I'm kind of surprised that this thread hasn't been locked yet. Far too much here for me to respond to all of what I wanted to respond to (I tried to do some before I went to bed last night but my internet went down). But I do still have a few comments (and sorry @Tari Landar, most of them are comments on what you said..)
I am probably not the best kind of man to ask, as I am in no way typical of the average male demographic. But here's a few things that would make me very happy;
* More variety of menswear. There is tons of formalwear, there's tons of very casual grubby tanks/ripped jeans, but there is very little inbetween. The sort of clothes I would wear to work, or going down to the pub with my mates. Quality has already been mentioned, in the sense that a lot of menswear is, in comparison with womenswear, much better quality and much more expensive. I'd maybe like to see more in the tier below that; stuff that's a bit cheaper, sacrificing some of the quality in order to make it more affordable, but not dropping as far as "freebie" quality. More fantasy/costume choices for men. And no more t-shirts. Please god, no more graphic t-shirts.
* More roleplay, of the strictly non-sexual, storytelling type. Except, NOT para-RP, and NOT the sort that relies on huds and scripted combat systems. It takes me longer than average to type a long paragraph of text with one hand and using huds at speed is also much more difficult.
* More heavy rock/metal clubs. There ARE a few very popular rock clubs but many of the popular ones play a variety of music that isn't all rock. I'd like to see a few more that are strictly heavy-rock and heavy-metal-focussed, and are primarily English-speaking. There are quite a few clubs like this that are German-speaking, but my reason for going to clubs is at least 51% to chat and make friends, and I can't do that if I don't understand or speak their language.
* Vehicles that are easier to drive. I would love to have a really nice motorbike in SL but controlling one without spinning off the road into someone's back yard is nearly impossible.
I am pretty certain you're right - most men aren't here for sex at all. But I wonder if those men are even IMing women at all on a regular basis? I don't remember the last time I IM'd a woman (or a man) I didn't already know just to say hi. Probably it was several weeks ago. Whereas the guys that ARE looking for free sex are IMing hundreds of women a day.
I NEVER get these IM's from men when I'm wearing a masculine avatar (unless I'm in a gay club). And when I'm dressed femme, they ALWAYS either curse me or block me when I tell them I'm really a guy. If even 1% of these IMs came from a man who didn't want sex, then 1% of those conversations would have ended differently. And the contacts from guys who don't want sex? They always start differently.
So it's really no wonder that when a "Hi, how r u" comes in, you just know what's going to happen next.
But there's a big difference between a man making an unsolicited approach to a woman, and a woman making one to a man.
Men very rarely feel threatened, intimidated or afraid of being approached by a woman.
I have never had cause to be concerned if a woman is walking behind me on a dark street at night. If a woman I don't know approaches me, I have never been worried that she might try to hurt me. I have never been nervous about accepting a ride from a woman I don't know, and getting into her car. I have never been afraid that a woman might try to physically overpower me or assault me. I have never been worried that a woman might try to grope me on a crowded train. (And even if she did, I would interpret it as more of a compliment than a threat).
But women have to be aware of these things all the time. And I am sure that those fears might cross over into SL. If you don't feel able to trust men in RL, and then you come into SL and the men you encounter behave in exactly the same way, why should you trust them either?
Of course not. No-one's that good. But some people are that desperate.
None of these conversations should be talking about "men" and "women" at all. We are talking about "people" here. If a person treats all people with equal respect, then naturally they will be treating women with the same respect that they treat men.
Unfortunately it's not an even slate to start with, and the reason why women aren't fighting for men to have the same rights, is because men have already had them, for at least centuries, and probably millennia. Why should men expect women to fight for us, when we've (collectively, as a gender throughout history) treated them so badly since the dawn of human civilization?
That doesn't mean that women have the right to abuse men to "make up for it". It's time to draw a line in the ledger, write off the past and for everyone to treat all others with respect, regardless of their gender (or sexuality, or race, or disability, or religion). Respect should be given based on merit and behaviour, nothing else.
The one thing I disagree with in what you said here is that men in SL are treated worse than women. I don't think this is true. I think that men in SL are, for the most part, mostly ignored. We may get much less positive attention but we get much less negative attention too.
This male vegetarian says No to bacon. But I'll accept beer in lieu.