RL - SL balance

[daisybloomer]

---

Drake1 Nightfire wrote:

And just how easy is it for a wheelchair bound person to get out and about in the winter with 4 feet of snow on the ground? Are you disabled? You do know there are thousands of types of disabilities, right? Take someone who is severely agoraphobic. They can barely walk outside of their house. FUlly functional body, terrifying fear. So, tell me, how do they explore the world? You are coming off as a very smug person telling others what to do with their lives.

---

I think you missed my point. I did not say they shouldn't be in SL period. I am saying that if they are disabled it is not a free pass to spend an even larger portion of their daily life in SL at the expense of RL. Both your examples of being wheelchair bound or agoraphobic have RL treatments and solutions. And if they still want to be in SL fine, but it does not mean just because of their conditions it is good for them to be in SL 80% of the time daily.

I do know quite a few people with disabilties and they try to make every day count. Most are not SL users. 

[Tari Landar]

Uhh...yeah, not currently using a TTS, ftr, so...typo queen ftw!!!

and more smileys, just because

:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

 

[Pamela Galli]

---

daisybloomer wrote:

---

---

I think you missed my point. I did not say they shouldn't be in SL period.

I am saying that if they are disabled it is not a free pass to spend an even larger portion of their daily life in SL at the expense of RL.

Both your examples of being wheelchair bound or agoraphobic have RL treatments and solutions. And if they still want to be in SL fine, but it does not mean just because of their conditions it is good for them to be in SL 80% of the time daily.

I do know quite a few people with disabilties and they try to make every day count. Most are not SL users. 

 

_________________

It is you who seem to be missing the point, which is that no one here considers himself accountable to you for how he spends his time, and therefore is not in need of any pass, free or otherwise, from you.

---

[daisybloomer]

---

Pamela Galli wrote:

 

It is you who seem to be missing the point, which is that no one here considers himself accountable to you for how he spends his time, and therefore is not in need of any pass, free or otherwise, from you.

---

 

Pamela, in case you haven't figured it out yet, I was only stating an opinion. I did not go writing it as a rule or order that needed to have been followed and carried out after my posting. No need to get so defensive and personal about it.

[Theresa Tennyson]

---

Charli Infinity wrote:

don't be touchy

i wonder sometime how people can be on sl everday all the time. like here or the other forum, flickr and on blogs

literally on everyday

how many hours a day you spend on sl on average?

---

Charli Infinity's average daily post count for February: somewhat over two.

[Marianne Little]

It is ignorant to assume that someone logged in actually sits here and reads. I read fast, and frankly... this is a dull place with little traffic. Your Avatar and General discussion is the only subforums with more than one-two posts every day. Unless someone tries to stir up a provocative discussions, replies is under two digits.

I spend a bit time on writing an answer because English is not my native language, but a long reply don't have to take more than 5 minutes, plus editing a few typos I find after submitting.

We have mobile phones with Internet access basically everywhere. There is no difference scrolling through a SL blog or a RL blog while sitting on the bus. Or Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, weather forecast, newspapers, parent forums, car forums, whatever interests people have. Western people are connected to the Internet more and more. I am more worried about my Internet use as a whole. It is hard to separate what's time spent on Internet sites for SL and what's RL. I think RL wins the battle of time spent reading and being active online, not idle logged in.

For time logged in SL itself, that varies a lot. I usually have 3 days in a month that I can log in 4-6 hours in SL, maybe even 8 hours. The rest of the month, I am not logged in, or I log in to pick up something sent me and is out again in 15-30 minutes. I don't even bother to find out how much that is in percentage. Even my most active SL period was 3 hours a day. 

http://www.bls.gov/news.release/atus.nr0.htm

 "--Watching TV was the leisure activity that occupied the most time (2.8 hours
per day), accounting for more than half of leisure time, on average, for those
age 15 and over. Socializing, such as visiting with friends or attending or
hosting social events, was the next most common leisure activity, accounting
 for 43 minutes per day. (See table 1.)"

I didn't use TV. SL was my main leisure activity.

[Pamela Galli]

---

daisybloomer wrote:

---

Pamela Galli wrote:

 

It is you who seem to be missing the point, which is that no one here considers himself accountable to you for how he spends his time, and therefore is not in need of any pass, free or otherwise, from you.

---

 

Pamela, in case you haven't figured it out yet, I was only stating

an opinion

. I did not go writing it as a rule or order that needed to have been followed and carried out after my posting. No need to get so defensive and personal about it.

---

And in turn here is something you have not figured out yet: we are all stating an opinion. As far as who is getting defensive and personal... that is yet another matter of opinion.

 

 

[Bobbie Faulds]

I have a store in SL so I spend time inworld and out working on items. I also like to RP and I'm an admin on the RP estate where I play. I can't physically spend more than 8 hours or so sitting at the computer because of the permanent damage sustained in an accident almost 3 years ago.

When I can't sit at the computer any longer, I'll stretch out on my bed and will usually stream video or watch movies while i knit...yes...knit. I've made scarves, cowls, finderless gloves, tops, hats, afghans, completely outfited my kitchen with dishcloths, etc.

I'll also read. Around my household, a Kindle is not a luxury item. Books are nice but you save a lot of paper with Kindles. Also, because of my injury, I'm unable to hod the weight of even a paperback anymore.

So, lots of activitie outside of SL. I'll occasionally go out to a movie, though not often since I'm on a fixed income. My caretaker has to drive since I can't anymore. I'll also go to the store for groceries but I'm always exhausted when i get home, another thing you have to consider. Just to look at me, you wouldn't thing there was anything wrong; true of many disabled. However, my stamina is not what it used to be before the accident. Going out involves getting into the car. Sounds easy enough, but try putting on and taking off a seatbelt when one arm doesn't work quite right. You'll see me walking around the store, but you don't see that the whole outside of my left leg is numb and my back is throbbing. So please, don't make assumptions about disabled based on a few parts of their mobility that aren't impaired.

[daisybloomer]

Bobbie, that is wonderful to hear, especially your talent for knitting. You are a perfect example of someone who even though disabled still makes an effort to balance between the time on SL and finding other enjoyable things to do outside of it in RL along with your daily routine.

The only point I was trying to make in my original opinion was that those that have or don't have a disability not try to use that as an excuse to legitimize spending extra long periods of time in SL at the expense of neglecting RL. One example I can give you, is someone I use to know who was disabled who spent 8-10 hours in SL a day. That doesn't leave much room to do much else. It started to affect her physically and mentally and when asked why don't you switch things up a bit and have more of a balance with some RL things, she simply said because she was disabled and didn't have much more reaction, interest or motivation to explore anything non-SL related. In the end, her husband had to intervene and help her get more balanced in her life.

[irihapeti]

can know what you meaning daisy

is just that a loss of perspective that can end up being detrimental to a person, can affect able bodied people in the same way

while a person may use a disability as a excuse for losing perspective, able bodied find another excuse. Like cant sleep, cant get any job. got no money. If I leave my house somebody might maybe break in and steal my stuff. Nobody likes me in the RL. etc

[Laika Ravikumar]

Why does it matter how much time anyone spends on SL, surely it is up to them how they spend whatever time they have? Nobody should or indeed has the right to say how they think anyone should be on SL. You don't knoe what anyone else's circumstances are. If they want to be on here 24/7 it's entirely their choice. They may need company, just someone to talk to. Not everyone has family or indeed friens they can confide in. You can't judge everyone by your own standards. This may be a lifeline to people who don't have much in their lives. Live and let live.

[Drake1 Nightfire]

---

Bobbie Faulds wrote:

I have a store in SL so I spend time inworld and out working on items. I also like to RP and I'm an admin on the RP estate where I play. I can't physically spend more than 8 hours or so sitting at the computer because of the permanent damage sustained in an accident almost 3 years ago.

When I can't sit at the computer any longer, I'll stretch out on my bed and will usually stream video or watch movies while i knit...yes...knit. I've made scarves, cowls, finderless gloves, tops, hats, afghans, completely outfited my kitchen with dishcloths, etc.

I'll also read. Around my household, a Kindle is not a luxury item. Books are nice but you save a lot of paper with Kindles. Also, because of my injury, I'm unable to hod the weight of even a paperback anymore.

So, lots of activitie outside of SL. I'll occasionally go out to a movie, though not often since I'm on a fixed income. My caretaker has to drive since I can't anymore. I'll also go to the store for groceries but I'm always exhausted when i get home, another thing you have to consider. Just to look at me, you wouldn't thing there was anything wrong; true of many disabled. However, my stamina is not what it used to be before the accident. Going out involves getting into the car. Sounds easy enough, but try putting on and taking off a seatbelt when one arm doesn't work quite right. You'll see me walking around the store, but you don't see that the whole outside of my left leg is numb and my back is throbbing. So please, don't make assumptions about disabled based on a few parts of their mobility that aren't impaired.

---

I am the caretaker for my wife. I take her in the backyard a few times a week, weather permitting for some fresh air and sun. She does not do well with crowds of any sort. But she has her crosstitch and I do various crafting and most of the housework. We both enjoy Sl and both have work in it, i have a shop and she is a CSR for a big merchant inworld.

 

To get around the movie crowd thing we got a subscription to Netflix $8 a month for unlimited streaming videos and TV shows. Throw in the 48" Tv we got for Christmas and a snuggle on the couch and you have a very nice date night.

[Drake1 Nightfire]

---

daisybloomer wrote:

---

Drake1 Nightfire wrote:

And just how easy is it for a wheelchair bound person to get out and about in the winter with 4 feet of snow on the ground? Are you disabled? You do know there are thousands of types of disabilities, right? Take someone who is severely agoraphobic. They can barely walk outside of their house. FUlly functional body, terrifying fear. So, tell me, how do they explore the world? You are coming off as a very smug person telling others what to do with their lives.

---

I think you missed my point. I did not say they shouldn't be in SL period. I am saying that if they are disabled it is not a free pass to spend an even larger portion of their daily life in SL at the expense of RL. Both your examples of being wheelchair bound or agoraphobic have RL treatments and solutions. And if they still want to be in SL fine, but it does not mean just because of their conditions it is good for them to be in SL 80% of the time daily.

I do know quite a few people with disabilties and they try to make every day count. Most are not SL users. 

---

And yet, after 10 years of therapists and psycharitrists, my wife is still having panic attacks at the thought of going somewhere where there are more than a couple of people she doesnt know.

The world isn't your black and white daydream. Who the hell said people with disabilities are in SL 80% of the day? I would bet you would be hard pressed to find anyone that is in SL for 19 hours a day.

[Tari Landar]

---

daisybloomer wrote:

The only point I was trying to make in my original opinion was that those that have or don't have a disability not try to use that as an excuse to legitimize spending extra long periods of time in SL at the expense of neglecting RL. 

---

I understand where you're coming from, except that not a single person in the thread has stated they spend so much time in sl, they nlegect rl. Do those folks exist? Sure. Are they a majority? Absolutely not. And those types of people, who would negelect the important things and instead partake in one or more hobbies, instead, exist absolutely everywhere in life. Their vices are as varied as they are.

It seems that people are making the assumption that anyone who spends any amount of time they deem "too much" falls into the category of negelecting rl. I think that's a poor assumption, personally. I can tell you with 100% certainty that when my kids aren't here, because they do spend time with their grandma now and then, and I haven't got a lot of work or assignments to work on, I spend more time in sl. There have been numerous times when I would spend upwards of 60, 70 maybe even 80% of my day in sl. Why? Not to neglect rl, so get that thought right out of your mind. I did it...because I could, because I wanted to, and because I had something keeping me in sl for that long. There are loads of reasons why I would have, or just would, spend that much time in sl. They are reasons that should mean very little to anyone else. Regardless of the time I do spend in sl, I never neglect rl for sl. The majority of people would never do such a thing. Just because you "know of someone" who does, or read of someone who has, or whatever have you, doesn't mean that most people fit that category. You'll likely find exactly the opposite, actually, if you look past the assumptions.

As for someone being disabled and spending time in sl...since you have no clue what they are doing in sl, and you have no idea if they are indeed actually neglecting rl for sl...you can't really expect that people are going to blindly(pun intended, oh, I crack me up) accept that your definition of "too much time" or "neglecting rl for sl" is proper. I don't, and I'm as close to blind as one can be without being blind I may have a disability, and sometimes I may spend time in sl, maybe even too much time in sl,because attempting to do things in rl has proven to be an exercise in futility for that day. I can't drive, I walk everywhere(yes, even to the grocery store). Sometimes I can't even really go outside, because it's a bit dangerous when you can't see and no one is around to help you, and of course the government wants to jump through hoops before they will help you too...but that's neither here nor there. I do what I can, when I can, and if I haven't anything else to do in rl, I'll find something else to do. That might be video games(Destiny and Minecraft..ftw!!!..and I am terrible at driving in video games...terrible, never, ever ask me to drive. You should see the damage I cause in Watch Dogs), it might be spending time in sl doing whatever I want to enjoy, it might mean watching movies on netflix....Realy, it could be any number of things. All perfect for me, not all likely perfect for another, but none of them even remotely suggest I neglect rl. I always make sure my chores are done before I play, it's a rule in this house

[IvanBenjammin]

---

daisybloomer wrote:

Bobbie, that is wonderful to hear, especially your talent for knitting. You are a perfect example of someone who even though disabled still makes an effort to balance between the time on SL and finding other enjoyable things to do outside of it in RL along with your daily routine.

The only point I was trying to make in my original opinion was that those that have or don't have a disability not try to use that as an excuse to legitimize spending extra long periods of time in SL at the expense of neglecting RL. One example I can give you, is someone I use to know who was disabled who spent 8-10 hours in SL a day. That doesn't leave much room to do much else. It started to affect her physically and mentally and when asked why don't you switch things up a bit and have more of a balance with some RL things, she simply said because she was disabled and didn't have much more reaction, interest or motivation to explore anything non-SL related. In the end, her husband had to intervene and help her get more balanced in her life.

---

Ok, while we're telling anecdotal stories about people who may or may not exist:

I once knew this guy, who spent 100% of his time in RL.

He was a narcissitic, womanising alcoholic. His whole life revolved around the job he hated, socialising with friends, and trying to hook up with random bar skanks. He was pretty good at it, too - usually at least 3 women on the go at any one time. He drove drunk, all the time (because in this country, socialising is synonymous with getting wasted), hurt a lot of people, and bought a lot of shoes.

This RL balance of his didn't leave much room for anything else, including taking care of his dog, doing his share of housework and paying his share of the household bills.

I once knew this woman, who spent 60-70% of her time in SL. She made things, sold them for real money, and socialised with people from all over the world. Some of the time spent in SL was idling, in case a customer needed assistance, or she might be talking via voice and wireless headset while cooking. She developed skills in a craft, got to meet all sorts of interesting people, and managed a household at the same time. She didn't get out much, but she had plenty of friends, lots of experiences and didn't destroy her liver in the process.

 

[Darrius Gothly]

---

Pamela Galli wrote:

Same here -- there is no reason to separate my life into parts like that. My RL job is SL.

So how exactly would I go about separating my life into compartments?

---

Ziplock© baggies!

/me cackles and runs ....

[Darrius Gothly]

---

Drake1 Nightfire wrote:

To get around the movie crowd thing we got a subscription to Netflix $8 a month for unlimited streaming videos and TV shows. Throw in the 48" Tv we got for Christmas and a snuggle on the couch and you have a very nice date night.

---

Sounds mighty dang decent to me too.

[Charli Infinity]

Confrontational? Says the person who posted this first

---

Tari Landar wrote:

You do realize it literally takes seconds, minutes at most, to post things, right?

That doesn't equate to "hours" spent  in, or on, sl.

That said, I'm not sure why someone would care about how much time others spend on a hobby they enjoy. 

---

 

 

[Charli Infinity]

---

Tari Landar wrote:

Uhh...yeah, not currently using a TTS, ftr, so...typo queen ftw!!!

and more smileys, just because

:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

 

---

Ahh... nothing like excessive smileys "just because"

everyone knows you're burned when you have to desperately prove that you're not.

really immature defense mechanism

[Charli Infinity]

stereotypes aren't always bad like say asians are smart for example.

many gamers will jokingly say or openly admit they don't have a real life and spend most of their time gaming. there's pride in their geek culture and being a "real" gamer and it's certainly ok to ask how much time they spend on a certain game without people getting defensive.

somehow it's viewed as antagonistic here...

 

[Kelli May]

---

Charli Infinity wrote:

stereotypes aren't always bad like say asians are smart for example.

many gamers will jokingly say or openly admit they don't have a real life and spend most of their time gaming. there's pride in their geek culture and being a "real" gamer and it's certainly ok to ask how much time they spend on a certain game without people getting defensive.

somehow it's viewed as antagonistic here...

 

---

Good or bad, stereotypes are often inaccurate and unwelcome to those on the receiving end. Even stereotyping in a seemingly positive light can be a bad thing. Not all gay men have good fashion sense and a cutting, dry wit, nor do they all want to be seen that way. African-Americans don't necessarily want to be thought of as good basketball players. Reducing a person, or a set of people, to a handy label is a bad thing, even if that label says "good at something".

[Tari Landar]

---

Charli Infinity wrote:

---

Tari Landar wrote:

Uhh...yeah, not currently using a TTS, ftr, so...typo queen ftw!!!

and more smileys, just because

:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

 

---

Ahh... nothing like excessive smileys "just because"

everyone knows you're burned when you have to desperately prove that you're not.

really immature defense mechanism

---

You really are grasping for straws here.

I was not "burned", I made that post directly after making a lengthy post, because it was chock full of typos and if I don't explain when I am and am not using a TTS, people tend to focus way more on the typos than the message. It's not a defense mechanism in the least, it's an explantion. You try typing completely blind for a while

If all you've got to do is try and insult a blind person rather than actually debating your position, it would be quite easy for me to assume it is you who is "burned"...but I'm not going to assume that. I'll simply assume you have no solid ground on which to stand, so you'll find anything you can to use as a defense, rather than the most powerful tool of all...language.

[Drake1 Nightfire]

---

Charli Infinity wrote:

stereotypes aren't always bad like say asians are smart for example.

many gamers will jokingly say or openly admit they don't have a real life and spend most of their time gaming. there's pride in their geek culture and being a "real" gamer and it's certainly ok to ask how much time they spend on a certain game without people getting defensive.

somehow it's viewed as antagonistic here...

 

---

Stereotypes are always bad. Always. Let's use your shining example. " asians are smart " If that becomes the normal thinking for everyone on the planet then what happens to those asians who are not brilliant? They get ridiculed and bullied.

Most "gamers" would tear you a new one for calling them geeks. "Geeks are those nerds that play D&D all day." Um, excuse me but "Nerds are those weirdos that do nothing but maths all day." Oh wait, those are Asians.

[Darrius Gothly]

---

Drake1 Nightfire wrote:

Stereotypes are always bad. Always. [snip]

---

Well, yeah .. but .. 

Forumites loves us some dramahz!

[Dresden Ceriano]

---

Tari Landar wrote:

---

Charli Infinity wrote:

---

Tari Landar wrote:

Uhh...yeah, not currently using a TTS, ftr, so...typo queen ftw!!!

and more smileys, just because

:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

 

---

Ahh... nothing like excessive smileys "just because"

everyone knows you're burned when you have to desperately prove that you're not.

really immature defense mechanism

---

You really are grasping for straws here.

I was not "burned", I made that post directly after making a lengthy post, because it was chock full of typos and if I don't explain when I am and am not using a TTS, people tend to focus way more on the typos than the message. It's not a defense mechanism in the least, it's an explantion. You try typing completely blind for a while

If all you've got to do is try and insult a blind person rather than actually debating your position, it would be quite easy for me to assume it is you who is "burned"...but I'm not going to assume that. I'll simply assume you have no solid ground on which to stand, so you'll find anything you can to use as a defense, rather than the most powerful tool of all...language.

---

Like I suggested in my first post to this thread... consider the source.

...Dres