Love Zhaoying Posted October 13, 2023 Share Posted October 13, 2023 2 minutes ago, Sid Nagy said: And I guess, what you use or don't use in your profile is up to you, Love, but don't expect that everybody is fluent in kitties talk or whatever other typonese.. Hi, Sid! Just to clarify: The "^^~" question to Cold Shiver wasn't really about text "in the profile" - they were complaining about people using "text emotes" with "cutesy" things when messaging someone. 23 minutes ago, Cold Shiver said: And then if you call them out they'll tell you "I'm sorry you feel that way :o" Perhaps its an overreaction but I'm actually at the point where if I see someone use ":o" or ":3" emojis I almost immediately have my guard up. But if someone DID put "tee hee", ":0", ":3" and such in their profile, that would be a nice giant red flag for me! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ceka Cianci Posted October 13, 2023 Share Posted October 13, 2023 1 minute ago, Sid Nagy said: People CAN read profiles. Nobody can be forced to do so. Nobody should expect that people do. I never read profiles. Only to find info about creators. I'm not interested in family stuff, the expected do and don't. If people feel so self important that they expect others to study their profiles first, it is their problem not mine. If I want to start talking to someone I don't know, I just start and take it from there, just like in RL. Sue me. And I guess, what you use or don't use in your profile is up to you, Love, but don't expect that everybody is fluent in kitties talk or whatever other typonese.. So it's safe to say, when we were talking in world the other day. You didn't see the groups in my profile that I started to hide out of pure shame? Oh crap, it's Sid! \o/ hehehe 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cold Shiver Posted October 13, 2023 Share Posted October 13, 2023 28 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said: Are kitties OK? ^^~ ^-^~ etc. Yeah those are fine, I don't ever see those around. Obviously emojis I spoke about earlier aren't bad by themselves, it's just I've seen them used so often passive aggressively I've become a bit leery of them. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Love Zhaoying Posted October 13, 2023 Share Posted October 13, 2023 1 minute ago, Cold Shiver said: Yeah those are fine, I don't ever see those around. Obviously emojis I spoke about earlier aren't bad by themselves, it's just I've seen them used so often passive aggressively I've become a bit leery of them. Peeve: Passive-aggressive people are often also gaslighting! 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sid Nagy Posted October 13, 2023 Share Posted October 13, 2023 (edited) 11 minutes ago, Ceka Cianci said: So it's safe to say, when we were talking in world the other day. You didn't see the groups in my profile that I started to hide out of pure shame? Oh crap, it's Sid! \o/ hehehe Nope. It seems you did a lot of extra work for nothing. I saw with my scanner that you were nearby. Reason enough to say hi for me. Edited October 13, 2023 by Sid Nagy 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cold Shiver Posted October 13, 2023 Share Posted October 13, 2023 1 minute ago, Love Zhaoying said: Peeve: Passive-aggressive people are often also gaslighting! YES! So much YES! Red flags bring friends to the party, always. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sid Nagy Posted October 13, 2023 Share Posted October 13, 2023 (edited) Peeve: people should make their second lives more uncomplicated. There isn't a boogeyman or creep behind each keyboard, far from that. And if it is the case in your inworld live, you might enjoy your Second Life in the wrong places IMHO. You're always only one click away from a better, more enjoyable place. There are almost 30 thousand regions to pick from. Edited October 13, 2023 by Sid Nagy Saturday comes in sight. 5 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ceka Cianci Posted October 13, 2023 Share Posted October 13, 2023 10 minutes ago, Sid Nagy said: Nope. It seems you did a lot of extra work for nothing. I saw with my scanner that you were nearby. Reason enough to say hi for me. I'm glad you did..It was a nice chat. If I would have noticed you first, oh boy would I have snuck up from behind and screamed BOO! hehehe 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sammy Huntsman Posted October 13, 2023 Share Posted October 13, 2023 8 hours ago, Ceka Cianci said: That's not using gaming or tv or a phone as a baby sitter.. That's moderation and me time which is a good thing.. If cellphones were alcohol, we'd be talking about world wide alcoholism, kids included. If a teen loses their phone or it breaks for some reason, they don't just lose their phone, they lose their mind and don't know what to do without it.. That's scary. I didn't get a phone until I was 18, but even then it was a flip phone and very basic. And I only used it, when I absolutely needed it. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ceka Cianci Posted October 13, 2023 Share Posted October 13, 2023 Just now, Sammy Huntsman said: I didn't get a phone until I was 18, but even then it was a flip phone and very basic. And I only used it, when I absolutely needed it. I actually miss my simple little flip phone.. They were smaller and fit so much better in my hand and I never dropped it.. I can't tell you how many times I drop the phone I have now. A lot of times it's like, How in the heck did I just drop that thing? hehehe 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zalificent Corvinus Posted October 13, 2023 Share Posted October 13, 2023 23 minutes ago, Sid Nagy said: Nope. It seems you did a lot of extra work for nothing. I saw with my scanner that you were nearby. Reason enough to say hi for me. There's a bit in my profile that says very clearly, "Sorry guys I won't date you". That's to uncomplicate their lives, by preventing the "extra work for nothing" of IM'ing me to ask me to date them if that's their ONLY reason for calling.. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sid Nagy Posted October 13, 2023 Share Posted October 13, 2023 5 minutes ago, Zalificent Corvinus said: There's a bit in my profile that says very clearly, "Sorry guys I won't date you". That's to uncomplicate their lives, by preventing the "extra work for nothing" of IM'ing me to ask me to date them if that's their ONLY reason for calling.. I can see the reason why you do so, but you can't expect that everyone has read your profile. I'm never active in the dating part of SL, but if I were I guess I would use reading profiles in advance as a sieve too. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Love Zhaoying Posted October 13, 2023 Share Posted October 13, 2023 5 minutes ago, Sid Nagy said: I can see the reason why you do so, but you can't expect that everyone has read your profile. I'm never active in the dating part of SL, but if I were I guess I would use reading profiles in advance as a sieve too. Peeve: As an alternative to expecting someone to read your profile, how about this? 1. Put your caveats / exclusions in your profile, example: "I don't date, sorry!", "I'm happily married", etc. 2. If someone does not read your profile and messages you something about one of your caveats / exclusions, instead of repeating the information in your profile (which can be awkward and possibly lead to contentious chat): Say, "I'm sorry, but could you please check my profile?" This way, you and the other person are spared the possibly awkward conversation of a) repeating information that is in your profile, and b) stating that information in a way that the other person can then continue to discuss it. Basically, if you direct someone politely to "please read my profile", then you don't have to talk about "the thing". 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ayashe Ninetails Posted October 13, 2023 Share Posted October 13, 2023 The read my profile thing is so annoying in normal conversation. Any time I see someone say it (in general - not to me, as I am a profile reader anyway), I feel like screaming "Read these Nikes!" Damn, now I gotta go listen to that. 3 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Love Zhaoying Posted October 13, 2023 Share Posted October 13, 2023 (edited) 2 minutes ago, Ayashe Ninetails said: The read my profile thing is so annoying in normal conversation. Any time I see someone say it (in general - not to me, as I am a profile reader anyway), I feel like screaming "Read these Nikes!" Damn, now I gotta go listen to that. Sorry! It beats responding to someone who is crude or asks, "Can I bite you?", etc. for example, if those things were actual triggers for you. Because they will ask "Why not?" Edited October 13, 2023 by Love Zhaoying Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cold Shiver Posted October 13, 2023 Share Posted October 13, 2023 30 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said: Peeve: As an alternative to expecting someone to read your profile, how about this? 1. Put your caveats / exclusions in your profile, example: "I don't date, sorry!", "I'm happily married", etc. 2. If someone does not read your profile and messages you something about one of your caveats / exclusions, instead of repeating the information in your profile (which can be awkward and possibly lead to contentious chat): Say, "I'm sorry, but could you please check my profile?" This way, you and the other person are spared the possibly awkward conversation of a) repeating information that is in your profile, and b) stating that information in a way that the other person can then continue to discuss it. Basically, if you direct someone politely to "please read my profile", then you don't have to talk about "the thing". If they say they don't read profiles (often in their profile lol), then I've no reason to believe they'll suddenly change for me. I read profiles because I care about not violating someone's boundaries. (I don't read the "family" or "friends" or "if you mess with my sub" type picks since it's very same old, same old). If someone is the type to skirt around boundaries, or whine about boundaries being there in there in the first place (yes I've had people whinge at me for not being down for sex) then they're slimy and I don't want in them in my life, I won't waste effort on someone who shows me their true colours from the beginning or force the issue. I'll just ignore them, I don't owe them a reply or my attention. Exceptions exist of course, noobs, people with poor english. Crowded/laggy events. I 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ayashe Ninetails Posted October 13, 2023 Share Posted October 13, 2023 4 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said: Sorry! It beats responding to someone who is crude or asks, "Can I bite you?", etc. for example, if those things were actual triggers for you. Because they will ask "Why not?" In real life, I walk around with a notebook with my entire life story and discussion limits scribbled out inside and hand it to someone before we begin conversing. 😏 Kidding, of course. I just dive in and chat with them. But no seriously, I understand the value of having a profile in general, but I certainly ignore the ones filled with whole massive rants and lists detailing what they like/hate about people and instructions about how to approach them. I mostly just look to see if someone's creative/funny and check out their sense of humor and interests. If I don't see that, I'll keep it moving. I'm not going to read 3 Picks worth of conversation rules and limits and dos and donts. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sammy Huntsman Posted October 13, 2023 Share Posted October 13, 2023 1 hour ago, Ceka Cianci said: I actually miss my simple little flip phone.. They were smaller and fit so much better in my hand and I never dropped it.. I can't tell you how many times I drop the phone I have now. A lot of times it's like, How in the heck did I just drop that thing? hehehe I don't, it was a pain in the tuckus to type any sort of text out. Lol. But I mean I didn't mind it, and got used to it 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Love Zhaoying Posted October 13, 2023 Share Posted October 13, 2023 Just now, Ayashe Ninetails said: In real life, I walk around with a notebook with my entire life story and discussion limits scribbled out inside and hand it to someone before we begin conversing. 😏 Kidding, of course. I just dive in and chat with them. Right! And in real life, people walk around directly propositioning you. This is the most common example in SL. Kidding, of course, but if they were to do so, would you respond as if "it's nothing unusual or bothersome, just dive in and chat"? I just don't believe in encouraging "creeps". Sorry! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zalificent Corvinus Posted October 13, 2023 Share Posted October 13, 2023 54 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said: Peeve: As an alternative to expecting someone to read your profile, how about this? 1. Put your caveats / exclusions in your profile, example: "I don't date, sorry!", "I'm happily married", etc. 2. If someone does not read your profile and messages you something about one of your caveats / exclusions, instead of repeating the information in your profile (which can be awkward and possibly lead to contentious chat): Say, "I'm sorry, but could you please check my profile?" This way, you and the other person are spared the possibly awkward conversation of a) repeating information that is in your profile, and b) stating that information in a way that the other person can then continue to discuss it. Basically, if you direct someone politely to "please read my profile", then you don't have to talk about "the thin I just made a new group tag in my home land group that reads: "Man Hating D*ke" Saves me having to ask them to do anything or explain anything to them. Quicker, easier, simpler, more effective. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ayashe Ninetails Posted October 13, 2023 Share Posted October 13, 2023 2 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said: Right! And in real life, people walk around directly propositioning you. This is the most common example in SL. I'm a woman. Yes, this is a real thing people do in the real world. Sometimes even at night on the street when you're just trying to get from Point A to Point B in a hurry. They might even follow you. Now there's a big ole peeve. 3 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said: Kidding, of course, but if they were to do so, would you respond as if "it's nothing unusual or bothersome, just dive in and chat"? No, you generally keep walking, stay in the crowd, possibly cross to the other side of the street if able, and avoid making eye contact. Female 101. In SL, you can do the same thing - just walk away or close the IM window. If they're annoying, hit the block button. Easy. Not sure what any of that has to do with reading profiles, though, or even my original statement about my reaction when I overhear someone say that line to someone else. I think we're talking about two completely different situations. 2 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silent Mistwalker Posted October 13, 2023 Share Posted October 13, 2023 13 hours ago, Persephone Emerald said: I wasn't picked on by everyone, just by the bullies who probably resented me for some reason or another. I was still different, the loner who befriended the other kids who were picked on, because I had been picked on too. That isn't what I meant by different. Try being the only First Nations in the whole school of all white. Bullying would be putting it mildly. Torture is more accurate. 3 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Love Zhaoying Posted October 13, 2023 Share Posted October 13, 2023 2 minutes ago, Ayashe Ninetails said: No, you generally keep walking, stay in the crowd, possibly cross to the other side of the street if able, and avoid making eye contact. Female 101. In SL, you can do the same thing - just walk away or close the IM window. If they're annoying, hit the block button. Easy. Not sure what any of that has to do with reading profiles, though, or even my original statement about my reaction when I overhear someone say that line to someone else. I think we're talking about two completely different situations. Right! So, instead of responding "at all", or as you said, "dive in and chat"..just close the IM window. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ayashe Ninetails Posted October 13, 2023 Share Posted October 13, 2023 1 minute ago, Love Zhaoying said: Right! So, instead of responding "at all", or as you said, "dive in and chat"..just close the IM window. Yes, I said "dive in and chat," because in the situation *I* had in mind, it was a normal conversation example where a person would be asked something like "hey, what do you like to do for fun?" and the other person would respond with a "read my profile," which IMO is rude. What ANY of that has to do with being harassed I have absolutely zero idea. I wasn't referring to that at all. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ceka Cianci Posted October 13, 2023 Share Posted October 13, 2023 10 minutes ago, Sammy Huntsman said: I don't, it was a pain in the tuckus to type any sort of text out. Lol. But I mean I didn't mind it, and got used to it I didn't text because it cost extra, that and I just didn't like it..I didn't even like having a phone on me where anyone could get me at any moment, but had to have one for our family businesses.. My sister and brother got in trouble from adding up 1200.00 in one month from texting on our family plan.. My father just looked at that long, long list of text charges and I just seen him getting madder and madder the closer he would get to the bottom of the list.. lol We were on a family plan and he cut off any texting from then on or get your own plan.. hehehe 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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