Quinn Morani

Pep wrote: @Mags: I suppose you think that Sir Anthony Hopkins is a cannibal too? Pep (Get real; SL is a cartoon world filled with lots of people that lie, cheat and steal - and a few that cry about it.) It's also filled with some very caring, honest people that I've have the great honor and privilege to get to know.

Off topic for this thread? Of course not. What could possibly be more relevant to strengthening the community than a conversation about how we relate to one another and build friendships in SL? I'm so glad you posted this here. I think you've hit on something very important about SL's ability to strip away societal barriers and simply get to know a person for who they are—their character—with no preconceived notions or prejudices. As you said, it makes it easier to just relate person to person. Dillon, you and I have had conversation before about tolerance in SL, and I've said in another thread that I think one of the beautiful things about SL is the ability to become friends with people you would never have crossed paths with in RL. I just tracked down that thread and this is what I said then: "Even if I'm not personally engaged in their areas of interest within SL, I treasure the diverse friendships I've made and appreciate the glimpses those friends offer into their worlds. These are friends I'd never have made if SL wasn't exactly what it is." So your point about friendships that might otherwise never have been is spot on. At least, that's been my experience. I like getting to know the person behind the avatar. To me, that's what drives friendship. And community. Which brings us full circle to the reason this thread still exists. PS: I have it on pretty good authority that your friend appreciated the opportunity your candid conversation offered to build on a friendship, but regrets having forgotten to invite you to jump on the couch! :smileywink:

What are my plans for April 29? Dee, that's over two weeks away! I'm lucky if I know what I'm doing tomorrow, most of the time. Your idea is a good one, though. Good thinking, planning early. I hope you get a lot of clubs participating! ETA: And of course I'll plan to attend. All that backup dancing for Lillie will come in handy when I show everyone my moves on International Dance Day.

Evangeline, that's the beauty of a forum like this—we can all share our opinions and have meaningful discussion about them. You make a good point that it depends what you consider cheating. Ultimately, everyone has to consult their own conscience as to what constitutes crossing the line. There was thread a while back (I think on the old forum) about whether dancing with someone in SL might be considered cheating, and I believe the general consensus was that it depends on the intent. Dancing or shopping—or even good-natured flirting—in and of themselves are social, harmless fun. Heck, even I have done that, in both SL and RL. In fact one of my RL very best friends is a male I've known most of my life, and Zeke is very included in that friendship. They gray area is when such relationships start to become more than just friendship. When you treat it as an exclusive relationship, when you hide it from your RL spouse or partner, when sex is involved, then I'd consider it being unfaithful. Regarding your question specifically about porn, in my opinion, the difference between porn and an SL relationship is that in SL, another very real person is involved. You are spending time building a connection with a person who is also building a connection with you. It's a two-way relationship, as opposed to a one-way outlet. Now, having said all that, it's all only my opinion. And if there is one thing SL has in spades, it's a rich diversity of opinions. It's not at all my place to tell anyone else how to live their SL, and in fact I love the education that I receive from hanging out with people who see things differently than I do.

Actually, on further reflection I feel compelled to take a little stronger stand on this. I said I'm not comfortable imposing my values on others and that's true, in the sense that I will never judge others for the choices they make. But as to the question of whether someone in an SL relationship is being unfaithful to their RL partner, I have to give my honest opinion as "yes" unless the RL partner knows about and consents to the SL relationship. And they are also being "unfaithful" to the SL partner if the SL partner is unaware of the person's RL marital/relationship status.

DQ Darwin wrote: My most recent additions to my friends have come from the old forums. They are a great group full of life and fun to which I count myself lucky to have met them. I sure count myself lucky too, Dee. I surely do! DQ Darwin wrote: Oh and if you are near me expect an invite to my dance hud take it or leave it as you choose. I’m not sure why I do that but that’s me I guess. I love getting your dance invites. With all the events that have been taking place recently I keep thinking that I should get a dance hud of my own, but I keep justifying not doing because "I don't have to worry about it; Dee will have a dance ready."

That's a good question, Mags, and not one that is cleanly answered. It's easy for me to say I'm faithful to Zeke when we have a strong foundation to our relationship, but I'm not comfortable imposing my values on others when I don't know the specifics of their situation. Having had some candid conversations on this topic inworld with friends both male and female, I have to agree that people can get creative in how they justify their actions. But also as a result of those conversations I know that there are some RL situations I have a lot of empathy for. Regardless of the personal choices people make, I have the most respect for the ones who are honest about it. I think the lie is more harmful to a relationship than the infidelity.

I didn't know much at all about SL when I joined. I certainly had no preconceived notion of it as a place to find relationships and "adult" activities. When I first joined, I had heard of SL through a professional trade association I belong to which at the time had their own SL registration portal. They were seeking volunteers to participate in an in-world training class that would be broadcast live at a RL conference session, to demonstrate SL's potential for virtual classrooms. I did not join at that time, but I became intrigued about the the possibilities of virtual worlds for job training. Eventually my curiosity got the better of me and I created my first account.

Add me to the column of those who choose to remain faithful to their RL spouse. It may seem easy to brush off what you see on the screen as only being virtual, but SL is heady stuff and the emotional intimacy shared with the person behind the avatar can be very real. I don't want to share that with anyone but Zeke. For me, I want my SL to be something I can share with Zeke on the very rare occasions he logs in, not something I would feel compelled to hide from him. And oddly enough, I may be partnerless during most of my SL logins, but I am hardly ever alone. I have good friends who are important to me. I am never bored.

Dillon Levenque wrote: Bitsy Buccaneer wrote: How people who aren't creators manage to be so busy in SL is beyond me. Doll-dressing is something to do when I log in. That's all. I'd gladly trade that for friendships that weren't one-sided. Bitsy, there are ways to have friends that aren't 'sided' at all. The SLadies Who Lunch (featured in this very subforum) are an example of that. Most of the ladies know each other, some are in each others friend's lists, some might even be very close friends. But really the group is just a bunch of people who have a good time together. I have several friends who are DJ's and that schedules a lot of my time: going to their gigs. I am in some groups that tend to have a lot going on (as noted above). That's why my SL is busy. My time is limited and there are frequently more things to do than hours in which to do them. Quinn is clearly in the same situation. One more thing: it takes me a really really long time to get dressed if I'm trying anything new. I've seen your looks; maybe part of the difference in our 'free time' is that you just have a much better idea of what to wear and how to wear it. Dillon's point that I highlighted in bold is exactly the case for me. It's not that I'm so busy in SL, it's that the time I have available in SL is limited due to RL job, family, friends, and other commitments. So the hour or two that I'm able to spend inworld a few nights a week have become more and more occupied as I've added friends and found events that I like to attend with those friends. Especially when those friends are the ones DJing or performing or hosting. That's hardly a complaint... I only wish I had more hours available for SL so I could spend more time developing individual friendships with people I've come to think very highly of, which for me is the biggest reason to keep coming back to SL. I also echo what Dillon said about the SLadies Who Lunch group. They've been such a fun group to hang around with. It seems there is always something interesting going on when a few of those members are online. Individually some of the group members are good friends, but collectively it's a fun, lighthearted group.

Willow Danube wrote: <snip> I know that I don't want to have just another casual chat on local chat but a meaningful conversation of the person I am with at that time. <snip> I'm more at ease talking to the person at a person to person level than,say, saying something quirky and witty at a group conversation... Willow, I could have written those statements. I feel exactly the same way. I've always felt more comfortable getting to know people individually than being witty in a group conversation. I like taking the time to interact with people one-on-one, and that sometimes feels impossible in a group setting.

Monica, I just wanted to say that I'm glad you have found value in the new forums. It's unfortunate about your previous experiences here. Surprisingly, the vast majority of people on my friend list now are people I met in the forums. Despite the hostility that has seemed so rampant, there are many nice people here.

No opening line, just a pic of the guy's RL naked hard-on. That's when I was a noob. I learned the hard way not to accept pics from random strangers!

Most excellent idea, Hippie! I'll be sure to search for the group and join when I next get inworld. I can't wait for Hippiestock 2012!

I don't think I've ever actually seen a live armadillo. Just roadkill. :smileyindifferent:

Lia Abbot wrote: BTW anyone know why the posts are not hitting my e-mail? It seems to be set up, but nothings coming through. Any advice gratefullty accepted. My Settings --> Subscriptions & Bookmarks --> Options Make sure "Automatically subscribe to topics/posts" is checked, then set the options on the rest of the page to your preferences. You can also subscribe to individual threads. At the top of the thread above the first post select Topic Options --> Subscribe OR, when you are replying to a thread, check the "Email me when someone replies" box on the right side of the page. This should be checked by default if you set it globally under My Settings, otherwise you can just remember to check it individually for threads you reply to that you want to continue to follow.

Lia Abbot wrote: Hiya Quinn! I missed you all too, but my priorities have been somewhat changed recently. The house is great, but needs a lot of cosmetic work. Our bedroom was floor to ceiling wood panelling. Whoever installed it did what some installers do and put a date on it. I'm not telling you what the date was, but it was exactly eleven days after two guys called Neil and Buzz took a stroll a long way from here! Now it's gone, the walls are painted, the floors laid and the next project looms. Thank you for the kind words Quinn, it's nice to know I was missed. Huggggggs. /me whispers, "That was before I was born," then flees! Hugs to you too, Lia. It really is good to see you back here. I hope we'll see a bit more of you now.

Suddenly a very personal connection for me with this... I just learned tonight that a friend I've known almost my whole life has been diagnosed with melanoma that has metastasized to his lung. Very low chance of response to treatment. He and his family are on a RL RFL team. That made me think of this thread and smile at all that people are doing for this great cause.

So THAT explains the conversation I saw between you two on Twitter earlier!

LIA!!!!! Lia, Lia, Lia!!!!! Welcome back to the forum, it's about #@$%@ time you showed yourself around here!!! I have been thinking about you and was thisclose to dropping you an IM inworld to let you know you've been missed. You must have been reading my mind, because now here you are! True story: I just got home from work and was heading back toward the bedroom to change when I saw your name appear in my email (in my phone) for this thread. I stopped in my tracks, grinned big, and made a beeline for the computer to respond. How was the move, btw? All settled now? PS: Did I mention, WELCOME BACK!!!! :smileyvery-happy::smileyvery-happy::smileyvery-happy:

Sorry I missed it! I was trying to get caught up on some work last night and do our taxes. But I made absolutely NO headway because those guys on Twitter kept distracting me with their tweets and luring me into the conversation! By the time they all left to go inworld and catch Gypsy's gig, I was still left with a pile of work to attend to. I blame Dee, Lillie, Ima, Nat, and Suspiria for making me miss Gypsy's gig. ETA: Is this new? I just typed : ( (but without the space in the middle) and when I posted it autocorrected to the sad smiley. Yay!

Dillon Levenque wrote: Darrius Gothly wrote: I was even thinking it could become a Community Project by allowing others to come in and design rooms of their own. That would open it up to many different visions, styles and experiences too. It'll take some more thinking and planning, but off-hand I don't see any reason why it couldn't show up someday soon. I want an LM just as soon as it's done! I was just going to post the same request, but then Dillon beat me to it. LM please when you're ready to show it off!

It's great to see this thread back, Hippie. My volunteer time is centered more in RL than SL. Just copying what I wrote about my RL volunteer activities from the old thread: IN RL, I was until about a year ago a volunteer tutor with an adult literacy organization. These days, I volunteer my professional expertise with an association that I actively participate in, helping others get started in my field and teaching them what I know. I also have been for many years a volunteer alumni interviewer for graduating high school students applying to my alma mater.

Rhonda, since you mention "Strengthening the Community" I'm going to take this opportunity to plug the fact that a new version exists in this new forum to continue the great conversation, although by now it's probably too buried for anyone to find it. Here's the link: Strengthening the SL Community (revisted) As for shoes, that's actually a great point. As our own experiences have been evolving, so too have the skills of creators and the technology available to them. I personally haven't been in SL long enough to witness dramatic changes in the quality of what's available, but I can definitely see it when people post older photos. Sometimes progress really is a good thing!

I keep reading other people talking about Wasted spamming the forum. I haven't seen a single post from him yet in the new forum, so either I'm spending far less time here than I used to, or the mods are very speedy about getting rid of his stuff. I believe the latter is true, but sadly, so is the former.