A gift opinion..Advice

Sephina Frostbite · March 27, 2013

Would it be considered rude if I bought a hair, skin and possibly shape for a person as a gift? At the very least a hair. I don't want to be rude and make them think that I don't like there look. Its just a hey I think this would look nice on you. What do you think?

Ariel Vuissent · March 27, 2013

I think it would be thoughtful. If this person is a new player, in particular, the whole package might be helpful to them. However, if they're not, I would assume that perhaps they LIKE their look, unless they've mentioned something to you that would indicate otherwise. If they're not new, I might limit it to just a hair, for now; maybe a skin if you really want to. A lot of people create their own shapes, and are very proud of them, so I might be worried that buying a shape could be taken the wrong way.

I think a hair and maybe a skin would be a very nice and thoughtful gift, though! Especially if you include a note saying what you mentioned here: Saw these and thought of you, etc.

Matteo Rhiano · March 27, 2013

hmm... think i'd play on safe and go shop together or surprise him/her with a giftcard, but in all cases let him/her decide what to buy.

Skin, hair and shape are very personal. I wouldn't like somebody else bring me that....

Sephina Frostbite · March 27, 2013

Ariel Vuissent wrote:

I think it would be thoughtful. If this person is a new player, in particular, the whole package might be helpful to them. However, if they're not, I would assume that perhaps they LIKE their look, unless they've mentioned something to you that would indicate otherwise. If they're not new, I might limit it to just a hair, for now; maybe a skin if you really want to. A lot of people create their own shapes, and are very proud of them, so I might be worried that buying a shape could be taken the wrong way.

I think a hair and maybe a skin would be a very nice and thoughtful gift, though! Especially if you include a note saying what you mentioned here: Saw these and thought of you, etc.

How would you find out if they like there look if its a guy friend?

Sephina Frostbite · March 27, 2013

Bernard Rhiano wrote:

hmm... think i'd play on safe and go shop together or surprise him/her with a giftcard, but in all cases let him/her decide what to buy.

Skin, hair and shape are very personal. I wouldn't like somebody else bring me that....

I agree so I am just going for the hair. I feel maybe it might be less personal. Am I wrong? I just want them to have nice hair..thats all and I dont think they can afford it. Like the gift card idea.

Tyrath · March 27, 2013

Well From a guys point of view ...Most of us do like to look good and sharp dressed..But it is not easy to find a great skin for guys .There are a few low price one that are nice but if you want a nice skin ya got to spend for it...So what is it guys like in SL ...well we want to look good so that we stand out in a group of people. But no matter what the AVI looks like if they are ..how would you say "not a good person " they will not look good for long .

So welcome to the world were you too can turn a male in to a shopping whore lol opps I gave myself away ...Kicks at the dust bunnies......

Sephina Frostbite · March 27, 2013

Tyrath wrote:

Well From a guys point of view ...Most of us do like to look good and sharp dressed..But it is not easy to find a great skin for guys .There are a few low price one that are nice but if you want a nice skin ya got to spend for it...So what is it guys like in SL ...well we want to look good so that we stand out in a group of people. But no matter what the AVI looks like if they are ..how would you say "not a good person " they will not look good for long .

So welcome to the world were you too can turn a male in to a shopping whore lol opps I gave myself away ...Kicks at the dust bunnies......

/me laughs

How about hair though would you be offended if a female friend bought you a hair she thought would compliment your avi? Would you be offended?

Tex Monday · March 27, 2013

Sephina Frostbite wrote:

How about hair though would you be offended if a female friend bought you a hair she thought would compliment your avi? Would you be offended?

Well...considering I don't have any hair, I probably wouldn't be...:matte-motes-sunglasses-3:

But I do agree with the other statements....if it's a good friend, take them with you to the shops and show them what you would like to give them. That way, he can look at it himself. Remember, everyone's tastes are different. What you might think looks good, he may not like.

Just something to consider...

(and I'll be on around 6SLT tonight, if you want to buy it for me....:matte-motes-sunglasses-3:)

Tari Landar · March 27, 2013

I think it depends entirely on how you present it. I think, generaly speaking, many people would be more accepting of...

"Hey, I found this hair, I think would look awesome on you, What do you think?"-Showing them the hair and if they too like it say something along the lines of "I thought you would... here you go, my treat"..and get them the hair(or gift them the money to get the hair, if it's no trans and you're inworld.

Now if you just randomly handed them the hair, without at least chit chatting a bit about it, you might put someone off. You might not. They very well may be happy no matter what. But, you always run the risk of them not liking it. So I think it's best to make sur eit's something they'd enjoy beforehand. As was already said, a person's look tends to be pretty personal and I would err on the side of caution rather than assumption.

Tyrath · March 27, 2013

I would take them to a store and have them put on a few demo and tell them to look at them and come on who better to dress a man to look hot ..Female know what they want in a man ..Now some of us men do know how to look good this was my first Avi skin and hair I never change it. So just tell them ya are giving them the choice of how to look.

Sephina Frostbite · March 27, 2013

Tyrath wrote:

I would take them to a store and have them put on a few demo and tell them to look at them and come on who better to dress a man to look hot ..Female know what they want in a man ..Now some of us men do know how to look good this was my first Avi skin and hair I never change it. So just tell them ya are giving them the choice of how to look.

Good advice.. Now to find the good quality mens hair inworld...

Madelaine McMasters · March 27, 2013

I only skimmed a few responses, but agree that the choice of skin and shape are very personal. Hair is a bit less so. I'd also be careful about giving opinions and advice about a look. If this person is new to SL, they don't yet know how people judge on looks here. So help them to understand what is possible and how people use and perceive those possibilities.

When I was new to SL, I eagerly sought the advice of the woman who'd taken an interest in me. But after an hour roaming around the shape/skin/hair store with her, we both I realized that what I wanted really and properly trumped everything else. Her gift to me was in taking the time to explain how everything worked and how she saw me, not how she thought I should look.

So a store card and the promise of your time to help spend it sounds like a lovely gift to me.

Ren Toxx · March 27, 2013

It really, really depends a lot on the person. If it was me, I'd appreciate it a lot and would thank you profusely, and for sure I'd store the items for whatever use... but there's a relatively small chance I'd actually wear them, much less all of them and in the intended way (meaning all three items, to actually look like you intended me to). Why? Because I'm very particular, and even if I did like one of the items enough, especially the skin, chances are I'd already have it.

Then again, some people lack either the time, the inclination, the taste and/or the L$ to go shopping in order to make an arguable improvement to their avs; it's not that they don't want to look better, or that they don't like your concept of 'better'... it's just that they can't, or don't know how to look better. These kind of people are far more likely to, not only appreciate your gift, but actually use it as intended.

In any case, I don't think many people would go as far as taking umbrage at your gifting them all that... the few who would are likely rude enough themselves, and you would've noticed it.

It's just that it's more practical if you, kinda, 'probe' them first to see if the gift will be not just appreciated, but also used :smileywink:

UncommonTruth · March 27, 2013

If you can afford it I think it's a nice gesture. I have more than once brought promising noobies shopping for skin shape hair and an outfit. I don't force my taste on them, though I do guide them to what I think are quality shops. If it is an older resident it's a little trickier lol. The gift card is a nice idea.. but I prefer going shopping together and offering to gift if we find something we both like. (I have only a couple of times done that with someone older than a couple of months)

Storm Clarence · March 27, 2013

Hair. Really? Hair is not a gift for him, it is a gift for you.

I would not appreciate any woman outside of my regular barber attempt to groom me. I wear *my hair *my* way. Especially in SL where it is "my world my hair style imagination."

Spend some time and shop on MP. Or spend quality time with the dude and take him for a bumper car ride... you can knock him out of his car and still laugh and laugh together.

Sephina Frostbite · March 27, 2013

Storm Clarence wrote:

Hair. Really? Hair is not a gift for him, it is a gift for you.

I would not appreciate any woman outside of my regular barber attempt to groom me. I wear *my hair *my* way. Especially in SL where it is "my world my hair style imagination."

Spend some time and shop on MP. Or spend quality time with the dude and take him for a bumper car ride... you can knock him out of his car and still laugh and laugh together.

No its really for him. I don't even want to change his hair. I want to give him the same hair just mesh or a better looking version of his hair because I know he can't afford it. I'm not critiquing him. Just want to help a friend out.

Perrie Juran · March 27, 2013

Sephina Frostbite wrote:

Storm Clarence wrote:

Hair. Really? Hair is not a gift for him, it is a gift for you.

I would not appreciate any woman outside of my regular barber attempt to groom me. I wear *my hair *my* way. Especially in SL where it is "my world my hair style imagination."

Spend some time and shop on MP. Or spend quality time with the dude and take him for a bumper car ride... you can knock him out of his car and still laugh and laugh together.

No its really for him. I don't even want to change his hair. I want to give him the same hair just mesh or a better looking version of his hair because I know he can't afford it. I'm not critiquing him. Just want to help a friend out.

A nice gift is something you know they like but might not buy for themselves.

That's how I got my collection of ray guns.

If and only IF you know they are seriously shopping for new hair or skin might a gift of Linden dollars toward the purchase be ok. Otherwise when it comes to appearance, I'd say hands off.

Tari Landar · March 27, 2013

Sephina Frostbite wrote:

Storm Clarence wrote:

Hair. Really? Hair is not a gift for him, it is a gift for you.

I would not appreciate any woman outside of my regular barber attempt to groom me. I wear *my hair *my* way. Especially in SL where it is "my world my hair style imagination."

Spend some time and shop on MP. Or spend quality time with the dude and take him for a bumper car ride... you can knock him out of his car and still laugh and laugh together.

No its really for him. I don't even want to change his hair.

I want to give him the same hair just mesh or a better looking version of his hair

because I know he can't afford it. I'm not critiquing him. Just want to help a friend out.

I'm not judging you at all, I swear, I just want to point something out...the bolded..above.

What if he likes his hair? In that case, there isn't a "better" version, just a version you like better. Which, even if it's for him, is still based on your opinion and not his desires. I don't want that to come across as me being snotty or mean, because I am very far from it, I promise I know you're just trying to do something nice for a friend. Which is very sweet indeed. But when it comes to one's appearance, unless they specifically tell you they don't like something, it's usually better to assume they do like it and they chose it for a reason. There's nothing wrong at all with saying "hey I saw this hair(or whatever) that you might like, it's a lot like the one you have now, but a little different(NEVER use the term better, that's like saying you think they have bad taste, lol). What do you think of it". Even something as simple as "hey look at this hair I found, what do you think of it"...If they like it.. then and only then would I approach it and say "would you like it?" or "my treat, I think it would look awesome on you too"...something along those lines.

I've had people gift me things like that before. In most cases, it wasn't offensive in the least, but I could understand exactly how it might be taken that way by others. In some cases, though the item is nice, I didn't really want it. I still accepted, but I have no use for it. I like the things I use, and chose them for a reason. Now if hubby were to say "babe, you'd look hot in..." it's a bit different than a friend(even a very good friend) saying "I think this one looks better" or "I think you'd look great in..". So who the suggestion comes from, also makes a difference, for me.

He very well may not care, and may be very grateful, or may not like his original and prefer your suggestion too. Or, he may take it as an insult, even if he doesn't tell you it came across insulting. You've got a good chance of either happening. If he's not a very, very good, close friend who will easily overlook the insult...it's not worth possibly insulting. Even if your intent isn't to insult, often the intent doesn't matter nearly as much as how the other person receives it. Sometimes "it was the thought that counts" gets overshadowed by "wtf..s/he hates my look ".

Perrie Juran · March 27, 2013

Tari Landar wrote:

Sephina Frostbite wrote:

Storm Clarence wrote:

Hair. Really? Hair is not a gift for him, it is a gift for you.

I would not appreciate any woman outside of my regular barber attempt to groom me. I wear *my hair *my* way. Especially in SL where it is "my world my hair style imagination."

Spend some time and shop on MP. Or spend quality time with the dude and take him for a bumper car ride... you can knock him out of his car and still laugh and laugh together.

No its really for him. I don't even want to change his hair.

I want to give him the same hair just mesh or a better looking version of his hair

because I know he can't afford it. I'm not critiquing him. Just want to help a friend out.

I'm not judging you at all, I swear, I just want to point something out...the bolded..above.

What if he likes his hair? In that case, there isn't a "better" version, just a version

you

like better. Which, even if it's for him, is still based on your opinion and not his desires.

I will agree with this. When I disguise myself as a Human I still wear the same hair I got when I started in 2007. I really like my hair. I have looked a few times to see if I could find the EXACT same look in a better quality and always wound up wearing my original hair I bought after I un-newbed myself.

I think sometimes men can actually be fussier about our hair than women.

Alicia Sautereau · March 27, 2013

If some one would send me a new skin/hair/clothing out of the blue, i`d politely thank them, and trash it...
Every one`s perspective of what looks "good" on them is different, i wouldn`t wear what you are wearing in 1000 years, not my taste, same with my male alt, no like, trash

Ask him if he would like to shop to start with and interrested in getting new skin/hair/clothes, then take him shopping, if he likes it, gift it to him, but never gift something to either male or female unless they tell you they like * item

Staralien · March 27, 2013

I had a guy friend I took hair shopping and I paid for it.

Another one...

I flat out told a guy friend he needed to update his hair and took him to the place to get it. He tried on a bunch of demos, and when we found a hair we both liked...HE paid for it!

Both were thankful for me being honest with them enough to tell them they needed a new look. :matte-motes-evil-invert:

Sephina Frostbite · March 27, 2013