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How much you partner/friends appeance is important to you?


valerie Inshan
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valerie Inshan wrote:

Okay this is a virtual world. But we are more than pixels. How much do you care about the appeance of the ones you cherish? Is it important to you? Please share.

I used to be with a man who would say "I don't like your hair" or "you need an face light", and I'd change my hair and wear a facelight, yet I only knew him to change his clothing three times in three years.  I would never have dreamt of saying to him, "you need hair" (which he did, but I dislike the "girlyness" of a lot of the hair available to men in SL), and I loved him regardless of how he looked. Most of the time he wore a mask over his face anyway, so I could imagine he looked like Brad Pitt underneath!

Honestly, though, it doesn't matter to me what someone looks like, as long as they have interesting personalities and are not insensitive and hyper-critical of me and my many flaws!

Just to contradict that slightly, I do have a MASSIVE crush on Wildcat's avatar currently - she is so photogenic, and somehow exudes enormous sexuality. But shhhhhh its just a crush, it will pass.

And my lovely partner, Janelle, of course is beautiful, in SL and outside of SL. But I would think as much of her if her avatar was a plywood box. Her personality shines through.

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@Valerie:

LOL NoNoNo LOL

It's only that apperance is not importan for me in RL: jeans, shirt, face wash, and short hair combed with the hands after the shower :)

And in SL it's funny be a cardbox, a ball, a "invisible woman", a puppet, a robot...

It's only for fun, and so I have no problem with L$ for my apperance :)

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i don't care too much for appearance i've been friends with & dated guys that were everything from a small glowing particle orb to a clear glass dragon to every newbie av in the library, even a plywood cube. i remember one guy he had a real problem with my hair and bought it up every time we saw each other inworld i had to go through what hair i had and went for the one i hated least  

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I accept and respect how my friends and others look, 'the freedom to be what u want to be is the core of second life', without this colorful diversity the grid would look grey shaded ............ Myself I am spending a lot of time on Wildcat's appearance and of course if some of my friends or others ask me for advice I am very glad to help them out anytime *meows*

(@Mari ..... /me blushes, ty for your kind words :smileywink:)

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Ok I must be shallow because appearance is important to me :(   I consider SL to be a creative outlet, so having a partner that wears the same thing everyday and does not enjoy shopping would not fit in with how I spend my SL time.  There is nothing wrong with not shopping or not changing your clothes but for me personally I want a partner who cares about his appearance.  I love to take photos and some skins work better than others and our pics together would be boring to me if he always had the same look.  Plus I love to get all dressed up in formal attire to go dancing, I don't want a one tux man :)    

 

 

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In RL, I shower in the morning, brush my hair, wear a light foundation and eyeliner, wear clean clothes and various other things.  I care about how I look.  It may be PC to claim your looks do not matter, but for most people, they do.  And I want to look like I care about myself.  I want my partner to look like she gives a damn as well.  If we truly did not  care how we looked then we would all be in our newbie avatars we signed up with.  How I look is important to me.  I want to be taken seriously.  I want people to know I make an effort in how I present myself and that effort is not for my own sake, but also out of common courtesy and human respect for those people I interact with.

It matters to me how I look.  I want to look like your opinion matters to me. I want to look like I care about how I present myself around you. I want to look like I respect you enough to make myself presentable.\

I actually care.  I guess that makes me shallow.  So be it.

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Looks don't matter to me in SL, as long as you not a jerk.  I get along with you whether you're a furry, newb, or some freaking cow/human hyrbid.  And trust me, most of the jerks I met were the usually pretty avatars.  This is why I like helping the new people instead of dealing with some of the veterans.

Although I do have a special perference with people who have original avatars instead of being in the usual human avatar.  A vivid imagination of SL is what I like about it.  For example, if a short fat guy and a generic blond female avatar with slutwear were standing next to each other, I woudl talk to the fat guy, since you rarely seem them around in SL.  xD, I guess I'm tired of seeing the generic pretty avatars, I rather see more people like Marianne McCann around in SL.

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Funny how those that say looks dont matter are the ones posting their best looking pics, depending on the topic posted every few days, evening dress, leather, etc lol

Looks matter in rl and sl, no one ever dated or slept with anyone they didnt find attractive, well unless you were drunk, but that night doesnt count right?

:-P

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Anfield, I said it matters to me.  Wildcat stated she spends a lot of time on her appearance. Val only asked the question.  Open up these threads you mention and there we will be.

Besides appearance, there is also the matter of people's personalities.  I have no clue what you look like, for instance, but it is already clear that we would not be compatible.  No amount of alcohol will ever fix that.

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Oh... as the typical Virgo, I filter my potential partners through multiple layers even before they knew they wanted to be with me. So the one that finally got through will be exactly the way I always want a man to be. On the good side, I don't have to tell or force the guy to 'mold' into my type, he comes with the package... on the bad side, no one might be able to pass all the 'tests'... which is why i'm still single.. lol!

PS: His appearance is part of the 'layers' that he needs to pass!

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Thank you all for your replies. It's about time I give my point of view too. :smileywink:

My friends' appearance does not really count. We are friends because we have values, hobbies and fun in common, no matter how we dress.

As for my partner, his appearance does count very much to me. I like to offer him new clothes (as he enjoys to buy me jewels), we go shopping for hair and skins together. Actually we enjoy wearing matching outfits. We go casual or formal at the same time and this has become a kind of game between us. It adds a touch of fun to our long-lasting relationship.

And for myself, well, after all my posts in all possible vanity threads in these forums, I guess I don't have to say how shallow I can be! :smileyvery-happy:

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Anfield Wardell wrote:

Funny how those that say looks dont matter are the ones posting their best looking pics, depending on the topic posted every few days, evening dress, leather, etc lol

Looks matter in rl and sl, no one ever dated or slept with anyone they didnt find attractive, well unless you were drunk, but that night doesnt count right?

:-P

You be surprised actually.  Some people dont' have the choice on who they sleep or date with in RL due to the very same reason.  Some people do get desepate when they rarely get the opportunity to do either.  ;)
Anyway, I was mostly talking about normal friends, since I'm not partically interested in dating in SL nor in RL as well.
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It fascinates me that the way in which you present yourself in terms of appearance is capable of influencing significantly the assumptions others might make about you.

I tend not to play the dating game in SL, but it is clear that those who seek to play that game, and  also take care and pride in respect of their avatar's appearance, increase considerably the pool of prospective partners from whom they can choose. Initially at least, it would seem that many people in SL judge a book by its cover.

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