Mental Health, Mental Wellness, and Empathy

[Scylla Rhiadra]

Mental health has long been weaponized as a means of dismissing or denigrating the very real issues faced both by those with actual mental health issues, and those who have merely expressed a perspective that is "different" from those of the norms of our culture.

It's a two-pronged attack: employ misinformation and ridicule to stigmatize actual mental health issues in such a way as to silence those who struggle with them, and then throw the accusation of being "mentally unfit" or "unwell" at anyone whose views are perceived as being at all transgressive. At the heart of this approach is an attempt to establish a "norm" of mental health, which is actually a political perspective, and define anyone who falls outside of that norm as "warped" or "crazy" or "unfit."

It's a perspective that can certainly be found in SL, both in-world and, on occasion, in these forums. There are a great many ways to combat it, of which perhaps the most effective is education: understanding mental health issues removes a great deal of the stigma and fear that surrounds them.

it's also useful to employ empathy.

Quote

Empathy. It’s the capacity we share as human beings to step into each other’s shoes. To understand where they’re coming from and what they’re feeling. To listen hard and refuse to judge. It’s also one way to reduce and resolve conflict.

(Canadian Mental Health Association)

It seems to me that empathy is one important way to learn to understand mental health issues, and is, at the same time, an exercise in mental wellness. Empathy makes us better; it makes us stronger. And it makes us much less afraid.

This might be a good opportunity to share our own experiences with coming to understand mental illness and issues -- in SL, or in RL.

Please keep the discussion here civil. A first step is, of course, not to stigmatize or ridicule mental health issues. This thread is, I hope, about connecting and understanding, and not about dismissing others.

ETA: I need to acknowledge @Persephone Emerald, who first raised this really worthwhile subject here in a thread that is now, alas, closed.

Edited June 21, 2022 by Scylla Rhiadra
Important omission

[Codex Alpha]

7 minutes ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

Mental health has long been weaponized as a means of dismissing or denigrating the very real issues faced both by those with actual mental health issues, and those who have merely expressed a perspective that is "different" from those of the norms of our culture.

How has mental health been weaponized?

How would we see this in practice? Some examples?

What perspectives would be considered 'different' from those of the norms of our culture and how are they dismissed?

7 minutes ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

It's a two-pronged attack: employ misinformation and ridicule to stigmatize actual mental health issues in such a way as to silence those who struggle with them, and then throw the accusation of being "mentally unfit" or "unwell" at anyone whose views are perceived as being at all transgressive. At the heart of this approach is an attempt to establish a "norm" of mental health, which is actually a political perspective, and define anyone who falls outside of that norm as "warped" or "crazy" or "unfit."

What kinds of misinformation  would be employed and relating to which mental health issues, and how do they silence those that struggle with said mental issues?

Who throws accusations of "mentally unfit" or "unwell" and which transgressive views are we speaking of exactly?

There is a 'normal' range of any issue. It is referred to as a 'bell curve' or 'median' or 'average' or 'general' trend, state or character of a thing, things or persons or groups. When people fall outside of this spectrum, the majority will recognize them as the 'exception, not the rule', and scientifically it makes sense to treat such minority percentages as they are. Hence the 'exception to the rule'  should not be argued as a general rule, nor should be an exception used to apply a method, limit, law or rule on the majority.

Who is calling people on the end of the bell curve 'crazy' or 'warped'?

7 minutes ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

It's a perspective that can certainly be found in SL, both in-world and, on occasion, in these forums. There are a great many ways to combat it, of which perhaps the most effective is education: understanding mental health issues removes a great deal of the stigma and fear that surrounds them.

All perspectives can be found in SL, both in world and on these forums. It doesn't mean it's wrong or right, it's just a perspective, which is just another word for saying "someone's opinion".

Education is fine, but most people are quite educated on a number of issues, yet still hold their opinion - mainly because they HAVE actually educated themselves, looked at both sides of the equation, and came to their own conclusion over it.

Which ways would you suggest that would help combat a difference of opinion, perception or worldview?

 

7 minutes ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

it's also useful to employ empathy.

It seems to me that empathy is one important way to learn to understand mental health issues, and is, at the same time, an exercise in mental wellness. Empathy makes us better; it makes us stronger. And it makes us much less afraid.

Yes, empathy is an important trait to have - the ability to put oneself into another person's shoes, to understand their perspective, to recognize their perspective, to respect their perspective...

and yet still disagree with it.

A bit more empathy for everyone and by everyone in this world (on all issues) is certainly needed.

 

[Jester Shenanigans]

2 minutes ago, Codex Alpha said:

How has mental health been weaponized?

How would we see this in practice? Some examples?

What perspectives would be considered 'different' from those of the norms of our culture and how are they dismissed?

What kinds of misinformation  would be employed and relating to which mental health issues, and how do they silence those that struggle with said mental issues?

Who throws accusations of "mentally unfit" or "unwell" and which transgressive views are we speaking of exactly?

There is a 'normal' range of any issue. It is referred to as a 'bell curve' or 'median' or 'average' or 'general' trend, state or character of a thing, things or persons or groups. When people fall outside of this spectrum, the majority will recognize them as the 'exception, not the rule', and scientifically it makes sense to treat such minority percentages as they are. Hence the 'exception to the rule'  should not be argued as a general rule, nor should be an exception used to apply a method, limit, law or rule on the majority.

Who is calling people on the end of the bell curve 'crazy' or 'warped'?

All perspectives can be found in SL, both in world and on these forums. It doesn't mean it's wrong or right, it's just a perspective, which is just another word for saying "someone's opinion".

Education is fine, but most people are quite educated on a number of issues, yet still hold their opinion - mainly because they HAVE actually educated themselves, looked at both sides of the equation, and came to their own conclusion over it.

Which ways would you suggest that would help combat a difference of opinion, perception or worldview?

 

Yes, empathy is an important trait to have - the ability to put oneself into another person's shoes, to understand their perspective, to recognize their perspective, to respect their perspective...

and yet still disagree with it.

A bit more empathy for everyone and by everyone in this world (on all issues) is certainly needed.

 

Those are very good questions that i would also like to know the answers to, also i would like to add about the empathy thing sometimes it is hard to have it when you have some sort of mental change, like myself i have ptsd from combat and i lost my empathy, so there,s a lot of people who are relearning to get it back

[Love Zhaoying]

1 minute ago, Coffee Pancake said:

Here we go again .. 

I don't believe it's possible to have these discussions on this forum as certain people will always derail the topics in ways that make any meaningful participation inherently unsafe, yet for some reason these tactics are entirely permissible.

It's not hard for me, at least - at this point - to ignore or report certain posts (if appropriate). If we don't provoke them or reply, it will be OK. 

[Arielle Popstar]

33 minutes ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

it's also useful to employ empathy.

It seems to me that empathy is one important way to learn to understand mental health issues, and is, at the same time, an exercise in mental wellness. Empathy makes us better; it makes us stronger. And it makes us much less afraid.

This might be a good opportunity to share our own experiences with coming to understand mental illness and issues -- in SL, or in RL.

Please keep the discussion here civil. A first step is, of course, not to stigmatize or ridicule mental health issues. This thread is, I hope, about connecting and understanding, and not about dismissing others.

ETA: I need to acknowledge @Persephone Emerald, who first raised this really worthwhile subject here in a thread that is now, alas, closed.

Well I for one had no ability to empathize with those who were mentally ill until I acknowledged my own mental illnesses and the insanities they produced in my life. The coming to realize I was not entirely sane was a process of slowly realizing that most of the population is in a similar situation but that the degree and types of insanities may differ in each and may not even be seen by others as a mental illness. Recovery has been a 2 pronged path involving letting go or changing old behaviours which weren't working for me but even more importantly that I am not alone in having these self defeating behaviours and accepting them to the degree that I can laugh at them with the realization that I am just human and therefore prone to characteristics which are outside of the bell curve in some areas.

[Luna Bliss]

51 minutes ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

Mental health has long been weaponized as a means of dismissing or denigrating the very real issues faced both by those with actual mental health issues, and those who have merely expressed a perspective that is "different" from those of the norms of our culture.

An example of mental health weaponization comes to mind for me. There was a family member who said he would never fly in a plane with a woman  pilot because women have a tendency to get too emotional and so during a crisis would not function as well. Women have been dismissed in this way for ages, deemed as less competent and so punished socially and economically, and it's still happening.
I'm not sure 'being emotional' could be categorized as a mental illness, but the inability to control emotions is a milestone in development and a component of various mental illnesses.

Women may be, on average, more expressive with emotions...but this does not translate to being out of control emotionally (letting emotions control oneself to the point of rationality taking a back seat). 

[Love Zhaoying]

45 minutes ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

This might be a good opportunity to share our own experiences with coming to understand mental illness and issues -- in SL, or in RL.

I think, from experience in RL, and in SL, it can be easier to develop empathy once you've seen the impact of mental illness on others. How others are treated, how others treat you, how they - or you - are treated as "the other", "less than", etc. It can be very hard to accept and embrace those perceived as different from ourselves. 

In my own case - and these aren't necessarily examples of "mental illness", but as just "different" people - it took many, many years to accept people who acted or appeared "different". Eventually, I came to realize that those people were no threat to me just because they were "different". That helped a lot! 

Examples now abound in my life - whether they were different intellectually, physically, in gender expression, psychologically..

I've been a caregiver for a disabled person (advanced paraplegia). I've dated people who others saw as intellectually "disabled". I've had best friends who were homeless. The list is long. But ultimately everybody is people. 

[Sammy Huntsman]

Not even gonna get into this whole thing. For that reason, I'm out. I mean if we are gonna have this person effectively derail the topic already. Let us look at gender dysphoria. I have it and it ain't fun waking up looking at yourself in the mirror and realizing that something ain't right. So you go through major anger, depression and anxiety issues. It's not that I am many other people are confused about our genitals between our legs. Which you so eloquently put. Its the fact that our brains look at ourselves and go well I don't feel like I was born in the right body. Okay sorry for the tirade, I am done here. 

[Love Zhaoying]

17 minutes ago, Paul Hexem said:

That's a pretty big derail.

The "Second Life No-Fault Teleport Home Insurance" policies don't cover it, but the Underwriters need to start writing insurance policies for "Whiplash, caused by severe derail or the immediate after-effects thereof"! 

[Love Zhaoying]

18 minutes ago, Arielle Popstar said:

Well I for one had no ability to empathize with those who were mentally ill until I acknowledged my own mental illnesses and the insanities they produced in my life. The coming to realize I was not entirely sane was a process of slowly realizing that most of the population is in a similar situation but that the degree and types of insanities may differ in each and may not even be seen by others as a mental illness. Recovery has been a 2 pronged path involving letting go or changing old behaviours which weren't working for me but even more importantly that I am not alone in having these self defeating behaviours and accepting them to the degree that I can laugh at them with the realization that I am just human and therefore prone to characteristics which are outside of the bell curve in some areas.

Well said! Guess I need to more often acknowledge my own issues. I'll just say, "Thank God for sobriety". Dealing with the world is hard enough without other issues that I can cause for myself with substance abuse, addictive behaviors, etc. 

[Arielle Popstar]

27 minutes ago, Coffee Pancake said:

Here we go again .. 

I don't believe it's possible to have these discussions on this forum as certain people will always derail the topics in ways that make any meaningful participation inherently unsafe, yet for some reason these tactics are entirely permissible.

Well from I have learned over the years is that dealing with what I considered to be irritating and or unsafe was exactly the thing I had to work on to progress to a state wherein it no longer bothered me. It was after all the exact areas where my insanities came to the forefront. Being triggered is an opportunity for growth and though somewhat uncomfortable while in the middle of it, led me to be thankful for the lesson afterwards.

[Coffee Pancake]

15 minutes ago, Arielle Popstar said:

Being triggered is an opportunity for growth and though somewhat uncomfortable while in the middle of it, led me to be thankful for the lesson afterwards.

Good for you, the bullies won.

[Codex Alpha]

1 minute ago, Coffee Pancake said:

Good for you, the bullies won.

No, she is correct. If we get defensive or angry  or uncomfortable about what someone else says about us, self-assessing our reaction to it is a valuable skill to have.

Psychiatrists will say If we are bothered by other people's words (Not physical damage), that there may be some truth to it, and if we look within, it is strong to admit that maybe they are right - and to make the relevant changes. If not, then we just discard their words and move on.

This is all part of maturing and gaining self-confidence.

[Arielle Popstar]

Just now, Coffee Pancake said:

Good for you, the bullies won.

Well no, I won because they no longer affected me. I can't change them, so the most expedient thing is to change me so I am not being triggered. Once I understood I cannot change others no matter how dire, a significant part of my insanities were resolved.

[Love Zhaoying]

1 minute ago, Codex Alpha said:

No, she is correct. If we get defensive or angry  or uncomfortable about what someone else says about us, self-assessing our reaction to it is a valuable skill to have.

Psychiatrists will say If we are bothered by other people's words (Not physical damage), that there may be some truth to it, and if we look within, it is strong to admit that maybe they are right - and to make the relevant changes. If not, then we just discard their words and move on.

This is all part of maturing and gaining self-confidence.

What do you mean?

[Coffee Pancake]

2 minutes ago, Arielle Popstar said:

Well no, I won because they no longer affected me. I can't change them, so the most expedient thing is to change me so I am not being triggered. Once I understood I cannot change others no matter how dire, a significant part of my insanities were resolved.

But ... What if you weren't insane, and everything since has been a lie to placate other people.

[Arielle Popstar]

Just now, Coffee Pancake said:

But ... What if you weren't insane, and everything since has been a lie to placate other people.

I would still be insane in thinking I can change others. One popular definition for insanity is trying the same thing over and over again expecting a different result. I did that for a long time trying to get others to behave and treat me right. I failed and hit a bottom of sorts having become obsessive and compulsive in attempting to change those who were not going to change.

[Love Zhaoying]

4 minutes ago, Arielle Popstar said:

I would still be insane in thinking I can change others. One popular definition for insanity is trying the same thing over and over again expecting a different result. I did that for a long time trying to get others to behave and treat me right. I failed and hit a bottom of sorts having become obsessive and compulsive in attempting to change those who were not going to change.

Do you feel this experience has made you more accepting, and more empathetic?

[Codex Alpha]

6 minutes ago, Arielle Popstar said:

I would still be insane in thinking I can change others. One popular definition for insanity is trying the same thing over and over again expecting a different result. I did that for a long time trying to get others to behave and treat me right. I failed and hit a bottom of sorts having become obsessive and compulsive in attempting to change those who were not going to change.

This is a bit iffy position, as we all go through our lives trying to convince others to our point of view. Sometimes it's successful. Hell some of us made a living out of it through sales - Sales is literally trying to change other people's mind, by making a convincing argument.

What you are referring to (which I'm guilty of as well at times) of trying to change people's minds who are not open to changing their minds, or engaging in honest conversation or debate - they will not change their minds because they won't. Sometimes we get suckered in because it's a 'well if I rephrase it this way or maybe say it differently", but I don't know if that's a bad trait. Being able to convince others  towards something that you believe will benefit them isn't 'crazy'.

It would just be crazy to engage with an individual that has no interest in learning or changing anything. Also as I may guess that you've had experience with some NPD types, not everyone is like that and to keep your head up and DONT lose your argumentative spirit. Hey I'm taking my own advice here and say we just gotta know when it's no point with some people in our lives is all. There can be some very good benefits from debating things with your friends and even if it can be frustrating at times, sometimes you get a few win points in and maybe even concede a few yourself with new information, and the interaction feels great.

Staying away from predatory, manipulative weirdo types is a pretty good idea though. I've had a few in my personal life that had to go, because they were stuck in some ideal or even a year haha and weren't going to 'grow' or  leave it and I had to let it go.

[Coffee Pancake]

9 minutes ago, Arielle Popstar said:

 I did that for a long time trying to get others to behave and treat me right. 

Yeah. That's just sad.

People should treat you right, not force you into learning to accept and agree with their abuse.

[Scylla Rhiadra]

1 minute ago, Codex Alpha said:

predatory, manipulative weirdo types

You were asking for an example of someone using a stigmatization of mental illness to dismiss those with whom they disagree?

[Robin Kiyori]

As someone with low empathy and really poor mentalth health, I've faced allot of stigma and issues offline and online.

people have dismissed my problems, I've had benefits unfairly taken away becaue I wasn't "sick enough" even when struggling to stay alive. People like me are called monsters because of our low or lack of empathy. Even when we have so much compassion and care.

 

Never mind that my headmates very person-hood is constantly put into question simply because the world can't wrap their head around the fact that plurality exists.

[Codex Alpha]

6 minutes ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

You were asking for an example of someone using a stigmatization of mental illness to dismiss those with whom they disagree?

Before I respond, I would point out that you take out 3 words out of an entire post that provides context and just respond to that instead?

How is describing a personality type of someone I and others would have encountered in our lives who are 'predatory, manipulative weirdo types" a stigmatization of mental illness? Where did I equate my experience with an individual(s) to people with mental illness ?

[kali Wylder]

I think empathy is great stuff.  I learned a long time ago though that my own supply of empathy is limited.  I would like to be able to feel empathy towards everyone all the time but if I try to do that then I wind up overloaded, burnt out, frazzled and useless.  So I protect myself.  I don't risk overexposure. 

I try to avoid toxicity.  I have a few things I try to keep in mind that help.  These things run through my mind before I post. 

An old friend of mine had a t shirt that I loved.  On the front it said, "A nuclear holocaust could ruin your day".  On the back it said, "If you let it".

He also used to say, "What do you do with a crazy person?" Answer: "Run away"

Then there's Thumper's father's advice.  "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all".

 

[Codex Alpha]

1 minute ago, Robin Kiyori said:

As someone with low empathy and really poor mentalth health, I've faced allot of stigma and issues offline and online.

people have dismissed my problems, I've had benefits unfairly taken away becaue I wasn't "sick enough" even when struggling to stay alive. People like me are called monsters because of our low or lack of empathy. Even when we have so much compassion and care.

 

Never mind that my headmates very person-hood is constantly put into question simply because the world can't wrap their head around the fact that plurality exists.

Compassion and care are the root of empathy though. empathy is about beign able to put ourselves in other people's shoes, to try to see their point of view, and to understand it. You don't have to agree with them, or enable them on something you don't want to.. That is empathy. And it's based on having compassion for others and care for others.