kali Wylder

Today I learned that if you are ambivalent about sharing your feelings, you can post them in the derail thread.

I think the main problem with a manliest man contest is that a truly manly man would never enter such a contest.

sighs

old woman

If one more person tells me to have a happy Thanksgiving or asks me what I am thankful for I shall explode! Cuz, you know, I'm not really gonna have a wonderful heart warming Thanksgiving and I'm not terribly thankful about it. I'd just like to forget about it and enjoy the time off from work without being constantly reminded that I'm all alone.

I don't get peeved about post counts or reputations because I'm generally clueless about them. Except that I do love that people are able to give themselves a clever little superlative and some are so creative! To me, those little response stickers are just my personal reaction tags. I don't think about how many I'm giving or getting. I'm not a prolific poster and I'm very inconsistent. Sometimes I post hearts all over the place, just cuz I'm feeling emotional and I want to spread warm fuzzies. Other times I'm gloomy and stuff and I just mutter to myself when I like something but give no feedback. If someone makes me laugh and I'm in the emo mood, then I will post the big grin. The same thing might make me laugh when I'm depressed but it won't inspire me to respond. As far as being impressed by high post counts, nah. I make up my own mind about who's opinions I value based on what they say. And I've reached that wonderful age where I really don't care very much what other's opinions of me are.

passionate deceptions

Granted but he turns out to be not at all like you imagined. I wish I didn't have to work today.

I agree With Matty which is kind of funny because I am an extremely private person in RL but in SL I don't care much who sees my pixels. Not only that I kinda like perve camming and I'm a bit nosy, so I will look everywhere I'm allowed to, but I don't care enough to push for it.

I don't really role play family relationships, but among the people I hang out with, we jokingly refer to each other as our sl family. There a woman many of us call Ma or Mama, which came about because she DJs and sometimes calls us her babies on mike. Then there's the guy I host for who calls me his little sis, and he calls the woman I call Mama his soul sister, so she is both my mother and my sister. The other folks she calls her babies are my siblings, and as many of them call others, the family grows. It get even more convoluted than that, not quite making anyone his own Granpaw but close. Really all it means is we love each other and we have for years now.

So much to think about. I want to thank everyone for participating in this thread and I hope we can manage to keep the rancor to a minimum because I’d like to keep talking about this. A little kindness goes a long way. We all have buttons and it’s easy to push them. I am a little bit hesitant to post this but I think I would like to know what others think. This year makes the 20th since I started taking antidepressants. While I am very certain that I do not want to go back to the way I felt before meds, I have to admit it troubles me that I’ve been taking this rather strong brain chemical all this time. So I did a little research. One of the reasons I was undiagnosed with clinical depression for so long is that the really good antidepressants, the ones that work, weren’t around when I was 11 years old. Prozac came out in 1987. That’s just 12 years before I started taking Venlafaxine which came out in 1993. This alarms me even more because there just can’t be many long term effects studies in existence. I’ve been taking this drug for 20 years and it’s only been in use for 26 years. So anyway, I was thinking of trying to detox and see how life is without the drug. I am not so foolish as to undertake something like this by myself so I’ve been seeing a psychiatrist and discussing a gradual withdrawal. But just before I was supposed to start cutting the dosage, all hell broke loose in my personal life. My 93 year old father was hospitalized with pneumonia and I had to take family leave from work to travel cross country to see him. Me too! Then I came home to a particularly nasty fire season here in California and had my electricity shut down 3 times for several days each time. I quickly decided it was a bad idea to change my meds with so much stress and I’m still not feeling comfortable enough. My father survived the pneumonia, but was so weakened by the illness that he is still in rehab. I wonder now which is riskier, continuing the life saving medication or rock the boat to satisfy my curiosity. My shrink agrees with me that now is not a good time to rock the boat.

I'm really glad you've found a way to manage how you feel. It sounds like life is better for you now.

It was ugly, I remember. I'm sorry that happened to you.

Wow, I thought I was the only one who was depressed at such a young age.... My earliest recollection of how depressed I was, was when I attempted to kill my self at the age of 11, and finally got help when I was 44. That included years of self medicating with alcohol and drugs and years of white knuckling it sober. Clinical depression really sucks but at least there are good meds now that can alleviate the worst of it. So anyway, I guess I'm a little behind the times and didn't realize that this thread has been pretty busy since the last time I checked in. RL has been rather demanding of my time lately, but this thread is near and dear to me so, I guess I'll quit apologizing and go back to page 2 or 3 or wherever I was and finish reading before I say anything more.

I never used to wear underwear unless I wanted to show it off. I have a kink, in that I'm an exhibitionist and being publicly exposed turns me on. But since I got involved exclusively with one man, I started wearing panties under skirts and dresses now. It's just a matter of respect to him, in that I'm not displaying my bits to anyone but him. I usually use appliers for the panties so they don't mess with the mesh.

not worried

life break

short bread

first crush

/me reaches out with a virtual hand, resting it lightly on your back and patting gently. It sucks. Lots of us here know how it sucks and how very isolated and alone it feels. You did the smart thing though, the rational thing, the mentally healthy thing. You didn't just sit there stewing in the misery of feeling so alone and different; you reached out and let us know that you were feeling bad. Nobody knows how you feel unless you tell them, and you told. I'm so glad you did, so we can tell you we care.

I'm guilty of saying 'k or 'kk but I never mean it to be dismissive, it's more like a diminutive to me, a little more intimate than ok and I might ad it takes just as many keystrokes to type 'k as it does ok and even more keystrokes to type 'kk. But at least I never call anyone hon, honey or lady as I agree that having a stranger using those intimacies is off putting. I have been known to say Darlin occasionally but sparingly and not to strangers.

I remember reading that one vaguely, I can't remember if I jumped in the mud and wrestled or not.