Discuss or Comments about Child, Adult, Can't Tell Thread

[sirhc DeSantis]

Facinating (alt speling) again an othor topic that the majority of SL users go..'there is a forum' I may go dancing later. and no one there will gaf

[Persephone Emerald]

2 hours ago, Love Zhaoying said:

Do we need to stop saying "Sweet summer child" to people (patronizingly)?

It implies we think the person is a child, and also - calling them "sweet" is kind of creepy.

It's a reference to Game of Thrones, and I like it because it implies much more than that the person is young and naive. It also implies that the world (and SL specifically) is a wild, crazy place full of unfathomable injustice and horrors. Bran is a child when his nanny calls him a sweet, summer child, but he grows up to understand things that most adults don't. In Game of Thrones, the summers and winters are many years long, so those born in summer can have no idea how harsh and devastating the winters can be until they experience them for themselves.

[brodiac90]

12 minutes ago, Coffee Pancake said:

Beaten by a gang and left for dead!

People stood and watched.

Today, they would stand and film.

The bystander effect is a thing. If you're ever in danger the optimal amount of people to be around is 1, the more people there are  the more likely everyone is is to think that someone else will help or that someone else will be more qualified. 

[Love Zhaoying]

1 hour ago, Rowan Amore said:

1 hour ago, Coffee Pancake said:

There will be an uptick in coercion and manipulation

But "we're all adults here".    Maybe they like being coerced into banned behavior.  Perhaps we should allow that?   They made me do it! as a viable defense?    Seriously?

I am confused again, I thought some people were celebrating, inviting, inciting the coercion and manipulation?

Oh well, it's that cross-thread effect I guess.

[Love Zhaoying]

9 minutes ago, Persephone Emerald said:

It's a reference to Game of Thrones, and I like it because it implies much more than that the person is young and naive.

That's interesting! I thought it was a 1960's-1970's reference!

I see some good discussion, but I cannot post the link to the best answer of earlier uses.

https://www.resetera.com/threads/wait-the-phrase-oh-my-sweet-summer-child-comes-from-game-of-thrones.434090

Edited May 13 by Love Zhaoying

[Blush Bravin]

7 minutes ago, Persephone Emerald said:

It's a reference to Game of Thrones, and I like it because it implies much more than that the person is young and naive. It also implies that the world (and SL specifically) is a wild, crazy place full of unfathomable injustice and horrors. Bran is a child when his nanny calls him a sweet, summer child, but he grows up to understand things that most adults don't. In Game of Thrones, the summers and winters are many years long, so those born in summer can have no idea how harsh and devastating the winters can be until they experience them for themselves.

The phrase “sweet summer's child" became a popular way of describing an innocent, naive person (especially among American writers) during the early Victorian era.

reference

I've been hearing that phrase for many years before GOT was ever penned.

Edited May 13 by Blush Bravin

[Codex Alpha]

1 hour ago, Rowan Amore said:

How exactly is it any different than what you were talking about in the other thread?  Explain that to me.  Someone likes to be objectified.  Let them be as they're an adult and maybe enjoy that.    Someone likes being coerced.  Does that include being coerced into banned activities?  Whether you think it's the same or not, the underlying premise is the same.  

One cannot willingly be coerced.

5 minutes ago, Persephone Emerald said:

It's a reference to Game of Thrones, and I like it because it implies much more than that the person is young and naive. It also implies that the world (and SL specifically) is a wild, crazy place full of unfathomable injustice and horrors. Bran is a child when his nanny calls him a sweet, summer child, but he grows up to understand things that most adults don't. In Game of Thrones, the summers and winters are many years long, so those born in summer can have no idea how harsh and devastating the winters can be until they experience them for themselves.

True and context is true, but when it is used here on the forums, where most people are adults, it is most likely a condescending thing to say - as a form of passive aggressiveness - skirting the rules because somoene wants really to call you something else..

"Oh you sweet summer's child" is okay when it is applied to a true child, ignorant of the dangers of the dark, etc, but not said to another adult. Dem's fighting words. I also hate the use of 'sweetheart', 'honey', when used in the same circumstance.

[Persephone Emerald]

2 hours ago, Codex Alpha said:

Of course I am, and more. I've been pretty consistent posting laughing emojis on posts I find absolutely ludicrous posting non-child avatars worried they will get banned.

Though I wouldn't say ALL of them are safe, because if there is any concern, it will be taken as a whole, as described in the TOS and Policy, that I have quoted over and over and over and over and over and over again - yet some people still can't 'interpret' the language used. So I go from SMH to just LOL at the absurdity of it all.

 @brodiac90

Nowhere on that thread do people posting say that they're afraid they'll get ARed or banned. Your assumption that they think this is completely unfounded. I certainly didn't think any of the avatars I posted were in peril. I view that thread as a kind of sanity check to show what others really think about the apparent ages of avatars. A picture shows much more than words can tell and makes us examine our subjective, emotional reactions to avatars, so we can't just say we would always be fair and rational in our judgements of other people's avatars.

Edited May 13 by Persephone Emerald

[Chery Amore]

3 minutes ago, Persephone Emerald said:

Nowhere on that thread do people posting say that they're afraid they'll get ARed or banned. Your assumption that they think this is completely unfounded. I certainly didn't think any of the avatars I posted were in peril. I view that thread as a kind of sanity check to show what others really think about the apparent ages of avatars. A picture shows much more than words can tell and makes us examine our subjective, emotional reactions to avatars, so we can't just say we would always be fair and rational in our judgements of other people's avatars.

You nailed it! I posted my adult picture knowing I wouldn't get a teen vote unless someone was trolling. It's just letting us see who looks in secondlife like a Child, Adult or if they can't tell. I roll my eyes every time he posts now.

[Rowan Amore]

7 minutes ago, Codex Alpha said:

One cannot willingly be coerced.

Unless someone likes to RP that in SL which people do.   Look it up in group search.    

If you're into coercion RP, you're doing it willingly.  We ARE talking about SL.

[Codex Alpha]

1 minute ago, Rowan Amore said:

Unless someone likes to RP that in SL which people do.   Look it up in group search.    

If you're into coercion RP, you're doing it willingly.  We ARE talking about SL.

No, YOU Look up coercion in the dictionary. Take the L, strengthen your vocabulary, drop the ego, and move on with  your life.

[Blush Bravin]

2 hours ago, Codex Alpha said:

Of course I am, and more. I've been pretty consistent posting laughing emojis on posts I find absolutely ludicrous posting non-child avatars worried they will get banned.

You've missed the entire point of that thread.

[Rowan Amore]

Just now, Codex Alpha said:

No, YOU Look up coercion in the dictionary. Take the L, strengthen your vocabulary, drop the ego, and move on with  your life.

I know exactly what coercion means especially in regard to sexual coercion.  Trust me on that one.  However, IN SL, it's willingly RPed.  Big difference.  Just as no woman wants to be sexually attacked in RL but there ARE those who choose to RP that in SL.

My ego is just fine, thank you.  Your attitude, however, could use an adjustment.  

[Codex Alpha]

8 minutes ago, Blush Bravin said:

You've missed the entire point of that thread.

Well I am pretty dumb and don't know what i'm talking about, so i'm told, so that is entirely possible.

[Persephone Emerald]

23 minutes ago, Codex Alpha said:

True and context is true, but when it is used here on the forums, where most people are adults, it is most likely a condescending thing to say - as a form of passive aggressiveness - skirting the rules because somoene wants really to call you something else..

"Oh you sweet summer's child" is okay when it is applied to a true child, ignorant of the dangers of the dark, etc, but not said to another adult. Dem's fighting words. I also hate the use of 'sweetheart', 'honey', when used in the same circumstance.

I think you're confusing this phrase with "Bless your heart" (Southern US usage).

...Oh, and projection much?

[Theresa Tennyson]

28 minutes ago, Codex Alpha said:

 

"Oh you sweet summer's child" is okay when it is applied to a true child, ignorant of the dangers of the dark, etc, but not said to another adult. Dem's fighting words. I also hate the use of 'sweetheart', 'honey', when used in the same circumstance.

How about, "Bless your heart?"

ETA: This post was written at exactly the same time that Persephone's was.

Edited May 13 by Theresa Tennyson

[Rowan Amore]

5 minutes ago, Codex Alpha said:

Well I am pretty dumb and don't know what i'm talking about, so i'm told, so that is entirely possible.

Quoted for posterity because someone has to.

[InnerCity Elf]

3 hours ago, Marianne Little said:

It may sound like I split hairs here, (literally) but I really hope that if LL is not sure if an avatar is 17 or 18, they judge in favor of 18. That the evidence is insuficcient to state the avatar is under 18.

I'd think so. Going through that picture thread, I found that I used the "confused" reaction a lot, stemming from the fact that I've no way of knowing how old a lot of SL avatar faces are supposed to look like, no more than I could tell irl if someone's 17 or 18, or even 16 or 25, without IDing them.

Trying to come up with a somewhat helpful reason/comment for those I reacted "confused", or "child":

"confused": usually, the face doesn't have "enough definition" for me to clearly say, "yeah, looks adult, to me", and body, and clothing are secondary to the face

"child":

- either it clearly looks like a child to me (those would probably all be avis that the person intended to be and look like a child), or

- I might have used "confused" from the face alone, but there's something about the "overall impression" that looks a tad more like "sweet 16" than definitely 18 or over, or like an adult who gives off "wants to look like 'barely adult'" vibes, or might maybe simply be someone who has/had a very youthful look irl and tried to recreate it, idk. Not judging any of that, I'm just trying to look at it from the only perspective I think makes sense, like "if I was LL staff and had to make that call".

And for all intents and purposes, I'd most probably let all the "confused" cases go; the "critical" cases for me would be those that have both "not expressive enough head/face combo to clearly peg them as either PLUS some kind of or multiple or combination of "features" (body, clothes, ribbons, accessory, whatever) that, seen all together, look "maybe in all innocence, they think they definitely look adult, but to many others, they won't", or even "look like they want to look like below 18 but still are open for or want to do 18+ stuff".

Does not make sense to discuss things like whether spring dresses, pigtails, ribbons, or diapers, or whatever else, are worn by adults in rl, too, or why, or if it's awesome that they do, or despicable. Anyone who wants to err on the side of caution, needs to keep their avi to a look that, probably, to the best of their knowledge, to "most people", would look 18 or over, or at least "yeah, well, could be 17, could be 18 or over", and the most important thing is probably that the avi doesn't look as if their owner deliberately tried to create jail bait. Just my personal assumption, of course. 

[Chery Amore]

I'm in the south it's often "Bless your little heart..." hehe

[Persephone Emerald]

15 minutes ago, Codex Alpha said:

No, YOU Look up coercion in the dictionary. Take the L, strengthen your vocabulary, drop the ego, and move on with  your life.

Is "drop the ego" something you would say to a male forum poster?

Is "move on with your life" how you say, "stop arguing with me"?

[Codex Alpha]

4 minutes ago, Chery Amore said:

I'm in the south it's often "Bless your little heart..." hehe

I did have a  Youth Pastor that when we razzed him too much, he'd be like "I... appreciate you guys" hahah, when he would probably like to say something less nice... Same context

2 minutes ago, Persephone Emerald said:

Is "drop the ego" something you would say to a male forum poster?

Is "move on with your life" how you say, "stop arguing with me"?

How do you 'interpret' it, because that's all that matters around here.

Edited May 13 by Codex Alpha

[Blush Bravin]

My experience:

Bless your heart = you're stupid

Sweet summer child = you're naive 

I've spent 2/3 of my life in East Texas .. so kinda Southern, the other 1/3 in Cali ... so just won't be put into a mold?

Edited May 13 by Blush Bravin

[Marianne Little]

30 minutes ago, InnerCity Elf said:

I'd think so. Going through that picture thread, I found that I used the "confused" reaction a lot, stemming from the fact that I've no way of knowing how old a lot of SL avatar faces are supposed to look like, no more than I could tell irl if someone's 17 or 18, or even 16 or 25, without IDing them.

Trying to come up with a somewhat helpful reason/comment for those I reacted "confused", or "child":

"confused": usually, the face doesn't have "enough definition" for me to clearly say, "yeah, looks adult, to me", and body, and clothing are secondary to the face

"child":

- either it clearly looks like a child to me (those would probably all be avis that the person intended to be and look like a child), or

- I might have used "confused" from the face alone, but there's something about the "overall impression" that looks a tad more like "sweet 16" than definitely 18 or over, or like an adult who gives off "wants to look like 'barely adult'" vibes, or might maybe simply be someone who has/had a very youthful look irl and tried to recreate it, idk. Not judging any of that, I'm just trying to look at it from the only perspective I think makes sense, like "if I was LL staff and had to make that call".

And for all intents and purposes, I'd most probably let all the "confused" cases go; the "critical" cases for me would be those that have both "not expressive enough head/face combo to clearly peg them as either PLUS some kind of or multiple or combination of "features" (body, clothes, ribbons, accessory, whatever) that, seen all together, look "maybe in all innocence, they think they definitely look adult, but to many others, they won't", or even "look like they want to look like below 18 but still are open for or want to do 18+ stuff".

Does not make sense to discuss things like whether spring dresses, pigtails, ribbons, or diapers, or whatever else, are worn by adults in rl, too, or why, or if it's awesome that they do, or despicable. Anyone who wants to err on the side of caution, needs to keep their avi to a look that, probably, to the best of their knowledge, to "most people", would look 18 or over, or at least "yeah, well, could be 17, could be 18 or over", and the most important thing is probably that the avi doesn't look as if their owner deliberately tried to create jail bait. Just my personal assumption, of course. 

 

 

As I have understood it, it is a flat out ban for any avatar presenting as under 18 in all adult regions. No matter if visiting "Big D's xxx ranch" up on a sky plat, or be there shopping in a store on the ground.

It is as context is tossed out the window. If I were in a place where adult stuff is supposed to happen, like beaches with adult furniture placed out in full view, I would err on the side of caution when it comes to appearance.

But wearing a too cute hair when only doing not- adult stuff? 😒 

I hope it more than LL employees subjective ideas of what is a17 y old/what is a 18 y old. It is already said so many silly things about what people think looks like a teen.

When I am looking at stores selling hair and skin for adult avatars, it is vendor images with fresh, youthful looks everywhere. It is not meant to be underage avatars.

Edited May 13 by Marianne Little

[Blush Bravin]

It is extremely difficult if not impossible for females to look mature (over 30ish) without looking over 80 in SL. The mesh heads are not sculpted to look anything but youthful. The skins that are made for mature females look older than my 88 year old mother did on her deathbed. Males have it much easier. There are lots of good looking, dare I say extremely good looking, skins for mature men.

As demonstrated in my third try in that other thread, even using tattoos made to age an avatar didn't get me out of the confused area completely. At least no one thought I looked underage for sure with using the darker versions of those aging tats.

Honestly, I am dumbfounded at how many use hairstyle to determine age. But I've learned a lesson from hearing the responses, so I'm grateful because it will be playing a part when I decide to put together an outfit.

[Rowan Amore]

39 minutes ago, Chery Amore said:

I'm in the south it's often "Bless your little heart..." hehe

My favorite which I could use here quite often is "Oh, no you di'int!"