Why does it matter?

[Scylla Rhiadra]

12 minutes ago, JuliaFina said:

But the obvious question is if IM's bug you, why did you make an avatar that results in such things?

Wow. A THREE facepalm day! I'll have to note this one in the calendar.

My answer?

Because. I. Want. To.

No, I'm not trying to recapture my youth. There are no deep psychological motives at work here. I like playing dress-up with my avatar, and I want her to look good. That's all.

And I should be permitted to do that without having to bat off asshats who are so narcissistic that they are incapable of imagining that I'm not doing it for them.

[Ayashe Ninetails]

2 minutes ago, Fluffy Sharkfin said:

It's about time that people realized that those around them don't exist simply to fulfill their personal desires (regardless of what appearances may suggest to them) and learned to show a little self-restraint.

All the this.

There are places that exist all over the Internet where women clearly mark themselves as available. Why not go there?

I might be a bit out of my depth here since my main female avatar is not exactly beautiful or looking for male attention (well, I guess she's kinda cute for an undead gal and I certainly have seen some fiiiine undead dudes in my SL days - omg wut), but the solution seems easy enough to me.

[Persephone Emerald]

1 hour ago, entity0x said:

So yeah, god forbid some dude wants you to get on mic and talk you a bit more, instead of engaging you in your anonymous antisocial form. Just like the OP and others want to back their issues with 'toxic males in SL' with their experiences, then they should expect that those same males have a reason to request voice of those they may not think are being real.

This was how I looked in my "anonymous antisocial form" when I was walking through that Victorian Linden Homes region. Does this look like I'm "being real"? I can assure you I don't have purple skin in RL. The outfit is a bit skimpy, but if my fantasy of the day is to look like a sexy alien, that's my right in SL. I don't yell at people and demand they do voice with me to prove they aren't really a cat, a zombie, or a small child.

 

Edited April 21, 2022 by Persephone Emerald

[Scylla Rhiadra]

1 hour ago, entity0x said:

So yeah, god forbid some dude wants you to get on mic and talk you a bit more, instead of engaging you in your anonymous antisocial form. Just like the OP and others want to back their issues with 'toxic males in SL' with their experiences, then they should expect that those same males have a reason to request voice of those they may not think are being real.

This all seems so simple to me.

Treat other people as though they were people, and not something to be possessed, owned, used, or exploited. And that means respecting their choices about things like what they wear, and whether they will voice or not.

I am a very lucky woman: the men closest to me in my life -- lives, in fact, both RL and SL -- have almost all been wonderful people who have loved me, supported me, and encouraged me.

None of them have been "toxic." Somehow, they have proven more than capable of controlling their hormones and their "animal instincts." None have ever behaved like what you call "sex-hungry 'dogs,'" and none, regardless of how I've dressed, have ever treated me as (to quote you again) "a slab of meat." Somehow, they have never forgotten that I am a real person, to be valued as such, and not merely as a "hookup."

They've made a choice. They have chosen to be decent human beings, and to treat others with civility, kindness, and generosity.

You too can make a choice. You can respect the choices women make, and not judge them for it on the sole basis of your own needs, desires, and prejudices.

Or you can be a jerk.

Why not choose instead to be a decent person?

Edited April 21, 2022 by Scylla Rhiadra

[Codex Alpha]

5 minutes ago, Persephone Emerald said:

This was how I was "anonymous antisocial form" when I was walking through that Victorian Linden Homes region. Does this look like I'm "being real"? I can assure you I don't have purple skin in RL. The outfit is a bit skimpy, but if my fantasy of the day is to look like a sexy alien, that's my right in SL. I don't yell at people and demand they do voice with me to prove they aren't really a cat, a zombie, or a small child.

 

Well I wish you all the safety and happiness that can be afforded to you.

Byyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

[Ayashe Ninetails]

Well that was easy.

The moral of the story - be purple!

Cute avie, Persephone! The hair reminds me of Little Bones - the mermaid color line. Omg I shop too damn much.

[Persephone Emerald]

25 minutes ago, Fluffy Sharkfin said:

  36 minutes ago, JuliaFina said:

I want to be flawless and young and beautiful and not be bugged by anyone wanting something from me!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Not discounting the rest of your post but essentially this statement here is the crux of the issue.

The point is you should be allowed to have a flawless, young, beautiful avatar and not be bugged by anyone wanting something from you.  Sure you can cite human nature and our subconscious desires as reasons for some peoples behaviour but I'm just not buying that people are slaves to their desires and are simply unable to contain themselves.

It's about time that people realized that those around them don't exist simply to fulfill their personal desires (regardless of what appearances may suggest to them) and learned to show a little self-restraint.  Humans have learned to curb all sorts of instinctive urges over the centuries, why should their attitudes in this particular instance be considered so immutable?

Thank your for quoting part of what JuliaFina said before they went back and changed almost all their posts.

I was going to quote them too, but then decided to not accuse them of being a sock-puppet and a guy in RL.

[Persephone Emerald]

7 minutes ago, Ayashe Ninetails said:

Well that was easy.

The moral of the story - be purple!

Cute avie, Persephone! The hair reminds me of Little Bones - the mermaid color line. Omg I shop too damn much.

Thank you.  The hair is one of the group gifts from LittleBones, with a Mermaid tone. Good Catch!  😉

Edited April 21, 2022 by Persephone Emerald

[Solar Legion]

5 minutes ago, Persephone Emerald said:

Thank your for quoting part of what JuliaFina said before they went back and changed almost all their posts.

I really dislike that sort of BS ...

[Ayashe Ninetails]

Just now, Persephone Emerald said:

Thank you.  The hair is one of the group gifts from LittleBones, with a Mermaid tone. Good Catch!  😉

Girrrrrrrrl yeeees, I have all of those, too! Mermaid colors, some have neon colors, style HUD, tint HUD - those hairstyles are adorbs, too.

[Persephone Emerald]

1 hour ago, JuliaFina said:

I like IM's.

I like M&Ms.

[Silent Mistwalker]

1 hour ago, Persephone Emerald said:

I like M&Ms.

Get out of my head!

 

And stay away from MY M&Ms! 

Damn things are addictive!

[Persephone Emerald]

Just now, Silent Mistwalker said:

Get out of my head!

 

And stay away from MY M&Ms! 

Damn things are addictive!

Oh my gosh. That's my favorite flavor too!

[Silent Mistwalker]

Just now, Persephone Emerald said:

Oh my gosh. That's my favorite flavor too!

We're in trouble now.

Better make that double.

[Kalegthepsionicist]

15 hours ago, Rowan Amore said:

50% of the workforce is women yet we still handle the larger % of household duties.  Team effort?  

Women Still Handle Main Household Tasks in U.S. (gallup.com)

they are unlucky, dont worry, next life might be better.

Edited April 21, 2022 by Kalegthepsionicist

[JuliaFina]

4 hours ago, Persephone Emerald said:

 

I was going to quote them too, but then decided to not accuse them of being a sock-puppet and a guy in RL.

Need me to get on voice for you to prove I'm a rl female? Really you should not worry or care about what I am in rl. 

[JuliaFina]

4 hours ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

I want her to look good. I'm not doing it for them.

Oh like how you can play dances locally or in world, so seen by others or not, they could probably make it so only you see how you look, since you're not looking good for anyone else. Might be a nice feature to add for folks who just try to look good for themselves.

[Maryanne Solo]

4 hours ago, Solar Legion said:

They are why I walk, armed - as mentioned before.

Agreed. 1 slab of meat diced and sliced - no problemo!

[Love Zhaoying]

The "apologists" are sure differently-thinking.

[Ceka Cianci]

You guys just reminded me, I have M&M's in my jacket!! \o/

Yay!!

[Love Zhaoying]

19 minutes ago, Ceka Cianci said:

You guys just reminded me, I have M&M's in my jacket!! \o/

Yay!!

Are you sure they aren't "W&W's?"

[Ceka Cianci]

8 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said:

Are you sure they aren't "W&W's?"

Whatever they were, they were good and are gone now.

[Karl Herber]

Well I am glad I read the whole thread before chiming in, otherwise I would not have known to go Muppet. 😁  Team Cookie Monster!

I'm male in RL and my SL avatar is sometimes male, sometimes female (not an alt, I do both on the same account). My profile makes it explicitly clear that my SL gender changes and my RL gender is male (but of course none of those guys read it). 

On 4/20/2022 at 2:02 AM, Kalegthepsionicist said:

they just do a roleplay

as jerk.

Oh I need to heep this one.

Me (to creepy guy): Are you roleplaying?

Him: No

Me: Ah, right, you're a jerk in RL too, good to know... 😁

My usual response is to switch to my male avatar and tell him to read my profile, which usually is enough (and is an advantage of not using a separate account for my female self). If that doesn't put him off, then I hand him a notecard with my escorting fees and ask him to make an appointment. I'm not really an escort, but these guys aren't just looking for sex, they're looking for free sex. Never yet met one who's willing to pay for the priviledge.

 

13 hours ago, Rowan Amore said:

As I've mentioned before, I go out and about dressed as I do in the pictures I post here.  Almost ALL unwanted IMs requesting adult activities come at places other than adult.  Shopping mostly.  Also when I've been at nearly empty regions taking pictures.

That's been my experience too.  And it makes no difference whether I'm dressed provocatively or not. I could be wearing baggy jeans and a hoodie, and its exactly the same response as if I was wearing a bikini.  Only when my avatar is male, does it stop.

The payback though, is that when I'm male, NOBODY speaks to me. Not men, cos they're not interested in sex with other men. And not women, because they're then afraid that I might want sex with them (I don't). So I still go female when I'm in the mood for clubbing & chatting, and male when I'd prefer to be left alone.

 

9 hours ago, Rowan Amore said:

Do you approach a woman in RL and immediately ask her if she'd like to have sex?  Scratch that.  You probably do since you seem to think men have no self control when they see a sexy woman.  Nothing much alpha about a man who lacks control of himself.

I kinda suspect that he's never actually had a proper conversation with a woman in RL (except his mother or other female relatives). I see no evidence from his posts here that he knows how to respectfully interact with women at all.

 

7 hours ago, Katherine Heartsong said:

This is why I'm right up front with my RL gender behind the avatar, and don't exploit anyone in my interactions. A guy hits on this female redhead of mine learns really fast who he's actually dealing with.

Ditto. But they don't ever read my profile first.

Edited April 21, 2022 by Karl Herber
typo

[Fluffy Sharkfin]

6 hours ago, Persephone Emerald said:

Thank your for quoting part of what JuliaFina said before they went back and changed almost all their posts.

I was going to quote them too, but then decided to not accuse them of being a sock-puppet and a guy in RL.

Hmm, yeah that's a little frustrating and pretty inconsiderate of others that may want to read and participate in the thread, but I guess by removing some of their more contentious comments it at least suggests that their conviction to whatever opinions they were trying to express isn't completely unwavering?

[Love Zhaoying]

The "black and white" discussion of Alpha vs. others, Dom vs. sub, etc. reminds me now of someone.."special" in RL who I dated.  This person only saw "Dom vs. submissive" (full word) as options. All that mattered was if you were the "right" thing (I never found out which was "right"); there were no "shades of grey" or in-between.  They did not have a very good grasp of what most people see as normal relationships. Their actual experience seemed limited to roleplay relationships and communities.

I don't know exactly why, but.."special"..people enter my RL a lot over the years. Maybe they see me as empathetic, compassionate, non-judgmental.  It's hard to say. Anyway, this one threw me since I have never been part of a D/s community (real or roleplay).