What Is Love In This Virtual World?

[Luna Bliss]

I'm always amazed at what can be learned in a virtual world.  I think I've told the story before about one of my Second Life store customers who sent an email to me, using so much profanity that I had to look up some of the words I'd never heard before.  He was pissed!

Upon opening the email I kind of went into shock just reading the major fit he was having.

I imagine most would shoot something angry back at him, and maybe I would have in the past, or at the very least be a little snarky. And then he would have responded back with hate and angry words and nothing good would have come from the interaction.  But I tried something different -- I responded in love. I simply asked him to describe the problem in a clearer manner and explained he was the first to have such trouble with this particular product.

The next day I got an email from him apologizing profusely, explaining that he was drunk and incompetent but that now all was well with his item.

This is when I learned how love/acceptance can change hate/anger into love.  It's very easy to diffuse the feelings of angry/upset people -- don't reflect it back to them.  Instead send back love. It can change everything!

I've tried this numerous times and it's amazing.

So have you learned or experienced anything about love in Second Life?   Please share your experience -- kindness showed to others, romantic love, friendship...whatever. All worlds are ripe for learning.

Edited January 30 by Luna Bliss

[Persephone Emerald]

One thing I'm still trying to learn is when and how to enforce my emotional boundaries with people. Having empathy and compassion for others doesn't mean I should neglect my own self-care or self-respect. This doesn't mean I want to be mean or rude to people, but it's too easy for me to sacrifice my own needs for what I percieve to be the needs of someone I care about.

What does this have to do with Love in SL?

I'd argue that empathy is the primary component of love, and without empathy, one cannot feel any kind of love for another person, be it erotic, platonic, familial, or spiritual.

[PermaRuthed]

12 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said:

It's very easy to diffuse the feelings of angry/upset people -- don't reflect it back to them.  Instead send back love. It can change everything!

Pretty sound idea.

[Love Zhaoying]

? I'm a Neko Lion.

[Midnoot]

I don't think it's " love " to remain level headed when everyone else is being unreasonable :p.

[Zalificent Corvinus]

18 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said:

So have you learned or experienced anything about love in Second Life?   Please share your experience

I once got an IM from a complete stranger, so I replied "who are you do I know you?"

This person then replied that they were a "friendly alt" of some Forumite who's tinkle-hippy opinions I usually despise.

 

Mute. Derender. Learn to suspect all suspicious IM spam from obvious enemy stalkers

 

[Luna Bliss]

4 minutes ago, Midnoot said:

I don't think it's " love " to remain level headed when everyone else is being unreasonable :p.

How do you define "love'?

[PermaRuthed]

 

[Luna Bliss]

14 minutes ago, Persephone Emerald said:

One thing I'm still trying to learn is when and how to enforce my emotional boundaries with people. Having empathy and compassion for others doesn't mean I should neglect my own self-care or self-respect. This doesn't mean I want to be mean or rude to people, but it's too easy for me to sacrifice my own needs for what I percieve to be the needs of someone I care about.

What does this have to do with Love in SL?

I'd argue that empathy is the primary component of love, and without empathy, one cannot feel any kind of love for another person, be it erotic, platonic, familial, or spiritual.

Emotional boundaries...not an easy thing to ascertain sometimes.  I agree that it's just as important to take care of yourself.

[Luna Bliss]

6 minutes ago, Zalificent Corvinus said:

28 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said:

So have you learned or experienced anything about love in Second Life?   Please share your experience

I once got an IM from a complete stranger, so I replied "who are you do I know you?"

This person then replied that they were a "friendly alt" of some Forumite who's tinkle-hippy opinions I usually despise.

 

Mute. Derender. Learn to suspect all suspicious IM spam from obvious enemy stalkers

Yes I'd put up a boundary too when I knew someone was likely contacting me for nefarious purposes.

[Luna Bliss]

17 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said:

? I'm a Neko Lion.

But did you learn the ways of Neko Lion love in SL?

[Luna Bliss]

This is how I'm defining love, mainly, though I'm sure others can add more definitions:

https://theacademy.sdsu.edu/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/two-wolves-cherokee-story.pdf

[Ceka Cianci]

It's sounds more like having patience with someone, than love to me..

I really don't let myself get that involved on that kind of level where love would come into  things.. I have common respect for people as well as try to have patience..

If conflict happens, I'll more than likely just turn them off.

I have  so much real love in the real world..  this virtual world is more my me time relax place where i like to keep those kind of emotions outside of here..

 

[Luna Bliss]

3 minutes ago, Ceka Cianci said:

It's sounds more like having patience with someone, than love to me..

I really don't let myself get that involved on that kind of level where love would come into  things.. I have common respect for people as well as try to have patience..

If conflict happens, I'll more than likely just turn them off.

I have  so much real love in the real world..  this virtual world is more my me time relax place where i like to keep those kind of emotions outside of here..

 

Ahh ok...you are one who keeps SL more on the fantasy side, whereas both worlds are the same to me.

[shireena1]

Gees, I can sort of relate to this, something obvious doesnt always sink in, but it seem to correct when i go away from the pc and come back a bit later, (especially with blender),

But patience is a virtue they say.

 

[Cinnamon Mistwood]

No one has ever come at me with vicious insults or threats.  I don't seem to bring that out in people, but there are plenty right here in the forums who are so arrogant in their opinions, that they spend their lives angry that people think differently.  Every word typed is an attack.  Their tone appears defensive.  They have to vent at others and force their views on them. 

It is rare, but I will state my case against someone if I believe they are acting fake, hypocritical, or manipulating others, but often times I just let it go and let consequences fall where they may.  Consequences are wonderful things and should be allowed to unfold on their own.  They don't need to be forced.  Sitting with someone while they deal with those consequences is a kind of love.

In SL people are whoever they present themselves to be without question or negative judgements.  That acceptance is rare in any world and people respond positively to it.  Whether that's love or not is open to debate. Love presents differently in different situations and with different people, so there is no one right way to love.

[Luna Bliss]

I posted the following as a response to someone speaking about the parable of the wolves, but it belongs here much better....

Parables often split aspects of reality into parts to further clarification, but the parable of the wolves is speaking to the dynamics/energies that exist within us as one person and we are never all one or the other.

Taking my daily entry into SL, I view the parable as a message of hope because I have a choice as to whether I'm going to participate in activities that enhance my life in SL, or detract from what I'd like it to be.
It feels like a blessing to me, to have this choice, but it's also a great responsibility.
If I fail to choose the positive path it's no cause for condemnation though. Knowing what is possible does not mean we need to condemn what is.
Likewise, if anyone is still overly conditioned by past trauma and has not reached the ability to choose wisely there is no cause for condemnation.

The parable is basically revealing that we have an opportunity in our life not to be miserable if we desire this -- it's a message of great hope, this ability to be conscious and have choice.

That's why in SL I have a chanting class, a class where we process grief, a  class for landscape artists soon to begin, and frequently create nature designs.
It's why I go to all the rituals/guided dances and therapy groups.
It's all to keep my spirits up, to remind myself what is possible, so I can make better choices.

[Ksenia Elcano]

49 minutes ago, Cinnamon Mistwood said:

there is no one right way to love.

Maybe so. But for now, there is definitely a wrong way. It's called forbidden love.

[Midnoot]

1 hour ago, Ksenia Elcano said:

Maybe so. But for now, there is definitely a wrong way. It's called forbidden love.

Edited January 30 by Midnoot

[PheebyKatz]

Love is being silly together. Love is also what makes it hurt when they're gone.

My sister has left SL, and it hurt to find out. I guess I must love her.

It's okay, she'll be back. I'll just miss her while she's away.

Iunno about all the other loves up in SL really, just the family kind.

Edited January 30 by PheebyKatz

[JUSTUS Palianta]

Spending time, talking, doing hobbies together, caring about each other, forgiving each other, understanding that life happens.  Loyalty like friends that stick by your side.

[Love Zhaoying]

This topic is very sad, anyone needing to ask has either not experienced love in Second Life, has been hurt badly, or is bored. I hope they're just bored.

[JUSTUS Palianta]

I think OP just wanted a thread where it was safe to say stuff like peace, love and light. ☮️

[Love Zhaoying]

4 minutes ago, JUSTUS Palianta said:

I think OP just wanted a thread where it was safe to say stuff like peace, love and light. ☮️

Ah, so not related to Second Life. Got it, thanks!

 

[PheebyKatz]

5 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said:

Ah, so not related to Second Life. Got it, thanks!

 

Cynical lion is cynical, lol.

We still love you. ❤️