It happened again

[ImaTest1488314069]

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Fennal Ferryhill wrote:

:SNIP:

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Snip being mine, of course.

While I may understand your feelings, to some degree, and understand why you felt the need to address someone personally elsewhere, to some degree, you really should heed your own advice. You're telling others what they need to do, or not to, what they need to realize, or not realize, how they need to act, or not act. Need I really go on?

Aside from that, and this is going to sound strange coming from someone who is extremely long winded, please format your replies. I get tired of reading and/or lose my place, when reading a huge wall of text with no break. Feel free to use my flaws as fodder if you so wish, I don't mind. I'm human, I'm flawed. Just please take into account everyone else has to read what you say. I don't mind if it's 50 paragraphs long. As long as they're actually paragraphs, and not one giant one.

Yes, of all the things to be critical of in this thread, I chose the wall of text. That should show you how insignificant I think the original problem-on either end-actually is.

 

ETA: hmm, looks like the emoticons turned my s n i p into n i p

wonder if they'll do that in rl for me

[KarmelDoll]

wow, this is some story. sorry folks but what is wrong if Fennal wants as she says "kindness" I have read all these post about this. a bit confused on some of it. but one thing i notice about debate versus a post response, is that they have nothing in common. on other games i played on i seen people argue over silly things. this is silly in my opinion. i too have been given sharp answers to post I've made on game sites. it can sting and if it didn't hurt we wouldn't be real. i don't think anyone wants to go to a forum, open up and then be shot down with a mean response. maybe Fennal should have kept it to herself, but maybe not. i know if i got a rude response i wouldn't like it. why can't she be as privileged to seek things to run with peace as the rest of you want your comments to be heard. forums are for posting in a manner in which we all can commune in a way to assist one another. how is a mean response helping anyone. i don't see anything the matter with talking to him inworld if that is how she wanted to air her dislikes to him. i feel sorry so many of you treat Fennal as the wrong party here. i'm going to im her and show someone cares. i hope she answers me. but that would be stalking according to the post i read i'm fairly new here, but I've been around other worlds. so don't come after me also. i'm on the side of angels.

[Ren Toxx]

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Malanya wrote: @

Ren, why should someone be followed in world aand whine about a forum post? If someone did that to me I would mute that person right after I saw their IM was a complaint. PM if you have an issue and heck yes there is a difference between the forums and in world I am sure most people don't want to be harassed by a sore butt forum poster they don't know.

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Malanya, it seems to me that what would really bother you (as would many others, including me, of course) is the 'whining' thing... not that it's done through a forum PM or an in-world IM.

Ask yourself this: if someone IM'd you in-world complimenting one of your forum posts, saying that it's well thought, reasoned, informative, nice or whatever... would you take umbrage at it just because the person chose to tell you so in-world?

To be honest, I really don't understand why such a big deal is being made over the choice of medium; I would think that the really sad part is that the issue between Gadget and Fennal has escalated beyond a mere civil disagreement and into a multi-user exchange of heavy accusations, thinly (if at all) veiled insults and whatnot.

[Malanya]

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Fennal Ferryhill wrote:

I will never agree with you. You go on and on about me contacting him. I contacted him once. Was polite about it. There is no rule to say I have to be forced to speak to someone in forum. Geez how crazy for you to think there is only one way in which I can address someone. AGAIN! What kind of world is this if I can't go to someone and speak my feelings. Free world. What would the world be if we all were cowards as you imply I should be. If everyone took bull there would be no kindness left. This isn't about forums rules. This is about rudeness..plain and simple. Why is it so hard for others to show human kindness? You act yourself as if your being attacked. So it goes on and on. ..................................

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I previously said I wouldn't reply to you, but you seem to want to get a point across to me, so here goes:

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Fennal Ferryhill wrote:

I will never agree with you

You don't have to agree with me, I don't expect you to and why shouldn't that be fine?

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You go on and on about me contacting him.

I have not gone on and on about it.

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There is no rule to say I have to be forced to speak to someone in forum

no there is not a "rule" no one forced you to reply in the forum but someone has the right to not want to be bothered with forum complaints in world. I guess it's not clear why there are PM and Block options here in the forum. It is for situations like this. Keep the dispute here and private if you wish.

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Geez how crazy for you to think there is only one way in which I can address someone. AGAIN! What kind of world is this if I can't go to someone and speak my feelings. Free world.

You can think I am crazy if you choose, that's up to you. There is a way to contact a person privately in the forum without bothering their Second Life enjoyment, this is the type of world (SL) where you can do what you want, be what you want, choose what you want, I don't compare SL to RL sorry. People have the right here to ignore users for any reason as you nor I are the judge of how a person wants to spend time here or who they want to interact with.

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 What would the world be if we all were cowards as you imply I should be. If everyone took bull there would be no kindness left.

I did not say you were a coward, you can change my words from my posts, I really don't mind as I don't take this forum as an important part of my life. I come to SL for enjoyment, creative outlet and to spend time with those I care about, I do have a very real life and don't compare the forum as how the world shows kindness to others. It's a place for discussion, I don't endorse rude behavior but I can see when someone starts drama over nothing. Move on and enjoy your time here.

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If everyone took bull there would be no kindness left. This isn't about forums rules. This is about rudeness..plain and simple. Why is it so hard for others to show human kindness? You act yourself as if your being attacked. So it goes on and on

I don't look at the forum the way you do. You may have taken this to a personal level and should step back and wonder why it affects you so much. Foe someone that says they want kindness they are not rude, etc, you seem to have come across that way in your posts and changing peoples words around. I don't find it hard to show kindness at all, Please read my first post to you and then your reply and see how you got rude from me and kindness from you ( yeah I don't care much for the devil, never met him actually) I don't feel personally attacked, if you feel I am acting that way, that's fine too. I hope this has cleared up anything you needed for me to clarify from my posts. You should really try and enjoy your SL and if the forum gets to you on that level, maybe take a break from it

edit answers seemed to blend with quotes

 

[Malanya]

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Ren Toxx wrote:

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Malanya wrote: @

Ren, why should someone be followed in world aand whine about a forum post? If someone did that to me I would mute that person right after I saw their IM was a complaint. PM if you have an issue and heck yes there is a difference between the forums and in world I am sure most people don't want to be harassed by a sore butt forum poster they don't know.

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Malanya, it seems to me that what would really bother you (as would many others, including me, of course) is the 

'whining'

thing...

not

that it's done through a forum PM or an in-world IM.

Ask yourself this: if someone IM'd you in-world complimenting one of your forum posts, saying that it's well thought, reasoned, informative, nice or whatever... would you take umbrage at it just because the person chose to tell you so in-world?

To be honest, I really don't understand why such a big deal is being made over the choice of medium; I would think that the really sad part is that the issue between Gadget and Fenna

l has escalated beyond a mere civil disagreement and into a multi-user exchange of heavy accusations, thinly (if at all) veiled insults and whatnot.

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Actually Ren, I would not like to be contacted by anyone on the forum for a complaint or compliment unless we have became friends. It's not the whining so much as the way of contact when there are measures to privately IM someone here in the forum. I am a private person in world and wouldn't like the forum to spill over there unless I said "please feel free to contact me in world" for such and such reason.

Everyone has their own view and personal choice and that's fine, but when someone else's choice is in conflict with someones likes and dislikes it should be respected. I don't feel anyone's beliefs should be pushed on others and I am not saying that people who don't mind the in world contact are wrong. It's personal choice. I don't feel that Gadget had ill intent when this thread was posted, it was a discussion and he didn't give many details, was just straight o the point. Someone else brought all the drama to the table because of their belief not being parallel with others.

[Celestiall Nightfire]

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Fennal Ferryhill wrote:

 IF I'm rude..think about it? I was treated rudely by many. I only ask for kindness

.

What a world we live in today when others have this kind of attitude when one only desires kindness. And to think I'm supposed to stand and take it. NOT!!!

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Fennal, let me see if I understand this.  Your above description of the reason why you were rude, is that you feel others were rude to you first, correct?    That's your justification?  

 

Hmm, so let me ask this:   How's it working out for you?  I mean, the replying with rudeness in response, to perceived rudeness.  Because, to me, it does not appear to have been a very successful technique.

[Syo Emerald]

This is all about the wall of text you posted yesterday and deleted it after she told you its a wall of text? (This one here is a wall of text too).

[Malanya]

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Fennal Ferryhill wrote:

To you it seems we got personal and your greatly upset enough to keep posting. I want to say the right thing to you. But I don't want to seem like I'm giving up on my true feelings. A man posted a reply to me. I found it out of context. I choose to contact. Seems many think that was crossing the line and made me a stalker. I didn't feel as that is what I was doing. I only wish to understand his remark and approached him ready to listen. But I gathered right off he wasn't any different in private than he was in my public post. I wanted to find something to like about the guy. Sure, to some I was being overly sensitive. Sometimes we get that way in life. We fall down, we are human. In all the years I've been on SL, I have only used the post maybe twice before. I had no knowledge of what PM was. And yes I admit I hadn't read the TOS rules. But most can't say they have. That aside does not mean I'm ignorant. I just never had much need for the forums. Not until I felt excitement about the recent changes and wished to voice them. I was feeling happy at an unhappy time. (lost my mother to cancer..grief big time..only to find out I might have the same) I know that is no excuse. But when life hands you lemons you can tend to be overly sensitive at given times in life. I try to be a good person. IF God takes me home, I hope to make some difference in life. I've always showed love and kindness to others unless attacked. Most of us have a  defend mode. It's human. I may sound like a preacher. But I want to believe people are generally still decent. I'm ashamed it got this far. I've been told I write books. I am a writer after all. LOL Not necessarily a bad thing. I'm not sorry I seeked justice. But I'm sorry to you if my hurt made me turn ugly as well. I see in defending myself it sparked an all out emotional war. I heard each of you and thanks for the advice. Next time, I'm going to remember to do what I've done so many times before anyhow...ignore the rude ones and go about my business. I allowed my personal stress to mix with the reply. For you, I'm sorry for the devil referral. I was in defense mode. I'm sure your a likable nice gal. Peace be with you and we are cool with it.

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I am not upset at all. I was posting my opinion and nothing more. I replied to you again after I said I would not (I did not want to keep going back and forth) but not to keep going on and on. You don't have to give up your feelings, just realize that others may not feel the same way as you and we all can agree to disagree. I am sorry you had a rough time and yes it can make people overly sensitive. Unless I really feel I have something to say, I will ignore posts or replies that I find rude but I don't take it personally. None of us are perfect and we are all guilty at one time or another of putting personal feelings in a post. Move past this and enjoy your time here.

[Celestiall Nightfire]

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Fennal Ferryhill wrote:

You know your right. Hope this helps others. I had no idea I was coming across as rude myself. I was too busy defending myself as people can easily be sidetracked when in this frame of mind. I see in the many post others did likewise. One injustice and all goes wild. I can't apologize for the other only myself. I hope people can show me some forgiveness. I'm human. But no one is to throw the first stone. ...some of you know this verse. Lets put this one to the archives as I'm finished. And I do enjoy my SL by the way. I've had wonderful times here and shared beautiful memories with many wonderful people. Over and Out

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I'm quoting you.  As your above post is a good one. 

~ Cheers

(Also, just an aside:  I rather like your alliterative name.  :  )

[Awe Thor]

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Fennal Ferryhill wrote:

I can read a text book of 3 pages in seconds.

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Are you also claiming to be the world's tallest dwarf?

Awe . . . wonders what complex subject requires a text book of more than 2 pages.

[Bronxcheer]

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KarmelDoll wrote:

wow, this is some story. sorry folks but what is wrong if Fennal wants as she says "kindness" I have read all these post about this. a bit confused on some of it. but one thing i notice about debate versus a post response, is that they have nothing in common. on other games i played on i seen people argue over silly things. this is silly in my opinion. i too have been given sharp answers to post I've made on game sites. it can sting and if it didn't hurt we wouldn't be real. i don't think anyone wants to go to a forum, open up and then be shot down with a mean response. maybe Fennal should have kept it to herself, but maybe not. i know if i got a rude response i wouldn't like it. why can't she be as privileged to seek things to run with peace as the rest of you want your comments to be heard. forums are for posting in a manner in which we all can commune in a way to assist one another. how is a mean response helping anyone. i don't see anything the matter with talking to him inworld if that is how she wanted to air her dislikes to him. i feel sorry so many of you treat Fennal as the wrong party here. i'm going to im her and show someone cares. i hope she answers me. but that would be stalking according to the post i read i'm fairly new here, but I've been around other worlds. so don't come after me also. i'm on the side of angels.

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Obvious alt is obvious.

[FairuzaB]

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Gadget Portal wrote:

It's not the first time LL has been wrong. What happens on the forums stays on the forums.

Every other online community respects that

, this one should too.

 

That said, there has been no personal dispute or disagreement. That would require the situation be personal. This was harassment over a non-personal forum post.

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Every other online forum?  Not the ones I have used.  I have played many mmrpg's over the years from Asheron's call, EQ, WoW & LOTRO and every one of them have had **bleep** talkers that post on forums that carry over in world!   I dont think there are any rules that anyone follows.  Especially player vs player, that stuff can get nasty!   Respect and gaming does not go hand in hand, at least in my experience.  Which is too bad because sometimes it makes it hard to even want to play. 

[Syo Emerald]

She hasn't told you to die....but what ever, guess it doesn't matter to explain now that this thing has already filled six pages.

 

[Perrie Juran]

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Gadget Portal wrote:

So, there I was, minding my business, working on a script, when I get this incoming IM alert.

My autoresponse goes off, and there's a long pause.

Then I get the IM. Apparently this person didn't like one of my forum posts (what else is new?), and they decided it bothered them so much, they would look me up in-world and IM me in order to tell me how furious they are and how rude I am and yadda yadda, blah blah blah.

I didn't really pay attention- I was working on a script.

But how crazy are people that they have to actually take the time to look someone up in-world, and go on a rant in IMs over a forum post?

Maybe it's my gaming background, but where I come from, general discussion nonsense and trolling never carried into the game. The two mediums didn't overlap except on realm/group recruitment forums. Why does that seem to happen here in SL?

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Dang, I need to stop spending time In World and more time in the Forum.  I feel like I am late to the party.

First off, I would love to see the Chat Log.  I wonder in Fennel is man or woman or furry enough (sorry Fennel that I don't know which you are) to give you permission to post it?

That said, I have been contacted In World also, but never by someone who was 'furious' with me.  While I would not feel it to be bad form to touch base with someone In World, "Can we talk," I would consider it bad form to go off on a rant.  If they were ranting I'd be telling them to take it to PM here and if they didn't desist In World I'd be using the Mute button.

There are no hard fast laws governing Netiquette, but there are many generally accepted Maxims, for instance the (mis)use of ALL CAPS. 

"....Etiquette....is the set of written and unwritten rules of conduct that make social interactions run more smoothly."

Still, people are going to do what people are going to do and sometimes with no consideration for others or the consequences.

 

just my two lindens worth

[Paul Hexem]

Wow, did this whole thing escalate out of control.

 

I just wanted to discuss the validity of taking a random (not personal or directed or 'looking for') post quoting an Internet meme and bringing it in-world.

[Perrie Juran]

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FairuzaB wrote:

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Gadget Portal wrote:

It's not the first time LL has been wrong. What happens on the forums stays on the forums.

Every other online community respects that

, this one should too.

 

That said, there has been no personal dispute or disagreement. That would require the situation be personal. This was harassment over a non-personal forum post.

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Every other online forum?  Not the ones I have used.  I have played many mmrpg's over the years from Asheron's call, EQ, WoW & LOTRO and every one of them have had **bleep** talkers that post on forums that carry over in world!   I dont think there are any rules that anyone follows.  Especially player vs player, that stuff can get nasty!   Respect and gaming does not go hand in hand, at least in my experience.  Which is too bad because sometimes it makes it hard to even want to play. 

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Had it occurred to you that the people you get along with and that you enjoy interacting or playing with are the people who respect this "unwritten" rule?

A rude minority can ruin the fun for everyone.

[Paul Hexem]

Actually Perrie, after the first couple messages, it did turn polite and civil.

 

But I didn't want this thread to be about anyone specific anyway, and I didn't want it to be about what was specifically said, either.

[Paul Hexem]

I've played most of those MMOs myself. PvP and realm forums often carried over into the game, just as the Make Friends or Inworld Employment ones would here, but I never experienced General Discussion banter and trolling carrying over, ever.

[Ceka Cianci]

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Gadget Portal wrote:

Wow, did this whole thing escalate out of control.

 

I just wanted to discuss the validity of taking a random (not personal or directed or 'looking for') post quoting an Internet meme and bringing it in-world.

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i don't have too much problem with it unless they feel like being harrassing..

if they want to talk thats fine..but bring angry stuff from the forum at me..

i don't  deal with it..

i go in world to relax..i come here to communicate with the community of users..

if someone wants to bring an angry unsettling IM to me while i'm relaxing in my land in sl..depending on how bad it is?

that will determine if it gets AR'd or not for harrassment and them muted..

i've had to do it one time..but that person was pretty insulting..

i would do the same if someone was that way in world as well..

if someone wants the chit chat..i love gabbing..if they want to be disrespectful..i won't have it in wolrd when i'm in my escape..that's all there is to it..

 

someone would be better off IMing me in the forums anyways..because by the time i log in  to inworld..it will be so long that it would probably be washed out from other IM's and group notices..i don't go in like i used to lol

 

 

[Tex Monday]

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Malanya wrote

Actually Ren, I would not like to be contacted by anyone on the forum for a complaint or compliment unless we have became friends. It's not the whining so much as the way of contact when there are measures to privately IM someone here in the forum. I am a private person in world and wouldn't like the forum to spill over there unless I said "please feel free to contact me in world" for such and such reason.

 

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I have only contacted someone from the forums inworld once...and that was to compliment her on her excellent posts. We carried on a short conversation and that was it. She seemed ok with it and I apologized for disturbing her in the first place.  I would also be ok, I think, if someone contacted me to express an opinion on something I did. I think that if I didn't like it, I would respectfully tell them so and then stop talking. That's just me though...I don't think I would contact someone to tell them that I didn't like what was said here. ..although, thre are people who are on my sh*t list....:matte-motes-sunglasses-3:

I wonder .... the blocking another user option is for on the forums.....

when you find it, Malanya, please tell me how to do it....PLEASE!!! :matte-motes-sunglasses-3:

 

[Malanya]

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Tex Monday wrote:

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Malanya wrote

Actually Ren, I would not like to be contacted by anyone on the forum for a complaint or compliment unless we have became friends. It's not the whining so much as the way of contact when there are measures to privately IM someone here in the forum. I am a private person in world and wouldn't like the forum to spill over there unless I said "please feel free to contact me in world" for such and such reason.

 

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I have only contacted someone from the forums inworld once...and that was to compliment her on her excellent post. We carried on a short conversation and that was it. She seemed ok with it. I would also be ok, I think, if someone contacted me to express an opinion on something I did. I think that if I didn't like it, I would respectfully tell them so and then stop talking. That's just me though...I don't think I would contact someone to tell them that I didn't like what was said here. ..although, thre are people who are on my sh*t list....:matte-motes-sunglasses-3:

I wonder .... the blocking another user option is for on the forums.....

when you find it, Malanya, please tell me how to do it....PLEASE!!! :matte-motes-sunglasses-3:

 

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It's just my personal preference but what's right for one isn't right for another The block button is for PM's under the poster's profile where you send a PM..... my oops for sounding like it was a block poster button! lol

[Madelaine McMasters]

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Tex Monday wrote:

I would also be ok, I think, if someone contacted me to express an opinion on something I did. I think that if I didn't like it, I would respectfully tell them so and then stop talking. That's just me though...I don't think I would contact someone to tell them that I didn't like what was said here. ..although, thre are people who are on my sh*t list....:matte-motes-sunglasses-3:

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Well, I know it would be okay with you since I once tapped your shoulder in world to comment on forum business and you were a peach, even when I threatened to see if I could peeve you.

Now people will be flooding you with IMs and you can blame me. But if you do blame me, I win!

;-)

[Tex Monday]

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Madelaine McMasters wrote:

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Tex Monday wrote:

I would also be ok, I think, if someone contacted me to express an opinion on something I did. I think that if I didn't like it, I would respectfully tell them so and then stop talking. That's just me though...I don't think I would contact someone to tell them that I didn't like what was said here. ..although, thre are people who are on my sh*t list....:matte-motes-sunglasses-3:

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Well, I know it would be okay with you since I once tapped your shoulder in world to comment on forum business and you were a peach, even when I threatened to see if I could peeve you.

Now people will be flooding you with IMs and you can blame me. But if you do blame me, I win!

;-)

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:matte-motes-shocked: (thanks for the compliment!!)

Well if they do, I have a whole new forum post all ready to go.

"These people won't leave me alone!!!"

:matte-motes-sunglasses-3:

 

[Ren Toxx]

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Gadget Portal wrote:

Wow, did this whole thing escalate out of control.

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Amen.

[Perrie Juran]

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Gadget Portal wrote:

Actually Perrie, after the first couple messages, it did turn polite and civil.

 

But I didn't want this thread to be about anyone specific anyway, and I didn't want it to be about what was specifically said, either.

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I am glad to hear that it did.