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Should I stay quiet until i'm 18?

Tailsy Loxely

By Tailsy Loxely,
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Tailsy Loxely

Tailsy Loxely

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I was apart of the grid merge I think like two years ago and haven't spoken to anyone other than my teen grid pals. I feel like I shouldn't make any new friends until I'm 18. It's only fair right? If I meet someone they will most likely be an adult and I think it's only fair that they are speaking to another adult. What do you think?

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Madelaine McMasters

Madelaine McMasters

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Tailsy Loxely wrote:

I was apart of the grid merge I think like two years ago and haven't spoken to anyone other than my teen grid pals. I feel like I shouldn't make any new friends until I'm 18. It's only fair right? If I meet someone they will most likely be an adult and I think it's only fair that they are speaking to another adult. What do you think?

Welcome to the forums, Tailsy.

I bet you speak to adults in RL, so why not here? Limiting adults to speaking only to other adults hardly seems fair.

As a teen, I expect you are naive, silly, full of unnecessary angst and sometimes driven by hormones.  As adults, we're prolly not all that interesting, as we think we're no longer naive, silly, full of unnecessary angst or sometimes driven by hormones.

Be careful, use common sense, listen to your inner voice and have fun.

:-)

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Ikiro Tryce

Ikiro Tryce

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I would probably advise somebody who is 13-14 to stick with teens, just because of safety issues. But I don't think that older teens should really have this problem, just because you know how to be sensible and fairly mature. (And I'm assuming it'd be a non issue anyways, since people 13-15 have to stay within specific sims.)

 

But somebody who is 16-17, I don't think that's a problem. For the most part, a 17 year old is as mature as an 18 year old, and a 16 year old isn't that far off. And, from personal experience, I've only been 18 for a little over a month and I've had no problem getting along with people and starting conversations. The only thing you'd have to worry about is somebody mistakenly hitting on you, I suppose, but I doubt people are going to general sims to pick people up. Don't worry, it's not like adults are talking about anything all that advanced; it's mostly just the same stuff, like politics, daily life, jokes, things like that.

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Deannah Dinzel

Deannah Dinzel

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No, I'm 21, but in real life I have a ton of high school friends.  The only difference that you may face is maturity differences.  I think meeting a variety of different people of ages relatively close to yours is a good experience.  Of course, keep your guard up and don't let any weirdos come into your life and keep boundries up with any men you meet, even if they're your age.  

Feel free to IM me in world, we can be friends! :)

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Clarissa Lowell

Clarissa Lowell

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My main worry would be for your safety if you told people you are a teen. Also you know it's against tos for someone else to ask if you are, right? Just so you know that.

But a decent person with no bad motives wouldn't probably care what age you are. We are all just pixels here in Second Life. Unless you are someone who only talks about (your) real life or the other person is someone who only talks about theirs. (Then you might run into "we have nothing in common.")

PS I'm an adult since a long time ago.  ;)

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Parhelion Palou

Parhelion Palou

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I only looked at the TOS and Community Standards, but I didn't see anything that says you cannot ask for RL information. That said, back when SL was more of a community, it was at the very least considered rude to do so and commonly believed to be against the TOS. Either way, nobody is required to answer personal questions.

My response to someone who's persistent about asking for RL information would be to block/mute and ban.

To the OP: Sure, talk with adults. We're mostly harmless. :smileywink:

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Madelaine McMasters

Madelaine McMasters

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Qwalyphi Korpov wrote:

Parhelion Palou wrote:

I only looked at the TOS and Community Standards, but I didn't see anything that says you cannot ask for RL information. That said, back when SL was more of a community, it was at the very least considered rude to do so and commonly believed to be against the TOS. Either way, nobody is required to answer personal questions.

My response to someone who's persistent about asking for RL information would be to block/mute and ban.

To the OP: Sure, talk with adults. We're mostly harmless. :smileywink:

Agree that it's considered rude at least by some to ask for RL info.  However when I started the first two most common questions were: 

 
  1. How old are you?
  2. Where are you from?

 

Yep. Ages ago, when I dropped into my first text chat rooms, I was immediately bombarded with "asl?" (age, sex, location). I routinely answered "old, no, here"

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Perrie Juran

Perrie Juran

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Ikiro Tryce wrote:

Why would it be against the TOS to ask somebody their age? o-o That just seems silly to me. I know that age-based discrimination is against the TOS, but I hardly see how asking somebody how old they are would be offensive.

It appears to have been reworked some but when first posted this was a point of contention:

"Don’t ever tell anyone online your “real life” information, including your real full name or your parents’ names, home address, school name or location, phone/mobile numbers, social security & credit card numbers, or anything that shows what you look like such as a photo, video or webcam link. For your safety, we do not allow other users to search for you by age or any other personally identifiable information, and it is important to keep this information private. If someone asks you for this info, don’t give it to them! Report the incident inworld at Help > Report Abuse."

http://wiki.secondlife.com/wiki/Linden_Lab_Official:Teen_Safety_Guidelines

The original wording was much more direct "If someone asks your age, AR them."

However there has never actually been anything in the TOS ttbomk that forbade asking any one their age.

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Janelle Darkstone

Janelle Darkstone

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Madelaine McMasters wrote:

I bet you speak to adults in RL, so why not here? Limiting adults to speaking only to other adults hardly seems fair.

As a teen, I expect you are naive, silly, full of unnecessary angst and sometimes driven by hormones.  As adults, we're prolly not all that interesting, as we think we're no longer naive, silly, full of unnecessary angst or sometimes driven by hormones.

Be careful, use common sense, listen to your inner voice and have fun.

:-)

 

As a teenager myself, I approve of this message.

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emmettcullen93

emmettcullen93

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i have had people think i was a female behind me avatar and even believe me to be a 30 year plus old male. grant it you may not believe me saying this but i am a male 18 years old and i have plenty of 40+ year old friends in RL and SL. so i find on reason to not stay quiet. i say you have the right ot meet new ppl so pursue it. it is your second life enjoy it.! :) and dont let nobody let you think different.

Don't let anyone think less of you because you are young (1 timothy 4:12)

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Perrie Juran

Perrie Juran

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Qwalyphi Korpov wrote:

I can appreciate what LL was trying to do there. Perhaps when the teen grid was separate it was workable.  Maybe all the adults were trained to never inquire about a residents age.  After the merge the situation would have been absurd.

 
  • You can ask people about their ages and other normal questions. 
  • We've set it up so you have no way of knowing which residents are teens. 
  • We've told all the teens that if you ask them how old they are they should AR you. 
  • Enjoy.

I think we all understand that the point of this is that a teen should report anyone who is trying to find out who they actually are and I do hope that simply asking someone how old they are is not considered an offense.  It's how I respond after I know that is the issue.

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Ariel Vuissent

Ariel Vuissent

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I think there's no reason for you to not be able to speak to people over the age of 18. You don't even have to tell anyone your age. You're required to stick to general areas because of your age, and forbidden from engaging in "adult" roleplay in any way. That's it, really. Nothing says you can't talk to adults about things other than "adult" topics, and I don't consider it "unfair" to do so. It might edge into "unfair" if you talk with someone who's obviously flirting with you and hoping to take things further, and you don't discourage them. Notice I say *might* - and "discourage" doesn't mean mentioning your age, just that you should let them know you're not interested. But really, intelligent people do not go to General areas looking to pick people up, so...

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Eileen Fellstein

Eileen Fellstein

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Because you just stay quiet at home too?

;)

Just be yourself and enjoy. If you're not comfortable talking, don't, but IMO you have every right to. I was brought up with the whole 'children should be seen and not heard' thing quoted as if it were scipture. Well, guess what. It isn't, lol.

This asking ages sub-topic (should probably be a seperate topic actually). To me it would seam pretty irrisponsible for people that date and sometimes enjoy adult activities not to inquire about age of consent, knowing there are minors sharing the grid before things move along too far. Not only for both parties protection, but to avoid someone being majorly disappointed.

 

I did post a topic about it once in fact. I found it very curious that so many people will ask RL gender yet they never ask if the person is even an adult.

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Perrie Juran

Perrie Juran

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Eileen Fellstein wrote:

 

This asking ages sub-topic (should probably be a seperate topic actually). To me it would seam pretty irrisponsible for people that date and sometimes enjoy adult activities not to inquire about age of consent, knowing there are minors sharing the grid before things move along too far. Not only for both parties protection, but to avoid someone being majorly disappointed.

 

I did post a topic about it once in fact. I found it very curious that so many people will ask RL gender yet they never ask if the person is even an adult.

Well, if you never go to PG SIM"s you wont encounter teens (or at least shouldn't) and you'd sure find out quick enough the first time you invited them to a Mature or Adult SIM.

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Melita Magic

Melita Magic

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Not allowed to ask in SL if someone is a teen. That was true when the merge happened. Maybe that has changed today. 

I would think anyone in Zindra should be very careful.

As for the teen's original question, I had middle aged friends when I was a teen or even a child. I was always in community theater. It wasn't odd. I've always been able to relate to people from all backgrounds, as long as they are open to me I'm open to them.

My advice online would be don't be TOO open. No need to stop talking completely though. That seems extreme.

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