Coffee Pancake Posted May 16, 2022 Share Posted May 16, 2022 21 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said: I always like to see SL mentioned, despite it often being far more negative than it needs to be, and I never saw the following example. From the link I posted earlier about addiction, this psychologist talks about SL and posts a picture (worth watching to see the funny pic), and describes a legal secretary in SL who embezzled $400,000 real dollars from her company in order to buy stuff in SL. *She starts describing SL at about the 5 or 6 minute mark* She also neglects to mention that everything there is to buy is made by other people in SL. Wake me up when she starts helping people who are addicting to work, luring people in with the promise of a sweet paycheck and not needing to sleep under a bridge. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luna Bliss Posted May 16, 2022 Share Posted May 16, 2022 6 minutes ago, Coffee Pancake said: 30 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said: I always like to see SL mentioned, despite it often being far more negative than it needs to be, and I never saw the following example. From the link I posted earlier about addiction, this psychologist talks about SL and posts a picture (worth watching to see the funny pic), and describes a legal secretary in SL who embezzled $400,000 real dollars from her company in order to buy stuff in SL. *She starts describing SL at about the 5 or 6 minute mark* Expand She also neglects to mention that everything there is to buy is made by other people in SL. Wake me up when she starts helping people who are addicting to work, luring people in with the promise of a sweet paycheck and not needing to sleep under a bridge. You do have to watch these Psychologists for sure...or people who don't have the full picture of what goes on in SL. I'm not sure she went as far as a therapist I knew who said all gay people are sick individuals because all the gay people in her practice had major problems. Well DUH, people doing fine emotionally, including gay ones, don't go to therapists! She's really just addressing the addicted people she sees in her practice, and warning of potential dangers (as far as I can see). I did skim the latter parts though. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ceka Cianci Posted May 16, 2022 Share Posted May 16, 2022 (edited) 1 hour ago, Luna Bliss said: One of the most horrific sights I ever saw was my grandson lying on a bed, not more than 18 months old, sucking on a bottle with one hand and a toddler Ipad in the other. He should have been in his parents lap, feeling their warmth and gazing into their eyes -- not gazing into a damn device. I only hope he got enough nurturing, the comfort and connection needed to build a solid, healthy self, and is not emotionally damaged. However they were so careful not to allow any overwhelming content for him to watch, only the simple little stresses of cartoon characters without any violence as they went about their day, and I was grateful for that. But NOW...this uber- gaming father of his has him into Roblox (he's too young for it, even according to the TOS, and I'm not sure if his father even supervises him much), and on phone conversations with his mother I hear him running around in the background exclaiming "kill all the people!!". Sigh I swore on my life with my first beautiful baby boy, that the bad in this world is gonna have to try and make it through mommy before it could ever get to him.. You can bet my husband is in that same mind set.. Smartphones are just one of the things that we agree is a threat to our boys.. From the world I see around me, with how they have overwhelmed peoples lives and distracted them from being in the present,losing jobs because they can't stay off them.. I feel very confident we made the right choice.. We've done it with tv and computers and pretty much anything that we feel will do harm more than good.. A little bit of something is fine.. But those kinds of things will never be the baby sitter.. We have Grandparents and Aunts and Uncles and cousins that are more than willing to do that if it's ever needed.. They have plenty to learn from them.. Families are different as well as each child is different.. There is no one set plan for all.. Stats, professionals and all that, before I even consider them, I'd ask them first thing, do they have children? Then probably a bunch of other questions too, because I'm not easy like that!!\o/ hehehehe This post was a heck of a lot longer than it is now, but all that typing was just to type it out for my sake and then scrap.. hehehe Edited May 16, 2022 by Ceka Cianci 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coffee Pancake Posted May 16, 2022 Share Posted May 16, 2022 1 hour ago, Luna Bliss said: You do have to watch these Psychologists for sure...or people who don't have the full picture of what goes on in SL. This is why I detest the never ending barrage of students looking for some weirdo very-online cohort to base their thesis on. That garbage informs this garbage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coffee Pancake Posted May 16, 2022 Share Posted May 16, 2022 14 minutes ago, Ceka Cianci said: I swore on my life with my first beautiful baby boy, that the bad in this world is gonna have to try and make it through mommy before it could ever get to him.. You can bet my husband is in that same mind set.. Smartphones are just one of the things that we agree is a threat to our boys.. From the world I see around me, with how they have overwhelmed peoples lives and distracted them from being in the present,losing jobs because they can't stay off them.. I feel very confident we made the right choice.. We've done it with tv and computers and pretty much anything that we feel will do harm more than good.. A little bit of something is fine.. But those kinds of things will never be the baby sitter.. We have Grandparents and Aunts and Uncles and cousins that are more than willing to do that if it's ever needed.. They have plenty to learn from them.. My parents had the same approach with myself and siblings. Everything we were exposed to, and everyone we associated with had to pass the great parental filter. We we're deliberately unprepared for the world that existed beyond their tiny bubble and have ALL faced significant struggles as a result. Life, higher education, work, social expectations, responsibility, relationships and mental health (especially). We have all suffered from degrees of depression, suicidal ideation, addiction, burnout and crippling anxiety. We all still struggle to make and maintain meaningful friendships. We didn't all manage to leave the nest, the youngest (now in his 30s) is incapable of building relationships with his peers. The world they expected us to take part in simply did not exist when we set out on our own, some of us were blessed with extremely patient and thoughtful interventions from partners, friends and lovers who saw enough in each of us to deal with our *****. Moving out of home to continue education at college and university was an intense culture shock that severely overwhelmed and train-wrecked our intended career paths. The cultural and societal disconnect between them and their grandchildren has all but guaranteed those relationships fail catastrophically long before the child reaches adulthood. From bringing up my own, yes I absolutely agree that there is a whole lot of terrifying nightmare fuel out there in the real world, but they have to be able to face it and deal with it, rather than being consumed by it. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lewis Luminos Posted May 16, 2022 Share Posted May 16, 2022 3 hours ago, Ceka Cianci said: You may want to look into this.. I know we will be giving this a look or something similar when our boys get into their teens.. If we get them any phone at all it will be more a phone than anything.. This is the first version where they are already with version 2 now. This is with version 2 That's great but my daughter is now 34, so I'm no longer concerned if she's out on her own 😉. Well, I kind of am but I don't need her to call me. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ceka Cianci Posted May 16, 2022 Share Posted May 16, 2022 9 minutes ago, Coffee Pancake said: My parents had the same approach with myself and siblings. Everything we were exposed to, and everyone we associated with had to pass the great parental filter. We we're deliberately unprepared for the world that existed beyond their tiny bubble and have ALL faced significant struggles as a result. Life, higher education, work, social expectations, responsibility, relationships and mental health (especially). We have all suffered from degrees of depression, suicidal ideation, addiction, burnout and crippling anxiety. We all still struggle to make and maintain meaningful friendships. We didn't all manage to leave the nest, the youngest (now in his 30s) is incapable of building relationships with his peers. The world they expected us to take part in simply did not exist when we set out on our own, some of us were blessed with extremely patient and thoughtful interventions from partners, friends and lovers who saw enough in each of us to deal with our *****. Moving out of home to continue education at college and university was an intense culture shock that severely overwhelmed and train-wrecked our intended career paths. The cultural and societal disconnect between them and their grandchildren has all but guaranteed those relationships fail catastrophically long before the child reaches adulthood. From bringing up my own, yes I absolutely agree that there is a whole lot of terrifying nightmare fuel out there in the real world, but they have to be able to face it and deal with it, rather than being consumed by it. It may sound like a similar approach but I doubt it's the same.. As i mentioned before, Each family is different as is each child. It may sound like we're sheltering them, but that's not the case.. I just grazed the subject like I am now.. Between us and the rest of my family, there is a wealth of experience for them to gain first. I wasn't sheltered, my husband sure wasn't sheltered and neither of us had smartphones. We both have had a very good taste of the bad this world offers. When everyone is home in our house, it's home time..It's not all their friends on their friends list and the rest of the world or the internet distracting from that..There is not a reason in the world that they need all that exposure 24/7 to get ready for the real world out there.. The problem with smartphones is people think they need them.. We didn't even need to have phones on us for the longest time, now we're bad parents for our kids not having a phone? You don't need a smart phone to be prepared for the world. Good parents is a real plus though. I have an amazing father that stepped up and took both roles and I'm grateful for that..the other, I couldn't care less one way or the other about her living or dying. Believe me i know the damage sheltering can cause.. I see it in a lot of kids and adults..That's not happening here.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ayashe Ninetails Posted May 16, 2022 Share Posted May 16, 2022 Remember when they told us listening to rock music was evil and heavy metal would make us degenerates? Come to think of it, man, my generation wasn't allowed to have ANY fun - Grunge is terrible, metal makes you worship the devil, video games make you violent, rap will eat your face, MTV will corrupt us all, Mortal Kombat needs banning, GTA 1 *really* needs banning, Parental Advisory - Explicit Lyrics (gee, thanks Prince! ❤️). Oh speaking of the Parental Advisory sticker era, I used to peel them off my tapes and CDs and stick em all over my mom's gospel collection. I like to think that we mostly turned out okay, though. On the smartphone/tablet/electronics angle, I think as long as things stay balanced, kids will be fine. My niece and nephew love their tablets and playing Minecraft and other games, but they also have school sports and activities going on. I didn't have phones or anything growing up, but we were all weighed down with pockets and handbags full of change for the pay phones (omg) scattered all over the place and expected to use them frequently (what a pain in the...). Social media is a whole other thing - I imagine that's a lot harder for parents to manage. Even worse that some phones come with those apps preinstalled (and on mine at least, you can't even uninstall the dang things!). 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ceka Cianci Posted May 16, 2022 Share Posted May 16, 2022 12 minutes ago, Ayashe Ninetails said: Remember when they told us listening to rock music was evil and heavy metal would make us degenerates? Come to think of it, man, my generation wasn't allowed to have ANY fun - Grunge is terrible, metal makes you worship the devil, video games make you violent, rap will eat your face, MTV will corrupt us all, Mortal Kombat needs banning, GTA 1 *really* needs banning, Parental Advisory - Explicit Lyrics (gee, thanks Prince! ❤️). Oh speaking of the Parental Advisory sticker era, I used to peel them off my tapes and CDs and stick em all over my mom's gospel collection. I like to think that we mostly turned out okay, though. On the smartphone/tablet/electronics angle, I think as long as things stay balanced, kids will be fine. My niece and nephew love their tablets and playing Minecraft and other games, but they also have school sports and activities going on. I didn't have phones or anything growing up, but we were all weighed down with pockets and handbags full of change for the pay phones (omg) scattered all over the place and expected to use them frequently (what a pain in the...). Social media is a whole other thing - I imagine that's a lot harder for parents to manage. Even worse that some phones come with those apps preinstalled (and on mine at least, you can't even uninstall the dang things!). Another big reason We feel strongly about smartphones and internet is, The internet is one huge personal information vacuum. We just feel it's better that they decide when they are adults and not children, to put themselves out there if they choose to and how much of themselves.. Something like that, we just feel should be left up to them when they are old enough to make that decision.. They get their time on the internet, they have their music and so on.. We just don't let them register on sites and things like that.. If they are on a phone, it's one of ours.. I look at all the clutter and sites I've built up over time and just think how much would they have by the time they were 18.. Then I cringe.. hehehe 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coffee Pancake Posted May 16, 2022 Share Posted May 16, 2022 A smartphone is increasingly a requirement to interact with society and is used as a point of identity & security. If you don't have a smart phone, you can't add an additional layer of security to accounts and services with multifactor authentication. This alone is reason enough to have one. We live in an information age, and one lapse can easily cascade into identity theft and significant financial loss - Dead serious, if you don't have one for this, get one. Instant unlimited global communication, never ever getting lost ever again, being able to compare prices, dumb distracting fun, audiobooks and other media .. None of us leave the house without one. Phone calls .. yeah, not so much. Who makes phone calls .. who even answers random phone calls. The people who are good at tech are the ones who were immersed in it as a child. Tech is a systemic pillar of our entire way of life and it's usage is only accelerating. Might as well be denying them shoes. As for "we never needed one" .. yeah, i remember being told we wouldn't always have a calculator so it was important we could math by hand, always carrying a knife was important too .. you know, in case we needed to get a bit stabby. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coffee Pancake Posted May 16, 2022 Share Posted May 16, 2022 (edited) 8 minutes ago, Ceka Cianci said: Something like that, we just feel should be left up to them when they are old enough to make that decision.. Who would you rather have teaching your kids about these things and having meaningful participation online? You .. or some other kid smuggling them an old phone so they aren't left out. My parents didn't approve of comics (and a great many other things) .. I voraciously consumed a significant amount of them and leant to keep secrets. Edited May 16, 2022 by Coffee Pancake Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ayashe Ninetails Posted May 16, 2022 Share Posted May 16, 2022 28 minutes ago, Ceka Cianci said: Another big reason We feel strongly about smartphones and internet is, The internet is one huge personal information vacuum. This would be my same concern to be honest. Especially since reading that article about how students' FAFSA data was unknowingly funneled over to Facebook via their online applications - whether they had accounts or not. Yeesh. I generally trust kids to do the right things and I do believe many do, but online privacy really is an issue. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arielle Popstar Posted May 16, 2022 Share Posted May 16, 2022 37 minutes ago, Ceka Cianci said: I look at all the clutter and sites I've built up over time and just think how much would they have by the time they were 18.. Then I cringe.. hehehe Isn't that like a "do as I say, not as I do" sort of thing? That worked out like never. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ceka Cianci Posted May 16, 2022 Share Posted May 16, 2022 1 minute ago, Coffee Pancake said: Who would you rather have teaching your kids about these things and having meaningful participation online? You .. or some other kid smuggling them an old phone so they aren't left out. My parents didn't approve of comics (and a great many other things) .. I voraciously consumed a significant amount of them and leant to keep secrets. My kids are not locked away in a dark room getting small plates of food for thought.. They also are not hounding and begging for a phone. My oldest is 11, his interest in a phone is about as much as his interest in watching a love story.. hehehe I'm not so far out of high school that I can't remember what went on in school or with my friends back then or the ones trying to get us sucked into things..Those things are always there.. Some kids smoked or did drugs ,some kids tried to get other kids to smoke and do drugs with them..Some got talked into it and some didn't.. Not everyone buys into what another is pushing on them.. They have older cousins ahead of them as well which they'll pick up and learn things from them, as I did from my older sister and my cousins.. It's not like they are sitting around with all kinds of time to burn just waiting for someone to come along and corrupt their minds.. Between sports and school,their friends and the things they do around the farm and the land, they're falling asleep before bed time.. When the teen years get here, we'll adjust the best we can and go from there.. I'm not gonna get him a smartphone because one day someone said some kid might slide him a smartphone.. What kind of parent would I be if I let every little fear that gets slid to me, adjust my parenting.. It wouldn't be long before everyone else was raising my kids.. It's situational and I have eyes on the situation where others don't.. When and if the day comes,they start hounding us for a smartphone, We'll put our heads together and come up with something..That's all I can say that will happen until then.. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ceka Cianci Posted May 16, 2022 Share Posted May 16, 2022 14 minutes ago, Arielle Popstar said: Isn't that like a "do as I say, not as I do" sort of thing? That worked out like never. Is someone that quits drug addiction and goes around saying drugs are bad a, Do as I say, not as I Do, sort of thing? Or is it a ,Do as I say,Not As I DID, sort of thing? Because I was on the internet before I was 18 also, but I'm not under 18 now..hehehe I wish I would not have put myself out there as much as I did then..There wasn't anyone around to learn from with that.. It sounds more like a lesson from experience than anything.. Because I've learned from my own experience not to do that anymore and just passing it along.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ayashe Ninetails Posted May 16, 2022 Share Posted May 16, 2022 Real talk - What does someone even DO with a smartphone? 😂 Those tiny screens make me rage so much. Mine hasn't been activated in months - I choose Discord over texting/calls, tablet for casual gaming, PC for real gaming, PC for YouTube, Twitch, social media, web browsing, literally everything. I guess if I had to be away from the desktop I'd use one more, but ... no, probably not. Those tiny screens!!!!!!!!!!!! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ceka Cianci Posted May 16, 2022 Share Posted May 16, 2022 6 minutes ago, Ayashe Ninetails said: Real talk - What does someone even DO with a smartphone? 😂 Those tiny screens make me rage so much. Mine hasn't been activated in months - I choose Discord over texting/calls, tablet for casual gaming, PC for real gaming, PC for YouTube, Twitch, social media, web browsing, literally everything. I guess if I had to be away from the desktop I'd use one more, but ... no, probably not. Those tiny screens!!!!!!!!!!!! I didn't get one until probably 3 years ago maybe? I don't know, it's still my first one.. It's just a phone pretty much to me.. when I first got it I put some songs on it, but never really listened to them too much.. I just hate having things in my ears.. I took forever and a day getting a phone at all, until my husband pretty much made me get one.. About the only other thing I do with it is play this picture game, where you try to find what's been changed from this picture and the other.. otherwise it's pretty much a phone.. Oh and when someone texts.. I don't text people but they will me.. I'd much rather they call instead of, What'cha doing right now? I'd much rather be on the desk top for any kind of internet. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pixie Kobichenko Posted May 16, 2022 Share Posted May 16, 2022 Not really a true comparison. In the 80s it was a big deal if a kid had a Walkman. Gameboy? Maybe you knew a kid whose older brother had one and you considered it a fun time to peep over their shoulder as the played . We only had a vcr because my dad won it at a Xmas party. These items were several hundred dollars when they popped up in the USA. Now one can literally get a cell phone for free to no cost. If cell phones & iPads existed when I was a kid (& as accessible as they are now) we would have had our eyeballs glued to them, too. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Akane Nacht Posted May 17, 2022 Share Posted May 17, 2022 my parents bought me this badboy as a pre-teen: I played it til the buttons wore out. I'm sure I'd have been far worse with a smartphone. While we don't have kids, I do notice the youngsters getting .. chunkier.. in the past 10 years. Can't help but wonder how much sedentary play is contributing to that. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arielle Popstar Posted May 17, 2022 Share Posted May 17, 2022 5 hours ago, Ceka Cianci said: Is someone that quits drug addiction and goes around saying drugs are bad a, Do as I say, not as I Do, sort of thing? Or is it a ,Do as I say,Not As I DID, sort of thing? Because I was on the internet before I was 18 also, but I'm not under 18 now. hehehe I wish I would not have put myself out there as much as I did then. There wasn't anyone around to learn from with that.. It sounds more like a lesson from experience than anything.. Because I've learned from my own experience not to do that anymore and just passing it along.. If that person who quits their addiction is not able to share why it became an addiction and the damage or problems that came as a result then yes, it is no more then a "Do as I say, not as I Did". The same way with digital devices and the ease and even propensity to rely on them too much for social engagement or even what to think rather then learning how to think for oneself. There are so many things people can become addicted to that there is simply no way to avoid everything that could. Looking back at my own early years, I would have wished that I would have been taught about the nature of addictiveness and learning to spot it before stepping over the line rather than being just warned "don't do this, don't do that, because I say so." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ceka Cianci Posted May 17, 2022 Share Posted May 17, 2022 1 hour ago, Arielle Popstar said: If that person who quits their addiction is not able to share why it became an addiction and the damage or problems that came as a result then yes, it is no more then a "Do as I say, not as I Did". The same way with digital devices and the ease and even propensity to rely on them too much for social engagement or even what to think rather then learning how to think for oneself. There are so many things people can become addicted to that there is simply no way to avoid everything that could. Looking back at my own early years, I would have wished that I would have been taught about the nature of addictiveness and learning to spot it before stepping over the line rather than being just warned "don't do this, don't do that, because I say so." Then you may want to go back to page one and start from the beginning instead of jumping in towards the end of it all assuming your way at me.. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arielle Popstar Posted May 17, 2022 Share Posted May 17, 2022 5 hours ago, Ceka Cianci said: Then you may want to go back to page one and start from the beginning instead of jumping in towards the end of it all assuming your way at me.. You're right, I missed your post on the first page. My apologies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orwar Posted May 17, 2022 Share Posted May 17, 2022 On 5/16/2022 at 1:49 AM, Katherine Heartsong said: I grew up in the 60s being promised flying cars. I want my darn flying cars!!!! Only $92K, get yours today! 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rowan Amore Posted May 17, 2022 Share Posted May 17, 2022 2 minutes ago, Orwar said: Only $92K, get yours today! But does it fold down to briefcase size at the push of a button? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orwar Posted May 17, 2022 Share Posted May 17, 2022 13 minutes ago, Rowan Amore said: But does it fold down to briefcase size at the push of a button? Briefcase and batteries not included. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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