I got emotional after getting a sincere apology in Second Life

[Gopi Passiflora]

(This follows directly from my topic about frustration with strangers' IMs.  But this is NOT a complaint topic, but rather a retelling of a positive emotional surge I got after playing Second Life.)

A few days ago I was playing as one of my woman characters at Social Island 10 and a small non-human animal monster avatar came in the region. There was not much conversation going on except between another woman avi and a suspected bot (who was a little robot). The small avi started chatting in local asking random questions, presumably in a joking manner. I made a small quip about the female avi's little test to determine if the bot was really human or not. 

I then hear a familiar "ding ding" and found an IM from the animal monster that came in. He started asking me a random question about golf and how it made me feel. Naturally, I got frustrated because he opted to IM me when he was clearly capable of talking to me in local chat. I asked he why he IMed me and he basically said that he wanted to. He then asked me how it made me feel. At that point I realized he was just trolling me and so I ended the conversation after saying a few words.

I then decided that I would teach him a lesson about IMing people like that and trolling me. I logged in as one of my man characters , looked up the animal avi's name, and sent him an IM. I opened up with a "Hi", and to my surprise he answered back. He said "what's up?" I told him that I heard about him from social island 10. He immediately knew what I was talking about and first said "not to listen to the people there" because of his history with them. I answer with a simple OK, then followed up by asking "are people really toxic there?" He said that people are just annoying, but nothing more. He "ruffled a few feathers" there but assured me that it was just in good fun. I decided to let him go afterwards.

Later on, as I logged into the original woman character I played as earlier, I saw she got another IM from the animal avi that came while the woman character was logged off. He basically said he "sincerely apologizes" from any undue emotional distress I suffered because of his actions. At first I thought he was being sarcastic, but I decide to reply and accept his apology, but also telling him just to chat with me in local next time.

After I logged off from Second Life, I talked to my mom and discussed my feelings about life in general. I then recounted the experience to my mom. As I did...I got an emotional surge and started crying for some reason. I realized that the Second Life user's apology could be indeed sincere, and it made me feel...rather sentimental. (Can't think of the right word as I type this.)

I asked myself, why would I be feeling like this? Why would I cry tears...tears of happiness? Tears of...gratitude? I guess it's because I rarely encounter sincere apologies in my life, especially from bullies and other mean people. I also think that sincere apologies are just rare in the world in general. Maybe at that moment, it felt special to me.

I could've worded my experiences about my positive emotional surge better, but I just wanted to share. And I assure you I'm not trolling, I really felt this.

[Rat Luv]

Well...it shows you are human!  ❤️ But it's a shame it's so rare...I never thought ranting about 'snowflakes' and refusing to apologise, even if offence wasn't meant, was big or cool.

That person sounds OK 👍 I must admit, I sometimes IM people, I guess it depends on your preferences. But I have to say... I have had some crazy IMs, but NEVER anyone asking me what I felt about golf!??  I wouldn't have a clue how to answer! 

[Simo Vodopan]

I'd be cool with IMs, makes it easier to focus and it's just conversation I see there; it can be a genuine question to know what someone likes and for the sake of conversation. Talking about random things can be a good start to get something going - it keeps things fresh and interesting... and it's just what people do like at the water-cooler at work. Talking about whatever.

That could be a lesson telling you that and could be why you cried over it. It's not often you get genuine people yes. I don't think it's silly to cry (if anyone feels that way), it's nice to know people who act like people still exist.

[belindacarson]

You got emotional because somebody sent you an I'm? 🙄

[PheebyKatz]

You performed a magical deed, and got instant results. That is awesome. Remember, subtlety can be powerful magic.

And yeah, someone simply dropping their self-centeredness for a moment and apologizing for intentionally annoying people is worth feeling something over, I think. Anyone who's not emotionally moved by selfless acts is probably scared to even let themselves see them cry, and that's kinda sad.

People are afraid to be "good" because they think it makes them look weak. Thing is, we all have good in us, and its nothing to be ashamed of.

Being embarrassed to be genuinely kind is what makes people act like bullies in groups, because they're afraid of becoming prey by showing softness.

I worked full-time as a professional entertainer for almost two decades, and eventually ended up doing some singing. I soon found out there are songs I can't sing, because for me to sing a song well, I have to be feeling it, and when a song makes me choke up and cry, I can't sing it in a professional venue.

Never stopped me from singing them for myself, though. There's nothing wrong with having and expressing deep emotion, it's what sets us apart from the sea cucumbers and tapeworms and my ex.

Edited October 27, 2022 by PheebyKatz

[cunomar]

It was an opening , a random question on a harmless subject , an invitation to talk .

He ended up apologizing for it . And some wonder why SL is the most silent platform of communication on the internet 🙄

Incidentally, the best thing about golf is it keeps those who play it occupied a good distance from me .

Which is how i would have replied .

Edited October 27, 2022 by cunomar

[Scylla Rhiadra]

16 minutes ago, PheebyKatz said:

You performed a magical deed, and got instant results. That is awesome.

And yeah, someone simply dropping their self-centeredness for a moment and apologizing for intentionally annoying people is worth feeling something over, I think. Anyone who's not emotionally moved by selfless acts is probably scared to even let themselves see them cry, and that's kinda sad.

People are afraid to be "good" because they think it makes them look weak. Thing is, we all have good in us, and its nothing to be ashamed of.

Being embarrassed to be genuinely kind is what makes people act like bullies in groups, because they're afraid of becoming prey by showing softness.

I worked full-time as a professional entertainer for almost two decades, and eventually ended up doing some singing. I soon found out there are songs I can't sing, because for me to sing a song well, I have to be feeling it, and when a song makes me choke up and cry, I can't sing it in a professional venue.

Never stopped me from singing them for myself, though. There's nothing wrong with having and expressing deep emotion, it's what sets us apart from the sea cucumbers and tapeworms and my ex.

I love this so much.

I can burst into tears at odd moments while listening to music as I do dishes or walk the dog. I read poetry aloud to captive audiences, and occasionally have to stop mid recitation because I'm choking up. I value that part of me, as embarrassing as it can be sometimes.

I also value those who recognize that they've upset someone, and make the very real and sometimes difficult effort to apologize for it. I especially value that when I'm the one doing the apologizing.

All you've demonstrated, Gopi, is a strong sensitivity to and empathy for the feelings of others, and a sense of responsibility for how you interact with them.

Good for you.

[PheebyKatz]

19 minutes ago, cunomar said:

It was an opening , a random question on a harmless subject , an invitation to talk .

He ended up apologizing for it . And some wonder why SL is the most silent platform of communication on the internet 🙄

Asking someone, "And how does that make you feel?" when they respond is an obvious attempt at affecting someone's feelings, and is usually associated with being made to feel uncomfortable, like being grilled by a psychoanalyst. Also, anyone who's spent enough time on social platforms can usually sense a person's subtext in an IM. You can literally FEEL things coming off of people. Sometimes first impressions are wrong, but not as often as they're right.

Like seeing someone's dot and how it's moving on the mini map, and knowing they're looking for private homes to invade with escorts, because they're too cheap to rent their own home, or seeing their groups and immediately knowing they're on the wrong sim, and are going to be a problem. My friends can sense my mood, whether I say anything or not about anything but the usual stuff, and no matter how I try to hide it.

It wasn't innocent when he asked it, and he even copped to it later, if you bother to read the OP. Being nice goes a long way to making it better. He was nice once he checked himself.

Some wonder why nobody talks to them. Some are bitter and passive-aggressive, and still wonder. It's kinda funny... because my SL isn't silent at all, I had to make an alt just so I could build in peace, and now said alt has too many friends to have alone time without telling everyone  I have things to do and will chat with them later.

Edited October 27, 2022 by PheebyKatz

[cunomar]

Shrugs , SL taught me to dislike everyone by default . The polar opposite of who i was when i first signed up .

[PheebyKatz]

3 hours ago, cunomar said:

Shrugs , SL taught me to dislike everyone by default . The polar opposite of who i was when i first signed up .

Then why complain about people not talking to obvious trolls?

It's like going to a party and complaining to everyone that nobody likes you, then complaining later that nobody at the party wanted to talk to you. It's all their fault, of course, and all their responsibility, I'm sure. Your behavior is their doing, not yours. You have no control, right?

Hmm. Be seein ya~! *hits the magic button, only cries a little about it*

EDIT: Love, it's weird seeing you talking to empty space down there, someone else needs to post in here so you're not all alone~! XD

Edited October 27, 2022 by PheebyKatz

[Love Zhaoying]

43 minutes ago, PheebyKatz said:

Then why complain about people not talking to obvious trolls?

It's like going to a party and complaining to everyone that nobody likes you, then complaining later that nobody at the party wanted to talk to you. It's all their fault, of course, and all their responsibility, I'm sure. Your behavior is their doing, not yours. You have no control, right?

Hmm. Be seein ya~! *hits the magic button, only cries a little about it*

We need a flouncing troll Jif!

[Love Zhaoying]

7 hours ago, Gopi Passiflora said:

I made a small quip about the female avi's little test to determine if the bot was really human or not. 

I then hear a familiar "ding ding" and found an IM from the animal monster that came in.

You took the bait! Any response is an excuse to IM you.

 

[Love Zhaoying]

7 hours ago, Gopi Passiflora said:

After I logged off from Second Life, I talked to my mom and discussed my feelings about life in general. I then recounted the experience to my mom. As I did...I got an emotional surge and started crying for some reason. I realized that the Second Life user's apology could be indeed sincere, and it made me feel...rather sentimental. (Can't think of the right word as I type this.)

I asked myself, why would I be feeling like this? Why would I cry tears...tears of happiness? Tears of...gratitude? I guess it's because I rarely encounter sincere apologies in my life, especially from bullies and other mean people. I also think that sincere apologies are just rare in the world in general. Maybe at that moment, it felt special to me.

I could've worded my experiences about my positive emotional surge better, but I just wanted to share. And I assure you I'm not trolling, I really felt this.

Sounds like a good overall experience!

An emotional release can be a very good thing.

[Theresa Tennyson]

8 hours ago, belindacarson said:

You got emotional because somebody sent you an I'm? 🙄

You got shirty because someone posted on a forum?

[Hymn Celestia]

18 hours ago, Gopi Passiflora said:

I could've worded my experiences about my positive emotional surge better, but I just wanted to share. And I assure you I'm not trolling, I really felt this.

Relief and release from past hurts come at the strangest times eh?   that was a nice read, thanks for sharing.

[Bree Giffen]

Maybe you might be pregnant. Just a surge of hormones is affecting your emotional state. Nothing wrong with that. 

[PheebyKatz]

9 minutes ago, Bree Giffen said:

Maybe you might be pregnant. Just a surge of hormones is affecting your emotional state. Nothing wrong with that. 

We have pickles, if you get any strange cravings, too.

[HRH Andrew]

I really am surprised by how fragile some people are in life that even a mere hello causes someone to instinctively decide to be hostile back.

There was no need for a lesson to be taught in that way. All you had to do was say "dude, I don't do IM. Stick to local".

The fact that you went out of your way to log out, log back in as a different avatar, then search for the resident in question, just to teach him a lesson, is preposterous. In my opinion, of course.

I couldn't personally be like that. I'd imagine life to be so miserable.

BTW, not having a go at the OP, I just think the situation was blown out of proportion, when a simple "I don't do IMs" could've been used.

Edited October 28, 2022 by HRH Andrew