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Friends? I have none!


KMaee
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I'm new, everytime I come on I find it so hard to make friends so I get bored and leave. 

Things I like: videogames, books, nerdy things, animals, ocean life, anime.

I still don't really know what I'm doing in game, but ill figure out eventually. 

 

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Hello KMaee, welcome to SL, it is a lot of fun for sure, you might come by Brays Place Blues club and meet some new people, if you see me there say hello and I have a nice and helpful welcome gift for you, lots of great lm's to the best stores, stores with great free gifts and a few other goodies  http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Brays Place/128/184/23

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6 hours ago, KMaee said:

I still don't really know what I'm doing in game, but ill figure out eventually. 

   Well, I've been working on figuring that out for myself for nearly a decade . . .

   That said, there's always something to do in SL, whether with others or by yourself. It's hard to give any real direction as, frankly, one will just have to figure out what works for oneself. If you can stand PMS-rock, a whole lot of brainless drivel and illiterate pickup lines, there's clubbing - not my cup of tea, but perhaps you'll have more luck with it? Personally I've found I make most of my friends through pursuing my own interests, primarily SL photography, and I hear there's a lot of communities for things like sailing / vehicles and such like. 

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10 hours ago, Orwar said:

   Well, I've been working on figuring that out for myself for nearly a decade . . .

   That said, there's always something to do in SL, whether with others or by yourself. It's hard to give any real direction as, frankly, one will just have to figure out what works for oneself. If you can stand PMS-rock, a whole lot of brainless drivel and illiterate pickup lines, there's clubbing - not my cup of tea, but perhaps you'll have more luck with it? Personally I've found I make most of my friends through pursuing my own interests, primarily SL photography, and I hear there's a lot of communities for things like sailing / vehicles and such like. 

i think often we feel lost 'cause the people game sucks

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20 hours ago, KMaee said:

I'm new, everytime I come on I find it so hard to make friends so I get bored and leave. 

Things I like: videogames, books, nerdy things, animals, ocean life, anime.

I still don't really know what I'm doing in game, but ill figure out eventually. 

 

Hi! I too have been having a hard time making friends even to the point where I ended up leaving SL numerous times. And I love videosgames, books, anime, and all things nerdy too! :D 

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if you like to listen to the performing arts, theres lots of very fantastic and talented artists here at SL to check out, also dont forget about the karaoke, that can be lots of fun as well! Happy meandering and best wishes! 🙂

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  • 2 weeks later...
On 7/25/2020 at 6:41 PM, Racheal Rexen said:

Join a group you like,  become a regular at a club,  try RP,  get a job in SL, all great ways to make friends in SL

Wonderful advice!!! And stop "trying" to make friends. It will happen naturally!!!

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6 hours ago, Bagnu said:

stop "trying" to make friends. It will happen naturally!!!

Yes this, find something you like doing and do it, along the way you will meet great people.

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On 7/24/2020 at 9:23 PM, KMaee said:

Things I like: videogames, books, nerdy things, animals, ocean life, anime.

 

These two jumped out at me, not because I share the same interests but because it reminds me that there is a thriving mer-folk community in SL, so if you've ever thought about being a mermaid you could reach out to them. There are some awesome underwater builds to explore, and you can always, like Ariel, grow legs for those inconvenient trips back up to dry land.

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On 7/24/2020 at 10:23 PM, KMaee said:

[...] I find it so hard to make friends so I get bored and leave [...]

Making friends is hard; in some ways it should be (“what we obtain too cheap, we esteem too lightly; ’tis dearness only...”). But trying is easy; depending on where you go, you’ll barely need to lift a finger to get friendship requests—either actual or verbal ones—and may even afford being selective.

What it requires, more than effort, is patience. If you get bored and leave within 5 minutes, you’re unconsciously setting the filter for the ‘easy come, easy go’ variety. Even if you allow the time to verify who does share your interests, that doesn’t guarantee a friendship: I’ve met a lot of people who literally seem a clone of mine but there’s no spark, and others who hardly share any with me, yet we can’t wait to meet again and just have a lot of fun. And that’s something you will only see in time, not ticking checkboxes off a ‘common hobbies’ list on day one; for sure it can help to have some, but we’re talking friends, not groups or associations.

 

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I still don't really know what I'm doing in game, but ill figure out eventually.

Word of advice? Do figure it, independently of friendship-making, and perhaps even before it. If literally your only reason to log in is to spend time with friends and sometimes there’s none online, you’ll log off; and when they log in and you’re offline, they’ll do something else. The more this happens, the less they’ll consider you an option, let alone a preference, which in turn will make the friendship less likely to hold, or even happen in the first place. The best friendships are those who only add to what you already are/have, rather than being your sole support 😉

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  • 2 weeks later...

Depends on your interest too some meet up at games/rp and events, other times they are introduced by another or like myself having an argument about something stupid then laughing about how stupid it was and then dancing very badly makes everything better 🥳

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And speak to the whole group around you in local chat, with a bright Hello everyone.  You may already do this, and just keep it up.  If you shine, others notice.  

Also, in my view, conversations, even between close friends, are not always about directional arrows from me to you and you to me, sharing things about ourselves; it is also about directional arrows going out in a novel directions.  You land on cool sim with a few people around, and you say Hi to everyone and on one responds.  But you turn your bright interests around you and might say, Omg i LOVE these trees.  And don't be surprised if someone says, I do too!  

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