Snugs McMasters discusses building a successful Umpire community

[Snugs McMasters]

Snugs McMasters, Lighthouse Keeper's Lead Conscience, Forgotten City

What's your favorite part of your sim? What inspires you?
Before I answer that question, I'd like to highlight a spelling error in the title of one of the copycat vampire OP's being shoveled into the forum by "Linden Lab". In the thread "Suzanna Soyinka discusses building a succcesful vampire community" Linden Lab seems to treat spelling in much the same way it treats the forum.

Back to your question, although Forgotten City is a marvelous sim, I'd rather discuss the complete lack of baseball sims in SL. I can't count the number of Vampire sims here, both because I have no interest in trying and because those things would bite me if I did. But golly, if there was an Umpire sim, I'd be mighty inspired!

Do you have any tips for organizing and managing people around a successful Second Life location?
Oh, I get it, you're trying to pump me for advice without paying my Umpire fee. Well, I won't play that game, instead I'll give you some how-not-to tips:

• Make promises, then break them... slowly. Resist the urge to kill hope quickly. Savor your lack of effort.
• Be arbitrary and capricious. Don't show your hand by being consistent.
• Eliminate the positives. They're the ones with no axe to grind. They're also the most dangerous, at least you can see the axe coming.
• Tell people their voices are being heard, but don't tell them that only happens in your nightmares. Again, there's no reason to rush failure.
• Respect everybody's opinions equally by ignoring them all. If you must value one opinion over another, make sure it's for reasons unrelated to the topic.
• Play favorites. This seems inconsistent to ignoring everybody equally. Bonus!

Why are you dressed as a referee, and in a football sim?
You aren't listening, are you? I told you there are no baseball sims. So, it shouldn't be surprising there are no umpire uniforms. You don't have a problem with vampires showing up in photographs or walking around in broad daylight, so what's your problem here?

What do Umpires do?
We police SL looking for people who scratch themselves inappropriately. Years ago we could count on SL glitches to cause that almost routinely, but now we mostly depend on mo-cap style AOs designed by the caffiene addicted. If it's a female doing the scratching we shout "Steeeeee-rike!" in public chat. If it's a male, we shout "Balllllllll One" or "Ballllllll Two" depending on the scratch.

Can people avoid being called?
Yes, if they wear a can of Skoal on a chain around their necks, we will not get within spitting distance of them.

What is your advice to new or current Residents who want to get involved in the Umpire communities?
First and foremost, you must realize that "Umpire" means different things to different people. You must be willing to accept that one Umpire clan may have a different understanding of what constitues a "scratch" or is "innapropriate". Some Umpires don't call. Some Umpires call other Umpires. Personally, I ascribe to a different kind of lore. My need to call has grown so overwhelming that I force Maddy to pinch people inappropriately so I can call her on it.

[Charolotte Caxton]

The pharmacy called. I'll run by there while I'm out.

[Marigold Devin]

Ooooo while you're at the pharmacy, please will you pick me up one of those blackcurrant glucose lollies?

Thanks.

[Venus Petrov]

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Charly Muggins wrote:

I hate all umpires, referees, linesmen etc. Anybody that has authority ONLY because of their position to enforce laws that they probably barely understand, in relation to an activity they are almost certainly not competent to participate in themselves, and for which they have little or no empathy. Power corrupts and absolute power makes you a complete PITA

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Whoopsie then you will not appreciate the capricious nature of this forum.

[Bree Giffen]

Do you know what I hate about the Umpire community? All the Baselines players. I mean you teleport into a welcome area and some Baselines player comes up to you and shouts, "You're out!" Come on. I was safe!

[Sy Beck]

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Charly Muggins wrote:

I hate all umpires, referees, linesmen etc. Anybody that has authority ONLY because of their position to enforce laws that they probably barely understand, in relation to an activity they are almost certainly not competent to participate in themselves, and for which they have little or no empathy. Power corrupts and absolute power makes you a complete PITA

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A good ref will always give a warning and then give their reasons for a booking or a sending off though, as I'm sure some of your former teammates will attest to.

[Snugs McMasters]

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Bree Giffen wrote:

Do you know what I hate about the Umpire community? All the Baselines players. I mean you teleport into a welcome area and some Baselines player comes up to you and shouts, "You're out!" Come on. I was safe!

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Care for a Skoal necklace, Bree?

[Snugs McMasters]

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Marigold Devin wrote:

Ooooo while you're at the pharmacy, please will you pick me up one of those blackcurrant glucose lollies?

Thanks.

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Maddy asks that you get some Gummy Swirls vitamins too... oh and Cinnamon Altoids.

[Pamela Galli]

Umpire ... doesn't that rhyme with -- oh nvm.

[Madelaine McMasters]

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Sy Beck wrote:

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Charly Muggins wrote:

I hate all umpires, referees, linesmen etc. Anybody that has authority ONLY because of their position to enforce laws that they probably barely understand, in relation to an activity they are almost certainly not competent to participate in themselves, and for which they have little or no empathy. Power corrupts and absolute power makes you a complete PITA

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A good ref will always give a warning and then give their reasons for a booking or a sending off though, as I'm sure some of your former teammates will attest to.

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This brings up the question of whether one is dealing with good or bad refs, or whether it's the case of the teams thinking they're playing one game while the ref thinks they are playing another. Or worse yet, what if we've got simultaneous games of soccer and basketball being played on the same field (by some of the same players) while the ref is actually playing high stakes poker?

Confusion for the win!!

[Sy Beck]

The situation could be further exacerbated by a moving of the goal posts too, that tends to lead a balls up or is it a tip off in basketball, I forget?  Yes, tip off.  You get a tip off first, I'm sure.

[Charolotte Caxton]

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Snugs McMasters wrote:

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Marigold Devin wrote:

Ooooo while you're at the pharmacy, please will you pick me up one of those blackcurrant glucose lollies?

Thanks.

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Maddy asks that you get some Gummy Swirls vitamins too... oh and Cinnamon Altoids.

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Ok. Im back

Blackcurrant glucose lollies? Sorry dear, wrong continent, perhaps wrong time period? Not sure, but I got you some gummy bears.

Gummy swirls vitamins...and altoids. Ok, those are definitely choking hazards so I brought you two some Werthers and licorice. Yes, I am aware that you can still choke on those, but at least you can do it in an age appropriate manner.

Oh! and just to stay in theme, I picked up some big league chew as well! Yay!

Charolotte Caxton pops a giant bubble gum bubble and smacks away.

[Madelaine McMasters]

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Sy Beck wrote:

The situation could be further exacerbated by a moving of the goal posts too, that tends to lead a balls up or is it a tip off in basketball, I forget?  Yes, tip off.  You get a tip off first, I'm sure.

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Oh yes, but who's moving the goal posts? The teams? The refs? The owners?

Personally, I think the fans are moving the goal posts, perhaps out of the stadium.

[Charolotte Caxton]

between smacks

I heard there's a new stadium, and the players are making a mass exodus.

blows a new bubble

that's just what I heard though, there's still about 3 players or so left on my continent

smacks

http://elfclanvr.grouply.com/message/2233

[Chronometria]

Umpire.....cricket bats?

[DQ Darwin]

That's all really interesting Snugs but WHAT THE HECK IS THE SCORE?

/Dee shakes her head you would think she was talking about vampires or something!

[Snugs McMasters]

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Chronometria wrote:

Umpire.....cricket bats?

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At the rate we're going here, it'll just be crickets soon.

[Snugs McMasters]

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DQ Darwin wrote:

WHAT THE HECK IS THE SCORE?

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It's not looking good, hopefully Rodvik will put something on the board.

[Bree Giffen]

The Skoal is free right? But I'm still in their database as being 'safe' and that is still annoying.

[Snugs McMasters]

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Bree Giffen wrote:

The Skoal is free right? But I'm still in their database as being 'safe' and that is still annoying.

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Yes, the Skoal is free, but we Umpires don't keep a database. You needn't wear the necklace all the time either. Umpires are slow, so you'll have time to don the necklace and work up a bit of spit before they get within range. Although just the sight of the necklace is usually enough to deter a call, I have been told by would-be victims that the pleasure of "chawing up a wad and lettin' her rip" is well worth the effort. Aim for the ass, it's our largest feature.

 

[Dresden Ceriano]

Oh wait... you said Umpire, not Empire... never mind.

...Dres

[DQ Darwin]

Okay fine so isn't our turn at bat, on the field, on the court, in the net, on the pitch? Good thing they supply the equipment all I have is running shoes. Oh maybe the equipment is faulty?

[Snugs McMasters]

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DQ Darwin wrote:

Okay fine so isn't our turn at bat, on the field, on the court, in the net, on the pitch? Good thing they supply the equipment all I have is running shoes. Oh maybe the equipment is faulty?

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The equipment has always been faulty. The upgrade budget is kept in an empty Skoal can in the owner's desk and the folks who toss in the nickles are thinking twice.

I have running shoes too. They are pointed towards the door.