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Scylla Rhiadra

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Everything posted by Scylla Rhiadra

  1. Scylla Rhiadra
    Absolutely. This is exactly what I meant when I said this: I'm not here to pontificate (too much, anyway . . .). I'd like to think I'm here to discuss, and that's not possible unless there is a willingness to listen -- and learn. And I have learned a great deal here, from you amongst others. I still have "issues" with BDSM and D/s, but they are not the same issues I once had. Weirdly, I've even, on occasion, defended D/s here! Go figure. Something I've slowly come to realize: you don't "liberate" women by telling other women what they can or cannot do. I'd like to think that too. I think that if we'd both like to think that, it means it's true? (Unless anyone else objects too strenuously, of course.) Anyway, it's mutual, Roxy. I'd like to think I've gotten a bit better over the years at biting my tongue when what I really wanted to do was rip someone a new one. Mostly. (We all have our "off days" though, right?)
  2. Scylla Rhiadra
    You have the weirdest takes on things sometimes. Literally no one has asked you to "apologize" for the fact that sex is important to your SL. In fact, the vast majority of us don't care one way or another. Yay you!?!?!?!? We don't care. But by the same token, you are not owed an "apology" or an explanation by others, including those who represent as children, for the ways in which they choose to use SL. Perhaps you might poke your head out of your SL bubble long enough to recognize the incredible diversity of ways in which different people employ this platform. And I suspect that SL child RPers probably don't see much material difference between "I want you banned" and "I wish you'd never been permitted to exist in the first place." You may not be articulating the former, but you're still expressing a remarkable degree of intolerance and myopia. I doubt very much the child avatars actually impinge on your experience of SL to any noticeable degree. Why do you care? They certainly don't intrude much into mine. But you know who does? Annoying sex-addled men hitting on me. Should I be wishing that adult activities had never been permitted in SL?
  3. Scylla Rhiadra
    I'd not disagree -- in fact, I remember once actually telling him he'd made me laugh, because it was fairly rare. But he had a bantering style that self-evidently appealed to a great many people. I'd like to think that those who enjoyed his posts were not also somewhat attracted to his nastiness, but there is of course a human fascination with car crashes. And there may also have been an element of wanting to avoid becoming a target themselves? Or just relief that it was someone else who was suffering? He and I interacted a lot. I was not so much a "target" as a favourite foil, and foolishly I too often let him provoke me into a sparring match, when what I should have done, of course, was ignore him. When I returned after a couple of year's absence in 2013, I discovered happily that I'd become somewhat immune to that effect. I am sincerely and genuinely embarrassed now that I let him get under my skin as often as i did: many of my most cringe-worthy moments here were the result of his goading. But what I remember most about him now was his wanton and deliberate cruelty. Like any bully, he'd choose a victim, and harass them unrelentingly, most usually with the assistance of a half a dozen or so of his little circle. And, of course, the more visibly his victims displayed distress, the harder he came on. This isn't the time or place for stories, but there were some pretty horrific instances of his behaviour -- mostly involving women here -- that will remain forever etched in my mind. Peeve: the human willingness, apparently, to tolerate or even enjoy really toxic behaviours. Anti-peeve: the fact that we now seem to be much less willing to do so here.
  4. Scylla Rhiadra
    You know that part of the teen slasher flick where the attractive young girl hears something in the basement, discovers the light doesn't work, but decides to investigate anyway? Don't be that girl, Stella. Please.
  5. Scylla Rhiadra
    Yes, we all agree that shouldn't happen here. Hence the changes to the ToS. But you're talking about banning all depictions of children, including non-sexual ones that are not illegal. You want to preemptively restrict people's right to engage in utterly harmless and benign RP. And that is, I suspect, also a reflection of how important sexuality is to your experience of SL -- implied by your suggestion that SL is "adult." But SL isn't dedicated, or even necessarily dominated by sex, as important as it is. There are many thousands of us, in fact, for whom it is utterly irrelevant. Anyway, we've had threads enough on this subject.
  6. Scylla Rhiadra
    /me sighs and hits "delete" on her keyboard. Fiiiiiiiiine.
  7. Scylla Rhiadra
    Sure, and I understand why you might think so. I do find it somewhat ironic, though, that in a virtual world which freely gives host to graphic RP featuring a really wide range of horrors, where one can (for example) vivisect or torture or murder a woman before, during, or after r*ping her, that the thing that seems to cause the most outrage among many are those who find enjoyment in reliving the simple and relatively innocent pleasures of childhood. There are times when I don't think "adult" is really very nice.
  8. Scylla Rhiadra
    Bear in mind that the mythological Scylla wasn't exactly what one would call "a looker" . . .
  9. Scylla Rhiadra
    Sure! And again, you're within your rights to do so. Which doesn't exempt you from criticism for your attitude and choices, of course. But I think it's pretty clear at this point that you're not going to change your mind, so I don't think it's worth the effort.
  10. Scylla Rhiadra
    There are certainly some who have said so. Earplugs not included.
  11. Scylla Rhiadra
    Insofar as they respond, and often quite thoughtfully, yes. That was my experience 15 or so years ago here: once I'd established a "voice" that seemed to invite actual discussion, I was able not merely to comment from a feminist perspective on any number of things, but also actually start threads that developed into often quite worthwhile discussions. (My first stumbling efforts here, which were influenced by my experience in the more rarified bubbles of online feminist communities, were pretty uncompromising and frequently read as "angry" and doctrinaire.) I'd still get -- still do get -- a fair amount of what I suppose one might call "hate." But no one who dismisses me as a "feminazi" is likely to be open to learning new perspectives anyway. Most people here, then and now, are reasonable and open to discussion. I have to say, too, that those discussions also educated me. My attitude towards things like D/s and BDSM is still not uncomplicated, but it's a better informed, and even more sympathetic view than it was before I started here.
  12. Scylla Rhiadra
    Oh hell. I didn't realize it was now "Adult." It used to be General, in fact: the gallery owner moved a few months ago and he must have changed the rating then. Apologies! My intention was definitely NOT to lure you into a ToS violation! In a couple of weeks, I'll be hosting an exhibition, at my own G-rated gallery, of pictures produced by forumites: I'll make sure you get an invite to that! Again, sorry! And oops!
  13. Scylla Rhiadra
    Much depends on what you want to accomplish, I think. In the old days, we had a troll who excelled, to the extent that he nearly dominated the forum, at being amusingly sarcastic and nasty. He frankly wasn't (isn't, in fact -- he still trolls me on Twitter a bit) all that bright, and his "arguments" were frequently half-digested bits and pieces he'd quickly googled -- but he had an entertaining style. I don't think he was very good at "persuading" people to one view or another, but then that wasn't what he was about: his main aim was a sort of narcissistic compulsion to be liked and well-regarded. And at that he succeeded, because he could be funny and entertaining. (Those who liked him, and there are still some who have suggested they "miss" him here, tended to turn a blind eye to how really deliberately cruel and nasty he could be.) So, being unpleasant can sometimes be a ticket to a kind of "success." But if you want to engage in actual discussion, and maybe even change the way people think or understand things, I don't think unpleasantness and intolerance are really a very effective strategy.
  14. Scylla Rhiadra
    Yep! Here, don't tell anyone I posted this. https://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Royal Tea/143/58/2805
  15. Scylla Rhiadra
    I thought I'd sent that! Apologies. I should note, though, that the SLURL is in my forum signature as well And it's appreciated. When I first started posting here (actual, in the predecessor to this forum) in 2008, it was in the context of discussions leading up to the imposition of the new rating system that we still, more or less, use. I was responding to those changes from a feminist perspective (bear in mind that this was a time when there was a strong anti-feminist backlash in RL). My initial experiences here were, to put it mildly, not pleasant. Partly that was my fault -- I didn't gauge the community here very well, nor use the kind of language that was appropriate to the place -- and partly that was the fault of the then forumites, who were frankly pretty intolerant of the kind of perspective that I had to offer. Despite experiencing some very nasty pile-ons and toxicity, I decided to stick with it, and to make an effort to integrate myself into the community here -- without compromising my perspective. I moderated my language somewhat, and engaged in discussions that were not merely political to demonstrate that I wasn't a one-trick pony nor monomaniacal about my feminism. It took at least a half year or more, but eventually I was "accepted," and even (*gasp!*) appreciated by the forum community (which was, I should say, much rougher and frequently nastier than the one here now). And I was able to continue to offer my particular perspective, informed as it was by my feminism, in a way that compelled people to at least listen and think about it. You'll do fine, I'm sure, as I did.
  16. Scylla Rhiadra
    This.
  17. Scylla Rhiadra
    Yes and no. If a region does permit the kind of content and activities that fall under an Adult rating according to the ToS and CS, then a landowner doesn't really have much choice themselves: they must designate it as Adult or risk disciplinary action, loss of land and investment, etc. Complaining that a landowner refuses to break the ToS and run the risk of such actions merely because someone else wants to visit using a child avatar is deeply unreasonable, a little akin to arguing with a tree that you have right of way and it should move.
  18. Scylla Rhiadra
    Of course! I said . . . "shouldn't," not "wouldn't." Complaints are part of the cost of engaging with the public, unfortunately.
  19. Scylla Rhiadra
    If your Adult region permits open and public sexuality or extreme violence, then your answer to such questions is an easy one. If you choose to give your place an Adult rating when it is not, in fact, required by the ToS, then that's a choice you've made, and the responsibility for the consequences are your own. Fortunately, you have tools that will help you manage such consequences, and complaints.
  20. Scylla Rhiadra
    That might well be the case. And that is entirely their right. I am merely pointing out the logic of this. If one accepts (as I think most of us do, including most of those representing as children who've posted here) that child avatars don't belong in places that feature open and public sexuality or extreme violence, then LL's restriction upon child avatars from such places makes sense, and shouldn't be subject to complaints. If, however, a region that has been designated as Adult doesn't contain this type of content/behaviour, but is Adult anyway, the "blame," or at least the responsibility for that choice doesn't lie with LL, but with the landowner (who presumably has their own reasons for applying the rating). Crapping on LL for what is an entirely reasonable and logical restriction is illogical. And, frankly, blaming landowners who choose to designate their regions as Adult even when the ToS wouldn't demand it of them is also . . . pointless.
  21. Scylla Rhiadra
    lol Angry white boy, then?
  22. Scylla Rhiadra
    First, I understand and accept that your identity is SL is tied very closely to your child avatar. My SL identity (which is frankly nothing very special -- I'm mostly a younger, blonder version of RL me) is also very important to me. So, I DO understand why simply switching to an adult avatar to go to certain places seems onerous or unpleasant. You say (and I don't doubt you) that you don't do BDSM clubs or hang around adult content. I take it that this also means that you understand why it is inappropriate and perhaps even dangerous to have child avatars around such content. But Adult regions are literally defined by the fact that that is precisely what they do host, along with open, public sexuality and extreme violence. These things (and the fact that you can advertise these things there) are the only thing that differentiates "Adult" from "Moderate." So, if the Adult rated places you want to go to don't feature these things -- or presumably you wouldn't want to go there -- then the real question is . . . why are they rated Adult? It seems to me that your complaints should be directed not against LL, who is restricting your access when representing as a child to places you don't want to visit anyway, but rather at the landowners who are unnecessarily and inappropriately rating their regions Adult, and so preventing child avatars from visiting.
  23. Scylla Rhiadra
  24. Scylla Rhiadra
    Been there. I'm so sorry, hun. Hugs.
  25. Scylla Rhiadra
    Don't you dare. Yeesh, I once had to take Lil to task for threatening that. What an unruly mob you all are! Sit down and behave!
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