No Slex = Less friends?

[Sephina Frostbite]

So I have decided to not have "fun time" on sl. (Or Very Limited) Well it seems like because of this my friends list has minimized and people I would have thought were my friends are dropping like flies. I even was attacked because of my decision. I was told I should make my avi ugly then or shouldn't dress sexy. Its not like  I dress like a hussy. So now I am looking for places with like minded individuals because apparently I befriended all the close minded pervs. lol

Edit: Spelling, because I havent had my cup of coffee yet.

[valerie Inshan]

I dont think my avi is ugly and the places where I hang out need SLex like a hole in the head! If you are looking for a friendly club where horny guys don't lurk in the dark before jumping on you, IM me inworld. I'll be glad to send you a group invite! :smileyhappy:

[Tex Monday]

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valerie Inshan wrote:

I dont think my avi is ugly and the places where I hang out need SLex like a hole in the head! If you are looking for a friendly club where horny guys don't lurk in the dark before jumping on you, IM me inworld. I'll be glad to send you a group invite! :smileyhappy:

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Wait a minute...a place with NO horny guys...that'll totally increase my chances of getting some...send me the invite too....

:matte-motes-sunglasses-3:

Honestly, if your friends were only interested in Slex...then they really weren't your friends to begin with. Good luck in your quest, dear....

[ColonelObvious]

Affirmative.  Close-minded pervs are nobody's friends.

Carry on.

[valerie Inshan]

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Tex Monday wrote:

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valerie Inshan wrote:

I dont think my avi is ugly and the places where I hang out need SLex like a hole in the head! If you are looking for a friendly club where horny guys don't lurk in the dark before jumping on you, IM me inworld. I'll be glad to send you a group invite! :smileyhappy:

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Wait a minute...a place with NO horny guys...that'll totally increase my chances of getting some...send me the invite too....

:matte-motes-sunglasses-3:

Honestly, if your friends were only interested in Slex...then they really weren't your friends to begin with. Good luck in your quest, dear....

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Well, if you like blues, I DO can invite you Tex!

 

[Madelaine McMasters]

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Sephina Frostbite wrote:

So I have decided to not have "fun time" on sl. (Or

Very

Limited) Well it seems like because of this my friends list has minimized and people I would have thought were my friends are dropping like flies. I even was attacked because of my decision. I was told I should make my avi ugly then or shouldn't dress sexy. Its not like a dress like a hussy. So now I am looking for places with like minded individuals because apparently I befriended all the close minded pervs. lol

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I have a "fun time" pushing people over edges, pinching them, and setting them on fire... and I have more friends than I can properly appreciate.

One or both of us is doing something wrong!

;-)

[Fayette Charron]

Sorry to hear that Shepina,

    I promise I won't unfriend you because of it

[Deirdre McMinnar]

It's starting to look like everything in SL revolves around SLex and the only way to meet new people is by sleeping with them first... Not that I'm the frigid type, but for Philip's sake.... I used to have a full list of 'friends' from RP places too, once I stopped being online and available for all sorts of RP they fell off like flies as well. Same with business relations. Maybe it depends on what the common ground was to initiate the 'friendship' as well.

Good luck, Sephina.

[Janelle Darkstone]

Sooooo... Seph, are we still on for "Dress Like a Hussy Night' at Club Fun Time?  :smileytongue:

[Christin73]

I am glad someone else on SL is on here for more then just sex. If it wasnt for me makeing L$ dancing, I would not be into the sex part. And even though I have a couple of dancer poles at my club they are more there for fun then anything. I am always up to hanging out and meeting like minded people. Shoot me an IM if you like.

[Madelaine McMasters]

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Janelle Darkstone wrote:

Sooooo... Seph, are we still on for "Dress Like a Hussy Night' at Club Fun Time?  :smileytongue:

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...fetches her reading glasses.

[Sephina Frostbite]

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Janelle Darkstone wrote:

Sooooo... Seph, are we still on for "Dress Like a Hussy Night' at Club Fun Time?  :smileytongue:

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Shhhh no one is supposed to know about that..

[Tex Monday]

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Sephina Frostbite wrote:

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Janelle Darkstone wrote:

Sooooo... Seph, are we still on for "Dress Like a Hussy Night' at Club Fun Time?  :smileytongue:

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Shhhh no one is supposed to know about that..

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*Gets out my high powered binoculars to see where they're going.....* :matte-motes-sunglasses-3:

[Syo Emerald]

I think there must be some indication before that could have told you this will happen. People aren't looking for friendship in the first place, if they defriend you, because you said you won't have much cybersex here.

Anything that you can remember about this? Something all of them had in common?

[Staralien]

People are often amazed when they find out I have never had Slex. I guess it is so common, every one but me is doing it...or so I thought. Nice to know there are others that don't have a need for it. I have often felt pressured into doing it, and what they don't seem to understand, I am far more stubborn than any of them. :matte-motes-evil:

There is too much to do in SL, and especially if you conduct business as I do and the friendships I have made are priceless, and are free from slex...well maybe a little pressure from a couple of them, but they take no easily enough. :matte-motes-big-grin: When I have free time, I would rather go dancing or exploring with friends then be cooped up in a skybox someplace doing the pixel thing.

[Marigold Devin]

 

 

 

It's a shame that when you change your forum badge again, anyone coming back to this thread won't quite get your joke, so I'm taking the liberty of screenshotting it in here. Too many have been lost before.

[Porky Gorky]

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Sephina Frostbite wrote:

I was told I should make my avi ugly....

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Shove a paper bag on your head and join the bag headed avi revolution!

[Trinity Yazimoto]

Well Sephina... my thought is that your "friends" (the ones who unfriended you bec you stoped SLex) were not what i use to call friend..

I have a full list of friend, no matter what i do or what i dont do, no way i can be released even from one of them lol....

i have even some male friends who would have liked to have a romance with me (not forcelly with sex) but since im frank since the start and i firmly say that there is no way for i accept any sl bf.. guess what ? they are still my friends ! More than ever ! we hang out, we visit place, we do pics, we see art gallery, we go to dance, we even have lunches or dinners, well we have fun.

i have deep friendly feelings for every of them... girls or boys.. all my feelings are sincere and i dont do any diff with my rl friends... some are only acquaintances, like it happens also in RL, but its still a delight to chat with them or do things together from time to time. Some are more close, i can honnestly call them friends. they are dear to my heart. They know it.. They also know that i have really better to do in SL than to jump on a ball and open my legs. They are FRIENDS, so they accept my willings and likes whatever they are. They can disagree with them, but in any way they wont try to force me to do somth i dont want to do.

So if some pp on your friendlist have unfriended you just bec you no longer want to have SLex, id say that you didnt loose anything... at least, your list is now cleaned from this parasites.... and you 'll have your mind all opened for meeting new pp, that will maybe become close friends.

Be clear from the start, its the only advice i would give to you... If the person likes you, she or he will accept you as you are. :smileywink:

PS : @ Maddy, i m in love with your new forum badge lol.:smileyvery-happy:

[Trinity Yazimoto]

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Sephina Frostbite wrote:

 I was told I should make my avi ugly then or shouldn't dress sexy. 

 

Oh and i missed this part of your post (thanks Porky for pointing it).

So now its a fault to look beautifull ? You are not responsable about how others will act... no matter how your avi looks... Its their problem  if they cant control themself not yours.

the "you should make your avi ugly or shouldnt dress sexy" is just so stupid and innaccetable than when a girl is raped in RL and pp will say its bec she was wearing a skirt too short...The ones who are wrong are the pp who think such things not the girl herself... 

If one day, someone happens to say something like this about my avatar, i guess that after my answer this one wont have any willing to go on flirting with me.

Stupidity is in the other camp Sephina, not in yours.

[Paul Hexem]

It doesn't matter what you do I SL, be it Slex or building or land baron-ing or DJing or roleplay, if you suddenly start doing it less, you'll have people unfriend you.

 

I clear my list pretty regularly. Old scripting clients, former DJ contacts, sim managers, RP people, etc. Once I'm to the point of rarely or never interacting with them, they're just taking up space on my screen.

[Celestiall Nightfire]

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Sephina Frostbite wrote:

So I have decided to not have "fun time" on sl. (Or

Very

Limited) Well it seems like because of this my friends list has minimized and people I would have thought were my friends are dropping like flies. I even was attacked because of my decision. I was told I should make my avi ugly then or shouldn't dress sexy. Its not like  I dress like a hussy. So now I am looking for places with like minded individuals because apparently I befriended all the close minded pervs. lol

Edit: Spelling, because I havent had my cup of coffee yet.

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I was in SL 3.5 years before I did any SLex.   I thought it was silly.   Spent my time exploring the grid, making things, and learning all kinds of skills.   Had a fabulous time!   Met wonderful people, and never thought about the sex part of SL much at all.  So, I don't think it's a big deal if someone is in SL and doesn't engage in SLex.  Just like in RL, it's an option, not a requirement! 

Just get out there and explore, learn, and meet people.  

 

Edited to add:  I just looked at your profile, and you have several "escort", "sex", "brothel", nude sex", "gentlemen's club" type groups and picks on your profile.   That really sends a mixed message, if now you're saying that you aren't interested in SLex.  Those groups and picks indicate otherwise, and send a message more powerful than how you dress.  

[Syo Emerald]

Thats in fact something that seems to happen on every SL beach. Just because my avatar wears a bikini guys start to think I'm interested in getting into naugthy stuff with them...just because of wearing less than normal. (I can't explain that behavior in any other way).

[ImaTest1488314069]

I'll be blunt

Act like a gardening tool, be treated like a gardening tool. You know, rakes and stuff. If you send mixed signals to people, you've no right being angry when they get confused or decide they no longer want to be sent mixed signals. I'll agree with a previous poster, your profile says the exact opposite of what your mouth is saying. As does your feed, the places you visit and how you conduct yourself. There is nothing at all wrong with it, of course. That's not to say one cannot act flirty, sexy, whatever else he or she wants. It's also not to say that acting that way, or being in certain groups, or having certain pics, is a guarantee that you're DTF. But it is going to make people take a second glance when you then decide to get all offended that they either hint at, or suggest anything remotely sexual That's not them being arseholes, it's you and the message you're sending causing major confusion. It helps to be straight with people. If you're not into the slex side of things, you're not making that choice very obvious to anyone observing from the outside in.

You don't need to participate in slex whatsoever here. Plenty of people don't. I happen to be one of those people. I have no interest in that side of sl anymore. But I also don't go posting half nude or mostly nude pics to my feed, visiting sex clubs, brothels, strip joints, or other related places where one could easily assume I'm not there to install track lighting. I don't have pics related to sexual content. I choose to do this so that it will be very clear I am not DTF. I've still had an issue a time or ten from both women and men who wrongly assume anyone in sl is DTF. I politely tell them where to shove it, and move on. At least I know in those cases, it had nothing to do with me or my actions and everything to do with them.

It has nothing to do with how you dress, alone. Any tool that tells you that is thinking with the wrong tool. But your mannerisms, your profile, the places you visit combined in with how you conduct yourself AND how you dress, can all lead someone to the conclusion you are indeed looking for a jolly good time, and I don't mean a bicycle built for two around central park. Unless that's your kink, in which case, have at it.

We do bare some of the burden when it comes to how others treat us. Not necessarily the largest portion of the burden, but some none the less. Sending mixed signals is a bad idea, sending mixed signals and then being offended when someone picks up on them, is an even worse idea. There will always be people interested in nothing more than slex. You could be wearing the most hideous av on the grid and it will still get someone tingly in the pants. It's inevitable. You can still lessen the effect you have on others and the impression you give, to some degree. Pretending like it's all them being slex fiends and you have no control whatsoever on the impression you give people, isn't going to get you far in life.

No I am not saying if you act sexy, dress sexy, occasionally visit adult clubs and such things,you're asking for sex. I am saying all of those things will have an impact on how others see you, like it or not.

[Paul Hexem]

I just looked at your feed, and I gotta echo the last few posts. It's your own fault.

[Amethyst Jetaime]

Contrary to popular belief there are a lot of people on SL that aren't  here to bump pixels with as many as they can, if at all..  That doesn't mean they have less friends. 

I agree with other posters, anyone that wants to push you into something you are not interested in and drops you as a friend if you refuse to be pushed,  isn't your friend.  It is also absurd for someone to tell you to make your avi ugly and to not dress sexy. These people aren't your friends either.  If it were me they said that to and they didn't drop me, I'd drop them after telling them it isn't all about them, that I dress to please myself and don't care what they think (but not that politely).

It is your SL, live it the way YOU want to , not how others want you to live it.  Don't feel you have to accept a friendship just because someone offers.  I won't unless I get to know the person and I see we are compatible.  It helps me avoid a lot of drama.

 

 

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