I like to make friends, but for some reason, frankly, they treat me coldly, I had a few Turkish friends, then they treated me coldly, why do you think?

[sufbee]

Recently, I thought I would add friends, when I added SL, they started to treat me coldly and some of them were friendly, but I have usually had more than 10 million friends, but none of them were cold to me, I made 2 Turkish friends, they treated me very coldly and started to exaggerate everything, and I was usually a friendly person, but when this happened in SL, I was a little weird

[Alwin Alcott]

you can't be friends with 10 million people. 

[sufbee]

30 minutes ago, Alwin Alcott said:

10 milyon insanla arkadaş olamazsın. 

I had more than 10 million friends on Facebook and around me, at work, at school, at university, even on TikTok, but they cut off contact with me because they had work

[Alwin Alcott]

32 minutes ago, sufbee said:

I had more than 10 million friends on Facebook and around me, at work, at school, at university, even on TikTok, but they cut off contact with me because they had work

in Second Life you have to actually DO  something ánd BE somebody to get friends. Friends are no empty nothing saying numbers that you seem to be used to.
Friends are a group of people you can have real contacts with, personally know their ins and outs. Support eachother when needed. At most possible with a very small amount of people.
Wrong platform for your goal.

Edited October 10, 2023 by Alwin Alcott

[pizza7]

3 hours ago, sufbee said:

I had more than 10 million friends on Facebook and around me, at work, at school, at university, even on TikTok, but they cut off contact with me because they had work

 

those are not friends, just followers.

friends in sl means something else, you need to invest in the relation else it wont last long.

[Orwar]

   I don't think anyone could survive having 10,000,000 friends.

   Death by too many birthday cakes!

[Love Zhaoying]

I've come to the conclusion that "10 million" is a translation error. 

I recall that when I was young and in school, I learned that the Spanish word "mille" means "1 thousand" in English.  ("Son mille de pesetas" was in the filmstrip text.)

 

 

[Alwin Alcott]

32 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said:

I've come to the conclusion that "10 million" is a translation error. 

I recall that when I was young and in school, I learned that the Spanish word "mille" means "1 thousand" in English.  ("Son mille de pesetas" was in the filmstrip text.)

 

 

also 10k is absurd and ímpossible to be friends

[Love Zhaoying]

19 minutes ago, Alwin Alcott said:

also 10k is absurd and ímpossible to be friends

Yep, even if you had that many "friends" on Facebook - SL is not a place for "Influencers".

And, anyone could be "cold" to you for any reason. But often times, either a) they are having a bad day or b) they just don't feel like talking, or c) your approach to them - something you said - triggered their response.

[Randy Pole]

Friends in SL are not numbers. It does not make you a bigger person in terms of anything for having many "friends". The prevalence of follower / friend numbers on anti-social media has distorted what friend actually means. You need to have things in common. You need to share what is important, not overshare and also (importantly) give people their space.

Just because someone is on your friend list and happen to be online does not mean that they want to be all chatty and meet up.

An old associate (for I shall not overuse the word friend) said that friending someone in SL is the kiss of death to communication and interaction. In a way I think they are correct.

I meet friends be seeing who hangs out at the same places I do. We chat several times. After a few days or even weeks I may suggest friending but to be honest there is no need for me to friend as I have calling cards of those I consider friends and do not need to ask them if they think the same about me.

[Rowan Amore]

37 minutes ago, North Pole said:

I meet friends be seeing who hangs out at the same places I do. We chat several times. After a few days or even weeks I may suggest friending but to be honest there is no need for me to friend as I have calling cards of those I consider friends and do not need to ask them if they think the same about me.

This is how I approach the whole friend situation and have for several years.  I see the same people in the same places all the time.  We may chat but I don't NEED to place them on a list to do so.  If I see them, I say Hi.  I honestly hated IMing people out of the blue who were on my list.  I always assumed they were busy doing their own thing and I'd catch up with them when I saw them.  Not having them on the list eliminates hurt feelings and "Why don't you ever message me?" drama. 

[PermaRuthed]

20 hours ago, sufbee said:

I have usually had more than 10 million friends,

[Extrude Ragu]

Why did OP mention they are Turkish twice, are they implying there is some significance to this 🤔

[Love Zhaoying]

9 minutes ago, Extrude Ragu said:

Why did OP mention they are Turkish twice, are they implying there is some significance to this 🤔

Perhaps there is some message that the "cold" Second Life "friends" are NOT Turkish, so it could be a cultural thing?

Every friend can seem "cold" if you have expectations that are not met, no matter the culture.

[Ocean Starchild]

On 10/10/2023 at 11:39 AM, Love Zhaoying said:

Yep, even if you had that many "friends" on Facebook - SL is not a place for "Influencers".

And, anyone could be "cold" to you for any reason. But often times, either a) they are having a bad day or b) they just don't feel like talking, or c) your approach to them - something you said - triggered their response.

I'm pretty sure Facebook also limits you to 5,000 friends, after which they push you to change from a personal account to a "likeable" business/fan page

[PheebyKatz]

As a former virtual idol, I can tell you right now that in SL you'll be best off with a handful of real friends, some people you admire on speed dial, and being in a few semi-active groups. That whole social media thing is sort of an appendage that got grafted onto SL, after too many normal people found out about it and joined up to see what the rest of us weirdoes were doing.

[xantchablackrose]

If you had 10 million friends then I would think that would make you a horrible friend, because how can you give your time to that many people? You have to give and take to make a relationship, just because someone is on your friend's list doesn't mean you are friends. People throw the term friend at me a lot on SL and I say "You only met me today, it takes more time to know each other before the f word can truly mean anything." Sometimes you're not compatible with people because they only present a front for whatever reason or goal they want to achieve. If I sleep with someone it doesn't mean we're in a relationship so because someone adds me to their friends list doesn't mean we're automatically friends. 

 

[Polenth Yue]

On 11/5/2023 at 9:50 PM, xantchablackrose said:

If you had 10 million friends then I would think that would make you a horrible friend, because how can you give your time to that many people?

I think this was just a terminology misunderstanding. I have many thousands of friends across social media networks... but they're not actual relationship friends. It's just what some platforms call them. So when someone comes to Second Life, they can think the friends list is meant that way rather than being a personal contact list.

Though it sounds like the original poster was looking for some actual friends too. In which case, my usual advice is going to events and joining groups related to your interests.

[Destiny Marques]

With 10,000,000 friends, someone is bound to feel neglected.