Resiliency In Second Life

[Rowan Amore]

1 minute ago, Persephone Emerald said:

It's not off-topic if it gives them a sense of control inworld. They can hit that little X in the upper right corner. Then go back into SL as an alt who doesn't have to deal with the people who have annoyed them.

Yes, your post was completely on topic.  We suggest to people all the time to create an alt to distance themselves from unpleasantness inworld.  Maybe the forum alt part just struck a nerve?

[Luna Bliss]

3 minutes ago, Persephone Emerald said:

6 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said:

That would be a good coping technique for the forum.  But I'm really going for how we cope inworld.  So, as you say to me frequently........"OFF TOPIC".

It's not off-topic if it gives them a sense of control inworld. They can hit that little X in the upper right corner. Then go back into SL as an alt who doesn't have to deal with the people who have annoyed them.

I'm going for people who need coping strategies due to experience in world.  I thought I made that clear at the start...

[Persephone Emerald]

Just now, Rowan Amore said:

Yes, your post was completely on topic.  We suggest to people all the time to create an alt to distance themselves from unpleasantness inworld.  Maybe the forum alt part just struck a nerve?

Yes. Possibly it was just bad timing on my part.

[Luna Bliss]

I'd consider enlarging coping strategies for the forum too....but we'd need to put that in the section for forum improvements..

[Love Zhaoying]

19 minutes ago, Persephone Emerald said:

Some people create alts when they feel attacked, stalked, or they want to difuse an emotionally difficult situation. We might create an alt to get away from people who bug us in SL. Some might create one to "support" them on the forums. This can be a technique to aid in their resilience.

YES!! Without creating Alts, many, many people would leave Second Life.

I believe that Alts are the ultimate "tactic" for resilience in Second Life!

@Luna Bliss, you should know that - don't you create Alts all the time?

[Luna Bliss]

6 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said:

I believe that Alts are the ultimate "tactic" for resilience in Second Life!

@Luna Bliss, you should know that - don't you create Alts all the time?

If you're a store owner and/or popular you about have to in order to have any peace. So certainly yes, a definite part of my coping strategies for dealing with SL.

[Luna Bliss]

55 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said:

58 minutes ago, Kathlen Onyx said:

My advice would be log out. Why in the world would you continue to use a platform that causes emotional pain?

Sadly, I bet some people use Second Life as their "happy place" due to RL being "not so great".  If they can't deal with Second Life, then what?

But yeah - go read a book or something. 🙂

I've known people who managed that separation and made sure everything was fun here...kept it light mainly.

However, with an equal amount this did not work...and the adage applies ....

                     "wherever you go, there you are".

Edited April 16 by Luna Bliss

[Love Zhaoying]

32 minutes ago, Persephone Emerald said:

Yes. Possibly it was just bad timing on my part.

Hopefully, you didn't hurt any Alt's feelings. Alts are resilient in Second Life.

[Luna Bliss]

Now I can reaaaaaly get behind these women advocating resiliency, as opposed to having a few questions regarding excess macho-ness when I read Kipling's poem.

 

[Jaylinbridges]

I'm late to the party as usual, but back to the original topic, here's another poem, well lyrics by James Brown.  Look at all the manly claims made in this song.  Does this make James Brown a Mysogynist?  Is this song banned and hated in the women's movement?

"It's A Man's, Man's, Man's World"

This is a man's world
This is a man's world
But it would be nothing, nothing
Without a woman or a girl

You see, man made the cars
To take us over the road
Man made the train
To carry the heavy load
Man made the electrolight
To take us out of the dark
Man made the boat for the water
Like Noah made The Ark

This is a man's, man's, man's world
But it would be nothing, nothing
Without a woman or a girl

Man thinks about a little bit of baby girls and of baby boys
Man make them happy
'Cause man make them toys
And after man make everything
Everything he can
You know that man makes money

The root of all evil
To buy another man

This is a man's world
But it would be nothing, nothing
Not one little thing
Without a woman or a girl

He's lost in the wilderness
He's lost in bitterness

 

Edited April 17 by Jaylinbridges
changed to a later concert, 2002

[LexxiXhan]

Anyway, resilience..

Is not a virtue.

But it is a significantly beneficial skill or quality that aids a person in navigating life, if their environment, relationships and circumstances have instilled it in them.

Not everyone is so fortunate. At one extreme, those who face very little adversity in life are less likely to develop resilience, and more likely to react with negative behaviours when challenged. At another extreme, some peoples' experiences are so relentlessly brutal, overwhelming or abusive that they never stood a chance to develop resilience healthily. And some are forced into resilience because the alternative is unthinkable. This is trauma, and no amount of praise for being 'strong and resilient' changes that or addresses their needs.

I struggle to summon the will to apply any of this to SL, where the most common adversities I face are just logging in or navigating a busy sim with a crappy laptop. 

[Love Zhaoying]

2 hours ago, LexxiXhan said:

Anyway, resilience..

Is not a virtue.

I love this!

We all break.

We all fall down.

It is human.

 

[Love Zhaoying]

3 hours ago, Jordyn McGregor said:

end line editing

What does this refer to? Sorry if I'm not understanding!

[Luna Bliss]

4 hours ago, LexxiXhan said:

Anyway, resilience..

Is not a virtue.

But it is a significantly beneficial skill or quality that aids a person in navigating life, if their environment, relationships and circumstances have instilled it in them.

Not everyone is so fortunate. At one extreme, those who face very little adversity in life are less likely to develop resilience, and more likely to react with negative behaviours when challenged. At another extreme, some peoples' experiences are so relentlessly brutal, overwhelming or abusive that they never stood a chance to develop resilience healthily. And some are forced into resilience because the alternative is unthinkable. This is trauma, and no amount of praise for being 'strong and resilient' changes that or addresses their needs.

I struggle to summon the will to apply any of this to SL, where the most common adversities I face are just logging in or navigating a busy sim with a crappy laptop. 

I like your thoughtful examination on the topic..

Though not a virtue (worthy of external praise in the sense of telling another they are somehow 'better' for having this quality), do you think providing tools so that others can be more resilient is a worthy endeavor?  I know quite a few groups in SL who do just that (enable others to function inworld better, to enjoy their SL lives with greater ease).

Edited April 17 by Luna Bliss

[Luna Bliss]

4 hours ago, LexxiXhan said:

Anyway, resilience..

Is not a virtue.

But it is a significantly beneficial skill or quality that aids a person in navigating life, if their environment, relationships and circumstances have instilled it in them.

But I instilled resilience in myself. My childhood reads like a horror story, and I decided I wanted to learn coping skills (learn resilience) to overcome it. While I sought help from the "environment, relationships, and circumstances" around me in my endeavor (including those I found within SL), it was me who chose to pursue this worthy goal so I could have the best life possible. I chose my path.

It sounds like you're saying resilience can only come from outside ourselves.

Edited April 17 by Luna Bliss

[Persephone Emerald]

3 hours ago, Love Zhaoying said:

What does this refer to? Sorry if I'm not understanding!

The last line of the poem as Luna posted it, is not in the original. It's actually:

If you can fill the unforgiving minute

    With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,   

Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,   

    And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!

[Garnet Psaltery]

I have a couple of things to say and then I'll probably bow out as this topic is making me feel a little sick.

@Luna Bliss it angers me that you take a perfectly fine poem lovingly written by a man to his son in guidance for his future, presenting it in a twisted version to suit your purposes.  Never mind that you got it in this form in your much-touted 'wisdom' class, you had the option to pass it on or not.  There were of course immediate rantings about racism and misogyny, which are nothing to do with the supposed topic, and are disputable anyway.

Then there was your nasty little jab at the Christian God, mocking our use of the male address for Him - for which there are reasons which I am not supposed to discuss here.  You continue to assume the right to say things about religion as though the forum rules don't apply to you.  For all your self-belief you appear to have little understanding of people and no idea how offensive you can be.

If you respond to this with a Biblical quotation you will simply prove my point.

Edited April 17 by Garnet Psaltery
Typo.

[Love Zhaoying]

55 minutes ago, Persephone Emerald said:

The last line of the poem as Luna posted it, is not in the original. It's actually:

If you can fill the unforgiving minute

    With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,   

Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,   

    And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!

Rather disingenuous. 

[Persephone Emerald]

1 minute ago, Love Zhaoying said:

Rather disingenuous. 

And it doesn't even rhyme.

[Love Zhaoying]

17 minutes ago, Garnet Psaltery said:

I have a couple of things to say and then I'll probably bow out as this topic is making me feel a little sick.

@Luna Bliss it angers me that you take a perfectly fine poem lovingly written by a man to his son in guidance for his future, presenting it in a twisted version to suit your purposes.  Never mind that you got it in this form in your much-touted 'wisdom' class, you had the option to pass it on or not.  There were of course immediate rantings about racism and misogyny, which are nothing to do with the supposed topic, and are disputable anyway.

Then there was your nasty little jab at the Christian God, mocking our use of the male address for Him - for which there are reasons which I am not supposed to discuss here.  You continue to assume the right to say things about religion as though the forum rules don't apply to you.  For all your self-belief you appear to have little understanding of people and no idea how offensive you can be.

If you respond to this with a Biblical quotation you will simply prove my point.

I asked earlier in the thread  if I could post Psalms! So for once, we are in agreement. (I was mostly afraid you'd think it was somehow a poke at you if I posted Psalms.)

[Luna Bliss]

I particularly love this song about resilience sung by Joan Baez...We Shall Overcome:

 

[Love Zhaoying]

1 minute ago, Luna Bliss said:

I particularly love this song about resilience sung by Joan Baez...We Shall Overcome:

 

Makes you wonder if she was singing about the Mods, Lindens, or Moles. 

[Garnet Psaltery]

20 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said:

I asked earlier in the thread  if I could post Psalms! So for once, we are in agreement. (I was mostly afraid you'd think it was somehow a poke at you if I posted Psalms.)

Coming from you?  Not at all.

[Luna Bliss]

Interesting thoughts by Baez in recent years...saying we overcome a bit at a time. True for individuals trying to overcome and develop resilience as well as larger groups of people affecting change.  BTW, Whole Brain Health has a lot of classes designed for the aging brain...seeing as we're all approaching elderly status we might need some of those classes to develop the resilience that would help us enjoy SL better as the years roll by.  Joan:

 

Edited April 17 by Luna Bliss

[Love Zhaoying]

7 minutes ago, Garnet Psaltery said:

Coming from you?  Not at all.

Thanks! Next opportunity, I won't be shy. In my post regarding it, I pointed out that there are loads of Bible verses about "resiliency"; Psalms being a great choice since it is seen as poetry (song).