BoraBoragirl

missing someone from secondlife, need help

Recommended Posts

sorry for my english

 

I miss someone from second life, i dont remember his resident name only his avatar name, james. I havent seen him since june. He was always online and we met almost every day in secondlife in a place. I regret that i didnt ask him for his private number and I really miss him. He promised me always to be there. But he dissapeared :( How can I find him?How to know if the person was online but appear offline?

 

thanks for help

 

Boragirl

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
20 minutes ago, BoraBoragirl said:

sorry for my english

 

I miss someone from second life, i dont remember his resident name only his avatar name, james. I havent seen him since june. He was always online and we met almost every day in secondlife in a place. I regret that i didnt ask him for his private number and I really miss him. He promised me always to be there. But he dissapeared :( How can I find him?How to know if the person was online but appear offline?

 

thanks for help

 

Boragirl

check your chatlogs for his full name

... just James won't help a lot.

If it's his choice to be offline for you, but not for others,  you also have a answer : he doesn't want to see you.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

 

We already know each other for 6 months and have met almost every day. How can it be that he just disappears without saying reason?

it hurts :(

Edited by BoraBoragirl

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
51 minutes ago, BoraBoragirl said:

it hurts :(

I'm sure it does. This is one of the perils of anonymous online relationships. We never know what's really going on in the other person's life or mind. If your friend wanted to, and was able, he'd remain in contact with you. I don't mean to sound cynical, but when someone promises to "always be there" they're fooling themselves and/or you. That's a difficult promise to keep in RL, let alone SL.

If you do wish to locate and search your chat logs, go to Preferences->Chat and look at the bottom of the window. You'll see a "Location:" text box containing the path to a folder containing your chat logs. Your local chat file will be in chat.log and IM chats with other people will be named with their username. Look for a log file that was last modified in June, around the last time you spoke to your friend.

Good luck, and hugs.

  • Like 8

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

 

thank you Madelaine, hugs. Yes you are absolutely right, but I'm very much in love and I'm very sad. He is no longer in my friendlist and I see in the chatlogs nothing. He has disappeared as if he had never existed. I go a lot in the place when we met and wait for him, he just doesnt come. Have the feeling that I die soon, it does  hurt so much not to see him anymore and talk to him. 

I dont know what to do. I've been waiting for him since june, how can I reach him? Is there any way an app where you can see if the person was online and what time? 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, BoraBoragirl said:

I dont know what to do.

move on, stop waiting, he won't come back

1 hour ago, BoraBoragirl said:

 He is no longer in my friendlist

that message is clear... you might be in love, he isn't, or at least not anymore. His calling card might still be in your inventory ... but serious... if he doesn't want you to see him ánd deleted from your friendslist ----> see my first line : move on, stop waiting, go out and start a new life.

1 hour ago, BoraBoragirl said:

how can I reach him?

not

and if he doesn't want it, you might feel even worse if he cuts you off when you dó contact him.

Nobody can help you, only you when you check for his name in the logs, if you don't have it, there's nothing left.

LL will never give any personal information.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You can also have a look  if you remember/know what groups he is a member or both of you. Then you can see what day he has been online for the last time. 

That way you can see if he is still on SL. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
5 hours ago, BoraBoragirl said:

Is there any way an app where you can see if the person was online and what time? 

There are ways............... but it is best if you just don't go there.

This is SL.  Many things are seldom as they seem and it is better for your sanity and heart if you always keep that in mind.

  • Like 5

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

 

I'm not stalking him, how? I have no contact information. I only wish to see him again and to talk to him. I know I have to forget him, but I hope he reads it and makes contact with me again. :( 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
4 minutes ago, BoraBoragirl said:

I'm not stalking him, how?

when he left you so long ago ( two months is nearly a life time in sl )  and you still try to find ways to contact,  is kinda pre portal of stalking.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

 

I just want to ask why he does not want to contact me any more.  Just to disappear is not fair and I have also deserved an explanation.:( It is not easy to forget someone

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Just now, BoraBoragirl said:

 

I just want to ask why he does not want to contact me any more.  Just to disappear is not fair and I have also deserved an explanation.:( It is not easy to forget someone

life sucks sometimes... it's not fair at all, nobody promessed that about SL either.

If we always got what we deserve this world would be a total different place.

 

Perhaps he got a overdose of Nina and needs to walk through his rehab program first. Keeping contact might be dangerous for him at this stage. Keep a distance and move on with your life, keeping telling you miss him and want to speak won't help. (also not when putting it in your profile)

 

 

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

And what has now my name to do with it? you're really naughty. Hope you come to my situation and gets really hurt, just because you can deal with the situation well and you can make fun of others and you dont have human feelings., doesnt mean others have no feelings. I am a human with feeling and can get hurt, unfortunately, not like you

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, BoraBoragirl said:

And what has now my name to do with it? you're really naughty. Hope you come to my situation and gets really hurt, just because you can deal with the situation well and you can make fun of others and you dont have human feelings., doesnt mean others have no feelings. I am a human with feeling and can get hurt, unfortunately, not like you

you'r clearly not ready for the big bad world, perhaps even not of legal age to be here?

And about my love life?.... seen it, been there, know what it is.

Edited by Alwin Alcott

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 18/08/2017 at 8:41 AM, BoraBoragirl said:

He is no longer in my friendlist

The only way a person will suddenly disappear from your contacts list is if they decide to remove themselves. I'm not sure if they would also vanish if they did something to get themselves banned from SL, but usually it's that they simply de-friended you.

This could be for any number of reasons, from their real life partner finding out that they're "playing around online" with someone else, to them getting another SL partner who demands that they remove every other "rival" from their contacts list, to them simply not wanting to see you anymore but not knowing how to tell you that (or being too afraid to tell you that, for whatever reason).

I have to admit that, from what you have said here and how you have said it, my money is on the last of those options: that "James" doesn't want to see you anymore (for whatever reason) but that he does not want to deal with the repercussions of his explaining to you those reasons. You come across as someone who - despite your protestations that you know you have to forget him - refuses to accept the end of your relationship, as per:

12 hours ago, BoraBoragirl said:

I only wish to see him again and to talk to him. I know I have to forget him, but I hope he reads it and makes contact with me again. :( 

Translation: "I know I have to forget him but I want to see him again. Which means I'm not trying to forget him."

And:

On 17/08/2017 at 9:20 PM, BoraBoragirl said:

How to know if the person was online but appear offline?

Translation: "How can I find out if he's hiding from me?"

And:

On 18/08/2017 at 8:41 AM, BoraBoragirl said:

I go a lot in the place when we met and wait for him, he just doesnt come. [ ... ] I've been waiting for him since june, how can I reach him? Is there any way an app where you can see if the person was online and what time? 

No translation necessary: you've been hanging on to this relationship for almost three months.

Fair enough; I know how hearts can get involved in Second Life, and - even though my SL relationship is (and has been) rock solid for ten years - I understand that it hurts, but he probably just doesn't want to have to go through what he sees as the inevitable "scene" that would amount from telling you why he left without saying a word.

Picture how it would go, if he did get back in touch. Ask yourself what kind of answer to your "why did you leave me?" question you would be satisfied with. The answer would most likely be that none of his answers would be satisfactory. He no longer loves you? He got bored of you? He's got someone else in SL? His real life partner found out? None of those are going to help you to get over him. Nor are they going to rekindle your relationship. In fact, knowing his reason will most likely hurt more.

Nobody is being unkind, unemotional, or unfeeling for telling you to move on. They're just trying to help you.

Please don't tell people that you hope they get hurt like you're currently hurting. They most likely already have been hurt, which is why they have the experience to tell you to move on.

  • Like 11
  • Thanks 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
5 hours ago, Skell Dagger said:

Please don't tell people that you hope they get hurt like you're currently hurting. They most likely already have been hurt, which is why they have the experience to tell you to move on.

Amen to that! Consider this a learning experience. This is very common in SL, learn from it and move on. It wasn't meant to be, the right guy is out there someplace. It could take a lifetime to find him and only if you're lucky. Life is way to short too waste time on anyone that doesn't make you a priority. :SwingingFriends:

Best of luck 9_9

Edited by Zsigmond Alcott
Spelling
  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm sorry that I said this to Awin, l take it back. I dont want someone to feel like this and get hurt. I know how it is and you're right, I need time until I get over him, Im really sorry.

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

BoraBoragirl after nearly three months you need to start moving on and learn from this experience, i've been in your shoes it was latter half of 2008 met a lovely guy we used to hook up in java island and some beautiful and pretty private locations, then i wasn't able to log in for the best part of a month due to a broke computer when i was able to get back on i found out i'd been unfriended, wasn't of any interest any more at the time i was quite sad about it. A few weeks later as this guy was still in my contact cards i discovered he'd ditched me moved on to someone else and declared their undying love with a group and sickeningly soppy group tags at that point i realised it was not worth pining for the guy got on with my SL 8 or so years later i can think back and have fond memories of going to the places 

  • Like 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

that's sad  It hurts and I still suffer. I have found his resident name under chat history, do not know now whether I should write him or not. Im afraid.. I'm just too naive

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, BoraBoragirl said:

that's sad  It hurts and I still suffer. I have found his resident name under chat history, do not know now whether I should write him or not. Im afraid.. I'm just too naive

Write a notecard to him BUT do not actually send it.  Sometimes the writing can help us get things out and get some closure.  It won't do any good to send it and you'll just feel worse if he does not respond.  However, putting your feelings on paper, including the frustration you feel of him just dropping out of your life like that, can be very healing.

Remember, do NOT actually send him a note.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 8/18/2017 at 1:41 AM, BoraBoragirl said:

 

thank you Madelaine, hugs. Yes you are absolutely right, but I'm very much in love and I'm very sad. He is no longer in my friendlist and I see in the chatlogs nothing. He has disappeared as if he had never existed. I go a lot in the place when we met and wait for him, he just doesnt come. Have the feeling that I die soon, it does  hurt so much not to see him anymore and talk to him. 

I dont know what to do. I've been waiting for him since june, how can I reach him? Is there any way an app where you can see if the person was online and what time? 

there are trackers that will tell you when an avatar has logged in but what good will such knowledge do you?

ones you wear only  work while u are online but there are ones u can rezz that will watch for him 24/7

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
yes, have found such an online tracker and tried for 2 days. He was online, I didn't write him..I wanted but couldnt. Is there also a tracker which say where he is located? Would like to appear there and see if he speaks to me. 
Edited by BoraBoragirl

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, BoraBoragirl said:

yes, have found such an online tracker and tried for 2 days. He was online, I didn't write him..I wanted but couldnt. Is there also a tracker which say where he is located? Would like to appear there and see if he speaks to me. 

in heavens name... stop your obsession before it brings you in serious SL trouble... if he finds out you'll have the risk to get banned for stalking, disrupting the peace, and harrassment.

leave him alone and move on ... no excuses anymore!  you have a serious problem lady ..

  • Like 2
  • Thanks 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Please sign in to comment

You will be able to leave a comment after signing in



Sign In Now