No Slex = Less friends?

[Sephina Frostbite]

Thank you for the advice! I thought I would be set on fire if I went into a gay club, I know men do if they go in lesbians ones.. From what I have seen.

[Syo Emerald]

---

Sephina Frostbite wrote:

Thank you for the advice! I thought I would be set on fire if I went into a gay club, I know men do if they go in lesbians ones.. From what I have seen.

---

Just make sure they don't have a rule about what gender is allowed. Lesbian or other girls clubs often have the "women only" rule, because they don't want to get hit on from guys and party in peace...so that could be an option for you too. I've always made good experiance with those hangouts and clubs.

[Lucretia Brandenburg]

Nope, some (the adult rated sex sort of clubs) are funny about female avatars, but as for the rest - some of the best hosts/club managers and owners of gay venues in SL are women. Gay men and Lesbians really don't have all that much in common culturally, from what I've seen. Though that's my personal observation, I'm sure others will feel free to chime in on that. Descrimination and their struggle for human rights pulls them together politically.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yLJulFeAFyk

For that matter, think about some of the biggest (albeit stereotypical) music icons people assoicate with gay men ... Judy Garland, Barbra Streisand, Liza Minelli, Julie Andrews, Eartha Kitt, Nina Simone, Bette Midler, Cher, Donna Summer, Gloria Gaynor, Diana Ross, Cyndi Lauper, Grace Jones, Madonna, Whitney Houston, Dolly Parton, Katy Perry, Pink, Lady Gaga ... all women. I have gay friends in SL and RL who jokingly say uh oh, do they have to turn in their gay ID card if they don't like Cher or Madonna?

  See about joining GayMeetingPoint group, or Gay Events Gridwide. Feel free to IM me inworld for recommendations of specific clubs and DJs.

[Lucretia Brandenburg]

I thought about suggesting Lesbian clubs but I'm going on the premise that Seph might like to dress hot and flirt with men. Dressing hot and flirting in a Lesbian club is likely going to have people assuming she's a Lesbian or interested in exploring that, not a bad thing but if she's not interested in that, it might send mixed messages.

[Caitlin Tobias]

---

Gadget Portal wrote:

I just looked at your feed, and I gotta echo the last few posts. It's your own fault.

---

I second that. The snapshots on your profile-feed, I am adressing the OP - not Gadget- , are sending out a message of 'slex' and your participating in it. All fine and dandy, you do as you please.

The other thing, also mentioned in another reply, why the heck would you announce your decision to your 'friends'? It seems a private decision to me.

I am in SL for well over 5 years and never, ever, announced or discussed my online sexlife or lack thereof to friends. I sense a need for drama in here. So,  carry on.

[Lucretia Brandenburg]

My impression from the OP is that most of those dumping her like a hot potato are "friends with benefits" or why dump her because they won't be getting a piece of the cookie any more? While say, sending out a group announcement or posting it on adboards would be a bit much, I don't think letting her friends know she's not interesting in bumping pixels anymore constitutes a desire for drama, especially if those friends are used to sticking their hand in the cookie jar ... sort of a warning, get away from that, or the lid is going to smash your fingers.

[Caitlin Tobias]

---

Lucretia Brandenburg wrote:

My impression from the OP is that most of those dumping her like a hot potato are "friends with benefits" or why dump her because they won't be getting a piece of the cookie any more? While say, sending out a group announcement or posting it on adboards would be a bit much, I don't think letting her friends know she's not interesting in bumping pixels anymore constitutes a desire for drama, especially if those friends are used to sticking their hand in the cookie jar ... sort of a warning, get away from that, or the lid is going to smash your fingers.

---

OK, let me put it this way then: this whole OP is about the dramaz. Losing 'friends'over an  'announcement' or how you want to call it and then wonder wtf happened?

But hey, that could be just me eh?

[Tamara Artis]

Dress sexy more then you ever did, and don't let anyone near! Make them tear their SL heads apart lol

For real, if your sl friends defriend you because of that then all I can say is that you made some really really wrong moves when approaching people.

[Morgann Matova]

---

Sephina Frostbite wrote:

---

Poenald Palen wrote:

Slex was short for SL Exchange....this thread is not about commerce? Hhhm. Hey, people to chat with on SL? A dime a dozen. literally it must cost about a dime of electricity to chat to 12 people for a while! Talk is cheap, seriously....it doesn't cost much...right?

---

Lol I have heard other people use that word for sex but now that I know better Ill just have to come up with another catchy way of saying it. Thanks for the information.

---

I am just glad that I wasn't the only one that was slightly confused w/ remembering SLEx was the SL Exchange. Made the OP take on a comical meaning LOL!

[Morgann Matova]

Not sure whats going on, part of my reply was eaten. 3 edits later, I can't alter the post.

OP, you arent alone. I enjoy hunts, dancing/contests, music, building (relearning after my time away) and shopping. Most of it I do alone, since the majority of my friends no longer log in and I was away from over  2 years myself. I just recently returned, otherwise I'd have a ton of landmarks/locations for you to check out. I am still sorting through them and discovering what still exists.

Even before I left, I was considered pratically a nun since I wasn't promiscuous in SL. Have I ever done the animated deed? Yep. Interesting way to suppliment a LDR. But now, I am happily living with the man of my dreams and will always choose the real deal over the virtual.

 

Feel free to shoot me an IM.

[Six Igaly]

Back in 2006 when I first joined SL I did the Slex thing too. And I thought it was hilarious. Pushing a lot of buttons that came with the (first beta at the time) excite thingy to finally shoot my particles. It turned me on so much that in the meanwhile I was chatting with other friends in IM about everything except Slex. 

Then when I created my current AV I decided from day one to not do that again. No genitals! Even created a group then and the first 2 years I was always wearing this tag saying 'Dickless for ever'. That worked! Well, in a way it did/does ( I still use it on occasion ). You see, what happens is this. You attract people that become friends first, then to find out they only do their best to be your friend JUST because they think (or took a bet with themselves and/or friends) they can make you wearing a wiener again and do all wiener stuff with it. Finally they leave (so far they all did) since they can't 'win'.

Other then that, I have enough friends to feel comfortable with and about all of them are not in the Slex business. Except one. We are friends just because I am not in Slex. Slexers also want to talk about cupcakes and trimming grass at times.

[SLtesterL2]

Remember it's the quality of friends that matter and not the quantity. Just see it this way, the people who de-friended you did you the favor of figuring out which of the people on your list are the ACTUAL friends. Though it may seem that alot of users come to SL looking for hanky-panky and pixel bumping (which is true), a good number also come into this world to form good relationships. Just find those people, be yourself, and you'll have a great time! =]

[Saraya Starr]

---

Caitlin Tobias wrote:

---

Lucretia Brandenburg wrote:

My impression from the OP is that most of those dumping her like a hot potato are "friends with benefits" or why dump her because they won't be getting a piece of the cookie any more? While say, sending out a group announcement or posting it on adboards would be a bit much, I don't think letting her friends know she's not interesting in bumping pixels anymore constitutes a desire for drama, especially if those friends are used to sticking their hand in the cookie jar ... sort of a warning, get away from that, or the lid is going to smash your fingers.

---

OK, let me put it this way then: this whole OP is about the dramaz. Losing 'friends'over an  'announcement' or how you want to call it and then wonder wtf happened?

But hey, that could be just me eh?

---

Ok, I wasn't going to post in this thread, but my thoughts exactly, Caitlin.  I have thought from the OP's first post that this is all about the drama.  For the life of me, I cannot see why you (OP) even felt the need to come post about this at all.

 

[Alicia Sautereau]

What`s the point of pixel sex as you still need to do all the work your self?

[Suspiria Finucane]

---

Teagan Tobias wrote:

---

Suspiria Finucane wrote:

---

Staralien wrote:

People are often amazed when they find out I have never had Slex. I guess it is so common, every one but me is doing it...or so I thought.

---

 

I would bet there's more people than you realize who don't have pixel sex. Most people I know don't need it at all. To each their own of course but no thanks for me.

---

I agree, I don't need it, if fact I will go one further and add, I just don't understand it in a virtual world. There must be something to it because of all that (so I hear) do it, but I just don't get it. (pun? could be.)

---

Good pun hehe  It doesn't make any sense to me either. Like watching cartoons I guess. :matte-motes-evil-invert:

[Nova Convair]

Depends on what you think "Friends" are.

The number of friends will not change. The number of slex partners on your - so called - friends list will of course change - what did you expect?

[jwenting]

---

Gadget Portal wrote:

It doesn't matter what you do I SL, be it Slex or building or land baron-ing or DJing or roleplay, if you suddenly start doing it less, you'll have people unfriend you.

 

I clear my list pretty regularly. Old scripting clients, former DJ contacts, sim managers, RP people, etc. Once I'm to the point of rarely or never interacting with them, they're just taking up space on my screen.

---

correct. A lot of people are singleminded and will unfriend you if you no longer are interested in that one thing they're interested in.

Slex (nice one, have to remember it) doesn't interest me much. Tried it, didn't do anything for it, no longer care. Snuggling up to someone and chatting, yay. But doesn't go beyond that for me.

I've dozens of friends despite that, though I've lost contact with dozens more in large part because my online schedule has shifted dramatically over the last several months, causing me to rarely see my many Australian and Asian friends any more.

I clean out my list once in a while too, as do many of us. If you don't, in time it becomes quickly unmanagable. If I've not encountered someone in a month or two (in world or chatting) with no prior reason given (like a planned long absence), I assume you're either no longer in sl or have changed your schedule as I have and our online times no longer match and I may drop you.

 

Which might lead to people seeming to lose friends when interests drift apart. You just no longer encounter them even when online.

[jwenting]

---

Syo Emerald wrote:

Thats in fact something that seems to happen on every SL beach. Just because my avatar wears a bikini guys start to think I'm interested in getting into naugthy stuff with them...just because of wearing less than normal. (I can't explain that behavior in any other way).

---

depends on the beach. There's some where "the average crowd" comes for a specific purpose, and you dropped in with other things in mind.

I'm a nudist, and tend to pretty much avoid such places, haven't had anyone older than about 2 weeks in SL bugger me about sex in months. Of course having some rather explicit wording in my profile stating I'm not interested might help with the older ones who actually take the time to read profiles (there's even a group "nudity is not equal to sex", helps wonders carrying that one).

[jwenting]

---

Sephina Frostbite wrote:

I used to dance and escort. So those are on my picks. Its been a long time and a lot of maturing since then. I forgot about them even. I am not here for some sympathy nor saying I didn't bring it on myself. Sorry it seems that way.. I just want a few places to start exploring other sites where sex isn't the main topic..

---

may I suggest visiting some M rated nude beaches? There's quite a few, no sex allowed. People are nice, friendly, you can chat and hang out without being pestered.

For clubs, never been pestered for sex in any of them, even in adult regions and even when there naked or nearly so. But my profile doesn't hint at looking for sex, quite the opposite.

 

If yours does, either leave or hide the responsible groups, and maybe change your profile text.

Or look for a hobby that has nothing to do with A rated content whatsoever. I've taken up dog training (AI dogs, not human pets) and hang out with those people. No sex involved, heck it's PG rated sims and occasionally I get weird looks for wearing a mini skirt

I still hang out in A rated sims, but have made it known there that I'm not interested in sex and the places I visit respect that. IM me in world if you want some locations (might take a while to respond of course, timezones and stuff).

[Ceka Cianci]

---

Sephina Frostbite wrote:

---

Ceka Cianci wrote:

---

Sephina Frostbite wrote:

So I have decided to not have "fun time" on sl. (Or

Very

Limited) Well it seems like because of this my friends list has minimized and people I would have thought were my friends are dropping like flies. I even was attacked because of my decision. I was told I should make my avi ugly then or shouldn't dress sexy. Its not like  I dress like a hussy. So now I am looking for places with like minded individuals because apparently I befriended all the close minded pervs. lol

Edit: Spelling, because I havent had my cup of coffee yet.

---

those people just mute them..

they insult nobody but themselves when they show what they are all about..

there is no reason for them to tell you what you shoudl do with your avatar..

if they just left without word..fine..but to get mean..say mean things..

 

i've had friends like that..thinking there was gonna be some hot sexy thing going on..

then when they feel they wasted their time because there wasn't gonna be and get mad about it..

that makes me hotter than a 2 dollar pistol..

if there was ever a time i could have a genie in my life it would be then..

i woudl wish big.. 

it would be to wish to have my hand grow about ten sizes and hard as a rock and able to reach through the internet to B!tch slap the holy hell out of them.. sooo hard that it makes them impotent on the intranets forevers!!.

 

getting those people off your friends list only makes your friends list more quality rather than quantity..

be glad you don't have to waste more time on wastes of time like them..

 

i can't wait for the day we have touch on the internet..just for them.. KIA!!!! *KICK*!!! 

 

---

Love the that saying too.. I might keep it.

---

next time they tell you these mean things..

just get their attention the best you can..

Then tell them too..

 

 

SHAAADAAAP!!!

 

oh ya.. one more thing...

don't forget to take a pic of their reactions..

 

hehehehehe

 

[Sephina Frostbite]

---

jwenting wrote:

---

Sephina Frostbite wrote:

I used to dance and escort. So those are on my picks. Its been a long time and a lot of maturing since then. I forgot about them even. I am not here for some sympathy nor saying I didn't bring it on myself. Sorry it seems that way.. I just want a few places to start exploring other sites where sex isn't the main topic..

---

may I suggest visiting some M rated nude beaches? There's quite a few, no sex allowed. People are nice, friendly, you can chat and hang out without being pestered.

For clubs, never been pestered for sex in any of them, even in adult regions and even when there naked or nearly so. But my profile doesn't hint at looking for sex, quite the opposite.

 

If yours does, either leave or hide the responsible groups, and maybe change your profile text.

Or look for a hobby that has nothing to do with A rated content whatsoever. I've taken up dog training (AI dogs, not human pets) and hang out with those people. No sex involved, heck it's PG rated sims and occasionally I get weird looks for wearing a mini skirt

I still hang out in A rated sims, but have made it known there that I'm not interested in sex and the places I visit respect that. IM me in world if you want some locations (might take a while to respond of course, timezones and stuff).

---

Good ideas, I need to update my profile to reflect the new me.

[Ceka Cianci]

---

Sephina Frostbite wrote:

---

jwenting wrote:

---

Sephina Frostbite wrote:

I used to dance and escort. So those are on my picks. Its been a long time and a lot of maturing since then. I forgot about them even. I am not here for some sympathy nor saying I didn't bring it on myself. Sorry it seems that way.. I just want a few places to start exploring other sites where sex isn't the main topic..

---

may I suggest visiting some M rated nude beaches? There's quite a few, no sex allowed. People are nice, friendly, you can chat and hang out without being pestered.

For clubs, never been pestered for sex in any of them, even in adult regions and even when there naked or nearly so. But my profile doesn't hint at looking for sex, quite the opposite.

 

If yours does, either leave or hide the responsible groups, and maybe change your profile text.

Or look for a hobby that has nothing to do with A rated content whatsoever. I've taken up dog training (AI dogs, not human pets) and hang out with those people. No sex involved, heck it's PG rated sims and occasionally I get weird looks for wearing a mini skirt

I still hang out in A rated sims, but have made it known there that I'm not interested in sex and the places I visit respect that. IM me in world if you want some locations (might take a while to respond of course, timezones and stuff).

---

Good ideas, I need to update my profile to reflect the new me.

---

oh new image time!!

lets see..here is a good one =)

it's kind of tough and sexy..embrace the scorn and jeans and just keep walkin tall!!

 

[Gentianpoet Galtier]

I haven't read your profile.  I hear there is a lot of that though.  I was once told that I wasn't really into SL if I wasn't indulging.  I thought of course about the developers who spend all of their time making wonderful things and thought so I guess they aren't really IN SL either.  Yes there is much else to do.  I must admit I haven't made any friends myself.  I attribute that to my  own shyness.  I invite you to IM me sometime.  I am always game for a conversation and who knows, we might even become friends.

[Sephina Frostbite]

That sounds nice!! Will do and will be messaging the others as well. I was just ejected and banned from a "friends" house because we wouldnt be having that kind of "fun". Someone Ive known for years... sheesh some peoples children. 

[ImaTest1488314069]

---

Sephina Frostbite wrote:

That sounds nice!! Will do and will be messaging the others as well. I was just ejected and banned from a "friends" house because we wouldnt be having that kind of "fun". Someone Ive known for years... sheesh some peoples children. 

---

Really? I can see exactly why you're losing "friends" left, right, and center.

Maybe you should just let people move on, as they're trying to. If someone drops you like a bad habit, after finding out you no longer want to have that kind of fun with them, your entire friendship was clearly based on that fun even if it wasn't the whole of your friendship. It's not their fault you're making a slifestyle change. The name calling you're doing is quite childish at this point, though it was the moment you called them all pervs, too. These people are not pervs, anymore than you were/are. They're also not "children" just because they no longer want to be your "friend". I honestly doubt all these people are defriending you for no reason at all. You really should just let it go and move on yourself. You said you wanted a slife change, so go for it. Quit looking for fault in other people and go make your slife what you want it to be.

Personally if I were on your friendslist and saw this thread, I'd drop you on principle alone. Yes I know that's harsh, but you're really just acting overly dramatic now and it's not going to get you very far with your new slifestyle.