is there a violation of TOS and community standards?

[HarleiQuinn]

I had to call off a relationship with someone recently because I found someone in RL that I wanted to be with and we start seeing eachother. Well the person I was with on SL did not take it well as it wS cutting into "OUR TIME" They thought we were exclusive and were under the notion that we  were going to be together in the future in RL,which is ridiculous as I,m in the US, they in the UK. I was not going to be told I could not be with someone in RL and broke off our relationship on SL. well you know the drama..... depsite my sayiing NO SHARING of any IM,s OR personal RL info they went and did it anyway. People have told me today that they were sharing and telling what I said in IM and was telling my RL info. 

Is this a violation of TOS and community standards enough to where I can file an Abuse report for LL to take 'whatever" actions is needed. up to even banning their account?

[LaskyaClaren]

It is indeed a violation of Community Standards. item 4. 

Disclosure

Residents are entitled to a reasonable level of privacy with regard to their Second Life experience. Sharing personal information about your fellow Residents without their consent -- including gender, religion, age, marital status, race, sexual preference, alternate account names, and real-world location beyond what is provided by them in their Resident profile -- is not allowed. Remotely monitoring conversations in Second Life, posting conversation logs, or sharing conversation logs without the participants' consent are all prohibited.

https://secondlife.com/corporate/cs.php

And, if it occurred in-world, on the forums, the feeds, or anywhere else that is in the direct control of Linden Lab, then it can and should be ARed, preferably by those who received the information.

Unfortunately, however, LL can and will do nothing about disclosure that occurs outside of Linden Lab's own web properties or in-world. So, if this is being distributed by email, for instance, or on a blog, there's actually not much you can do about it.

 Edited to add link to Community Services

[KarenMichelle Lane]

Quick Answer - If your SL ex is sharing personal information about you in SL, then feel free to A.R. them. If they are sharing personal information about you outside of SL [say Facebook, MySpace, et,], then you are totally on your own.

 

 

[Perrie Juran]

Here is the link to the Community Standards.

If you have never read them before may I suggest that you do.

http://secondlife.com/corporate/cs.php

[LaskyaClaren]

Of course, sadly none of this can repair the damage of the disclosure itself. :-(

For what it's worth, disclosure is pretty reprehensible, and is pretty generally viewed as such within the SL community.

She/he is probably looking a lot worse by her/his action than the information disclosed is making you look.

[HarleiQuinn]

thank you all. I pretty much know what the TOS and all states but I wanted to be doubly sure. I did file as my personal RL info was given to mutal friends by here . she denies but yet THEY had no idea WHOM  I was in RL until today .she even told them my RL Facebook page and twitter, etc . All happened in world. People have no need to play into drama but when they flat out tell you that someone you were with is now sharing your RL details in open chat, via IM,s then there really is no denying it.

I said my peace at the end, wished them the best and moved on, unfortuneately Bitterness, Jealousy and Resentment got the best of them.

[LaskyaClaren]

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HarleiQuinn wrote:

thank you all. I pretty much know what the TOS and all states but I wanted to be doubly sure. I did file as my personal RL info was given to mutal friends by here . she denies but yet THEY had no idea WHOM  I was in RL until today .she even told them my RL Facebook page and twitter, etc . All happened in world. People have no need to play into drama but when they flat out tell you that someone you were with is now sharing your RL details in open chat, via IM,s then there really is no denying it.

I said my peace at the end, wished them the best and moved on, unfortuneately Bitterness, Jealousy and Resentment got the best of them.

---

If she did in fact communicate this information through one of the communication tools provided by LL, then her denial doesn't mean anything: LL will have access to the IMs, DMs, etc.

Unfortunately, LL does not communicate the results of their investigations to the reporter, so you will likely never know if action was taken or not, unless (perhaps) her account suddenly disappears without trace. 

Good luck to you. Moving on as you did is by far and away the best option. :-)

[irihapeti]

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HarleiQuinn wrote:

... They thought we were exclusive and were under the notion that we  were going to be together in the future in RL,which is ridiculous as I,m in the US, they in the UK.

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is a plane ride away. So not so ridiculous

i just wonder how you managed to allow yourself to evolve a relationship where the other person thought that this was a distinct possibility. Given the sharing of RL info by you. Given also that it seems to now be a ridiculous notion, only since you now met someone else

Online relationships are no different to offline. Is real people with real feelings. Broken hearts

[Madelaine McMasters]

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LaskyaClaren wrote:

She/he is probably looking a lot worse by her/his action than the information disclosed is making you look.

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You'll never get me to believe this!

[CheriColette]

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irihapeti wrote:

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HarleiQuinn wrote:

... They thought we were exclusive and were under the notion that we  were going to be together in the future in RL,which is ridiculous as I,m in the US, they in the UK.

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is a plane ride away. So not so ridiculous

i just wonder how you managed to allow yourself to evolve a relationship where the other person thought that this was a distinct possibility. Given the sharing of RL info by you. Given also that it seems to now be a ridiculous notion, only since you now met someone else

Online relationships are no different to offline. Is real people with real feelings. Broken hearts

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I thought this too irihapeti...re plane ride and getting a rl relationship strong enough to dump his online girl. How long did the cross over occur....before she (sl gf) was told of this developing love. I think she was very hurt and striking out the only way she could. Not that its an excuse but I can understand why. It takes a lot of gumption to walk away from someone you thought you were going to be with and not hurt them back when they hurt you. 

[Snugs McMasters]

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Madelaine McMasters wrote:

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LaskyaClaren wrote:

She/he is probably looking a lot worse by her/his action than the information disclosed is making you look.

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You'll never get me to believe this!

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You took the words right out of my mouth.

[Wooja]

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LaskyaClaren wrote:

LL can and will do nothing about disclosure that occurs outside of Linden Lab's own web properties or in-world.

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Wrong!

LL can do pretty much whatever they like with respect to avatar accounts, without giving a reason.

The reality is that they can't usually be bothered.

I do know, however, of at least one situation where they have communicated with an avatar and threatened to take action regarding what they felt was unacceptable behaviour outside LL owned/managed properties - even though they had absolutely no evidence of a link between that avatar and the external behaviour. LL backed off at a rate of knots once they had explained to them the necessity to demonstrate a chain of evidence.

I also know of another situation where they took action against an avatar which was observing the ToS of a LL owned property because it contravened the - at the time different - ToS of another LL owned property. Litigation, which would almost certainly have proved successful against LL, was not considered worthwhile, as that particular LL property was assessed as doomed to liquidation, which subsequently proved to be the case.

Wooja...suealawyerdammrightihavesuccessfully

 

[Wooja]

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HarleiQuinn wrote:

unfortuneately

Bitterness, Jealousy and Resentment

got the best of them.

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Is that the name of the legal firm LL used for "simplification" of the ToS?

Wooja...expectanythingless

[HarleiQuinn]

You presumed wrong just as they did. The Assumption of any rl get together was entirely theirs. I made it known that i don,t do things like that fro day 1.All it was to be wa

 

s a THING on SL between us two. If they became too emtionally attached thzts on them. So to take your line of reasoning I nor anyone else can start a realationship in RL while with someone on sl.How stupid.

[HarleiQuinn]

Uh probably cause you both are cut from the same cloth.Bitter over a break up?

[Jasmyn Vaher]

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is a plane ride away. So not so ridiculous

It’s a plane ride away, to meet…but then what? What they would’ve done to keep the relationship alive if that first meeting would have lead to real chemistry and feelings developing? Several trips USA-UK per year?... Sure, a small amount of long distance relationships may work. But fact is, most don’t. And fairly often, not for lack of effort by one or both parties involved...a long distance relationship is something I wouln't even get close to, but that's only my personal choice. To each their own

i just wonder how you managed to allow yourself to evolve a relationship where the other person thought that this was a distinct possibility. Given the sharing of RL info by you. Given also that it seems to now be a ridiculous notion, only since you now met someone else

When the relationship is in its “peak”; in its best moment it’s very common to share lots of RL info that later on, one comes to regret to have shared. But it doesn’t mean that the person sharing their personal  info has plans to take things to RL. Sure, HarleiQuinn may have been careless, so to speak and let their now SL ex think that there was a chance to take things to RL. In the worst case scenario, they may have even actively encouraged such idea. But, how naïve an adult person has to be to believe all those silly things your significant one in an online relationship tells you? People keep forgetting a basic fact. Way too many times, our SL significant one  is nothing but a stranger… However, this said, yes. I can understand Harlei's ex sl. That person is  hurt and striking back in the only way they can.

Online relationships are no different to offline. Is real people with real feelings. Broken hearts.

online relationships should  be different from real ones. And taken with a big  grain of salt...I guess I am just overly  jadded. Or perhaps just realistic.

In any case would you let pass the chance of a relationship with someone close to you, someone you can see easily in a daily basis without the hurdles and expenses transoceanic travels mean, just for staying in a “fantasyland” relationship that has slim to none chances to become a RL one? Me, for sure, not

 

[Pussycat Catnap]

AR away - that, if found true, is a serious violation.

 

[Nimh20 Vandeverre]

Harlei,

Come on, you have seen enough of my YouTube videos to realize you can't trust ANYONE in SL.  What you throw out on the Internet never ever comes back.  That includes that goofy Facebook crap.

[NicoDilingua]

LaskyaClaren wrote:

She/he is probably looking a lot worse by her/his action than the information disclosed is making you look.

Well, Laskya, unfortunately I think you are being a bit naive: in my case, she's not only still doing it but she's also boasting about it as well - and ARs seem to have no effect, although of course it's hard to tell seeing as Linden doesn't tell you what they are or aren't doing.

In my case, I was with a woman in SL for several months but in the end we split, partly because I decided I wanted to adopt a female avatar personality. I know it was upsetting for her and I'm not making excuses. But when my iPhone Pocket  Metaverse malfunctioned and sent her a message from my female ava, she was able to track me down. Since then she's wrecked my SL by outing my girl to all her friends and quoting on my IMs to them. There doesn't seem to be  a whole lot I can do about it. Of course, eventually it'll stop because by then, I probably wont have any friends anymore.