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Female Winslet

Making security orbs fun!

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It seems pretty clear that security orbs pose some challenges. I think in the future they will face some more concrete limitations than they do now. Part of the issue probably stems from the fact that right now they send messages to users that can often be downright hostile. 

I was thinking that one way to make them a little less annoying would be to find ways of making them funny! And, if nothing else, discussing that might be a way to have a fun laugh.

It seems to me that they would be funnier if they comply with LL policy than if they don’t, and that includes the requirement to give an adequate warning. I’m thinking maybe the Darth Vader security orb, for example. 

Warning message: “You have entered space controlled by the Empire, rebel scum. If you do not leave in 60 seconds, we shall remove you. Don’t underestimate the power of the dark side of The Force!”

Ejection message: “*FORCE PUSH* All too easy.”

Possibly the secure government facility security orb (with thanks to those who have suggested the concept of an air defense security orb). 

Warning message: “You have entered a secure government facility. Use of deadly force is permitted in this area. You will come under attack from our security forces if you do not leave in 60 seconds.”

Ejection message: “Security forces commence fire!”

Maybe the Magrathean security orb?

Warning message: “We are pleased by your interest in our services. We assure you that when this location is opened for business, announcements shall be made in all of the most fashionable travel magazines. Until then, this location is closed. Please leave. Within 60 seconds.”

Ejection message: “It is most gratifying that your enthusiasm for our services continues unabated. And so, we would like to assure you that the guided missiles currently ejecting you from this location are part of a special service we extend to all of our most enthusiastic clients. The fully armed nuclear warheads are, of course, merely a courtesy detail. We look forward to your custom in future lives. Thank you.”

What else?

Hmmmmm.... to create or not to create. 

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It goes against one of the most fundamental SL (and internet) rules though: never miss an opportunity to be rude! :P

But since I'm not much into following such rules, here's the message I used to sue for my security orbs. NOt anymore sadly - seems the ones I'm using now won't allow me to set custom messages:

Quote

This is a private home so please leave as quickly as possible. There are other houses around here available for rent though. Please look for houses with red and white “For rent” signs and click on that sign for more info.

I don't think I ever got a renter this way but I thought it was worth a try. ;)

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I've considered an automated parking lot attendant.

"Welcome to our mall. Parking is free while shopping here."

"Hello. We see that you're no longer shopping in our mall. Please remove your vehicle. Thank you."

"We're glad you're here.  You've now been here for more than fifteen minutes without buying anything. Can't find anything to buy? We suggest ...."

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"hi, I would eject you after 15 seconds, but I won't as the Eject means you will end up on my neighbour's parcel, who has a ginormous dog that bites everyone"

"hi, don't mind the bees buzzing you ok. They are just making honey and you are ever so sweet to want to feed them"

"hi, if you wondering why that big eyeball is staring at you, don't worry ok. Its just broadcasting to a public website,what you are doing in my house"

"hi, next time you come in my house can you use the riffraff servants entrance please"

"hi, my neighbour always leaves their door unlocked. So you can go and sleep in their bed if you want. Seems their bed is really comfy as lots of other people get in it"

 

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On 5/11/2019 at 7:01 PM, Female Winslet said:

Part of the issue probably stems from the fact that right now they send messages to users that can often be downright hostile. 

Im using my orb just to count visitors and nothing else, but what i also could do, if i would need to warn or kick anyone, is to change the warning and eject message by myself.
So, its just up to the orb owner to set up a funny message.

On 5/13/2019 at 4:57 AM, animats said:

"We're glad you're here.  You've now been here for more than fifteen minutes without buying anything. Can't find anything to buy? We suggest ...."

That sounds more like what a greeter/reminder does. Orbs (at least the ones i know) just have warning times from 0-60 seconds.

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