I think it's funny. I've accused other people of being creepy (particularly in SL)....

[Luna Bliss]

6 minutes ago, Arielle Popstar said:

Did you read this part? 

On top of these factors, it’s believed that creepy people don’t have insight into their own creepiness.

Any case, good find. Well worth reading the whole article. for yourself.

Why are you pointing this part out (that creepy people don't have insight into their own creepiness)?

Are you thinking we should cut them some slack then?   I might, but it depends. Everybody projects on to others to varying degrees, and of course I include myself. It would likely depend on whether they realized they were projecting and apologized, and I definitely would not cut someone any slack if they kept forcing me to adhere to their projections.

[Quartz Mole]

Enjoyable though food derails certainly are, I think it's a bit too soon since the previous one to start another, unless it's a way of indicating that people are bored with the notional subject of the thread and want it closing.

[PermaRuthed]

12 minutes ago, Arielle Popstar said:

And I disagree with the :

The least creepy profession? Meteorologist.

Aside from the fact that they are so often wrong, there are those who have an agenda to turn any forecasted weather event into a sign of the global warming apocalypse!

LOOL, you funny. I never thought I'd see the day that weather forecasting profession would be politicized.

[Luna Bliss]

1 minute ago, Quartz Mole said:

Enjoyable though food derails certainly are, I think it's a bit too soon since the previous one to start another, unless it's a way of indicating that people are bored with the notional subject of the thread and want it closing.

Can we talk about creepy food though?  hehe....j/k

[Arielle Popstar]

5 minutes ago, Theresa Tennyson said:

Did you read the part where they make it clear that "it's believed" refers to the opinion of untrained observers?

In fact, 59.4 percent thought that creepy people don’t know they are creepy, and most thought that creepy people cannot change their creepiness.

Ok but did you read towards the bottom where the ability to differentiate between trustworthy and untrustworthy people was worse then if they had just flipped a coin?

In this experiment, participants did slightly worse than if they’d flipped a coin.

Considering that on average we are more blind to ourselves then others. it would not be a stretch to consider we do worse on ourselves then the 59.4%

[Quartz Mole]

1 minute ago, Luna Bliss said:

Can we talk about creepy food though?  hehe....j/k

We're not looking for reasons to close the thread but when people report posts, we have to act on them, and after the proportion of noise to signal gets consistently too high (or we get tired of cleaning things up) threads get locked.

[Luna Bliss]

1 minute ago, Arielle Popstar said:

Ok but did you read towards the bottom where the ability to differentiate between trustworthy and untrustworthy people was worse then if they had just flipped a coin?

In this experiment, participants did slightly worse than if they’d flipped a coin.

Again, the only solution is that if you encounter someone in 2nd life who experiences you as creepy (whether this is warranted or not in your mind) then respond to them sensitively. They are having trust issues, and likely experiencing fear. So proceed with caution.

[Theresa Tennyson]

28 minutes ago, Arielle Popstar said:

And I disagree with the :

The least creepy profession? Meteorologist.

Aside from the fact that they are so often wrong, there are those who have an agenda to turn any forecasted weather event into a sign of the global warming apocalypse!

People with constant parroted agendas are annoying, aren't they?

[Arielle Popstar]

6 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said:

Again, the only solution is that if you encounter someone in 2nd life who experiences you as creepy (whether this is warranted or not in your mind) then respond to them sensitively. They are having trust issues, and likely experiencing fear. So proceed with caution.

You are the first ever to describe me as creepy. Thank you!. Let me know when you deal with your trust issues and meanwhile I will try to be as sensitive as the example you set.

[Ayashe Ninetails]

31 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said:

I met a woman in 2nd life a long time ago who was an embalmer. I felt a sense of being creeped-out around her while knowing I really shouldn't feel that way around her, because after all she was just doing a necessary job for society!  But I kept seeing her messing with dead bodies..lol.  She said many did find her job creepy.

I think I mentioned once in another thread once having a friend who worked in a funeral home with the goal of becoming a funeral director herself. Funny enough, none of that would creep me out whatsoever, and I'd have zero issues dating a man who worked as one, either.

As long as I didn't have to witness anything behind the scenes and he didn't try to bring work home with him, that is. 👀😂

Behaviors are far more creepy to me than people or professions or personal hobbies are. Creepy is a high bar I generally reserve for the types of people who tend to wind up in prison for their actions. Predator/serial killer vibes, ya know. That's a bar that's very difficult to reach in SL, so it's unlikely I'd be genuinely creeped out by someone here unless they engage in actual stalking behavior.

[Theresa Tennyson]

8 minutes ago, Arielle Popstar said:

You are the first ever to describe me as creepy. Thank you!. Let me know when you deal with your trust issues and meanwhile I will try to be as sensitive as the example you set.

When did she do that? Just saying that it's possible for someone to be considered creepy doesn't mean that the speaker considers them to be creepy. "Creepyness" is a subjective criteria. When I was in grad school there was a student who was so "normal" and adept at telling people what they wanted to hear that I couldn't rule out his being a robot. Personally, I found him "creepier" then a Radio Shack full of goth teenagers.

[Luna Bliss]

17 minutes ago, Arielle Popstar said:

36 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said:

Again, the only solution is that if you encounter someone in 2nd life who experiences you as creepy (whether this is warranted or not in your mind) then respond to them sensitively. They are having trust issues, and likely experiencing fear. So proceed with caution.

You are the first ever to describe me as creepy. Thank you!. Let me know when you deal with your trust issues and meanwhile I will try to be as sensitive as the example you set.

The thing is though, that I don't want to "deal with my trust issues" in this case. I will always find it offensive & see it as creepy behavior, and respond defensively, if someone tries to force their false opinion of me, onto me.  This is healthy, so nothing for me to work on here regarding trust.

This reminds me of Gopi's thoughts from the very beginning...he realized he was forcing his expectation onto another via contacting them in ways that might be confusing or unwanted by the person, and understood how they might take his overtures as 'creepy'.

So we do have to be careful with our expectations and projections regarding what we are imagining about another. Too often we're only thinking of our own objectives.

Edited September 8, 2023 by Luna Bliss

[Love Zhaoying]

Not sure if all food references are derails, asking for myself!

Here's an example: In RL, I've often heard of "men" referred to as "beef", "beefcake", and even "cheesecake".  I think that is creepy!

 

[Paul Hexem]

2 hours ago, Theresa Tennyson said:

But back to the current topic, somehow I suspect that not being a douchebag may generally be more accessible than becoming a surgeon.

But a lot less fun.

1 hour ago, Love Zhaoying said:

Unpopular Theory: If you are in this thread and disagree with the general premise that "men are creepy", etc. then you are probably a RL male.

Makes sense to me. If I said women were naturally more prone to becoming irrational and making baseless accusations, I bet lots of women would speak up. 

... Probably accuse me of things, too.

[Love Zhaoying]

2 minutes ago, Paul Hexem said:

... Probably accuse me of things, too.

Irony: Denying things does not mean they aren't true. 

Double irony: People are often assumed to be guilty.

Irony^3: Creepy people are usually assumed to be guilty of SOMETHING. I mean, JUST LOOK AT THEM!

[Persephone Emerald]

1 hour ago, Luna Bliss said:

Can we talk about creepy food though?  hehe....j/k

Let's keep the discussion about people, though the way someone eats or what they eat could sometimes be creepy.

[UnilWay SpiritWeaver]

It's so much about context.

It's not about body type, or gender or whatever.

The big difference, for example, between the 'awkward' pick up line and the creepy one is entitlement.

The awkward person is trying to engage me and hoping I'm interested in them. The creepy person feels I owe them my time, they have a right to access to me.

The difference in those comes out often right away in the message, approach, and so on. Having grown up with multiple autistic friends; I've never even met an autistic person that couldn't tell the difference the moment an interaction occurred.

There might be people who want to claim they can't spot the difference or women are just being biased when they claim there is a difference - but I'm highly suspect of the motives of such people. It reads a lot like how incels will use such things to drive themselves into a frenzy of anger rather than just trying to be social - self-radicalization.

[Luna Bliss]

27 minutes ago, Paul Hexem said:

2 hours ago, Love Zhaoying said:

Unpopular Theory: If you are in this thread and disagree with the general premise that "men are creepy", etc. then you are probably a RL male.

Makes sense to me. If I said women were naturally more prone to becoming irrational and making baseless accusations, I bet lots of women would speak up. 

... Probably accuse me of things, too.

We are talking about Gopi's observations of the dating scene in both worlds. He has recognized how women are, on average, more vulnerable, even in 2nd life.

I have statistics to back up my claims about men related to feelings about dating , whereas your pretend claim is baseless and off-topic.
The statistics show us that for every man murdered by his female partner, 10 women are murdered by their male partner.
Women are r*aped far more than men are, and when men are r*aped it is nearly always by other men.
Men are, on average, far bigger and stronger than women, and more aggressive with greater need to feel in control of situations.

These facts stated above put women at greater risk for harm in society in dating situations and even walking on a street alone. They are more vulnerable. They are wise to be cautious in certain situations.

These feelings, from 1st life, extend into 2nd life for some women -- it may not always be rational as our physical size makes no difference in 2nd life, but our knowledge that men, on average, are likely to be more aggressive and try to take control, can make some women feel actual fear even in 2nd life. if you don't believe me, come to some of the support groups discussing relationships in 2nd life that I attend.

Our male allies who support the rights of women to be safe in society understand women's unique vulnerability and seek protection for them.

I'm not saying men do not have their own unique vulnerabilities that need attending to, and feel free to start that topic, but we're talking about a specific dynamic here -- men approaching women for sexual purposes in 2nd life and how/why that might be considered creepy by some women.

The above facts do not mean I hate men or find all men creepy (as I've been accused of by one person).

Edited September 8, 2023 by Luna Bliss

[Persephone Emerald]

46 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said:

Not sure if all food references are derails, asking for myself!

Here's an example: In RL, I've often heard of "men" referred to as "beef", "beefcake", and even "cheesecake".  I think that is creepy!

Describing people as if they're food does seem creepy, but then why do people do it? We call them yummy, sweetie, honey, sugar, etc.

[Luna Bliss]

9 minutes ago, Persephone Emerald said:

1 hour ago, Luna Bliss said:

Can we talk about creepy food though?  hehe....j/k

Let's keep the discussion about people, though the way someone eats or what they eat could sometimes be creepy.

Let's make a greater effort to realize when someone is simply making a joke.

[Persephone Emerald]

52 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said:

The thing is though, that I don't want to "deal with my trust issues" in this case. I will always find it offensive & see it as creepy behavior, and respond defensively, if someone tries to force their false opinion of me, onto me.  This is healthy, so nothing for me to work on here regarding trust.

This reminds me of Gopi's thoughts from the very beginning...he realized he was forcing his expectation onto another via contacting them in ways that might be confusing or unwanted by the person, and understood how they might take his overtures as 'creepy'.

So we do have to be careful with our expectations and projections regarding what we are imagining about another. Too often we're only thinking of our own objectives.

I think when anyone continues to project their beliefs onto someone else, it can be at least annoying, if not creepy. What seems true, is subjective to each person, but being able to understand the feelings of the person or being able to "read the room" in some cases, is necessary to avoid being viewed as annoying or creepy oneself. When in doubt if one's comment would be well received by the other person or "the room", I think it's often a sign of better judgement to say nothing.

[Arielle Popstar]

7 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said:

The statistics show us that for every man murdered by his female partner, 10 women are murdered by their male partner.
 

These facts stated above put women at greater risk for harm in society in dating situations and even walking on a street alone. They are more vulnerable. They are wise to be cautious in certain situations.

Considering the stats, it would appear women are prone to a selection error as regards their male partner. One thing I should point out too that as per the stats, many women are killed by their ex-partner more so than their current partner. So it is not dating situations or walking alone that is the problem but meeting up with an ex.

[Luna Bliss]

4 minutes ago, Persephone Emerald said:

I think when anyone continues to project their beliefs onto someone else, it can be at least annoying, if not creepy. What seems true, is subjective to each person, but being able to understand the feelings of the person or being able to "read the room" in some cases, is necessary to avoid being viewed as annoying or creepy oneself. When in doubt if one's comment would be well received by the other person or "the room", I think it's often a sign of better judgement to say nothing.

I always have hope, Persephone    But with the room, one thing to consider is that 'the room' is much bigger than those who choose to speak in it.

[Luna Bliss]

2 minutes ago, Arielle Popstar said:

15 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said:

The statistics show us that for every man murdered by his female partner, 10 women are murdered by their male partner.
 

These facts stated above put women at greater risk for harm in society in dating situations and even walking on a street alone. They are more vulnerable. They are wise to be cautious in certain situations.

Considering the stats, it would appear women are prone to a selection error as regards their male partner. One thing I should point out too that as per the stats, many women are killed by their ex-partner more so than their current partner. So it is not dating situations or walking alone that is the problem but meeting up with an ex.

Since you are now blaming women for their abuse via accusing them of 'selection error' I can only assume you're trying to rile up people/the discussion, and so the discussion is over with you now.

[Persephone Emerald]

8 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said:

Let's make a greater effort to realize when someone is simply making a joke.

I know you were making a joke, but some people on this thread might not or might purposely act as they don't know it's a joke. I was trying to clarify the parameters of this discussion in order to avoid further derails. I suspect that when some people get irritated by a thread discussion, they purposely try to derail it and then report it as having derailed.