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A friend of mine was telling me about something irritating that happened to him earlier and I kinda need to vent because I'm pretty upset about it too. My friend was working on a house in the usual sandbox he frequents, building the interior stuff, and he got an important phone call from a newer coworker needing help with something at the workplace so he had to step away to take the call. Apparently when he got back he discovered that one of the other people at the sandbox had decided to poke around inside his house because his scripted door says something whenever someone interacts with it. They hung around for like 4 minutes and even went upstairs and moved his avatar from where he was standing. They didn't say anything at all the whole time. I wasn't there and he was on the phone so neither of us have any clue why they were poking around or what the h*** they were doing. He didn't want to rip the script out so he ended up just placing an object over the door to prevent anybody from interacting with it again while he's working. I know it's a public space and a virtual world but that's no reason to throw common courtesy out the window. People should at least ask before wandering around your projects.

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47 minutes ago, AngstyJellyfish said:

A friend of mine was telling me about something irritating that happened to him

I wasn't there

ehm.. so how does this bother you?
 

49 minutes ago, AngstyJellyfish said:

 People should at least ask before wandering around your projects.

yes but they don't

Thats why there are several settings at owned land to prevent it.
When you'r at public grounds that of course won't work, but also isnt meant to be working because it already is in the name : public

Projects left alone at sandboxes are impossible to claim as private, if people have to leave, take it up and rezz again when comming back, this whole process won't take longer than a few seconds.
 

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2 hours ago, AngstyJellyfish said:

A friend of mine was telling me about something irritating that happened to him earlier and I kinda need to vent because I'm pretty upset about it too. My friend was working on a house in the usual sandbox he frequents, building the interior stuff, and he got an important phone call from a newer coworker needing help with something at the workplace so he had to step away to take the call. Apparently when he got back he discovered that one of the other people at the sandbox had decided to poke around inside his house because his scripted door says something whenever someone interacts with it. They hung around for like 4 minutes and even went upstairs and moved his avatar from where he was standing. They didn't say anything at all the whole time. I wasn't there and he was on the phone so neither of us have any clue why they were poking around or what the h*** they were doing. He didn't want to rip the script out so he ended up just placing an object over the door to prevent anybody from interacting with it again while he's working. I know it's a public space and a virtual world but that's no reason to throw common courtesy out the window. People should at least ask before wandering around your projects.

I've had that happen to me, and I checked the person's profile.  It said that the person I was seeing was developmentally delayed and that his mother had made the account for him. Apparently he likes to look at things but isn't comfortable communicating. It might be the same person your friend encountered.

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1 hour ago, Alwin Alcott said:

ehm.. so how does this bother you?
 

yes but they don't

Thats why there are several settings at owned land to prevent it.
When you'r at public grounds that of course won't work, but also isnt meant to be working because it already is in the name : public

Projects left alone at sandboxes are impossible to claim as private, if people have to leave, take it up and rezz again when comming back, this whole process won't take longer than a few seconds.
 

It bothers me because he's my friend and I feel bad when my friends feel bad. And I know how I would feel if it happened to me.

There's such a thing as common courtesy even in public places. Whether it's rl or sl you should still be conscious of other people and what they're working on. If people are building a stage in a public park for a play in the evening you're not just going to go walk all over it or shove them while they're taking a short break. For some reason people seem to think that just because the world is virtual then it's ok to do that sort of thing. And yet they still get upset about griefers who follow that same thought process. I know I would never do something like that because it's terribly rude.

When you have to leave suddenly, or, whoever forbid, you crash, it's not always possible to take your stuff up before you go. I've had to deal with the same kind of phone calls, being an assistant manager at my workplace. When you get a frantic call from a new employee saying "I don't know where ? is and I need it to complete ? before my shift ends! I asked ? and they don't know either and I can't just use ? because we don't get more until the truck comes in!" you can't exactly tell them "ok. i know that's super important and you could lose your job over it and it may only take like 15 minutes tops to help you with it but can you just give me a few minutes to select all these objects I haven't linked yet and take them into my inventory and then log out so I don't have to worry about too-curious people with no boundaries bothering them or me. After that we can deal with your thing." I know his job isn't retail but he still gets plenty of calls just like that that are urgent.

11 minutes ago, Theresa Tennyson said:

I've had that happen to me, and I checked the person's profile.  It said that the person I was seeing was developmentally delayed and that his mother had made the account for him. Apparently he likes to look at things but isn't comfortable communicating. It might be the same person your friend encountered.

We checked her profile but it isn't in English so I don't understand it and it isn't in German so it's neither of the two languages he's fluent in. Running it through google translate there isn't anything like that in there though, just a one sentence tagline type statement. The avatar and username were female and the profile picture appears to be a vampire, so I don't think it's the same guy. I'd be more understanding if it was that guy. After all, my friend is on the autism spectrum (it's public knowledge he doesn't mind being shared) and I've got my problems (which I do mind sharing). If it were me in that situation I'd likely tell him politely to please not do it again though I imagine my friend would be more blunt. Still, it would be a different situation than the one that happened.

7 minutes ago, Marianne Little said:

And I thought this thread was about something serious....

"House invaders"... 🤣

Perhaps it isn't as serious as somebody breaking into your home but conduct in rl vs. sl is still a pretty serious issue.

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18 minutes ago, AngstyJellyfish said:

If it were me in that situation I'd likely tell him politely to please not do it again

goodness.... it's a public sandbox... get real please

buy a sim and lock the door if you want full privacy and nobody comming close.

Edited by Alwin Alcott
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29 minutes ago, AngstyJellyfish said:

It bothers me because he's my friend and I feel bad when my friends feel bad. And I know how I would feel if it happened to me.

Well that's understandable, but a minor discourtesy in a sandbox that happened to someone else really doesn't seem worth an entire thread to "vent". 

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57 minutes ago, Alwin Alcott said:

goodness.... it's a public sandbox... get real please

buy a sim and lock the door if you want full privacy and nobody comming close.

It's not unrealistic to expect common courtesy from others. I don't expect anything of anybody else that I don't expect of myself. Unless someone is breaking the the law it's just rude to invade the space where someone else is working or tough they stuff without permission and regardless of the situation it's rude to run into them. 

43 minutes ago, Amina Sopwith said:

Well that's understandable, but a minor discourtesy in a sandbox that happened to someone else really doesn't seem worth an entire thread to "vent". 

There are several reasons. The most important is that I'm very close to my friends and I care about them very deeply. They're like family. So when they're upset or worried I can't help but be upset or worried right along with them. When somebody hurts somebody I care about it hurts me too.

Another is that I was raised to believe that manners are extremely important and you should always be considerate of others. It may not seem like a big deal to some but to me it definitely is. My consideration for others is the reason I'm not naming anybody because despite everything I still don't want to cause them any trouble.

Lastly, this is the straw that broke the camel's back, as the saying goes. My entire group of friends has been noticing or experiencing things like this since we joined sl but in the past few days these kinds of incidents have shown a marked increase.

21 minutes ago, Arduenn Schwartzman said:

1. Sit on something while afk.

2. Mute and derender offensive elements.

Problem solved. You're welcome.

Please explain? 

There's not really much more than a few seconds, or none at all, when you have to afk suddenly.

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12 minutes ago, AngstyJellyfish said:

It's not unrealistic to expect common courtesy from others. I don't expect anything of anybody else that I don't expect of myself. Unless someone is breaking the the law it's just rude to invade the space where someone else is working or tough they stuff without permission and regardless of the situation it's rude to run into them. 

There are several reasons. The most important is that I'm very close to my friends and I care about them very deeply. They're like family. So when they're upset or worried I can't help but be upset or worried right along with them. When somebody hurts somebody I care about it hurts me too.

Another is that I was raised to believe that manners are extremely important and you should always be considerate of others. It may not seem like a big deal to some but to me it definitely is. My consideration for others is the reason I'm not naming anybody because despite everything I still don't want to cause them any trouble.

Lastly, this is the straw that broke the camel's back, as the saying goes. My entire group of friends has been noticing or experiencing things like this since we joined sl but in the past few days these kinds of incidents have shown a marked increase.

Please explain? 

There's not really much more than a few seconds, or none at all, when you have to afk suddenly.

You have an excellent first name.

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5 hours ago, AngstyJellyfish said:

A friend of mine was telling me about something irritating that happened to him earlier and I kinda need to vent because I'm pretty upset about it too. 

I know it's a public space and a virtual world but that's no reason to throw common courtesy out the window. People should at least ask before wandering around your projects.

Yeah there's a percentage of rude people in both RL & SL too, people who don't respect individual boundaries.  One day I just logged out of SL because I encountered 3 of them within a few hours!

I try to remember that most of my interactions with others are good, and people generally demonstrate respect for each others feelings...that gets me through those annoying days when they happen.

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1 minute ago, Luna Bliss said:

Yeah there's a percentage of rude people in both RL & SL too, people who don't respect individual boundaries

this is about somebody that entered a building that was left behind in a sandbox .... keep it a bit real please, you'r not that confused to mix that up with real griefing.

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1 minute ago, Alwin Alcott said:
4 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said:

Yeah there's a percentage of rude people in both RL & SL too, people who don't respect individual boundaries

this is about somebody that entered a building that was left behind in a sandbox .... keep it a bit real please, you'r not that confused to mix that up with real griefing.

It wasn't simply a building left behind @ a sandbox ....the builder was inside it and had been moved around when AFK. 

It's still griefing another, whether in a minor or major way, and I don't consider myself in the a position to judge how much or how little the OP and his friends should be upset by it.

 

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The reason you do not climb on a stage being built in a pubic park is that they put up a fence around it to prevent you from getting hurt and suing them. Common curtesy has nothing to do with it. In SL people can't get hurt and sue, so yes the rules are different here. Just get over it.

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6 minutes ago, Talligurl said:

Just get over it.

Did the OP say they could not or would not "get over it"?  I thought they were just expressing something they encountered which bothered them, and so wanted to vent about it.  Why are you trying to take their feelings away from them?  I mean if they went on and on for pages and pages, yeah, I'd feel like "enough please!", but that's not what the OP has done here.

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The level of over-reaction from you is absurd.

Was there any real inconvenience caused by this "house intruder?"

Was any part of the build actually disturbed? (Moved, misaligned, changed textures, scripts reset, etc. in a way that caused more work?)
Was your friend pushed far away from the build, for example across the sim or off the platform (if they were building in the sky)?
Was anything rezzed that would disturb continuing to work on the build?
Was anything mean said to anyone?

If the answer to all of these is no, there's literally no reason for anyone -- even the person this happened to -- to worry or be upset.

 

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9 minutes ago, Wulfie Reanimator said:

The level of over-reaction from you is absurd.

I have been shoved around in my store when working there but needed to go AFK for a few minutes. It's annoying, and I consider it invasive.  

Edited by Luna Bliss
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1 minute ago, Luna Bliss said:

I have been shoved around in my store when working there but needed to go AFK for a few minutes. It's annoying. 

It can be and I'm not denying that. But it depends heavily on distance and is relative to the size of the thing you were focused on.

If you go afk and get annoyed because you've come back to your avatar having shifted by a half-step because someone brushed against you while they were walking around and loading/lagging, that's also an over-reaction. If instead you've been shoved into a wall/corner or away from whatever specific thing you were standing in front of (like a vendor), that's different.

And when you're working on an entire house, the exact position of your avatar probably doesn't even matter as you (hopefully) don't build from your avatar's view unless you are testing proportions. No matter how big or small of a detail you're working on, you should be using the alt-cam feature to dislocate the camera from your avatar, at which point your avatar doesn't even matter anymore.

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6 minutes ago, Wulfie Reanimator said:

It can be and I'm not denying that. But it depends heavily on distance and is relative to the size of the thing you were focused on.

If you go afk and get annoyed because you've come back to your avatar having shifted by a half-step because someone brushed against you while they were walking around and loading/lagging, that's also an over-reaction.

I don't understand why you're setting up parameters to determine whether a person can or cannot be upset by an experience. What might upset you wouldn't phase another, and vice versa, so it would be difficult to judge what is "appropriate" for another in terms of how they should feel.  Now of course if we're talking about a court case where degrees of griefing  are taken into account so that an appropriate punishment could be applied then this is different, but that's not what the OP was doing.

The OP simply said, among other behaviors, someone was shoving around another avatar and this was annoying to them and their friend -- and they said they're encountering this behavior more often lately. The intention of an avatar who pushes into another avatar is to bug them, and I can't understand why the OP's simple expression of this bothering them is anything that should be contested.

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when everybody who ever bumped against a afk avatar would leave SL today, it would be a empty place tonight.

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3 minutes ago, Alwin Alcott said:

when everybody who ever bumped against a afk avatar would leave SL today, it would be a empty place tonight.

True, but that's not what we're talking about here.

This is a griefing technique -- deliberately shoving into other people. I've encountered it simply walking along a street before too, making it very difficult to walk. The intention is to annoy another.

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I loved a good meaningless drama thread with my coffee. Thank you, OP, for your "angsty" contribution to this lovely Saturday morning. 

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AngstyJellyfish, I have a method for you to try in order to counter the avatar that likes to run into people when you're inworld.  It worked for me...it's the Luna Bliss psychobabble approach...lol.
Once I was working on a job and some avatar kept ramming themselves into me, causing my view to jump and making it difficult to build, and disturbing my mood as well since it felt like an attack. Finally, I turned to them and said "you know, here we are in SL where we can be anything we want to be, and THIS is what you want to be???"  They left :)

Edited by Luna Bliss
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21 minutes ago, Wulfie Reanimator said:

It can be and I'm not denying that. But it depends heavily on distance and is relative to the size of the thing you were focused on.

If you go afk and get annoyed because you've come back to your avatar having shifted by a half-step because someone brushed against you while they were walking around and loading/lagging, that's also an over-reaction. If instead you've been shoved into a wall/corner or away from whatever specific thing you were standing in front of (like a vendor), that's different.

And when you're working on an entire house, the exact position of your avatar probably doesn't even matter as you (hopefully) don't build from your avatar's view unless you are testing proportions. No matter how big or small of a detail you're working on, you should be using the alt-cam feature to dislocate the camera from your avatar, at which point your avatar doesn't even matter anymore.

 

1 minute ago, Luna Bliss said:

True, but that's not what we're talking about here.

This is a griefing technique -- deliberately shoving into other people. I've encountered it simply walking along a street before too, making it very difficult to walk. The intention is to annoy another.

He was shoved into a corner of the second floor of the house but aside from that there's no telling exactly what was done. He was afk, so all we know is that the person entered the house, at some point decided to shove his avatar as far as they could given the fact the walls are solid, and left at some point. One of the concerns that were raised by another friend in our friend group was "what if the person did something unsavoury?" It's something she's witnessed a few times around sl and something I've seen once in a g rated sandbox, which we've reported each time, where an avatar is clearly afk or set to away and either they get shoved into a corner or the offender is close to them and they start posing in ways that could potentially result in both avatars getting banned.

Just the other week I was in a sandbox working on texturing some flowers to use as decor later and suddenly my avatar was trapped in a bubble that was eternally moving upwards and I had to teleport to another location, all of my stuff left behind because I couldn't cam to it to pick it up. 

8 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said:

AngstyJellyfish, I have a method for you to try in order to counter the avatar that likes to run into people when you're inworld.  It worked for me...it's the Luna Bliss psychobabble approach...lol.
Once I was working on a job and some avatar kept ramming themselves into me, causing my view to jump and making it difficult to build, and disturbing my mood as well since it felt like an attack. Finally, I turned to them and said "you know, here we are in SL where we can be anything we want to be, and THIS is what you want to be???"  They left :)

Thank you. I appreciate the advice, and I'm sorry people bother you like that. It's never fun. I'm glad you have more luck with getting them to leave you alone. I do try to ask them to stop, but it never really works. Asking them why they're doing it never seems to yield results for me either. I might be too polite. Some of my friend will certainly get good use out of this method though.

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