Who Am I? Or Who Should I Be?

[LaskyaClaren]

Hi all.

I have suffered a calamitous system failure, and my hard drive seems to have irrecoverably died. As I opened my eyes this morning, all I could see was the Blue Screen of Death.

As the result of this sudden onset of digital amnesia, I no longer know who I am!!!!!!

As I don't flatter myself that anyone else will remember who I am either, I'm looking for suggestions.

Who should I be?????

 

 

Please help.

Thank you in advance for your assistance in this matter.

[LaskyaClaren]

*bleep*

*bleep*

*bleep*

*bleep*

(That's the sound that my empty hard drive is making while I wait. There's also this really sweet little red light that blinks on and off at random times.)

[LaskyaClaren]

Geez, look. This isn't that difficult.

I googled "Second Life," and it said something like "Second Life is your Life Your Imagination" or something.

But the imagination is built on memory! (I think John Locke or someone said that.) If I can't remember what a horn or a horse is (and believe me, I can't), how can I possibly imagine a unicorn? Right?

So I need some memories so that I can imagine myself.

 

C'mon people, how hard can it be??? Don't you all have a few to spare?

[LaskyaClaren]

On the positive side, I think maybe that I'm beginning to remember that I am a bit querulous and impatient.

And maybe a bit of an attention whore?

[Theresa Tennyson]

---

LaskyaClaren wrote:

On the positive side, I think maybe that I'm beginning to remember that I am a bit querulous and impatient.

 

And maybe a bit of an attention whore?

---

And concerned with keeping yourself unknown, if I remember correctly.

[LaskyaClaren]

Now we're getting somewhere!

It seems to have worked.

[Phil Deakins]

I can help you. You're the person who I loaned L$100k to earlier this week, with the promise that you would pay it back before this weekend is over.

I hope that helps, and I look forward to receiving your repayment.

[LaskyaClaren]

---

Phil Deakins wrote:

I can help you. You're the person who I loaned L$100k to earlier this week, with the promise that you would pay it back before this weekend is over.

I hope that helps, and I look forward to receiving your repayment.

---

Hmmm. Um, yes. But, according to Locke,

 

 

o

ne is justifiably held accountable only for those actions performed by a self to whom one's present consciousness extends, that is, it is only for those actions I remember performing that I can justifiably be held morally responsible. As Locke puts it, if I am punished for the actions of a self whose thoughts and experiences I do not remember, “what difference is there between that punishment, and being created miserable?” (Locke 1694, 51) Thus, on the Day of Judgment, “The sentence shall be justified by the consciousness all persons shall have, that they themselves, in what bodies soever they appear, or what substances soever that consciousness adheres to, are the same that committed those actions, and deserve that punishment for them” (Ibid.). (

Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy

)

So, yeah. No, I mean.

(Maybe I am really John Locke?)

[Griffin Ceawlin]

"Today you are you, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is you-er than you."

[LaskyaClaren]

---

Griffin Ceawlin wrote:

"Today you are you, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is you-er than you."

---

OMG that is so sweet! Thank you! :-)

 

Maybe I am a sentimentalist? Or an early reader?

(Or just endearingly simple minded . . .)

[Griffin Ceawlin]

“You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You're on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who'll decide where to go...”

[LaskyaClaren]

---

Griffin Ceawlin wrote:

“You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You're on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who'll decide where to go...”

---

. . . and becoming more simple minded with each post that I read.

I am becoming concerned that "me" is someone who might actually have bought into this sort of life-affirming, self-realizing . . . stuff. It's a disturbing thought.

[Perrie Juran]

---

LaskyaClaren wrote:

Hi all.

 

I have suffered a calamitous system failure, and my hard drive seems to have irrecoverably died. As I opened my eyes this morning, all I could see was the Blue Screen of Death.

As the result of this sudden onset of digital amnesia, I no longer know who I am!!!!!!

As I don't flatter myself that anyone else will remember who I am either, I'm looking for suggestions.

Who should I be?????

 

 

Please help.

Thank you in advance for your assistance in this matter.

---

Have you forgotten me also?

All the days and hours we spent together?  All the time we spent whisperring sweet nothings in each other's ears? 

All of our plans for the future?  How we were going to be married on Mars and then run off to explore the Universe together? 

Our plans for having children and raising them together?

The life we were going to build together?

Have you forgotten all of this also?

                  

[LaskyaClaren]

---

Perrie Juran wrote:

---

LaskyaClaren wrote:

Hi all.

 

I have suffered a calamitous system failure, and my hard drive seems to have irrecoverably died. As I opened my eyes this morning, all I could see was the Blue Screen of Death.

As the result of this sudden onset of digital amnesia, I no longer know who I am!!!!!!

As I don't flatter myself that anyone else will remember who I am either, I'm looking for suggestions.

Who should I be?????

 

 

Please help.

Thank you in advance for your assistance in this matter.

---

Have you forgotten me also?

All the days and hours we spent together?  All the time we spent whisperring sweet nothings in each other's ears? 

All of our plans for the future?  How we were going to be married on Mars and then run off to explore the Universe together? 

Our plans for having children and raising them together?

The life we were going to build together?

Have you forgotten all of this also?

  

  

  

  

 

  

 

---

Oh, goodness! Of course not, um . . . Perrie.

And the way we, uh . . . held hands (you have hands, right?) while . . . walking? flying? . . . through Alpha Centauri.

Or was it through Bob's Nawlins Crawdads Emporium?

After we've known each other SO well for . . . well, gosh, how long has it been? A pretty long time, I'm sure!

 

 

You don't have any, you know, promises from me in writing, do you? You don't, right?

[Perrie Juran]

 

---

LaskyaClaren wrote:

---

Perrie Juran wrote:

---

LaskyaClaren wrote:

Hi all.

I have suffered a calamitous system failure, and my hard drive seems to have irrecoverably died. As I opened my eyes this morning, all I could see was the Blue Screen of Death.

As the result of this sudden onset of digital amnesia, I no longer know who I am!!!!!!

As I don't flatter myself that anyone else will remember who I am either, I'm looking for suggestions.

Who should I be?????

 

 

Please help.

Thank you in advance for your assistance in this matter.

---

Have you forgotten me also?

All the days and hours we spent together?  All the time we spent whisperring sweet nothings in each other's ears? 

All of our plans for the future?  How we were going to be married on Mars and then run off to explore the Universe together? 

Our plans for having children and raising them together?

The life we were going to build together?

Have you forgotten all of this also?

  

  

  

  

 

  

 

---

Oh, goodness! Of course not, um . . . Perrie.

And the way we, uh . . . held hands (you 

have

hands, right?) while . . . walking? flying? . . . through Alpha Centauri.

Or was it through Bob's Nawlins Crawdads Emporium?

After we've known each other SO well for . . . well, gosh, how long has it been? A pretty long time, I'm sure!

 

 

You don't have any, you know, promises from me in 

writing

, do you? You don't, right?

---

The night we were going to go take care of our pre-nuptials some fool at LL decided to do an unscheduled maintenance and logged us out.  We are supposed to be meeting with your Attorney again next week.  I think her name is Maddy but I'm not sure. 

I might still have chat logs though if you'd trust them. 

I think I saved them when I did my last clean install.

I will need to search.

And it was the Hand of God we were exploring that night.

We were seeking her blessing.

 

                  

[LaskyaClaren]

---

Perrie Juran wrote:

 

---

LaskyaClaren wrote:

---

Perrie Juran wrote:

---

LaskyaClaren wrote:

Hi all.

 

I have suffered a calamitous system failure, and my hard drive seems to have irrecoverably died. As I opened my eyes this morning, all I could see was the Blue Screen of Death.

As the result of this sudden onset of digital amnesia, I no longer know who I am!!!!!!

As I don't flatter myself that anyone else will remember who I am either, I'm looking for suggestions.

Who should I be?????

 

 

Please help.

Thank you in advance for your assistance in this matter.

---

Have you forgotten me also?

All the days and hours we spent together?  All the time we spent whisperring sweet nothings in each other's ears? 

All of our plans for the future?  How we were going to be married on Mars and then run off to explore the Universe together? 

Our plans for having children and raising them together?

The life we were going to build together?

Have you forgotten all of this also?

  

  

  

  

 

  

 

---

Oh, goodness! Of course not, um . . . Perrie.

And the way we, uh . . . held hands (you 

have

hands, right?) while . . . walking? flying? . . . through Alpha Centauri.

Or was it through Bob's Nawlins Crawdads Emporium?

After we've known each other SO well for . . . well, gosh, how long has it been? A pretty long time, I'm sure!

 

 

You don't have any, you know, promises from me in 

writing

, do you? You don't, right?

---

The night we were going to go take care of our pre-nuptials some fool at LL decided to do an unscheduled maintenance and logged us out.  We are supposed to be meeting with your Attorney again next week.  I think her name is Maddy but I'm not sure. 

I might still have chat logs though if you'd trust them. 

I think I saved them when I did my last clean install.

I will need to search.

And it was the Hand of God we were exploring that night.

We were seeking her blessing.

 

    

   

    

    

---

Oh, what a lovely picture of that space thingy. It's very pretty.

Gosh, that all sounds just wonderful. I mean really very nice.

Thing is . . . I just got this IM in-world from this bisexual furry skunk dude who says we were once married so, yeah, I don't think I can do that now.

Also, I really have to wash my hair.

But thanks! Some other time, maybe?

[Kenbro Utu]

On casual observation of your background image on your forum badge, I would say you have trouble focusing. 

[Dillon Levenque]

---

Kenbro Utu wrote:

On casual observation of your background image on your forum badge, I would say you have trouble focusing. 

---

 

Thank you for pointing that out. All this time I thought it was me who was having trouble focusing on that badge. Now I see it could be Laskya's issue. Things like this are so much easier to deal with when it's someone else's fault.

[LaskyaClaren]

---

Kenbro Utu wrote:

On casual observation of your background image on your forum badge, I would say you have trouble focusing. 

---

I think that may be a little unfair. I mean, I don't yet really know who I am, or what I'm like, but I do think that I am capable of very intense focus, even when multitasking.

For instance, last night I made what was really a pretty complicated dinner, without mishap, despite the fact that it necessitated a multiple focus on many moving parts. Without focus, it would have been a disaster: it included brussel sprouts, and rice, and a really nice new recipe I tried with a coriander-cumin rub that worked surprisingly well. Of course, the nice thing about using a rub, rather than a marinade -- well, the TWO nice things, really -- is that it is lower in calories than a standard marinade because there is no oil involved, AND it takes much less time, because you don't have to do it hours in advance. I mean, seriously, who can just say, in the middle of their work day, "Oh, I have to pop off now and prepare a marinade, because it has to be prepared exactly 6 hours in advance of cooking." Well, no one, really. No one with a really active life, anyway, and I think that includes stay-at-home people, whatever their gender or the nature of their work at home, because doing anything around the house, or even working from a home office, requires stretches of time, and you can't just wonder off in the middle of doing something important to do something else . . .

Sorry. What were you saying again?

[LaskyaClaren]

---

Dillon Levenque wrote:

---

Kenbro Utu wrote:

On casual observation of your background image on your forum badge, I would say you have trouble focusing. 

---

 

Thank you for pointing that out. All this time I thought it was

me

who was having trouble focusing on that badge. Now I see it could be Laskya's issue. Things like this are so much easier to deal with when it's someone else's fault.

---

Seriously, Dillon (if that is your real name!)?

My badge looks pretty sharply focused to me! Maybe you do need glasses?

[Perrie Juran]

---

LaskyaClaren wrote:

---

Perrie Juran wrote:

 

---

LaskyaClaren wrote:

---

Perrie Juran wrote:

---

LaskyaClaren wrote:

Hi all.

 

I have suffered a calamitous system failure, and my hard drive seems to have irrecoverably died. As I opened my eyes this morning, all I could see was the Blue Screen of Death.

As the result of this sudden onset of digital amnesia, I no longer know who I am!!!!!!

As I don't flatter myself that anyone else will remember who I am either, I'm looking for suggestions.

Who should I be?????

 

 

Please help.

Thank you in advance for your assistance in this matter.

---

Have you forgotten me also?

All the days and hours we spent together?  All the time we spent whisperring sweet nothings in each other's ears? 

All of our plans for the future?  How we were going to be married on Mars and then run off to explore the Universe together? 

Our plans for having children and raising them together?

The life we were going to build together?

Have you forgotten all of this also?

  

  

  

  

 

  

 

---

Oh, goodness! Of course not, um . . . Perrie.

And the way we, uh . . . held hands (you 

have

hands, right?) while . . . walking? flying? . . . through Alpha Centauri.

Or was it through Bob's Nawlins Crawdads Emporium?

After we've known each other SO well for . . . well, gosh, how long has it been? A pretty long time, I'm sure!

 

 

You don't have any, you know, promises from me in 

writing

, do you? You don't, right?

---

The night we were going to go take care of our pre-nuptials some fool at LL decided to do an unscheduled maintenance and logged us out.  We are supposed to be meeting with your Attorney again next week.  I think her name is Maddy but I'm not sure. 

I might still have chat logs though if you'd trust them. 

I think I saved them when I did my last clean install.

I will need to search.

And it was the Hand of God we were exploring that night.

We were seeking her blessing.

 

    

   

    

    

---

Oh, what a lovely picture of that space thingy. It's very pretty.

Gosh, that all sounds just wonderful. I mean 

really

very nice.

Thing is . . . I just got this IM in-world from this bisexual furry skunk dude who says we were once married so, yeah, I don't think I can do that now.

Also, I 

really

have to wash my hair.

But thanks! Some other time, maybe?

---

OMG! 

You were you were two timing the whole time we were together?

Are you really sure you were married to this SKUNK!?!?!

Make them show you the Marriage License.

[Canoro Philipp]

you are your desires, follow them and you will build yourself, and as time goes on, you will have a clearer picture of who you are. don't feel bad for not knowing everything about you, just enjoy life and everything will come into place, the opportunities you will take will be chosen by the personality your history will make, and with time you are going to be able to establish who you are perfectly.

[Madelaine McMasters]

It's a curious thing to ask others who you should be. Let's wonder for a moment if this is an aspect of your character that survived your amnesia. Was the original you a construction designed to please others?

I'd think long and hard before trying that again. You've been given a rare opportunity to create yourself anew. Rather than submit to design by committee, look within for a glowing ember you can fan.

 

 

But don't do that until I can create an alt named ember.

[LaskyaClaren]

---

Canoro Philipp wrote:

you are your desires, follow them and you will build yourself, and as time goes on, you will have a clearer picture of who you are. don't feel bad for not knowing everything about you, just enjoy life and everything will come into place, the opportunities you will take will be chosen by the personality your history will make, and with time you are going to be able to establish who you are perfectly.

---

Canoro, in general, I think you say much that is wise here. That wisdom comes from a good and empathetic heart, which makes it all the more valuable. Thank you.

I love the idea of building my own story, and my own identity. The thing is . . . I don't really "trust" my desires. I don't always know where they come from, and I am suspicious of where they will take me. But that fear and suspicion is also "naturally" who I am -- denying them is denying an important part of who I am -- or think I am.

[LaskyaClaren]

---

Madelaine McMasters wrote:

It's a curious thing to ask others who you should be. Let's wonder for a moment if this is an aspect of your character that survived your amnesia. Was the original you a construction designed to please others?

I'd think long and hard before trying that again. You've been given a rare opportunity to create yourself anew. Rather than submit to design by committee, look within for a glowing ember you can fan.

 

 

But don't do that until I can create an alt named ember.

---

Maybe I over-think it.

I am always very aware of how I present in these sorts of contexts, particularly online. Perhaps too much so, although self-awareness and self-critique is not a bad thing, I guess. But none of us here is really "authentic," in part because there is no single authentic self for me to discover, and in part because the medium also shapes us.

And also the community within which we find ourselves. To some degree, what I "am" here is a function of how I am "read" (because here I am, mostly, text, right?). That was one of the most interesting things about reappearing here with a new avatar -- on the one hand, it didn't take people too long to suss out my former identity -- and it took even less time to feel that I'd been forced into assuming, again, that particular articulation of myself. Or maybe that would've happened again anyway?