Jump to content

Recommended Posts

On 9/7/2019 at 8:45 AM, AngstyJellyfish said:

I do try to ask them to stop, but it never really works. Asking them why they're doing it never seems to yield results for me either. I might be too polite. Some of my friend will certainly get good use out of this method though.

Asking a bully to stop is counterproductive. That's what they want you to do. Bullies, like other investors, want a return on their investment. When in groups they feed each other, but when alone they can only get a return from you. Do not reply. If you have a history of being pushed in sandboxes (I can't recall ever being pushed in a sandbox), switch to a different one or rez something before you start working and sit on it. If someone renders something to block your view, derender it. If it's obstructing prim movement, set your prim phantom temporarily. Once the bully realizes you can't be affected, they'll move on.

In RL, I am 5'2" tall and weigh less than 100lbs. I'm well aware of my vulnerabilities and plan accordingly. If I'm going out for an evening in Milwaukee, I take a friend and I avoid dangerous neighborhoods. Nevertheless, when in public I can still be subjected to objectionable behavior, such as someone in the row ahead of me at the opera eating Doritos. I just ignore the chewing and focus on the bearded man singing in Italian, which can't understand anyway.

In SL, I am invincible! I can make myself invisible. I can make you invisible. I can teleport, I can become as immovable as Mt. Everest. The things I create are equally invincible. If I can enjoy a bearded man, singing in Italian over the crunching of Doritos, there's nothing in a SL sandbox that can bother me. During my first few weeks in SL, this was not the case. I hadn't yet learned the tools and the culture of this place and I felt vulnerable. I changed clothing under a barge in a canal so people wouldn't see me naked, even though my freebie skin had no girly bits.

Now, eleven years later, I am reasonably bully-proof. If I have a vulnerability, it's seeing other people suffering harassment. The only help I can offer is to remind them of their invincibility.

ETA: My contribution here presumes, of course, that there was some harassment. SL was intended to be a place to create and explore. Sandboxes are the nexus of that idea, so one might reasonably expect exploration of the things one creates, while creating them. It's the same in RL, where I build sand and snow sculptures and carve halloweens pumpkins at public gatherings designed for those activities. Though I'm a natural introvert, the interruptions I endure while creating in public (RL or SL) are worth it if I can inspire even one person to attempt the joyous act of creation.

Edited by Madelaine McMasters
Watch me create a post, in public!
  • Like 9

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

This is a very judgy thread! The OP is judging those who apparently wandered through their build; posters are responding by judging the OP, and yet other posters are judging the posters who are judging . . . etc.

Welcome to the SL Forums............... well, no different than almost any other forums really.

In truth, most of us are very judgmental, subconsciously, of almost all others (in RL and SL).  We just don't speak it out loud very often in face to face contact, in SL or RL. 

Edited by LittleMe Jewell
missing word
  • Like 3
  • Thanks 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
44 minutes ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

This is a very judgy thread! The OP is judging those who apparently wandered through their build; posters are responding by judging the OP, and yet other posters are judging the posters who are judging . . . etc.

The more I get lumped in with everyone else when I haven't judged anyone, just offered help and a different sandbox where people are mostly left alone while building not only hurts, it makes me angry. Neither of my two posts were judgemental, yet, I get tossed in with all the rest regardless of my own actions/words. blowbrainsout.gif.a4c5f05333ad9bdcb9297839f9c57960.gif

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
3 minutes ago, Selene Gregoire said:

The more I get lumped in with everyone else when I haven't judged anyone, just offered help and a different sandbox where people are mostly left alone while building not only hurts, it makes me angry. Neither of my two posts were judgemental, yet, I get tossed in with all the rest regardless of my own actions/words. blowbrainsout.gif.a4c5f05333ad9bdcb9297839f9c57960.gif

Selene, no one, other than the OP, was singled out. It was a very general statement -- and, as should maybe have been apparent from my last line, also a bit jokey. It really shouldn't be necessary for me to list people who are exceptions to a very broad statement, but for what it's worth, I wasn't in the slightest thinking of your contributions when I wrote that.

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
36 minutes ago, Madelaine McMasters said:

or rez something before you start working and sit on it.

While that may work for most people, it won't work for me. I'm constantly moving my av around as I work and I can't be taking the time to stop and move something to sit on and sit as well. If I were to do that I would lose my train of thought and that is never a good thing when building. Especially if you are working on adjusting a script and you don't really know anything about LSL (and have TBI). So, for me, the sit thing is out. I have to find other solutions.

Edited by Selene Gregoire

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
17 minutes ago, Selene Gregoire said:

The more I get lumped in with everyone else when I haven't judged anyone, just offered help and a different sandbox where people are mostly left alone while building not only hurts, it makes me angry. Neither of my two posts were judgemental, yet, I get tossed in with all the rest regardless of my own actions/words.

Welcome to the party.  Once a judgernaut gets moving, anyone on the tracks can be flattened.  I have found myself in the middle of someone else's flame war more than once.  Rather than join the fun, I usually find somewhere quiet to sit and enjoy my popcorn.  As judgmental threads go, though, this one's really rather mild. You haven't suffered much by being tossed in with the rest..  There are good, rational points on many sides of the discussion, and not a ton of ill will.  I hope that the OP is still hanging with us, because there's a lot to learn here. Scylla's meta-perspective alone -- boobs and all -- is worth the price of admission.

Edited by Rolig Loon
  • Like 5

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
11 minutes ago, Selene Gregoire said:

While that may work for most people, it won't work for me. I'm constantly moving my av around as I work and I can't be taking the time to stop and move something to sit on and sit as well. If I were to do that I would lose my train of thought and that is never a good thing when building. Especially if you are working on adjusting a script and you don't really know anything about LSL (and have TBI). So, for me, the sit thing is out. I have to find other solutions.

Have you encountered much pushing in public sandboxes, Selene? Most of my in-world time over the last four years has been spent in public sandboxes. In my eleven years here, I've never been pushed or harassed in a public sandbox, and so have never needed any of the solutions I've offered. I understand that there may be situations in which my solutions aren't practical, but I imagine the need for them to be rare. That, of course, exposes the limits of my imagination.

Edited by Madelaine McMasters
  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
9 minutes ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

Selene, no one, other than the OP, was singled out. It was a very general statement -- and, as should maybe have been apparent from my last line, also a bit jokey. It really shouldn't be necessary for me to list people who are exceptions to a very broad statement, but for what it's worth, I wasn't in the slightest thinking of your contributions when I wrote that.

I'm not a mind reader.

General statements normally include everyone unless otherwise stated. A simple (not everyone) suffices.

13 minutes ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

I wasn't in the slightest thinking

That much was obvious to me.

  • Sad 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 minutes ago, Madelaine McMasters said:

Have you encountered much pushing in public sandboxes, Selene? Most of my in-world time over the last four years has been spent in public sandboxes. In my eleven years here, I've never been pushed or harassed in a public sandbox, and so have never needed any of the solutions I've offered. I understand that there may be situations in which my solutions aren't practical, but I imagine the need for them to be rare. That, of course, exposes the limits of my imagination.

No, I can't say I have. Not even during my recent spate of having to use a sandbox because no land. I just had to deal with idiots who thought they could force me off the platform I'd been working on for several hours when there were plenty of vacant platforms to choose from. My solution was to do as the idiots were doing. Plop my build down right in the middle of a platform where you land when you tp up, rather than off to a side so that if there were no other platforms available someone could ask nicely if I minded sharing. At which point I would have cheerfully said no I don't mind! Unless, of course, it was a large build and I would be needing the space. Then I would explain and might even offer to vacate if I'd been there for several hours so someone else could get some work done instead of having to hunt for another sandbox. 

All too often I'm too damn nice for my own good.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
22 minutes ago, Selene Gregoire said:

While that may work for most people, it won't work for me. I'm constantly moving my av around as I work and I can't be taking the time to stop and move something to sit on and sit as well. If I were to do that I would lose my train of thought and that is never a good thing when building. Especially if you are working on adjusting a script and you don't really know anything about LSL (and have TBI). So, for me, the sit thing is out. I have to find other solutions.

Interesting.  I never move my avatar when I'm creating, so sitting on a prim is no hardship.  I move my camera around all the time...just not my body.  It gets in the way of creating.  The only time I'll move my avatar is to stand next to something, or sit on it, to get an idea of scale.

  • Like 5

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
13 minutes ago, Rolig Loon said:

You haven't suffered much by being tossed in with the rest.

I don't mean for this to sound snippy but I have to ask, how could you know? You can't really. You don't really know me or what my experiences have been in SL or RL so how can you be sure I haven't suffered? You can't. Because you don't know what I've been having to deal with lately.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
5 minutes ago, Lindal Kidd said:

Interesting.  I never move my avatar when I'm creating, so sitting on a prim is no hardship.  I move my camera around all the time...just not my body.  It gets in the way of creating.  The only time I'll move my avatar is to stand next to something, or sit on it, to get an idea of scale.

I move both cam and avatar. I also don't have 20/20 vision so I have to get in close and even with restraints turned off I still have to move my av to get in close enough to the small details to see what I am doing.

I also use my av to get the scale as close to accurate/realistic as possible.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Just now, Lindal Kidd said:

Interesting.  I never move my avatar when I'm creating, so sitting on a prim is no hardship.  I move my camera around all the time...just not my body.  It gets in the way of creating.  The only time I'll move my avatar is to stand next to something, or sit on it, to get an idea of scale.

Most of my recent in-world work is posing the li'l devil for vandalizing other people's photographs. I sit on the pose engine, so that takes care of pushing. For building, I also cam around rather than move my avatar, and sit only for test purposes. I probably have one of the laziest avatars in SL. I've been exploring Bellisseria a bit recently, looking for green dots with names I recognize. When I see one, I'll fall on 'em. Otherwise I float in the sky overhead and cam perv like crazy.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 minute ago, Madelaine McMasters said:

Otherwise I float in the sky overhead and cam perv like crazy.

/me hurriedly covers up her boobs.

  • Haha 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
5 minutes ago, Selene Gregoire said:

I don't mean for this to sound snippy but I have to ask, how could you know? You can't really. You don't really know me or what my experiences have been in SL or RL so how can you be sure I haven't suffered? You can't. Because you don't know what I've been having to deal with lately.

That's quite true, Selene, and I apologize.  I should have been more cautious and included my typical weasley word "probably."  I was being judgmental without even realizing it. On the other hand, you have no idea what my life has been like either, or how I have been coping, so we're even.  More or less.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
11 minutes ago, Rolig Loon said:

That's quite true, Selene, and I apologize.  I should have been more cautious and included my typical weasley word "probably."  I was being judgmental without even realizing it. On the other hand, you have no idea what my life has been like either, or how I have been coping, so we're even.  More or less.

Exactly. Thank you. I sincerely hope there is the possibility of things getting better for you and that things do get better for you. I also hope you are coping better with things than I can. Not much I can do about the so called health care system in the US. State care is barely a step above no care.

grouphug.gif.50d6e7cb3e29c5cbb7c6e9d94d32cdfa.gif

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, Selene Gregoire said:

I'm not a mind reader.

General statements normally include everyone unless otherwise stated. A simple (not everyone) suffices.

That much was obvious to me.

Well, it's maybe an interesting exemplification of what I was talking about, in terms of "judgement" and "consideration," in my post.

You're frankly not about to convince me that I should think you are justified in taking offense to what I wrote. I deliberately did not name names, and I tried to keep it a bit light-hearted. I'm also not about to start listing off exceptions every time I make a generalization about the tone or content of a thread: that would be unwieldy and should, mostly, be unnecessary.

However -- that is my understanding of how the initial sentences in my post should be read. It is, very clearly, not yours. And by the lights of my own argument, I should have been -- should be -- more considerate about how others might interpret my actions.

So, I'll acknowledge here that I was inconsiderate in making a blanket statement about this thread. That there was no intent to point fingers at anyone (with the possible exception of the OP, and even then, no, not really) matters less than that I wasn't careful enough to ensure that it couldn't be read by others as though I was. And for that I do apologize.

  • Like 2
  • Thanks 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

This is a very judgy thread!

Here comes the judge!

Edited by Love Zhaoying
  • Haha 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:
1 hour ago, Madelaine McMasters said:

Otherwise I float in the sky overhead and cam perv like crazy.

/me hurriedly covers up her boobs.

Stop that!

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Just now, Love Zhaoying said:

Stop that!

Oh, I don't care about you!

/me flashes Love

It's Maddy who has me worried. She's a notorious (dare I say nefarious?) prankster, and there's no telling what she might do with pics.

  • Haha 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
3 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said:

 

CF9E6801-61A2-40D1-9824-93F98EE39266.jpeg

My goodness, Love.

Who knew you were such a delicate and susceptible little flower?

I'll be careful in future to keep my boobs very far away!

  • Haha 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
11 minutes ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

It's Maddy who has me worried. She's a notorious (dare I say nefarious?) prankster, and there's no telling what she might do with pics.

And well you should be worried.  Before you know it, those pics will be peddled in every seedy back alley and men's room in SL.  The shame!

  • Like 2
  • Haha 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Just now, Rolig Loon said:

those pics will be peddled in every seedy back alley and men's room in SL.

Well, at least it would save me the trouble of distributing them myself.

  • Like 2
  • Haha 5

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


×
×
  • Create New...