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Scylla Rhiadra

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Everything posted by Scylla Rhiadra

  1. Scylla Rhiadra
    Oh hell. I didn't realize it was now "Adult." It used to be General, in fact: the gallery owner moved a few months ago and he must have changed the rating then. Apologies! My intention was definitely NOT to lure you into a ToS violation! In a couple of weeks, I'll be hosting an exhibition, at my own G-rated gallery, of pictures produced by forumites: I'll make sure you get an invite to that! Again, sorry! And oops!
  2. Scylla Rhiadra
    Much depends on what you want to accomplish, I think. In the old days, we had a troll who excelled, to the extent that he nearly dominated the forum, at being amusingly sarcastic and nasty. He frankly wasn't (isn't, in fact -- he still trolls me on Twitter a bit) all that bright, and his "arguments" were frequently half-digested bits and pieces he'd quickly googled -- but he had an entertaining style. I don't think he was very good at "persuading" people to one view or another, but then that wasn't what he was about: his main aim was a sort of narcissistic compulsion to be liked and well-regarded. And at that he succeeded, because he could be funny and entertaining. (Those who liked him, and there are still some who have suggested they "miss" him here, tended to turn a blind eye to how really deliberately cruel and nasty he could be.) So, being unpleasant can sometimes be a ticket to a kind of "success." But if you want to engage in actual discussion, and maybe even change the way people think or understand things, I don't think unpleasantness and intolerance are really a very effective strategy.
  3. Scylla Rhiadra
    Yep! Here, don't tell anyone I posted this. https://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Royal Tea/143/58/2805
  4. Scylla Rhiadra
    I thought I'd sent that! Apologies. I should note, though, that the SLURL is in my forum signature as well And it's appreciated. When I first started posting here (actual, in the predecessor to this forum) in 2008, it was in the context of discussions leading up to the imposition of the new rating system that we still, more or less, use. I was responding to those changes from a feminist perspective (bear in mind that this was a time when there was a strong anti-feminist backlash in RL). My initial experiences here were, to put it mildly, not pleasant. Partly that was my fault -- I didn't gauge the community here very well, nor use the kind of language that was appropriate to the place -- and partly that was the fault of the then forumites, who were frankly pretty intolerant of the kind of perspective that I had to offer. Despite experiencing some very nasty pile-ons and toxicity, I decided to stick with it, and to make an effort to integrate myself into the community here -- without compromising my perspective. I moderated my language somewhat, and engaged in discussions that were not merely political to demonstrate that I wasn't a one-trick pony nor monomaniacal about my feminism. It took at least a half year or more, but eventually I was "accepted," and even (*gasp!*) appreciated by the forum community (which was, I should say, much rougher and frequently nastier than the one here now). And I was able to continue to offer my particular perspective, informed as it was by my feminism, in a way that compelled people to at least listen and think about it. You'll do fine, I'm sure, as I did.
  5. Scylla Rhiadra
    This.
  6. Scylla Rhiadra
    Yes and no. If a region does permit the kind of content and activities that fall under an Adult rating according to the ToS and CS, then a landowner doesn't really have much choice themselves: they must designate it as Adult or risk disciplinary action, loss of land and investment, etc. Complaining that a landowner refuses to break the ToS and run the risk of such actions merely because someone else wants to visit using a child avatar is deeply unreasonable, a little akin to arguing with a tree that you have right of way and it should move.
  7. Scylla Rhiadra
    Of course! I said . . . "shouldn't," not "wouldn't." Complaints are part of the cost of engaging with the public, unfortunately.
  8. Scylla Rhiadra
    If your Adult region permits open and public sexuality or extreme violence, then your answer to such questions is an easy one. If you choose to give your place an Adult rating when it is not, in fact, required by the ToS, then that's a choice you've made, and the responsibility for the consequences are your own. Fortunately, you have tools that will help you manage such consequences, and complaints.
  9. Scylla Rhiadra
    That might well be the case. And that is entirely their right. I am merely pointing out the logic of this. If one accepts (as I think most of us do, including most of those representing as children who've posted here) that child avatars don't belong in places that feature open and public sexuality or extreme violence, then LL's restriction upon child avatars from such places makes sense, and shouldn't be subject to complaints. If, however, a region that has been designated as Adult doesn't contain this type of content/behaviour, but is Adult anyway, the "blame," or at least the responsibility for that choice doesn't lie with LL, but with the landowner (who presumably has their own reasons for applying the rating). Crapping on LL for what is an entirely reasonable and logical restriction is illogical. And, frankly, blaming landowners who choose to designate their regions as Adult even when the ToS wouldn't demand it of them is also . . . pointless.
  10. Scylla Rhiadra
    lol Angry white boy, then?
  11. Scylla Rhiadra
    First, I understand and accept that your identity is SL is tied very closely to your child avatar. My SL identity (which is frankly nothing very special -- I'm mostly a younger, blonder version of RL me) is also very important to me. So, I DO understand why simply switching to an adult avatar to go to certain places seems onerous or unpleasant. You say (and I don't doubt you) that you don't do BDSM clubs or hang around adult content. I take it that this also means that you understand why it is inappropriate and perhaps even dangerous to have child avatars around such content. But Adult regions are literally defined by the fact that that is precisely what they do host, along with open, public sexuality and extreme violence. These things (and the fact that you can advertise these things there) are the only thing that differentiates "Adult" from "Moderate." So, if the Adult rated places you want to go to don't feature these things -- or presumably you wouldn't want to go there -- then the real question is . . . why are they rated Adult? It seems to me that your complaints should be directed not against LL, who is restricting your access when representing as a child to places you don't want to visit anyway, but rather at the landowners who are unnecessarily and inappropriately rating their regions Adult, and so preventing child avatars from visiting.
  12. Scylla Rhiadra
  13. Scylla Rhiadra
    Been there. I'm so sorry, hun. Hugs.
  14. Scylla Rhiadra
    Don't you dare. Yeesh, I once had to take Lil to task for threatening that. What an unruly mob you all are! Sit down and behave!
  15. Scylla Rhiadra
    I merely named the two who most seem to have acclimatized themselves to the place. As Cinn says, we're always looking, or should be, for new and fresh perspectives, and I'd welcome any who decided to hang about, as you put it. And no, the forum is not "fit for the purpose," and never has been. That's been true of every major change or crisis that has brought people here in the past, and not just the current one. Some of that has definitely been on us -- and some of it has been because some of those new voices were merely here to unload, and were not particularly interested in what we had to say either. That's been true before, and it's been somewhat true of the current instance as well. The forum should be a place for discussion, but there are definitely some who treat it as a dumping ground for one-sided histrionics and rants. (We actually have a few somewhat longer-term forumites who also fall into this category.) None of this is very new. The main difference is that those running child avatars tend to identify as a coherent community. But what has been clear, despite that, is that community or not, they are still very much individual voices and perspectives. Not all of those are ever going to fit in here, and probably don't want to. But I hope that some will.
  16. Scylla Rhiadra
    I am not going to entirely disagree: it does take some people some time to integrate into the forum community. And partially that IS our fault -- although not everyone's, by any means. But we are nothing like as nasty as we once were here. I'm going to echo Cinn's sentiment in any case, and express my hope that some, like @brodiac90 and @Madi Melodious to name but two, decide to stay. They would be welcomed by the vast majority of us.
  17. Scylla Rhiadra
    Not true, Coffee. And unfair to many of us who have reached out to some of those coming here to represent the interests of child avatars. Of course there has been some hostility. And yeah, it takes a while for newcomers to feel at home here. And at the same time, not all of those who are posting for the first time have been particularly willing to listen -- although they are exceptions, happily. I agree with Cinn -- I can think of at least two newish people I'd love to see hang around here more, and I, and most of us, would welcome others.
  18. Scylla Rhiadra
    You asked. We heard you.
  19. Scylla Rhiadra
    Maybe if we shoot one in ten, pour encourager les autres, like the French did in the Great War.
  20. Scylla Rhiadra
    Please god make it stop.
  21. Scylla Rhiadra
    A fun thing we used to do at a place I hung out (same place I mentioned above, actually) was push avis that had gone AFK into the pond adjoining the social area of region. It was a totally harmless prank, clearly not deserving the title of "griefing." It was done to everyone, regardless of how new, or old, or popular they were. It was, actually, even sort of an affectionate thing: it showed you had been "accepted." It happened to me occasionally. I found it a bit puerile and very mildly annoying sometimes, but I accepted it as part of the culture, and understood that it was certainly not in any sense "malicious." There was one person there who really hated it. She felt it was a kind of violation, I guess? And she'd get quite upset about it when it happened. Silly, right? It wasn't "hurting" her in any way, and wasn't being done in a mean-spirited way. It was really, objectively, mostly a very small inconvenience. And yes, of course there were countermeasures she could have taken to prevent it from happening. But we stopped doing it to her because, regardless of how silly we felt her objections were, it was bothering her. The "fun" we got out of it was incommensurate to the upset and discomfort it seemed to cause her. Our "fun" didn't depend upon making someone else upset, however irrational we might feel that reaction might be. We didn't mean it to cause harm -- but clearly it was doing that, to some extent, and that made it "not fun" anymore, because that fun was based on how we all responded to it, perpetrators and "victims." We stopped doing it because we cared about how our actions were impacting on her. In other words, because we weren't frickin' sociopaths.
  22. Scylla Rhiadra
    In an SL context? Maybe But it is, as Coffee says, a rather unpleasant reminder of some realities concerning how we as a culture judge femininity.
  23. Scylla Rhiadra
    Or statutory r*pe, but, yeah, sure! Heck, in some places in the US you can marry 'em off at 15 so maybe LL should just chill a bit, amiright?
  24. Scylla Rhiadra
    At last!!!! My chance to be A-rated!!!! "Hey Big Boy! Wanna come by and test exactly how "material" my dialectic really is? You've got nothing to lose but your chain." *wink wink*
  25. Scylla Rhiadra
    Years ago there was a guy who used to hang out at a very popular chat place I spent a lot of time at. He was mostly pretty pleasant, and when he was, I quite liked him. But he clearly had "issues" of some sort, and on occasion he would become quite frenetic and filled local chat with attention-seeking inanities and sometimes offensive comments. Mostly he was tolerated by the community, largely because we all recognized that, as annoying and occasionally obnoxious as he could be, he was really just trying to find a way to fit in. I suspect too that he was pretty young, and that likely factored in too. Then one day, when he was in one of his attention-seeking spells, he went off the deep end and dressed his avi up as the most offensively racist caricature of a black man he could manage, and began to spout the worst crap to go along with it. Needless to say, everyone was repulsed. I tried to talk him down (because I'm stupid) and get him to stop, but clearly someone had (understandably) ARed him, and a Linden suddenly appeared above him. Seconds later he was gone, never to be heard from again. I suppose he probably fits into your 5th category, although he most often was not like this. I think that trolls can be . . . complicated.
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