Do gay/bi women outnumber straight women in SL?

[sams Byron]

This is just my personal observation.

I've noticed the various club venues I've visited tend to have a fairly very high ratio of female avatars declaring themselves as bisexual or gay in their profile versus female avatars who do not (and I assume are straight).

On public beach sims, it seems to hover around 50-50. Non-gender specific regions, of course.

I'm curious, what are your observations? Have you found that straight women are a minority versus women with different (or have multiple) preferences at your regular hangout spot?

[Tex Monday]

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sams Byron wrote:

This is just my personal observation.

I've noticed the various club venues I've visited tend to have a fairly very high ratio of female avatars declaring themselves as bisexual or gay in their profile versus female avatars who do not (and I assume are straight).

On public beach sims, it seems to hover around 50-50. Non-gender specific regions, of course.

I'm curious, what are your observations? Have you found that straight women are a minority versus women with different (or have multiple) preferences at your regular hangout spot?

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Please remember that a good number of those female avatars are probably played by men...some who even live in their parent's basements eating cheetos and drinking diet sodas....:matte-motes-sunglasses-3:

[Christin73]

It does seem I run into a lot of lesbians and Bi girls on SL. Then again it depends on where in world you go. 

[Syo Emerald]

From plain population data of the real world: No, no they can't outnumber straight women. SL is not a typical gaymeeting point or something.

I believe 3 things are happening here, which lead to the observations you made:

1. Behind many female avatars are male users.

2. Some women are curious.

3. Some women are tired of the often primitive behavior they get from male avatars and/or find female avatars prettier than the male ones.

[Amethyst Jetaime]

I agree with Tex that a good many of the 'lesbians' you see are actually men in RL.  There are also straight women who say they are lesbians so men don' t bother them for sex because even if you put you aren't interested in slex in your profile, some men take it as a challenge.

[Dresden Ceriano]

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sams Byron wrote:

This is just my personal observation.

I've noticed the various club venues I've visited tend to have a fairly very high ratio of female avatars declaring themselves as bisexual or gay in their profile versus female avatars who do not

(and I assume are straight)

.

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Funny, I assume everyone is gay until they tell me differently.

...Dres

[Lucretia Brandenburg]

Aside from men playing Lesbians, and women who say they are Lesbians to avoid being hit on, there are straight women who happen to be Lesbians in SL. Would they ever pursue a Lesbian relationship in RL? Doubtful, many I have met are happily heterosexually married in RL, but SL is a place that can be used as an alternative to RL, and for some, that means straight men who are gay in SL, and straight women who are Lesbians in SL.

[Perrie Juran]

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Lucretia Brandenburg wrote:

Aside from men playing Lesbians, and women who say they are Lesbians to avoid being hit on, there are straight women who happen to be Lesbians in SL. Would they ever pursue a Lesbian relationship in RL? Doubtful, many I have met are happily heterosexually married in RL, but SL is a place that can be used as an alternative to RL, and for some, that means straight men who are gay in SL, and straight women who are Lesbians in SL.

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Marvin gets sooooooooooooooooooooooooo confused sometimes.

[Canoro Philipp]

when people go to a place where they are completely unknown they have the chance to reinvent themselves, sometimes they get out that inner self that they cant in real life because legal, religious, social consequences, that may be the reason why people experiement with their sexuality in second life in a way that may be impossible for them to try in real life.

[Orca Flotta]

I'm like 90% straight in RL, happily married to a man since 15 years ... and a 150% lesbian in SL.

Why? All the reasons we have heard: curiosity, better sex, more trust, living an alternative lifestyle. Male avies are primitives I mostly wanna avoid ... only that not getting hit on doesn't really work out, does it? Seeing a lesbian woman is a sporting challenge for many guys. "Just you wait, once you had me you'll never again look at girls!" :smileysad:

 

For women like me I coined the phrase SLesbian. :smileyhappy:

 

[Perrie Juran]

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Canoro Philipp wrote:

when people go to a place where they are completely unknown they have the chance to reinvent themselves, sometimes they get out that inner self that they cant in real life because legal, religious, social consequences, that may be the reason why people experiement with their sexuality in second life in a way that may be impossible for them to try in real life.

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Actually I do understand this. 

 

 

And I think it is awesome.

 

It's poor Marvin who gets so confused.

[Beth Quander]

Ha!  Just yesterday I had reason to say to someone that I assume everyone in SL is Bi until they tell me differently.  So yes, perhaps a non-straight default is an opportune place to start from  :-)

[Beth Quander]

Really like your comment Canora – personally I do love the experimental opportunities of SL more than anything else in here.  And I adore Orca’s SLesbians as a prime example.

 

I thought it was interesting that Sam’s original question was about preferences shown in profiles at your regular hangout spot (and club venues and beaches were mentioned). And I also jumped to the conclusion (correct me if I assume too much) that ‘hangout spot’ here was taken to be synonymous with ‘pick up joint’.  SL is a big place and you take your profile everywhere with you.  And my regular hangout spots are anything but pick up joints (which might account for my current ‘Coatrack’ status as per other threads in here).  So rats, is my avi’s sexuality something I’m expected to play to the max wherever I go?  Is my sexuality my primary feature in SL?  That seems like more pressure than in RL.  Do other people feel that?  If that is an expectation I’ll admit right now I’m going to fail to live up to it  :-)

[Dillon Levenque]

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Beth Quander wrote:

Really like your comment Canora – personally I do love the experimental opportunities of SL more than anything else in here.  And I adore Orca’s SLesbians as a prime example.

 

 So rats, is my avi’s sexuality something I’m expected to play to the max wherever I go?  Is my sexuality my primary feature in SL? 

That seems like more pressure than in RL.  Do other people feel that?  If that

is

an expectation I’ll admit right now I’m going to fail to live up to it  :-)

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Nope, at least not in my opinion nor the opinions of most of the people I know. I freely admit that my profile makes my transgenderedness clear, but one's gender or variety of genderness doesn't have anything directly to do with sexuality. I put that comment in my very first profile because I was hoping I'd look at least relatively female and I wanted to avoid any more mis-understandings than were absolutely necessary.

I will say, as I've said ad nauseum here and elsewhere, that the fact I can travel in Second Life, meet, converse with, and get to know anyone without the slightest issue being made of my transgenderness was something I had not expected. And is a big reason I love this place.

[Beth Quander]

Oh, sorry – I probably should have been more explicit.  I was trying to deliberately use the term ‘sexuality’ and not ‘gender’ as I specifically didn’t want to mix the two up (I’m very, very aware that that way a big bog of sticky situations lies…)  My bad.

But that notwithstanding, Dillon - I’m right there with you on the joy of gender-not-an-issue that abounds in many, many parts of SL.  I’ve been so lucky to stumble across so many places where my RL/SL gender and/or sexuality have never even come up.  Well, stumble isn’t the right word.  What’s happened is I’ve found one place, been directed to another, heard people talking about a third etc.  So my experience of SL has most certainly been one of general acceptance and completely wonderful people.  I’d wish that on everyone coming through.

[jwenting]

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Syo Emerald wrote:

From plain population data of the real world: No, no they can't outnumber straight women. SL is not a typical gaymeeting point or something.

I believe 3 things are happening here, which lead to the observations you made:

1. Behind many female avatars are male users.

2. Some women are curious.

3. Some women are tired of the often primitive behavior they get from male avatars and/or find female avatars prettier than the male ones.

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hmm, not quite so sure about your first conclusion that it's impossible. SL allows people to investigate their dreams/fetishes and do things that RL would be impossible for them because of social pressure, legal hurdles, etc. etc.. In many places being homosexual or bisexual is far less accepted than people think it is.

While you won't maybe get arrested and executed for it (there do exist places where they do that) it's quite possible to lose your job (on a pretense often), lose friends, be disowned by your family, etc. etc.

So I'd not be surprised if there are a lot of people out there with homosexual or bisexual fantasies they're incapable of exercising RL. Those people in SL have no such restrictions.

[jwenting]

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Amethyst Jetaime wrote:

I agree with Tex that a good many of the 'lesbians' you see are actually men in RL.  There are also straight women who say they are lesbians so men don' t bother them for sex because even if you put you aren't interested in slex in your profile, some men take it as a challenge.

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And a lot of people wrongly assume that any woman who says they don't want to have slex with them must be a man playing a female avatar.

That's a major reason for the idiotic assumption that 90% of female avatars are played by men (the other being that anyone refusing to cam or voice with you must be a man).

[Nox Vought]

I don't know about clubs since I don't go to them much anymore but there definitely seems to be more women on SecondLife period. Maybe some stats out there? Though I guess people can lie. Eh.

I think I have 2 straight women on my list?? The others are bisexual or lesbian. I get approached way more by women than men and it's crazy because I have nothing on my profile alluding to me being lesbian or bisexual, and this happens in random places. I honestly think a lot of them are men wanting to see some hot lesbian pixel action. Oh yeahhh! *Macho Man voice*

[Phil Deakins]

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Orca Flotta wrote:

For women like me I coined the phrase SLesbian. :smileyhappy: 

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That's not a phrase. It's a word

[Phil Deakins]

My observations strongly suggest that the percentage of lesbian female avatars in SL is much higher than in RL It's completely unrealistic. Some good reasons have been given and the biggest one by far, imo, is men playing women because sex between women generally appeals to men.

It's for that reason that some men in SL, including me, really need to know, or at least have a strong feeling, that a female avatar actually has a female person at the keyboard, before being comfortable with a romantic relationship. Some men can completely separate SL from RL and see only the female avatars. They can be happy enough having intimate relationships with female avatars knowing full well that the person at the keyboard, with whom they are being romantic and intimate, may be that often lampooned fat, unshaven, sweaty bloke in a grubby, dirty vest. I can't do that, and I think that many men also can't do it.

From what I've read in the forums, some women object to the idea of needing to prove their gender. It's an unfortunate consequence of men playing females, but I can't fault the attitude. Neither should those women fault men for needing to know.

Incidentally, it does happen the other way round, where women play male avatars and have romances with female avatars. I remember a thread where a lengthy relationship between a male and female avatar turned out to be between two RL women. When the real woman found out that she'd been deceived, she started a thread about it. It's uncommon that way round but it does happen.

[Orca Flotta]

Orca Flotta wrote:

For women like me I coined the phrase SLesbian. **Only uploaded images may be used in postings**://secondlife.i.lithium.com/i/smilies/16x16_smiley-happy.gif" border="0" alt=":smileyhappy:" title="Smiley Happy" /> 

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That's not a phrase. It's a word **Only uploaded images may be used in postings**://secondlife.i.lithium.com/i/smilies/16x16_smiley-wink.gif" border="0" alt=":smileywink:" title="Smiley Wink" />

 

Oh my. And here I thought I cleverly borrowed some elegant wordsmithing from natural born englishers. Of course SLesbian isn't a phrase but a ... hm ... wait a moment ... ugh .... a term! Can we agree on that?

BTW, what's wrong with anyone not being in SL primarily for pixel sex or founding virtual families or hooking up potential SLex partners? And why is it so important for many ppl to know other people's sexual preferences anyway? Want me to wear a pink triangle on my sleeve? They tried it in Germany between 1939-45; in the end it didn't  make them too many friends.

In my profile I state somewhere that for me SL= Second Life, not SL=Sex Life. But nowhere did I state my sexual preference. And I neither have a cam nor a microphone. Does that make me just outdated or a bad person?

[Suspiria Finucane]

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Orca Flotta wrote:

Orca Flotta wrote:

For women like me I coined the phrase SLesbian. **Only uploaded images may be used in postings**://secondlife.i.lithium.com/i/smilies/16x16_smiley-happy.gif" border="0" alt=":smileyhappy:" title="Smiley Happy" /> 

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That's not a phrase. It's a word **Only uploaded images may be used in postings**://secondlife.i.lithium.com/i/smilies/16x16_smiley-wink.gif" border="0" alt=":smileywink:" title="Smiley Wink" />

 

Oh my. And here I thought I cleverly borrowed some elegant wordsmithing from natural born englishers. Of course SLesbian isn't a phrase but a ... hm ... wait a moment ... ugh .... a

term!

Can we agree on that?

BTW, what's wrong with anyone not being in SL primarily for pixel sex or founding virtual families or hooking up potential SLex partners? And why is it so important for many ppl to know other people's sexual preferences anyway? Want me to wear a pink triangle on my sleeve? They tried it in Germany between 1939-45; in the end it didn't  make them too many friends.

In my profile I state somewhere that for me SL= Second Life, not SL=Sex Life. But nowhere did I state my sexual preference. And I neither have a cam nor a microphone. Does that make me just outdated or a bad person?

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I consider it SLanshumanism but then again, its not a word either. 

[Tex Monday]

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Phil Deakins wrote:

It's for that reason that some men in SL, including me, really need to know, or at least have a strong feeling, that a female avatar actually has a female person at the keyboard, before being comfortable with a romantic relationship. Some men can completely separate SL from RL and see only the female avatars. They can be happy enough having intimate relationships with female avatars knowing full well that the person at the keyboard, with whom they are being romantic and intimate, may be that often lampooned fat, unshaven, sweaty bloke in a grubby, dirty vest. I can't do that, and I think that many men also can't do it.

From what I've read in the forums, some women object to the idea of needing to prove their gender. It's an unfortunate consequence of men playing females, but I can't fault the attitude. Neither should those women fault men for needing to know.

 

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I can totally understand your feelings about this, Phil. There are lots of men who get all freaked out when they realize that the gorgeous female they're with is really a guy. Personally, I don't care. I had relationships (Slex, mostly) with women in SL who were really men. As long as they play the part properly, what's the difference? And a large number of the people in my "family" are sissy maids. Since I made them that way( :matte-motes-sunglasses-3:) it would be horrible if I got freaked out every time we got slexual (is that a word?).

And as for the "idiotic assumption" that 90% of females are males in SL..I will admit that the number probably isn't that high, but I would venture to guess that it's over 60%.

[Syo Emerald]

From a statistic viewpoint still not possible, that even with the "secret ones" they would outnumber (meaning a significant number over 50%) the straight women in SL. Its not realistic.

Lets take the whole world population. Take the ones away that are not female, then those who don't have internet acess, then those who don't care about SL and then those who play a nonfemale avatar. You are left with a pretty small group compared to the world population.

Since SL is not a Gay/lebsian club, its not made to attract a giant amount of them. Also SL is a very specific thing....its just attractive to a rather small group of people and therefore its even harder to outnumber the major sexual orientation, as long as SL is also attractive for straight women. (Note: Thats why the many lesbian avatars in SL must have different reasons for their existance).

[Tex Monday]

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Syo Emerald wrote:

From a statistic viewpoint still not possible, that even with the "secret ones" they would outnumber (meaning a significant number over 50%) the straight women in SL. Its not realistic.

Lets take the whole world population. Take the ones away that are not female, then those who don't have internet acess, then those who don't care about SL and then those who play a nonfemale avatar. You are left with a pretty small group compared to the world population.

Since SL is not a Gay/lebsian club, its not made to attract a giant amount of them. Also SL is a very specific thing....its just attractive to a rather small group of people and therefore its even harder to outnumber the major sexual orientation, as long as SL is also attractive for straight women. (Note: Thats why the many lesbian avatars in SL must have different reasons for their existance).

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I think you need to take into account that a lot of people in SL play ALTs. I have one other AV (who happens to be female) and you are allowed 8 per main account. So it is possible that a large number (maybe my 60% was off as well) of female AVs are played by men.