Ask a Child Avatar

[brodiac90]

Just now, Ingrid Ingersoll said:

I was looking for your opinion as a child avi yourself. 

That's fair enough, I have responded.

[Ingrid Ingersoll]

9 minutes ago, brodiac90 said:

I'd say it's borderline and therefore dangerous really. I wouldn't be comfortable going to adult land with an avatar like that, regarrdless of what their profile says. "I'm 18," disclaimers don't work if your avatar doesn't look 18. The fact they feel the need to put that in their profile is probably telling. 

Agree!

[Love Zhaoying]

58 minutes ago, brodiac90 said:

there are times when I'm feeling particularly safe and happy that I will engage in a sort of rhyming cadence.

As a purring animal, I can relate.

[Quartz Mole]

As noted above, there is already a thread about whether particular avatars look 18 nor not

with a discussion thread here

Please use those threads for all future posts about "Does this avatar look 18 or not?".   

Any more such posts will be removed from this thread as off topic.   

[Scylla Rhiadra]

2 hours ago, brodiac90 said:

How do I respond to child avatars? 

If you're not comfortable engaging then you don't have to do anything. Most child avatars are used to being hated upon so just being ignored would actually be an improvement to be honest. I'm not joking, the amount of times I've just been minidng my own business and someone said aloud something to the effect of, "Ewww a child avatar...." if I had a linden for every time that had happened I would be rich. 

¯\_(ツ)_/¯  you kind of develop a thick skin. 

I'm sorry, I should have been somewhat clearer about how I DO respond to child avatars who RP when talking to me.

The answer, in addition to "awkwardly," is that I tend to talk to them "normally," without RPing back. In-world (as opposed to these forums), I don't "ignore" people ever, except in cases of extreme and repeated obnoxious behaviour. I'd never simply ignore a child avatar speaking to me, even if it were in RP.

6 hours ago, NicholasTheHufflepuffWizard said:

it's best to treat people with respect and be civil about it

Yes. I hope that this is always how I respond to people.

6 hours ago, NicholasTheHufflepuffWizard said:

But if you aren't comfortable with roleplaying when communicating with someone, just simply say that you are not comfortable with roleplaying and would rather speak normally out of character.

I guess this may be the crux of my question; I'd generally tend not to actually say something like "I'm sorry, I'm not comfortable engaging in roleplay, but will respond as I would OOC." In other words, I wouldn't acknowledge that they'd spoken in character. Instead, I'll just . . . answer them normally.

But maybe it might be better if I explained why?

6 hours ago, NicholasTheHufflepuffWizard said:

I hope this a decent answer to the question.

It is, and thank you.

[NicholasTheHufflepuffWizard]

2 minutes ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

I'm sorry, I should have been somewhat clearer about how I DO respond to child avatars who RP when talking to me.

The answer, in addition to "awkwardly," is that I tend to talk to them "normally," without RPing back. In-world (as opposed to these forums), I don't "ignore" people ever, except in cases of extreme and repeated obnoxious behaviour. I'd never simply ignore a child avatar speaking to me, even if it were in RP.

Yes. I hope that this is always how I respond to people.

I guess this may be the crux of my question; I'd generally tend not to actually say something like "I'm sorry, I'm not comfortable engaging in roleplay, but will respond as I would OOC." In other words, I wouldn't acknowledge that they'd spoken in character. Instead, I'll just . . . answer them normally.

But maybe it might be better if I explained why?

It is, and thank you.

I'm glad I could be of assistance. 

[brodiac90]

3 minutes ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

I guess this may be the crux of my question; I'd generally tend not to actually say something like "I'm sorry, I'm not comfortable engaging in roleplay, but will respond as I would OOC." In other words, I wouldn't acknowledge that they'd spoken in character. Instead, I'll just . . . answer them normally.

I think this would be fine. Most child avatars would just be happy you were talking to them. They'll get the message pretty quickly if you don't engage in any roleplay. However, in my experience, most kid avatars don't just randomly start RPing with people they don't know anyway. 

[Scylla Rhiadra]

6 minutes ago, brodiac90 said:

I think this would be fine. Most child avatars would just be happy you were talking to them. They'll get the message pretty quickly if you don't engage in any roleplay. However, in my experience, most kid avatars don't just randomly start RPing with people they don't know anyway. 

No, possibly not, although I'd say that possibly half of those with whom I've spoken have been in character when they spoke to me.

ETA: I don't know, with the exception of a child avatar whom I knew quite well in my early days in SL, that I've ever been IMed by a kid in SL. My communications have always been in open, I think. (My friend from my early days was in and out of character very quickly and easily -- and her RP was often very ironic, funny, and deliberately winking, so it never felt weird to me.)

I remember one instance while shopping, I ran across two young girls -- representing, I'd guess, something in the 8 to 10 years old range. Their avis were wonderful, and they were clearly having a lot of fun with each other in character. I complimented them in local on how really adorable they looked (their RP was also, I thought, pretty good although I didn't say so), and they responded in character. Which was fine and totally understandable -- I was the one who had initiated the contact, and I knew they were RPing when I did so, so the onus was on me. But I really couldn't continue the conversation because, honestly, I just don't know how to respond to that.

Anyway, it's just awkward for me -- and the more so because I don't want them thinking that I am being rude.

Edited May 26 by Scylla Rhiadra

[Love Zhaoying]

27 minutes ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

I guess this may be the crux of my question; I'd generally tend not to actually say something like "I'm sorry, I'm not comfortable engaging in roleplay, but will respond as I would OOC." In other words, I wouldn't acknowledge that they'd spoken in character. Instead, I'll just . . . answer them normally.

Personally, this is my normal unless I'm in a RP area where everyone is expected to RP.

[Love Zhaoying]

17 minutes ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

Anyway, it's just awkward for me -- and the more so because I don't want them thinking that I am being rude

They would be the rude ones if they tried to make you participate in their RP or feel bad for not doing so, in a public area where there's no normal expectation.

[Love Zhaoying]

25 minutes ago, brodiac90 said:

However, in my experience, most kid avatars don't just randomly start RPing with people they don't know anyway. 

This is reassuring. 
For comparison, some furs RP with anyone they meet. Awkward.

[Madi Melodious]

13 hours ago, Bree Giffen said:

Question:

Have you ever encountered a real child playing in SL and what have you done or would do if you did? 

No confirmed, a few suspected.    One of the games I play with my sisters is based on the size of the female avatar's attachments and how much she looks like a garage store hooker on dollar day,   We try to guess the age of the male behind the keyboard.    We have had more than a few come in where we agreed "thirteen."

What did we do?  nothing.  Are there real children on the grid? Yes.   But I'm not going to report everyone that I think there is.  

[Madi Melodious]

3 hours ago, brodiac90 said:

How often does a Child Avatar need to change their diapers?

I'm not sure whether you mean the mesh object itself or the RP of the diaper being changed. If it's the latter then same as RL. I don't have much experience of this though as my avatar is too old for diapers. 

We had one toddler av, according to the talking diaper, needed to be changed ever 15 minutes.  That lasted for about two diaper changes before I put a halt to it. 

[NicholasTheHufflepuffWizard]

3 minutes ago, Madi Melodious said:

We had one toddler av, according to the talking diaper, needed to be changed ever 15 minutes.  That lasted for about two diaper changes before I put a halt to it. 

I can understand that, sometimes scripted mesh diapers with messages could potentially become annoying, unless its set to where its private and only the user can see it. Otherwise, scripted diapers for child avatars aren't entirely a bad thing. 

Edited May 26 by NicholasTheHufflepuffWizard

[Madi Melodious]

20 hours ago, Love Zhaoying said:

Ok, then to me your answer means: Not all child avatars are always "in character" as a child of the age they portray.

I'm going to come back around to this as it has me thinking.   In character depends on where you are and what you are doing, I guess.    When there are a lot of us around and we are dancing and listing to music most of us chat exactly as we would in RL.   At this point I don't consider then child avatars any more than I consider a furry fox a rl fox.   This is just the digital image they have chosen portray themselves in a virtual world.   Why they do, or why anyone does anything in SL, is really none of my business and I do mind my own business.

There are times when even I will slip into a childish mode for fun.  I do that with this avatar and my adult avatar.  Like the time my adult alt was caught playing Grand Theft Auto: SL on the mainland.  Or the time my sis and alt got caught stealing a 737 out of that airport over the Blake. 

One of my steadfast rules is do not try to force your fantasy on me.   If you are roleplaying as a furry or a child do not attempt to force me to roleplay as one too, or even treat you as such.  I've had this discussion with a few family role-players that assume because I'm a child avatar that I'm going to play in to their family fantasy.  A few where okay with me correcting them a few didn't take it well.

On the other hand, I really don't have any hard, they are more like guidelines, rules so there are exceptions.   Sometimes I will play in to the roleplaying of others if I find it fun.     That includes roleplaying for a while as a child.   But this is all voluntary on my part, not anyone else.

Most of the time if you are talking to my av, you are talking to me.  No, roleplaying involved.  

[Madi Melodious]

4 hours ago, Ayashe Ninetails said:

Thank you for the detailed answer! Now brodiac, the funniest thing is furniture is the absolute LAST product I would've assumed your community as a whole would be missing out on! I really thought that's the one category you would have the most products in, lol. Not just simply PG, but child-themed furniture and decor seems like a fun thing to make.

Furniture would be one issue.  Brodiac took me to a furniture store in SL that did make child furniture and furniture for family roleplaying.   At my home in EoT I didn't bother to resize or rescript any of the furniture.  With a few exceptions its still set for its default settings that I assume are for adult standard size SL avatars.

On the other hand, I just set up another home where I went through all of it, resized it and adjusted all the poses in it.  It took me a long time to set up all that correctly and make it look right for my size and shape.  

Even this home doesn't look like a child's home but more like a short adult.  I even have a wine making kit set out in it. 🍷

[Ayashe Ninetails]

5 minutes ago, Madi Melodious said:

Furniture would be one issue.  Brodiac took me to a furniture store in SL that did make child furniture and furniture for family roleplaying.   At my home in EoT I didn't bother to resize or rescript any of the furniture.  With a few exceptions its still set for its default settings that I assume are for adult standard size SL avatars.

On the other hand, I just set up another home where I went through all of it, resized it and adjusted all the poses in it.  It took me a long time to set up all that correctly and make it look right for my size and shape.  

Even this home doesn't look like a child's home but more like a short adult.  I even have a wine making kit set out in it. 🍷

I'm really surprised! I thought clothing would be #1 and furniture/decor #2 in the "easy to find" category. I would've never guessed you'd have to size things down and repurpose them. I imagined there would be entire furniture stores dedicated to it.

If you like food-themed and retro/vintage things, I've seen some nice whimsical furniture at Nomad (the mainstore is on Mature land). I don't remember offhand if the furniture is PG or adult, but it will likely require some resizing, at least. The ice cream parlor set is really cute and includes some cones you can slap onto the walls.

[Persephone Emerald]

If I'm speaking in IMs or group chat, I do so as if I'm speaking with the person behind the avatar. If I'm speaking with someone in local, I generally do so as if I'm speaking to the avatar they present. If I know them in RL, I usually speak to their RL self, unless they're presenting as an alt. Then I speak to them as their alt.

In RL I don't talk down to children. I speak with them much as I would with an adult, except in language and around themes they'd be comfortable with. I speak the same way with child avatars. I might ask how old they are and what they like to do in SL. I detest baby-talk and won't respond with it myself.

If I'm presenting as a realistic wolf-dog or cat in SL, I avoid speaking in local, but I will speak in IM. When others see me as a wolf-dog or cat, they should expect me to respond to most comments with barks or mews. In RL I speak to dogs and cats as if they are humans who can understand me, so it's not unusual for me to speak to them in SL this way too.  😸

Maybe this perspective comes from doing RP in SL. Inworld, in local, I think we're all more or less in character, while IMs are for personal OOC communication.

[Paula MacKay]

I have been reading this forum and the replies here have been outstanding.  I am Jame's sL Mum.  He has been the best addition to our family ever.  Our only son and for a long time our only child.  He has an older sister that seems to have left SL  Not all SL kids are as polite and respectful as James and those actions.  Due to that his Dad took a bit more time deciding if we would have children. 

I played a child avatar myself long time ago.  I have been here 17 years on this avatar my original avi was here 2 years before that.  Having a child in this world is fun.  You see things from a child's point of view if the individual is good at portraying a child.  James does that very well,

I am proud that he began this thread and appreciate all the comments that have been shared. 

Being the Parent of a child is a commitment.  You need to be ready to spend time with your child or children.  Participate in things with them.  James understands there are times I have other things to do as I understand he does as well. But we have family time. And that is very important in my mind. 

I am sorry that the world (that strange one of RL) has invaded SL to the point that now rules have to be made for children to stop actions that never should happen.  When I was a kid in SL I was welcome on adult sims and areas that were more graphical and not for me were posted.  I was treated with respect as a child there and gave respect in return.  It unfortunately has changed a lot since then. I do however applaud Linden Labs for watching out for the kid avatars.  I am sorry the burden has fallen to the kids to keep the adults in line but that happens.  

Ok sorry I get to talking and go on and on but one last thing to say. 

To each and every one who has replied to this thread Thank you!  The more we work together for what each of us wants out of SL and respect the boundaries set the better we all can enjoy our second life experience.  

James's Mum   who goes by Roxy in game

 

 

 

 

 

[Lilbap]

This is a super cool thread. Fellow child avi here too, not up on tech like scripting or stuff, but if anyone wants me to answer questions I can.

[Lilbap]

I guess I can go a little into my situation.

 

I've been in SL for a long time and as an adult avatar I eventually got tired of not being able to log in without someone trying to pander me for sex. I could be sitting alone in my house, my IMs open up and its someone that happened to be in the same group I'm in that just looked at my profile and thought despite everything they'd give it a go.

 

In SL, being a kid puts me in a strange situation, especially since the ToS change. I don't really fit in with the SL kid culture as it seems to gear itself towards younger SL kids. Physically my avatar is 11, I did research into child development and thought "This is a good enough age, I can interact with adults on a functional level as well as being too young to be 'on the menu' for the SLex crowd."  I get nervous going to G rated sims because I have trouble relating to people who present as super young, and yet when I go to M rated hangout sims some people still try to get me thrown out, or worse try to get the crowd to turn against me.

I really feel that this new change has done less for 'keeping SL kids safe from predators' and more like giving ill informed people a license to come after us.

I just want to be at peace, not have to deal with harassment and get to know all the wonderful people SL has to offer!

Edited May 26 by Lilbap
I guess I'll use this now!

[brodiac90]

2 hours ago, Paula MacKay said:

I have been reading this forum and the replies here have been outstanding.  I am Jame's sL Mum.  He has been the best addition to our family ever.  Our only son and for a long time our only child.  He has an older sister that seems to have left SL  Not all SL kids are as polite and respectful as James and those actions.  Due to that his Dad took a bit more time deciding if we would have children. 

I played a child avatar myself long time ago.  I have been here 17 years on this avatar my original avi was here 2 years before that.  Having a child in this world is fun.  You see things from a child's point of view if the individual is good at portraying a child.  James does that very well,

I am proud that he began this thread and appreciate all the comments that have been shared. 

Being the Parent of a child is a commitment.  You need to be ready to spend time with your child or children.  Participate in things with them.  James understands there are times I have other things to do as I understand he does as well. But we have family time. And that is very important in my mind. 

I am sorry that the world (that strange one of RL) has invaded SL to the point that now rules have to be made for children to stop actions that never should happen.  When I was a kid in SL I was welcome on adult sims and areas that were more graphical and not for me were posted.  I was treated with respect as a child there and gave respect in return.  It unfortunately has changed a lot since then. I do however applaud Linden Labs for watching out for the kid avatars.  I am sorry the burden has fallen to the kids to keep the adults in line but that happens.  

Ok sorry I get to talking and go on and on but one last thing to say. 

To each and every one who has replied to this thread Thank you!  The more we work together for what each of us wants out of SL and respect the boundaries set the better we all can enjoy our second life experience.  

James's Mum   who goes by Roxy in game

 

 

 

 

 

Points! That's my mum (is proud) 🧡

[Sparkle Bunny]

On 5/25/2024 at 4:01 PM, brodiac90 said:

I actually know someone who intends to age up in real time, so 1 year in RL equals 1year in SL.

This is what I'm doing with my kid alt; I set up the account the day my suburban mom alt gave birth, left it largely unused for the first year or so while she raised him as a Zooby, then set him up as a Toddleedoo. So the age you see on his profile is always the age he is.

He's not inworld much, but when he is he's mostly being photographed or topping up his MyStory stats. About half the time he's on Radegast being controlled by his mom via the Lil Helper RLV attachment, though this has its limitations and isn't great for shopping or getting dressed.

He doesn't go shopping without being accompanied by an adult and he doesn't interact with strangers, because he's three. I don't really have the time for in-depth RP and like 99% of residents I find baby-talk super annoying. If someone starts pretending to have a speech impediment in group chat I will probably mute them. So recruiting somebody else to be my kid wouldn't have worked for me, or for them; I am simultaneously too flaky and too controlling.

I didn't have RL children for a whole bunch of reasons, and I have no regrets about that, but the whole point of a virtual world is that you get to dip your toe in the waters of all the other lives you couldn't have.

[Madi Melodious]

6 hours ago, Paula MacKay said:

I have been reading this forum and the replies here have been outstanding.  I am Jame's sL Mum.  He has been the best addition to our family ever.  Our only son and for a long time our only child.  He has an older sister that seems to have left SL  Not all SL kids are as polite and respectful as James and those actions.  Due to that his Dad took a bit more time deciding if we would have children. 

I agree.  James is one of the best people I've met in a long time.  We have hung out a few times in world and he is one of the few people I'm really comfortable around.

5 hours ago, Lilbap said:

I just want to be at peace, not have to deal with harassment and get to know all the wonderful people SL has to offer!

This is what I want. I want to tend to my garden sim.  Spend time chatting with people that come by.   

I just found out that I'm losing two more friends because of the new rules.   One creator will be leaving in June.  She isn't going to go back and redo skins because of some silly rule that can easily be bypassed and doesn't accomplish nothing. 

Another one is leaving because she has gotten some harassing messages about the new tos and says she just doesn't need this.  An doesn't have any faith in LL to enforce the rules fairly and honestly.  

So, by June I'll be down at least a dozen friends.  The way it seems to be going from my POV the wicked witch might just get her way.

[brodiac90]

1 hour ago, Madi Melodious said:

I agree.  James is one of the best people I've met in a long time.  We have hung out a few times in world and he is one of the few people I'm really comfortable around.

That's a big compliment - is embarrased. You're very cool too. I need to come to one of your Crooner nights at some point. Not sure if it's my scene or not but I'm all for trying out new things. 

1 hour ago, Madi Melodious said:

So, by June I'll be down at least a dozen friends.  The way it seems to be going from my POV the wicked witch might just get her way.

Yes, I think while not LL's intention, some people have certainly taken this as a green light to enact open season on child avatars. 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

I realised I never stated in the original post that this was a ask me anything (aka AMA) style thread, probably because I didn't think every child avatar would be comfortable answering all sorts of questions. I personally don't mind people asking though. If there's any questions which are too personal or sensitive i'll simply just reply with the word 'pass,' so please don't be afraid to ask. 

Similarly, I just want to thank everyone who has asked questions and all the kid avatars who have contributed. 

Edited May 27 by brodiac90