Part II Great film dialog

[Storm Clarence]

This OP is for posting some favorite film dialog.  The more than one-liner post...

Play if you want to. I'll start :)

 

 

 

King Arthur: Old woman.

Dennis: Man.

King Arthur: Man, sorry. What knight lives in that castle over there?

Dennis: I'm 37.

King Arthur: What?

Dennis: I'm 37. I'm not old.

King Arthur: Well I can't just call you "man".

Dennis: Well you could say "Dennis".

 King Arthur: I didn't know you were called Dennis.

Dennis: Well you didn't bother to find out did you?

King Arthur: I did say sorry about the "old woman", but from behind you looked...

Dennis: What I object to is you automatically treat me like an inferior.

King Arthur: I am king.

Dennis: Oh, king eh? Very nice. And how'd you get that, eh? By exploiting the workers. By hanging on to outdated imperialist dogma which perpetuates the economic and social differences in our society.

 

Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)

 

[Storm Clarence]

This OP is for posting some favorite film dialog.  The more than one-liner post...

Play if you want to. I'll start :)

 

 

 

King Arthur: Old woman.

Dennis: Man.

King Arthur: Man, sorry. What knight lives in that castle over there?

Dennis: I'm 37.

King Arthur: What?

Dennis: I'm 37. I'm not old.

King Arthur: Well I can't just call you "man".

Dennis: Well you could say "Dennis".

 King Arthur: I didn't know you were called Dennis.

Dennis: Well you didn't bother to find out did you?

King Arthur: I did say sorry about the "old woman", but from behind you looked...

Dennis: What I object to is you automatically treat me like an inferior.

King Arthur: I am king.

Dennis: Oh, king eh? Very nice. And how'd you get that, eh? By exploiting the workers. By hanging on to outdated imperialist dogma which perpetuates the economic and social differences in our society.

 

Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)

 

[PeterCanessa Oh]

Blackadder: I seek information about a Wise Woman.
Young Crone: Ah, the Wise Woman... the Wise Woman.
Blackadder: Yes, the Wise Woman.
Young Crone: Two things, my lord, must ye know of the Wise Woman. First, she is... a woman. And second, she is...
Blackadder: Wise?
Young Crone: You do know her then?
Blackadder: No, just a wild stab in the dark which is, incidentally, what you'll be getting if you don't start being a bit more helpful. Do you know where she lives?
Young Crone: Of course.
Blackadder: Where?
Young Crone: Here. Do you have an appointment?
Blackadder: No.
Young Crone: Well, you can go in anyway.
Blackadder: Thank you young crone. Here is a purse of moneys... which I'm not going to give to you.

 

[Vania Chaplin]

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: [to Igor] Now that brain that you gave me. Was it Hans Delbruck's?

Igor: [pause, then] No.

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Ah! Very good. Would you mind telling me whose brain I DID put in?

Igor: Then you won't be angry?

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: I will NOT be angry.

Igor: Abby someone.

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: [pause, then] Abby someone. Abby who?

Igor: Abby... Normal.

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: [pause, then] Abby Normal?

Igor: I'm almost sure that was the name.

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: [chuckles, then] Are you saying that I put an abnormal brain into a seven and a half foot long, fifty-four inch wide GORILLA?

[grabs Igor and starts throttling him]

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Is that what you're telling me?

(Young Frankenstein)

[KarenMichelle Lane]

Man in Black: All right. Where is the poison? The battle of wits has begun. It ends when you decide and we both drink, and find out who is right... and who is dead.

Vizzini: But it's so simple. All I have to do is divine from what I know of you: are you the sort of man who would put the poison into his own goblet or his enemy's? Now, a clever man would put the poison into his own goblet, because he would know that only a great fool would reach for what he was given. I am not a great fool, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But you must have known I was not a great fool, you would have counted on it, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.

Man in Black: You've made your decision then?

Vizzini: Not remotely. Because iocane comes from Australia, as everyone knows, and Australia is entirely peopled with criminals, and criminals are used to having people not trust them, as you are not trusted by me, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you.

Man in Black: Truly, you have a dizzying intellect.

Vizzini: Wait till I get going! Now, where was I?

Man in Black: Australia.

Vizzini: Yes, Australia. And you must have suspected I would have known the powder's origin, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.

Man in Black: You're just stalling now.

Vizzini: You'd like to think that, wouldn't you? You've beaten my giant, which means you're exceptionally strong, so you could've put the poison in your own goblet, trusting on your strength to save you, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But, you've also bested my Spaniard, which means you must have studied, and in studying you must have learned that man is mortal, so you would have put the poison as far from yourself as possible, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.

Man in Black: You're trying to trick me into giving away something. It won't work.

Vizzini: IT HAS WORKED! YOU'VE GIVEN EVERYTHING AWAY! I KNOW WHERE THE POISON IS!

Man in Black: Then make your choice.

Vizzini: I will, and I choose - What in the world can that be?

Man in Black: [Vizzini gestures up and away from the table. Roberts looks. Vizzini swaps the goblets]

Man in Black: What? Where? I don't see anything.

Vizzini: Well, I- I could have sworn I saw something. No matter. First, let's drink. Me from my glass, and you from yours.

Man in Black: Vizzini:  [Vizzini and the Man in Black drink]

Man in Black: You guessed wrong.

Vizzini: You only think I guessed wrong! That's what's so funny! I switched glasses when your back was turned! Ha ha! You fool! You fell victim to one of the classic blunders - The most famous of which is "never get involved in a land war in Asia" - but only slightly less well-known is this: "Never go against a Sicilian when death is on the line"! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha...

Vizzini: : [Vizzini stops suddenly, his smile frozen on his face and falls to the ground dead]

Buttercup: And to think, all that time it was your cup that was poisoned.

Man in Black: They were both poisoned. I spent the last few years building up an immunity to iocane powder.

[Dillon Levenque]

I seldom respond to Storm's threads, because I think he's an egocentric buffoon and because he's made a point of chasing me around both here and on the Feed (obsess much?).

I found this topic compelling, but I'll not go with a script. I'll shortcut and just drop the video. For the record, I selected this scene because of the attitude displayed in one short line: "Captain Hilts, actually".

If you've not seen this movie, add it to your list. It's old, but it contains some great moments and some great performances.

 

[Aethelwine]

Storm your quote stopped short, 

This is the full quote:

 

Man:	Man!Arthur: Man, sorry....	What knight lives in that castle over there?Man:	I'm thirty-seven!Arthur: (suprised) What?Man:	I'm thirty-seven!  I'm not old--Arthur: Well I can't just call you "man"...Man:	Well you could say "Dennis"--Arthur: I didn't know you were called Dennis!Man:	Well, you didn't bother to find out, did you?!Arthur: I did say sorry about the "old woman", but from behind, you looked--Man:	Well I object to your...you automatically treat me like an inferior!Arthur: Well I *am* king...Man:	Oh, king, eh, very nice.  And 'ow'd you get that, eh?	(he reaches his destination and stops, dropping the cart)	By exploiting the workers!  By 'angin' on to outdated imperialist dogma	which perpetuates the economic and social differences in our society.	If there's ever going to be any progress,--Woman:	Dennis!  There's some lovely filth down 'ere!	(noticing Arthur) Oh!  'Ow'd'ja do?Arthur: How do you do, good lady.  I am Arthur, king of the Britons.  Whose	castle is that?Woman:	King of the 'oo?Arthur: King of the Britons.Woman:	'Oo are the Britons?Arthur: Well we all are!  We are all Britons!  And I am your king.Woman:	I didn't know we 'ad a king!  I thought we were autonomous collective.Man:	(mad)  You're fooling yourself!  We're living in a dictatorship!  A	self-perpetuating autocracy in which the working classes--Woman:	There you go, bringing class into it again...Man:	That's what it's all about!  If only people would--Arthur: Please, *please*, good people, I am in haste!  WHO lives in that	castle?Woman:	No one lives there.Arthur: Then who is your lord?Woman:	We don't have a lord!Arthur: (spurised) What??Man:	I *told* you!  We're an anarcho-syndicalist commune!  We're taking	turns to act as a sort of executive-officer-for-the-week--Arthur: (uninterested) Yes...Man:	But all the decisions *of* that officer 'ave to be ratified at a	special bi-weekly meeting--Arthur: (perturbed) Yes I see!Man:	By a simple majority, in the case of purely internal affairs--Arthur: (mad) Be quiet!Man:	But by a two-thirds majority, in the case of more major--Arthur: (very angry) BE QUIET!	I *order* you to be quiet!Woman:	"Order", eh, 'oo does 'e think 'e is?Arthur: I am your king!Woman:	Well I didn't vote for you!Arthur: You don't vote for kings!Woman:	Well 'ow'd you become king then?(holy music up)Arthur: The Lady of the Lake-- her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite,	held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by	divine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur.  THAT is why	I am your king!Man:	(laughingly) Listen: Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords	is no basis for a system of government!  Supreme executive power	derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some... farcical	aquatic ceremony!Arthur: (yelling) BE QUIET!Man:	You can't expect to wield supreme executive power just 'cause some	watery tart threw a sword at you!!Arthur: (coming forward and grabbing the man) Shut *UP*!Man:	I mean, if I went 'round, saying I was an emperor, just because some	moistened bink had lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away!Arthur: (throwing the man around) Shut up, will you, SHUT UP!Man:	Aha!  Now we see the violence inherent in the system!Arthur: SHUT UP!Man:	(yelling to all the other workers) Come and see the violence inherent	in the system!	HELP, HELP, I'M BEING REPRESSED!Arthur: (letting go and walking away)  Bloody PEASANT!Man:	Oh, what a giveaway!  Did'j'hear that, did'j'hear that, eh?  That's	what I'm all about!  Did you see 'im repressing me?  You saw it,	didn't you?!

[Pie Serendipity]

From "Avengers Assemble", my favourite movie dialogue of all time:

 

Nick Fury:  I'm here to talk to you about the Avengers initiative.

Logan: Go ***bleep*** yourself.

(Explanation? I see Fury as the LL Marketing Department and myself as Wolverine, of course.)

[Ry0ta Exonar]

Father Pirrone: Is Your Excellency here for confession?

Prince Don Fabrizio Salina: Confession? It's not Saturday.

Father Pirrone: Listen to me. Come to confession.

Prince Don Fabrizio Salina: There's no need. You know it all already.

Father Pirrone: The power of confession lies not only in telling our sins, but in repentance.

Prince Don Fabrizio Salina: I know. I know! What would you have of me? I'm a vigorous man. I can't find satisfaction with a woman who crosses herself in bed before every embrace, and can only say "Gesummaria" afterwards. I've had seven children with her and I've never seen her navel. Is that right? I ask you. *She's* the sinner!

 

The Leopard (1963)

[Maryanne Solo]

Awww :matte-motes-stress:

Must have missed part 1

[Storm Clarence]

Nigel Tufnel: The numbers all go to eleven. Look, right across the board, eleven, eleven, eleven and...

Marty DiBergi: Oh, I see. And most amps go up to ten?

Nigel Tufnel: Exactly.

Marty DiBergi: Does that mean it's louder? Is it any louder?

Nigel Tufnel: Well, it's one louder, isn't it? It's not ten. You see, most blokes, you know, will be playing at ten. You're on ten here, all the way up, all the way up, all the way up, you're on ten on your guitar. Where can you go from there? Where?

Marty DiBergi: I don't know.

Nigel Tufnel: Nowhere. Exactly. What we do is, if we need that extra push over the cliff, you know what we do?

Marty DiBergi: Put it up to eleven.

Nigel Tufnel: Eleven. Exactly. One louder.

Marty DiBergi: Why don't you just make ten louder and make ten be the top number and make that a little louder?

Nigel Tufnel: [pause] These go to eleven.

 

This is Spinal Tap (1984)

[Pie Serendipity]

 

I've... seen things you people wouldn't believe... 

Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched c-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate.

All those... moments... will be lost in time, like... tears... in... rain.

Time... to die...

Roy Batty (Rutger Hauer) Blade Runner

 

[Tex Monday]

Criswell: Greetings, my friend. We are all interested in the future, for that is where you and I are going to spend the rest of our lives. And remember, my friend, future events such as these will affect you in the future. You are interested in the unknown, the mysterious, the unexplainable. That is why you are here. And now, for the first time, we are bringing to you the full story of what happened on that fateful day. We are giving you all the evidence, based only on the secret testimonies of the miserable souls who survived this terrifying ordeal. The incidents, the places, my friend, we cannot keep this a secret any longer. Let us punish the guilty. Let us reward the innocent. My friend, can your heart stand the shocking facts about grave robbers from outer space?

 

From the classic "Plan 9 From Outer Space" (1956)

[Nimue Mistwalker]

This is one of my all time favorite dialogs.. not so sure about the "Great Film" aspect.

The Nudge Nudge Wink Wink skit by Monty Python

Norman     Is your wife a...goer...eh? Know what I mean? Know what I mean? Nudge nudge. Nudge nudge. Know what I mean? Say no more...know what I mean?
Him     I beg your pardon?
Norman     Your wife...does she, er, does she 'go' - eh? eh? eh? Know what I mean, know what I mean? Nudge nudge. Say no more.
Him     Well, she sometimes goes, yes.
Norman     I bet she does. I bet she does. I bet she does. Know what I mean? Nudge nudge.
Him     I'm sorry, I don't quite follow you.
Norman     Follow me. Follow me. I like that. That's good. A nod's as good as a wink to a blind bat, eh? (elbow gesture; rubs it)
Him     Are you trying to sell something?
Norman     Selling, selling. Very good. Very good. (hand tilting quickly) Oh, wicked. Wicked. You're wicked. Eh? Know what I mean. Know what I mean? Nudge nudge. Know what I mean? Nudge nudge. Nudge nudge. (leaning over to him, making eye gesture; speaks slowly) Say...no...more. (leans back as if having imparted a great secret)
Him     But...
Norman     (stops him with finger which he lays alongside nose; gives slight tap) Your wife is she, eh... is she a sport. Eh?
Him     She likes sport, yes!
Norman     I bet she does, I bet she does!
Him     She is very fond of cricket, as a matter of fact.
Norman     (leans across, looking away) Who isn't, eh? Know what I mean. Likes games, likes games. Knew she would. Knew she would. Knew she would. Likes games, eh? She's been around, eh? Been around?
Him     She's traveled. She's from Purley.
Norman     Oh...oh. Say no more, say no more. Say no more - Purley, say no more. Purley, eh? Know what I mean, know what I mean. Say no more.
Him     (about to speak; can't think of anything to say)
Norman     (leers, grinning) Your wife interested in er... (waggles head, leans across) photographs, eh? Know what I mean? Photographs, 'he asked him knowingly'.
Him     Photography?
Norman     Yes. Nudge nudge. Snap snap. Grin grin, wink wink, say no more?
Him     Holiday snaps?
Norman     Could be, could be taken on holiday. Could be yes - swimming costumes. Know what I mean. Candid photography. Know what I mean, nudge nudge.
Him     No, no we don't have a camera.
Norman     Oh. Still (slaps hands lightly twice) Woah! Eh? Wo-oah! Eh?
Him     Look, are you insinuating something?
Norman     Oh...no...no... Yes.
Him     Well?
Norman     Well. I mean. Er, I mean. You're a man of the world, aren't you...I mean, er, you've er... you've been there haven't you...I mean you've been around...eh?
Him     What do you mean?
Norman     Well I mean like you've er...you've done it...I mean like, you know...you've...er...you've slept...with a lady.
Him     Yes.
Norman     What's it like?

[PeterCanessa Oh]

Plan 9 From Outer Space :-) Used to be voted the worst film ever made but now generally seen as one of the funniest - especially if you've seen the Ed Wood biopic.

Possibly the best thing about this worst of films is that it's now piblic-domain and available to download.

[Perrie Juran]

 

 

two of my favorites

[Venus Petrov]

From one of my favorite films of all time:

 

Peter Clemenza: He wants us to send Michael to hear the proposition. And the promise is that the deal is so good that we can't refuse.

Sonny: No more meetings, no more discussions, no more Sollozzo tricks!

Michael: We can't wait. I don't care what Sollozzo says about a deal, he's gonna kill Pop, that's it. That's the key for him. Gotta get Sollozzo. They wanna have a meeting with me, right? It will be me, McCluskey, and Sollozzo. Let's set the meeting. Get our informers to find out where it's gonna be held. Now, we insist it's a public place, a bar, a restaurant, some place where there's people, so I feel safe. They're gonna search me when I first meet them, right? So I can't have a weapon on me then. But if Clemenza can figure a way to have a weapon planted there for me, then I'll kill 'em both.

[Everybody in the room begin to laugh]

 

Sonny: [smiles] Hey, whatcha gonna do, nice college boy, eh? Didn't want to get mixed up in the Family business, huh? Now you wanna gun down a police captain 'cause he slapped ya in the face? Hah? What do you think this is? The Army, where you shoot 'em a mile away? You've gotta get up close like this and bada-bing, you blow their brains all over your nice Ivy League suit! Come here!

[Kisses Michael's head]

 

Michael: Sonny …

Sonny: You're taking this very personal. Tom, this is business and this man is taking it very personal.

Michael: Where does it say that you can't kill a cop?

Tom Hagen: C'mon, Mikey!

Michael: I'm talking about a cop that's mixed up in drugs. I'm talking about a dishonest cop...a crooked cop who got mixed up in the rackets and got what was coming to him. That's a terrific story. And we've got newspaper people on the payroll, right, Tom? They might like a story like that.

Tom Hagen: They might, they just might.

Michael: It's not personal, Sonny. It's strictly business.

[Aethelwine]

The whole of the Rawlinson end film is a quote mine.

One favourite :

Sir Henry: I want my meat burned like Saint Joan. Bring me Calvin's mustards and vicious horseradish to pierce the tongue like Cardigan's lancers

and:

Sir Henry: If I had all the money Id spent on drink, Id spend it on drink.

and

Sir Henry at dinner table lets out a loud belch..
Lord Portly of Staines: I say, how dare you belch in front of my wife!
Sir Henry: Sorry old man, I didn't know it was her turn.

And well there is more in these excerpts:

 

 

[Kelli May]

"...future events such as these will affect you in the future" I always loved that line, and the sheer sincerity with which it's delivered.

So many of my favourite lines come from Withnail & I;  both great one-liners and great dialogue. 

Danny: The joint I'm about to roll requires a craftsman. It can utilise up to 12 skins. It is called a Camberwell Carrot.

Marwood: It's impossible to use 12 papers on one joint.

Danny: It's impossible to make a Camberwell Carrot with anything less.

Withnail: Who says it's a Camberwell Carrot?

Danny: I do. I invented it in Camberwell, and it looks like a carrot.

 

[PeterCanessa Oh]

Cake, and the finest wines known to humanity.

[Perrie Juran]

Cheech: Wow, that’s heavy.

Chong: Yeah man,.....But I bet a lota cops smoke dope now ya know.

Cheech: No, I mean look at the..that, man. Looks like a radio station. Hey wait a minute.

Cheech: The request lines are now open! KGFJ Soul Radio-o-o-o-o-ooo!

Chong: Do it now man.

Cheech:  Request lines are now op-

Chong: [laughing] Shh..It’s open man. Go ahead, go ahead, say something.

Cheech: And then I’m gonna take off your dress. [breathes heavily] And then I’m gonna take off your bra. [breathes heavier] And then I’m gonna take off your shoes. [breathes heavily]

Chong: Hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, can your hear me?

Officer Clive: [radio squawks] Hello, headquarters? Hello headquarters? Come in headquarters. This is Officer Clive we are-

Sergeant Stadinko: Use the codename! The codename!

Officer Clive: Headquarters, headquarters come in please. The is Codename: Hardhead-

Sergeant Stadinko: Hat! Hardhat! Give me that! Hello radio dispatch? This is Codename: Hardhat, Codename: Hardhat, do you read me? Over.

Chong: Was that Lard Ass?

Sergeant Stadinko: Hardhat. Codename: Hardhat. Do you read radio dispatch?

Chong: Hey, got somethin’ for ya Lard Ass!

Sergeant Stadinko: Hardhat! Hard! Hat! Do you understand?!

Cheech: Lard Ass! Lard Ass!

Sergeant Stadinko: Hardhat! Radio dispatch, do you know who this is?!

Cheech: No, who is this is?

Sergeant Stadinko: This is Sergeant Stadinko!

Cheech: Oh yeah, you know who this is?

Sergeant Stadinko: No!

Cheech: Bye-bye Lard Ass!

[Storm Clarence]

"Strangelove. What kind of a name is that? That ain't no kraut name, is it, Stainsy?"
"He changed it when he became a citizen. It used to be Merkwurkdigliebe."
       

- General Buck Turgidson & Stains: Dr. Strangelove (1964)

[Ry0ta Exonar]

Malcolm Crowe: I think I can go now. Just needed to do a couple of things. I needed to help someone; I think I did. And I needed to tell you something: You were never second, ever. I love you. You sleep now. Everything will be different in the morning.

Anna Crowe: Good night, Malcolm...

Malcolm Crowe: Good night, sweetheart.

http://youtu.be/Qj0JDnQIZf0?t=3m15s

The Sixth Sence (1999)

=====================================================================

(Donna's son is an openly gay high school student and he was casted as Puck in A Midsummer NIght's Dream by Shakespeare)

Mrs. Boyd: I'm going to LOVE to have you stay for bible study.

Donna: Oh, I have wings to make.

Mrs. Boyd: It's a pot-luck.

Donna: No, for my son. He's a fairy.

Mrs. Boyd: A fairy?

Donna: In a play.

Mrs. Boyd: Ohh...

[laughing]

Donna: Well, in real life, too.

Were The World Mine (2008)

 

[Tex Monday]

I know it's been a couple days, but remembered this

"The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee."

[Ceka Cianci]

Russell Hammond: [Russell grabs phone away from William] Hey, mom! It's Russell Hammond. I play guitar in Stillwater. Hey, how does it feel to be the mother of the greatest rock journalist we've met?

Russell Hammond:Hello? Hello...? Look, you've got a really great kid here. There's nothing to worry about. We're taking good care of him, and you should come to the show sometime - join the circus...

Elaine Miller: Hey, hey, listen to me, mister. You're charm doen't work on me - I'm on to you. Of course you like him...

Russell Hammond: Well, yeah...

Elaine Miller: He worships you people. And that's fine by you as long as he helps make you rich.

Russell Hammond: Rich? I don't think so...

Elaine Miller: Listen to me. He's a smart, good-hearted fifteen year old kid with infinite potential.

Russell Hammond: [Russell is stunned]

Elaine Miller: This is not some apron-wearing mother you're speaking with - I know all about your valhalla of decadence and I shouldn't have let him go. He's not ready for your world of compromised values and diminished brain cells that you throw away like confetti. Am I speaking to you clearly?

Russell Hammond: Yes - yes, ma'am...

Elaine Miller: If you break his spirit, harm him in any way, keep him from his chosen profession which is law - something you may not value, but I do - you will meet the voice on the other end of this telephone and it will not be pretty. Do we understand each other?

Russell Hammond: Uh, yes, ma'am...

Elaine Miller: I didn't ask for this role, but I'll play it. Now go do your best. Be bold, and mighty forces will come to your aid. Goethe said that. It's not too late for you to become a person of substance, Russell. Please get my son home safely. You know, I'm glad we spoke.

[Elaine hangs up]

Russell Hammond: [Russell stands holding phone in stunned silence]

Russell Hammond: Your mom kind of freaked me out.

William Miller: [places hand on Russell's shoulder] She means well.