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Harlee Fallen

Cyber Bullying, should linden labs be stricter?

87 posts in this topic

Hi Everyone,

Everyday i hear on the news that sadly another young person has taken there life due to cyber bullying...whether it be VIA  facebook...twitter ..or second life, i honestly feel not enough is done to scare these 'trolls' ...i am personally a victim of cyber bullying...on second life and i feel like i have been 'failed' many times by the system...in the below link i have written my ordeal aswell as a link for people to make donations against serious anti-cyber bully laws....i want to somehow incorperate that into second life..

I feel as if there should be stricter laws against second life cyber bullying whether its on blogs chat feeds or anything...harassment is harassment.

 

*link removed you can i.m me inworld or on here for the link*


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Gosh, Harlee, i'm not sure linking to an external site where you name another resident to discuss in a negative way is even permitted. I've a sneaking feeling it might be against the ToS. Strictly speaking, it's a sort of "your word against theirs" situation. Your "enemy" could open a new thread claiming that it's you and not her doing the harrassing. I think most people would choose to stay well out of something in which only the two direct participants know exactly what happened. My 12 cents worth (inflation...).

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I did not read your blog post.  It is unfortunate you have been bullied.  Of course, you can file ARs on the person and include chat logs.  You can also create an alt and lay low for a bit.  While I do not advocate running when you are not at fault, you have a right to enjoy SL.

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oh i didnt know that, again i feel as if there being blanketed as usual....why should they be? it truly is a shame.

oh and she made it VERY public...she was going to 'ruin' my life...so its not much of a he said she said.

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How can someone ruin your RL?  You control your RL information.  Just be very circumspect about who you share it with, if you decide to share any of it.  No one can force you.

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Harlee Fallen wrote:

oh i didnt know that, again i feel as if there being blanketed as usual....why should they be? it truly is a shame.

oh and she made it VERY public...she was going to 'ruin' my life...so its not much of a he said she said.

I disagree. If she made it public, and you are making it public, then it's very much a "he said, she said" situation. Can't get much more "he said, she said" than that, actually.

The thing is, unless she published some nastiness about the RL you in a national newspaper, I can't see how it can damage your RL. Going public is not writing the odd article about an anonymous avatar signed by an anonymeous avatar in a blog that maybe a handful of people will ever read. I don't know you or her. Never heard of either of you. I suspect for most forum readers the reaction will be the same. Maybe some of her cronies will read her blog. Some of your cronies will read yours. That's not quite the same thing as going public, to my mind, so the damage is pretty limited

It's not a question of blanketing anyone. This isn't the place to get official action done. It's a forum for residents. The forumites wouldn't be able to help you at all, other than cluck sympathetically over such meanness.My suggestion is mute, ignore and move on. Unless she's revealling RL info, in which case AR her sorry backside.

 

 

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Unless this person has knowledge of your real life indentity (ie, knows you personally) I cannot see any way that the person can truly bully you.  The person can surely grief your avatar in SL (bully is not the correct definition) but SL has many tools that you can use to put a stop to that........mute, ignore, and AR are just three methods of very effectively dealing with griefing. 

 

I didn't read your blog.  I mean why would I take the time and put out the effort to read a one sided account of events or happenings that are unprovable.  Maybe if I was interested in reading about could be, maybe, or what if stories I would find such reading interesting............I don't so I didn't.  Real bullying is a serious issue that needs serious attention........play bullying on an anonymous platform like SL is nothing more that willingly participating in role playing.  You want to be bullied so you are bullied.  You can stop it immediately if you choose to do so.......or you can create drama threads and continue in your role playing as the poor down beaten bullied avatar.

 

I don't mean to sound unsympathic (though, in this case, I suppose I am) but trivial trash like this cheapen the real problem of bullying (bullying in general, not just cyber bullying).  Playing on people's emotions about fair play and how people should respect and be with fellow human beings using cyberbullying to gain sympathy is so harmful to people in the real world who actually are dealing with real bullie's (cyber and real face to face) it almost makes my blood  boil.  Get a grip on your second life and deal with your real life in the real world......not in Second Life.

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I did not read the blog either but posting a link in a forum to a blog trashing someone sounds like bullying to me.

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Sorry this happened to you.

Bullying is about trying to make someone FEEL crappy, on purpose; so if you FELT bullied then chances are, you were. Trust your perceptions and change your circle of friends and in world habits accordingly.

I don't know if Linden Lab should be 'stricter' since they are probably not staffed to handle the flood of battles that would be reported to them. They do have the AR system, and ticket system, and they don't comment on what actions they take there.

I think internet bullying laws need updating in most places in the world today. People underestimate how far the 'net can reach, and how much it can ruin. We all know of suicides that have been publicized, and others seek to destroy someone's livelihood or reputation. Then, others do that to themselves with their facebook pages (if you are a kindergarten teacher, probably don't post those party pix.) But, that is another topic - I mainly put that in because someone will say "and some do it to themselves."

What the Lab might possibly do that it doesn't seem to yet, is, prepare new residents EMOTIONALLY for the world they are about to inhabit. People feel safer here than they should. So many people share real life information without a second thought - or they pressure others to as a form of peer pressure or "I shared mine, you share yours." Not everyone has good intentions out there. 

By the time most figure that out, it's become ugly. So again, sorry this happened to you, whatever the circumstance was.

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I think Linden Labs has got plenty of measures already in place to minimise cyber-bullying.  We are all inworld under an alias, not our real names, and this protects us to a degree, as does the ability to be able to mute/block a person and teleport away or log out or relocate our homes, or be as anonymous or as open as we want to be. Or to stop people from entering our home areas. 

RL social networks, however, who insist on us using our real life identities, are giving more and more advice on privacy/security (which should really be commonsense), so we have less chance of leaving ourselves wide open to cyber-bullies. 

We all have to take some responsibility and not expect LL to be our substitute mum and dad. People in Second Life may seem like new best friends forever when we first meet them, and it's easy to let our guard down and give out probably more private information than we should. LL aren't able to control that. That is up to us.



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I'm pretty sure you and your SL boyfriend breaking up might have had something to do with revealing your real life gender to him.  That kinda stuff doesn't really surprise me but the ridiculous amounts of drama is why I have made it a point not to engage in "relationships" in SL, be they real, virtual or a combination of the two.

I can't help but think if you just ignored this alleged "bully" that would be the end of it.  However, on the various websites and forums you've posted this stuff too it seems like you're more obsessed about the whole deal than the supposed bully is.  And if you are indeed being cyber-trolled then constantly calling this person out publicly (which I see you edited out) is only providing them with fodder.

Also, I couldn't help but also notice the following from the exact same thread you posted in the SLU forums under your SLU name Virtual.Barbie, which makes me wonder if some of this drama isn't self-inflicted.

 

Originally Posted by Excerpt from Virtual.Barbie's profile pick
"Enjoy sucking my ex boyfriends ****, oh btw how does my *** taste?"

To which I can only respond with:
hrmmmface.jpg

 

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I pretty much agree with most of what has already been said here in that if you are behind an anonymous avatar, what can they really do?  I have been personally attacked by the same person over and over for years who I believe thinks he has some significance in my real life.

On the area of Suicide, I tend to believe that the cyberbullying is only part of the problem but if they do expose things about your real life, I could see that as being very embarrassing.  I just think some people are already on the brink most of the time but Second Life does dismal job in removing obvious griefers.

It's not fun and I know what you feel however, just keep this in mind.There is a little X on the upper right of you window you can always click (or red dot to the right) and leave.  RL is way to precious and way too exciting compared to in world and SL should be such a small part of a healthy life.

Create, make great friends, have fun then log off and do what is best for your real life.  Nothing compares and even the worst cyber bullying cannot harm you in any way.It's just an annoyance.  But, the last thing we need are more laws, we have way to many as it is.  

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i personally think it is up to the parents, not only to stop the bully ( if their child is bullying), but also to stop wrapping their children in cotton wool. the phrase "harden the **bleep** up" pops into mind and while it may be a little rough, is has a legitimacy to it. anyone being bullied in this manner need to take a diferent approach, they should be looking at the bullies in a new light  in that they need some sort of medical help, perhaps a Pyschyatrist, and not take the bullying to heart. In the same manner should we ignore greifers (same thing) and they will go away. It is your reaction of horror that gives them the most pleasure, and ignoring them is the bestest revenge. It goes the same for the bullies on facebook, ignore them and they will get bored.

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wiked Anton wrote:

i personally think it is up to the parents, not only to stop the bully ( if their child is bullying), but also to stop wrapping their children in cotton wool.

What do you do when the parents themselves are bullies?  I've seen it quite a few times...children learn from what they see :(

 

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???  I didn't read anything in wiked's post about the parents being bullies.  I did read that if the child doing the bullying that the parents need to intervene and stop it............I agree 100% on that.  The "wrapping the child in cotton" is also something I can agree with.

 

Bullying is not anything new...........it's become a "problem" lately only because it's being reported more.  That is not a bad thing, but trying to deal with the problem by making more laws is not going to solve it.  Making people aware of the problem and the reasons and causes of it is the correct way to make it go away (well to as much an extent as tthat would be possible).  Coddling the bullied and excusing the bulliers is not the way.

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While it's true that a majority of bullies will stop once they stop getting a reaction, some don't. I disagree that cyber bullying, or any bullying, is harmless.

Lives, reputations, and feelings are all impacted by what is written, said, and done. No matter where it happens. And once it's online it has the capacity to reach anywhere in teh world, and stay, or echo on, for a long time.

For instance, some of the mocking videos posted of people from real life; some of those people had to go to counseling, they were that traumatized. Not everyone has a thick skin, nor can everyone grow one. The one thing people can do, though, is try to take proactive measures, and make themselves less vulnerable online to begin with. 

The man who hacked into celebrity emails was taken seriously enough that he's looking at serious jail time: Unfortunately most people seem to think the less famous deserve less protection and respect.

OP, if you are fanning the flames and keeping this going, then I agree with the person upthread who said now is a good time to stop. This is one instance in which "if you can't beat 'em join 'em" does not apply.

 

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Peggy Paperdoll wrote:

???  I didn't read anything in wiked's post about the parents being bullies.  I did read that if the child doing the bullying that the parents need to intervene and stop it............I agree 100% on that.  The "wrapping the child in cotton" is also something I can agree with.

 

Bullying is not anything new...........it's become a "problem" lately only because it's being reported more.  That is not a bad thing, but trying to deal with the problem by making more laws is not going to solve it.  Making people aware of the problem and the reasons and causes of it is the correct way to make it go away (well to as much an extent as tthat would be possible).  Coddling the bullied and excusing the bulliers is not the way.

Hi Peggy...I was commenting on the phrase that it's up to the parents to intervene. Was just putting out there that if the parents were themselves bullies as children/teens, they won't do much to stop their own child acting the same way.  Nothing more than that was intended in what I said. :)

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Which is another huge problem in this country (the US)......parents don't take responsibility for their own children.  It contributes to these bullying problems.  But how to fix that, again, in not laws.  Peers shunning such parents used to be the way "bad parents"  (actually bad people in general) were dealt with........it worked.  But now the "we must be nice to everyone since it's not their fault they are the way they are" group permiates society............BS, every person who is not mentally handicapped has control over what that person does and how that person does it.  Excuses for bad behavior perpetuates bad behavior.

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Harlee Fallen wrote:

Hi Everyone,

Everyday i hear on the news the sadly another young person has taken there life due to cyber bullying
...whether it be VIA  facebook...twitter ..or second life, i honestly feel not enough is done to scare these 'trolls' ...i am personally a victim of cyber bullying...on second life and i feel like i have been 'failed' many times by the system...in the below link i have written my ordeal aswell as a link for people to make donations against serious anti-cyber bully laws....i want to somehow incorperate that into second life..

I feel as if there should be stricter laws against second life cyber bullying whether its on blogs chat feeds or anything...harassment is harassment.

 

*link removed you can i.m me inworld or on here for the link*


I don't know what happened with you, but if you live in the USA you can call the Police, as in all 50 states, cyberstalking, cyberharassment and cyberbullying are misdemeanors or felonies in all 50 of the U.S. states. 

People were speaking about "law" or "laws" here in this thread as if they do not exist, when in fact, they do in the USA.

California is going for tougher ones.

What these people don't pay for in this life, or second life, I believe they will pay for in the afterlife, as it is purely premeditated murder on their minds and no one can change my mind about that one.  And, no the cyberbullies do not stop if you ignore them, that is why there are laws.  You can also file a civil lawsuit and receive damages.  I'd think the parents could do that also. 

However, as far as SL, it is somewhat anonymous unless you get a hacker or a key logger for example. 

It's best to only open links that say .org, and I think Wiki's are pretty safe, but don't open any links if you are unsure what they are.  That is why outside links are not allowed on here because there are too many posters trying to post links that will key log you, etc. 

http://www.ncsl.org/default.aspx?tabid=13495

The above is a safe AND official link to the USA's dot.org information on cyberstalking, cyberharassment and cyberbullying, and the consequences in each State.

Once you call the Police, it is up to LL to release the IP information and other information on the person in question.  In other words, LL has no other choice than to cooperate with the authorities.

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i dont see how that has any relevance to my post about SL being stricter about cyber bullying?

if you refuse to stay on track please dont respond at all.

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Mayalily wrote:

I don't know what happened with you, but if you live in the USA you can call the Police,
as in all 51 states
, cyberstalking, cyberharassment and cyberbullying are misdemeanors or felonies
in all 51 of the U.S. states.
 


/me blinks

And who said we can't learn on this forum?  I went out for a quick cocktail or two, and we grew by a whole state.  I told the bartender to cut me off after three; he failed.  

I think I need to burn my atlas.   

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Storm Clarence wrote:


Mayalily wrote:

I don't know what happened with you, but if you live in the USA you can call the Police,
as in all 51 states
, cyberstalking, cyberharassment and cyberbullying are misdemeanors or felonies
in all 51 of the U.S. states.
 


/me blinks

And who said we can't never learn on this forum?  I went out for a quick cocktail or two, and we grew by a whole state.  I told the bartender to cut me off after three; he failed.  

I think I need to burn my atlas.   

LOL!  That was funny!  I'm new to this Windows 7 and it took me forever to figure out how to bring up the other Window to do a copy and paste! 

Let me fix that, as I asked my rl bf if there were 50 or 51 states in the USA as I didn't want to try working another "window", and he said 51.  I didn't double check because of using this new Windows system. 

Anyhow, in my post, that is official information in the 50 U.S. states on a state-by-state basis as far as the laws go now, though I do know that California is going for some very "tough" ones. 

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Unless I read the original post incorrectly this "cyber-bullying" is an avatar in SL being bullied in SL.  Yes, there are laws concerning cyber-bullying in all 51 states of the US..........that's cyber-bullying the real person in real life.  SL is a virtual world where the inhabitants are real people represented by anonymous avatars.  The cyber bullying laws cannot be used to prosecute (or even address) an anonymous avatar.  As I stated in my first post that unless this bullying is occurring in real life (such as against the non-anonymous person behind the avatar) this whole cyber-bullying idea is BS.  That statement has not be disputed.  So my assertion that this is not cyber-bullying stands........it's griefing at the worse.  And LL provides plenty of tools to deal with griefing.  I further stand by my assertion that using people's emotions for such subjects to gain sympathy for a petty incident such as online griefing of an avatar is sickening.............it cheapens what cyber-bullying (or any other cyber crime) is all about.

 

You'll never get a court of law to even review a case involving griefing in a virtual world.........especially when the virtual world it's happening in provides ways to deal with it (very effective ways).  Mixing real life with Second Life confuses everyone............and you are mixing it way up.  If this thread was about real life bullying, you'd find me way on the other side of this discussion.  I, too, was bullied (real bullying) as a child..........I know how it feels.  I also know how I dealt with it and I know what I did resolved the problem.  I wasn't coddled and my whinning about it only gave me responses to get to work with what I could do.........not what someone else can do for me.  I was protected by my parents..........not coddled.

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I'm giving out generalized information, as I said I know nothing of what happened to her.

However, there are key loggers and hackers on any website, and LL will need to address the authorities, not me or you, as hacking/kl happens. 

To help avoid this, just don't open websites you've never heard of.  Well known, established names should be okay, such as ABC, BBC, CNBC, etc.  Use common sense when on the computer, and especially in regards to "links".  Just don't open them.

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