Do You Think People Only Make Friends to Sell Stuff?

[Prokofy Neva]

It used to be a big problem with the old Mentors system (and among the reasons it was disbanded -- primarily there was the fact that the system simply did not help to retain newbies, and proved to be a refuge for those helping as a form of vanity or sales promotion).

More than once I personally caught these Mentors who were allegedly out there to help newbies friending the newbies to chat them up and get them to come to stores, and slinging them a folder of landmarks all of their friends' stores.

I myself got Shanghaied to a store to spend my scarce stipend dollars when I was new (in those days there were no outfits in the library except a few really ridiculous ones).

I was fixing things up in the Moth Temple today and I heard this woman arrive and fly around the sim crying "Anyone want a cheap place to live?" and friending people.

I'm all for hustling for sales and for a free market. It seems the friendship card is really debased, however, when it becomes a means merely to try to make a sale, chat somebody up and teleport them to a store.

[Jorge Erin]

Hello,

Well, reading your words , I think you don't know really what is doing a group Mentor. Each group Mentor, and each member, the first thing they do it's to go on his land, where there are  a lot of freebies....It's one of first thing  you can to do with a new résident.

A Mentor group will be  at  VWBPE events like Greeters... they  sell what ?  a school ? ...

But i can understand, of course, your opinion, because you don't met  a truly Mentor, even if he was.

 

And agree there are many people who are on their minds "business is business"

 

NB: SL MENTOR (official) don't exist anymore but please read this :

http://wiki.secondlife.com/wiki/RHN

Enjoy your day...

 

:smileywink:HAVE FUN

 

 

 

[Anny Broek]

I only have good experiences with Mentors but not always with other ppl who want to 'help' you.

When i started in SL early 2007 often people were teleporting to crowded places and started to 'friend' everyone and gave them notecards with Landmarks to promote their business and stores. Sometimes i found it helpful because it was pretty hard to find nice freebie places and your start-inventory wasn't helping out with nice free clothes and other helpful things (like you mentioned).
But  when i was finding my own way here it annoyed me more and more when people made 'randomly friendships' like this.
In the communities i joined at that time it even was forbidden to promote your business this way because a lot of ppl complained about it.
Nowadays i am careful with taking friendship offers because i sometimes still got the feeling ppl are only offering friendship to promote their business and that is not my way to get friendships

[Dilbert Dilweg]

I think it all depends on the setting. I have seen the same thing where mentors only using their status to sell their items or place. But it even happens On Info hubs.

I landed at one the other day. This girls starts a small talk conversation with me and invites me as friend. Then she invited me to go to her strip club LOL .

And I get a lot of issues where someone comes into the club and invites everyone (friend request) without even talking to them. Their goal is to hit as many unsuspected newbie's or people and then teleport away. Then they all suddenly start getting teleport requests to see their product or new club. Or in some cases a pervert teleports everyone to a horrible scene

[Venus Petrov]

Not at all.  I think some people make friends to elevate their sense of self-importance and 'rank' within their tiny segment of 'society'.  These would be faux friends because the friender has no intention of ever voicing with them for fear of exposing their RL gender.

[Imnotgoing Sideways]

It takes all kinds, I say.  I recall facing people in SL Mentors who were leveraging the group title for a number of things.  Be it an artificial sense of authority while in infohubs and welcome areas to two particular cases... One being a guy who considered handing landmarks out to every newcomer to land in his BDSM RP club and store as "help"... Another being someone who pretty much used the role to make it look like attending her L$500 per lesson "school" a Linden Lab endorsed function. (>_<)

At the same time, I found some very genuine helpers.  Scripters who are still operating today making free resources to help people expand their abilities in SL.  People I still see at the infohubs giving out free advice.  Unselfish volunteers, all the way. ()

If anything,  SL seems to have this default state for anyone who wants to multitask that leads to an immediate conflict of interests.  It's up to each person's scrouples to determine how that'll affect the reputation of their volunteering and of their business.  ()

As for friends...  I'm a bit confused.  I'd consider a mentor/helper relationship different from a friendship.  I can't imagine trying to sell anything to a friend.  Give out freebies, yes... But anything that requires a money transaction doesn't feel like a friendship at all.  But, that's just me.  It takes all kinds.  Maybe there are people with no desire to socialize and simply network for the sake of profit. (>_<)

 

 

[DQ Darwin]

That's a rather interesting question. But I don't real understand what it's purpose is. I have personally never seen a reference to  the "old Mentoring system" in a negative light , except for this. I would be interested in where the statistics of the reasons it was banded are available.

---

Prokofy Neva wrote:

It used to be a big problem with the old Mentors system (and among the reasons it was disbanded -- primarily there was the fact that the system simply did not help to retain newbies, and proved to be a refuge for those helping as a form of vanity or sales promotion).

---

This particular comment seems to read a personal attachment in the post, which basically says you got sucked in and are still bitter??? It is true that people arriving new in SL are pretty bewildered on day one but when it comes to spending money SL or RL we don't tend to leave our common sense in RL.

I see nothing wrong with lists being presented, I mean when a sales flyer comes to your front door in RL do you run out and buy. You may look at it but somewhere in the process the brain kicks in.

---

Prokofy Neva wrote:

More than once I personally caught these Mentors who were allegedly out there to help newbies friending the newbies to chat them up and get them to come to stores, and slinging them a folder of landmarks all of their friends' stores.

I myself got Shanghaied to a store to spend my scarce stipend dollars when I was new (in those days there were no outfits in the library except a few really ridiculous ones).

---

I was working in RL in the backyard on day and the icecream truck came by with the bell chiming away. You just know I dropped everything and ran to buy one?? I guess some people on the street would have loved to find a "mute" button, but they are the old cantankerous fuddies anyway. The noise passes.

Now as far as "friending people" goes this I find pretty amazing.  I do believe that friending people is a two way street. Some one offers and some one accepts or denies. That's pretty simple and if you screw up and accept by mistake the function to remove the friendship is pretty easy. So is it more a self inflected wound? When a sales person comes to your front door in RL do you invite them in for supper?

I do see a need here for the application of common sense which should come to SL with you from RL.

I know of people that have over 2000 others that they follow in twitter are they that lonely, do they call those they follow friends. I have never been interested in 2000 people in my life or what they have to say.

If the friendship card is "debased" it's news to me how can you debase what you accept? We live and learn in both worlds and hopefully common sense is applied.

As far as hustling goes would advertising your place of business in the signature line and making lots of posts be hustling?

I have never used any of the tactics described in this post and never will but the fact that this OP is directed towards past or present mentors as the problem, something completely without foundation or proof,  is an attempt to validate the problem that only the OP see's.

Buyer beware. Noob beware. Common Sense prevails.

---

Prokofy Neva wrote:

I was fixing things up in the Moth Temple today and I heard this woman arrive and fly around the sim crying "Anyone want a cheap place to live?" and friending people.

I'm all for hustling for sales and for a free market. It seems the friendship card is really debased, however, when it becomes a means merely to try to make a sale, chat somebody up and teleport them to a store.

---

Thats my two cents

 

[Suspiria Finucane]

 

---

DQ Darwin wrote:

That's a rather interesting question. But I don't real understand what it's purpose is. I have personally never seen a reference to  the "

old Mentoring system

" in a negative light , except for this. I would be interested in where the statistics of the reasons it was banded are available.

---

Prokofy Neva wrote:

It used to be a big problem with the old Mentors system (and among the reasons it was disbanded -- primarily there was the fact that the system simply did not help to retain newbies, and proved to be a refuge for those helping as a form of vanity or sales promotion).

---

This particular comment seems to read a personal attachment in the post, which basically says you got sucked in and are still bitter??? It is true that people arriving new in SL are pretty bewildered on day one but when it comes to spending money SL or RL we don't tend to leave our common sense in RL.

I see nothing wrong with lists being presented, I mean when a sales flyer comes to your front door in RL do you run out and buy. You may look at it but somewhere in the process the brain kicks in.

---

Prokofy Neva wrote:

More than once I personally caught these Mentors who were allegedly out there to help newbies friending the newbies to chat them up and get them to come to stores, and slinging them a folder of landmarks all of their friends' stores.

I myself got Shanghaied to a store to spend my scarce stipend dollars when I was new (in those days there were no outfits in the library except a few really ridiculous ones).

---

I was working in RL in the backyard on day and the icecream truck came by with the bell chiming away. You just know I dropped everything and ran to buy one?? I guess some people on the street would have loved to find a "mute" button, but they are the old cantankerous fuddies anyway. The noise passes.

Now as far as "friending people" goes this I find pretty amazing.  I do believe that friending people is a two way street. Some one offers and some one accepts or denies. That's pretty simple and if you screw up and accept by mistake the function to remove the friendship is pretty easy. So is it more a self inflected wound? When a sales person comes to your front door in RL do you invite them in for supper?

I do see a need here for the application of common sense which should come to SL with you from RL.

I know of people that have over 2000 others that they follow in twitter are they that lonely, do they call those they follow friends. I have never been interested in 2000 people in my life or what they have to say.

If the friendship card is "debased" it's news to me how can you debase what you accept? We live and learn in both worlds and hopefully common sense is applied.

As far as hustling goes would advertising your place of business in the signature line and making lots of posts be hustling?

I have never used any of the tactics described in this post and never will but the fact that this OP is directed towards past or present mentors as the problem, something completely without foundation or proof,  is an attempt to validate the problem that only the OP see's.

Buyer beware. Noob beware. Common Sense prevails.

---

Prokofy Neva wrote:

I was fixing things up in the Moth Temple today and I heard this woman arrive and fly around the sim crying "Anyone want a cheap place to live?" and friending people.

I'm all for hustling for sales and for a free market. It seems the friendship card is really debased, however, when it becomes a means merely to try to make a sale, chat somebody up and teleport them to a store.

---

Thats my two cents

 

---

Great post Dee :smileyhappy:

 

@OP I'm sure some people may make friends only to sell stuff but I doubt very seriously it is anywhere close to a majority.

PS ZOMG I love that bus!

 

 

[Prokofy Neva]

The Mentors were disbanded. That's evidence enough.

Um, no, dear. I wouldn't be complaining about one week when I was a newbie when I got hijacked to stores. Not after six years, um, no.

But it's witnessing that happen to *hundreds of other people* that didn't make me "bitter" but made me -- and others who witnessed this -- indignant. They were caught at it again and again.

In fact, one of the funny things the Lindens did to try to curb this problem was to promise anyone who helped as a Mentor on the Help Island that they could have their freebies featured in a store, and they also began to feature Mentor prefabs, furniture etc in a showcase on that island. It was hilarious to see them favour people that way as a sort of "incentive" but also as a bribe to get them to stop hawking in the infohubs. It didn't work lol. They always wanted *more*.

I could list numerous cases of Mentors that were disciplined, and some permanently banned finally for their antics.

They lorded it over other residents, it was a system that was heavily abused.

Those in it who reined supreme with it will discount this; so will people who simply don't like me for whatever reason; so will those who are in similar groups today. I don't care. The proof is this: the Lindens disbanded it. End of story.

[Wildcat Furse]

 

---

Prokofy Neva wrote:

It used to be a big problem with the old Mentors system (and among the reasons it was disbanded -- primarily there was the fact that the system simply did not help to retain newbies, and proved to be a refuge for those helping as a form of vanity or sales promotion).

More than once I personally caught these Mentors who were allegedly out there to help newbies friending the newbies to chat them up and get them to come to stores, and slinging them a folder of landmarks all of their friends' stores.

I myself got Shanghaied to a store to spend my scarce stipend dollars when I was new (in those days there were no outfits in the library except a few really ridiculous ones).

I was fixing things up in the Moth Temple today and I heard this woman arrive and fly around the sim crying "Anyone want a cheap place to live?" and friending people.

I'm all for hustling for sales and for a free market. It seems the friendship card is really debased, however, when it becomes a means merely to try to make a sale, chat somebody up and teleport them to a store.

---

I think this is still an on-going issue on the info hubs, not only done by volunteer mentors but by shopowners themselves .... ofcourse who am I not to agree on this, entrepreneurship should be awarded not demotivated ... business is business after all *meows*

 

[DQ Darwin]

Oh, I do fail to see how this has anything to do with Make Friends in a positive sense, but what the heck. It to me would be best placed in OT but that's my opinion. Any way since you have decided to reply to my point. Let me say, yes the program was disbanded, the question I had was is it because of what you state or not, just proof was all I asked for and still none is there. So it is not a valid statement.

---

Prokofy Neva wrote:

The Mentors were disbanded. That's evidence enough.

---

EDITED

: I have removed part of my original post because it was not indicative of my true nature and also because I can.

 

 

 

 

[Monica Querrien]

It's hard to answer this, because when I first read the topic I thought it would be a general discussion...when in fact it seems targeted to a specfic group of people.

I feel in SL everyone is looking to network with people..be it for something long term or instant gratification. When I first started SL some people that brought me here gave me a folder of their favorite landmarks...and I was taken to a freebie mall by someone to help me get a better skin (and she also gave me landmarks).

Even if the person's intent was to promote their business., it can still benefit you. No one can make you buy anything that you don't want to, so even if people were to take you to a store (their store) to purchase something...you can always choose to walk away. So if a new person wanted a place to live, maybe the woman would be right up their alley, if the price was right.

[Finora Kuncoro]

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Prokofy Neva wrote:

It used to be a big problem with the old Mentors system (and among the reasons it was disbanded -- primarily there was the fact that the system simply did not help to retain newbies, and proved to be a refuge for those helping as a form of vanity or sales promotion).

More than once I personally caught these Mentors who were allegedly out there to help newbies friending the newbies to chat them up and get them to come to stores, and slinging them a folder of landmarks all of their friends' stores.

---

I was an SL Mentor, and I don't recall seeing much of the behaviour you describe.  Among all the Mentors I knew, we would just share freebies so that we had the best selection to give to new people.  As for the landmarks, absolutely none were for friends stores (I think most were for newby friendly places giving free stuff or simply interesting places).  I was never asked by anyone to include the landmark for their store either.

Personally I always gave things I had made (and were for sale in a store), free to newbies.  Being allowed to be a Mentor was a wonderful gift and to use it to do something as tacky as sell stuff, seems frankly very low class. 

I'd also note that friending newbies was the exception (and only if they asked so that they could contact me later if they had questions).  I was there to help them find their way not to overflow my friends list.

   

[DQ Darwin]

Finora: Odd you should say that I mean Prok said it was a big problem so that must be true, right.

I'm still awaiting proof that this big problem was one of the reasons the Mentors system was disbanded. To date just silence.

I wonder if this only existed in someones mind rather than anywhere else.

[Lanas Criss]

I was making friends and getting lots of help for a couple years before I ever ‘sold’ anything, and I’ve paid all the love back by being a helpful friend now.  Having nice friends helps you sell nice things because of their suggestions, criticism, and word of mouth.  But just capturing ‘friends’ to help you make sales seems like a horribly slow and poor way to sell… maybe I’m naïve.  I’d think if your goal was to shnucker people into buying things it would be best to get them to join a group rather than just being your friend so you could poke them mercilessly with sales and bargains until you had all their L$s.  Hmmm… maybe groups are the problem not fast made friends? (I’m being silly… sorry)

[Rhonda Huntress]

I only make stuff to give to friends.

/me shrugs.