Was I bullied?

[Orca Flotta]

Well, here in Germany, we have an old saying:
"Der Klügere gibt nach." (the smarter one relents.)
And when moving the box is easy, just letting the issue go is the smarter solution.

 No, it's not. Or, okay, maybe smarter in the short term but that doesn't mean it's the right way to react. I did this my whole life and watched how the not-so-smart people took advantage of my relenting, pushing me around and not taking me seriously. Not anymore, no ma'am!

To answer the OP's question: yes, you were bullied; no, the bully wasn't correct. Only one way to react: tell that beeotch to get lost, mute her and go on your merry ways. End of story.

 

[Sidnella Riler]

Some people is unbelievable, poor old miserable boring neighbour you have haha, certainly for being an older resident she had no etiquette, as you put the house first, she should have put it at different height for starters, and she probably likes camming around other peoples houses, I say, don't worry and report her first for affecting your SL experience

[Ted McGregor]

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Marigold Devin wrote:

Also, as you have discovered already in this thread, there are certain people on the forums who will pick up on your seeming naivety.  They do not know it all either, and are covering up for their own insecurities.  The best action you can take in these cases is inaction. Block/mute/ignore.

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I couldn't care less for your advice to block/mute/ignore me, but food for thought are not just cupcakes, mind you.

[Ceka Cianci]

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MissNessy wrote:

I rent on a moderate sim that borders a general sim. I placed my sky house 2,500 meters high. Two days ago a 5 year resident on the General sim puts their sky house exactly at the same height as mine at 223 meters away in draw distance from my house. That resident IMs me and tells me I had better remove those "filthy" nude photos I have on my walls or else she is going to file an abuse report. The photos are only black and white erotic couples photography.

I told her this is a moderate sim it's allowed. She told me I was wrong and that if she is able to see the photos then she can and will report me for broadly offensive content. I told her not to cam into my house then. She said she could cam anywhere she wanted and as far as she wanted. She then told me to either move my house as far away as I could from her or remove the photos. So I moved my house up to the 3,500 meter height. She IMed me thanking me. I felt bullied. Was she right?

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nope she wasn't right

you have your images behind closed doors..where she decides to cam is where her came ends up..her cam was in moderate while her avatar was in a general sim....she chose to cam into a moderate sim..that was her choice..

her cam does not decide the size of her borders of her land or change someone elses rating..

next time just tell her..your avatar may be on general..but your cam is on my land when you are looking in my house..

if she keeps harrassing you just tell her you will report her for harrassment..ignorance is no excuse for harrassment..

 

[Marigold Devin]

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TDD123 wrote:

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Marigold Devin wrote:

Also, as you have discovered already in this thread, there are certain people on the forums who will pick up on your seeming naivety.  They do not know it all either, and are covering up for their own insecurities.  The best action you can take in these cases is inaction. Block/mute/ignore.

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I couldn't care less for your advice to block/mute/ignore me, but food for thought are not just cupcakes, mind you.

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I couldn't care less if you couldn't care less, and did I mention you specifically? Guilty conscience much?

[Ted McGregor]

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Marigold Devin wrote:

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TDD123 wrote:

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Marigold Devin wrote:

Also, as you have discovered already in this thread, there are certain people on the forums who will pick up on your seeming naivety.  They do not know it all either, and are covering up for their own insecurities.  The best action you can take in these cases is inaction. Block/mute/ignore.

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I couldn't care less for your advice to block/mute/ignore me, but food for thought are not just cupcakes, mind you.

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I couldn't care less if you couldn't care less, and did I mention you specifically? Guilty conscience much?

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No.

[Marigold Devin]

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TDD123 wrote:

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Marigold Devin wrote:

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TDD123 wrote:

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Marigold Devin wrote:

Also, as you have discovered already in this thread, there are certain people on the forums who will pick up on your seeming naivety.  They do not know it all either, and are covering up for their own insecurities.  The best action you can take in these cases is inaction. Block/mute/ignore.

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I couldn't care less for your advice to block/mute/ignore me, but food for thought are not just cupcakes, mind you.

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I couldn't care less if you couldn't care less, and did I mention you specifically? Guilty conscience much?

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No.

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ok

[Ted McGregor]

ok

[Pussycat Catnap]

If you had built your house at ground she would have a case for making you pull things.

In the sky, she should basically STFU and deal with it. You're on moderate land, and not out in the open up there.

 

Even though you have now moved your skybox, consider ARing her for harrassment.

You were at a height, away from public view, that was empty.

She took steps to move there, then hassled you for doing something perfectly within the TOS of where you were, and threatened to AR you if you didn't comply.

- She harrassed you into being forced to moving to feel safe and comfortable in your own place.

That is ARable.

 

[Pussycat Catnap]

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Melita Magic wrote:

I hadn't read Dillon's post yet when I posted. I didn't know the TOS was that strict even about things put within someone's home. I thought the realistic depictions of nudity or sex had to be on public display to be considered against TOS anywhere but adult land.

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Dillon forgot to bold the preceding part that said "publicly promotes".

Its easy to miss, I've done the same before.

 

"The Adult designation applies to Second Life regions that host, conduct, or display content that is sexually explicit, intensely violent, or depicts illicit drug use.  A region must be designated Adult if it hosts, advertises, or publicly promotes:

• Representations of intensely violent acts, for example depicting death, torture, dismemberment or other severe bodily harm, whether or not photo-realistic (meaning that images either are or cannot be distinguished from a photograph).
• Photo-realistic nudity.
• Expressly sexually themed content, spaces or activities, whether or not photo-realistic. We broadly define what is "sexually themed" to include any sexually oriented activities and conduct."

[Dillon Levenque]

 

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Pussycat Catnap wrote:

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Melita Magic wrote:

I hadn't read Dillon's post yet when I posted. I didn't know the TOS was that strict even about things put within someone's home. I thought the realistic depictions of nudity or sex had to be on public display to be considered against TOS anywhere but adult land.

---

Dillon forgot to bold the preceding part that said "publicly promotes".

Its easy to miss, I've done the same before.

 

"The Adult designation applies to Second Life regions that host, conduct, or display content that is sexually explicit, intensely violent, or depicts illicit drug use.  A region must be designated Adult if it

hosts, advertises, or publicly promotes

:

• Representations of intensely violent acts, for example depicting death, torture, dismemberment or other severe bodily harm, whether or not photo-realistic (meaning that images either are or cannot be distinguished from a photograph).
• Photo-realistic nudity.
• Expressly sexually themed content, spaces or activities, whether or not photo-realistic.
  We broadly define what is "sexually themed" to include any sexually oriented activities and conduct."

---

Actually I did see that, but the wording of the whole statement is so damn vague. Preceding the part you bolded is this: "The Adult designation applies to Second Life regions that host, conduct, or display content that is sexually explicit...".

Which of those takes precedence? Do they both apply? And does the stuff Hugsy quoted earier from the FAQ override? Like I said, it's vague. It gives me the idea that if LL wanted to find the OP at fault they could, even though like you and like pretty much everyone else in this thread, I feel she was imposed upon.

 

Edited to put in link to the FAQ post

[Bree Giffen]

Does your skybox have large windows where a passerby could see things without having to cam inside the walls? If not, your privacy is being breached and you are being harassed as a result. If LL ruled against you they would be ruling against their very own guidance. LL knows people do erotic/sexy things in the privacy of their homes on moderate sims and they have specifically said that it's okay. Can you imagine your neighbor's AR report? Well I was CAMMING into this private fully enclosed skybox on another sim with different ratings than mine! I've been here 7 years. I'd tell her to take a hike and that I'd AR her for harassment if she didn't move her skybox.

[Monica Querrien]

I wouldnt had moved my skybox...you were there first. I would had told the land owner (because I think you said that you didnt own the sim) that you were being harassed by someone camming into your home from another sim and making inappropriate comments and threats. Also I would had reported them to LL, and muted/banned the person from my parcel. You were bullied, through and through.I might had even tried to find out who owned the sim that person was on and if it was privately owned, report them to the person who owned the land (if it didn't belong to them already).

Just becaise someone has been in SL for a period of time doesn't give them the right to bully others.

[Jadeclaw Denfu]

Syo Emerald wrote: ""Da wo der klügere nachgibt, beginnt die Herrschaft der dummen.""
(Where the smarter one relents, the rule of the dumb begins).

I do understand your sentiment and in most cases I would agree.
In this case it was a one time incident, one of the parties moved the box and that was it.
I would have taken a different stance, if the other resident had kept on nagging.
In that case my recommendation would have been to AR/mute/block the other resident.
A lot of neighborly conflicts are the result of the 'Relenting? Never evar in my life!!!!'-stubborness.

[Knowl Paine]

It's my opinion, that you were bullied.

Just because a Resident is Old, doesn't mean that they are nice. Granny only looks innocent

If the photos are appropriate to the Region's Maturity Rating, I would guess that any Linden judgment, would be made upon "who was there first", rez dates of the objects.

From the events as you have described, I suspect that the un-named resident, Disturbed your Peaceful enjoyment of Second Life. 

 

[MasambaFreeman]

Yes, it seems like bullying to me. The others have already mentioned harassment, what to send to Linden Labs, and maturity rating, et cetera et cetera, so I shall not repeat that.

However, I do commend you for how you handled it; you did not start going hysterical and causing drama in every direction like some people would have. It is better to keep a lid on one's temper, which you did; good job.

[Morgana Hilra]

you can make your parcel private.

it's in land options, so you may need the sim owners permission but, you live on the parcel so it should not be a problem.

and yes, she has ZERO right to say that to you. if she doesn't want to see them, she doesn't have to look.

[Ceka Cianci]

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Dillon Levenque wrote:

 

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Pussycat Catnap wrote:

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Melita Magic wrote:

I hadn't read Dillon's post yet when I posted. I didn't know the TOS was that strict even about things put within someone's home. I thought the realistic depictions of nudity or sex had to be on public display to be considered against TOS anywhere but adult land.

---

Dillon forgot to bold the preceding part that said "publicly promotes".

Its easy to miss, I've done the same before.

 

"The Adult designation applies to Second Life regions that host, conduct, or display content that is sexually explicit, intensely violent, or depicts illicit drug use.  A region must be designated Adult if it

hosts, advertises, or publicly promotes

:

• Representations of intensely violent acts, for example depicting death, torture, dismemberment or other severe bodily harm, whether or not photo-realistic (meaning that images either are or cannot be distinguished from a photograph).
• Photo-realistic nudity.
• Expressly sexually themed content, spaces or activities, whether or not photo-realistic.
  We broadly define what is "sexually themed" to include any sexually oriented activities and conduct."

---

Actually I did see that, but the wording of the whole statement is so damn vague. Preceding the part you bolded is this: "The Adult designation applies to Second Life regions that host, conduct, or

display

content that is sexually explicit...".

Which of those takes precedence? Do they both apply? And does the stuff

Hugsy

quoted earier from the FAQ override? Like I said, it's vague. It gives me the idea that if LL wanted to find the OP at fault they could, even though like you and like pretty much everyone else in this thread, I feel she was imposed upon.

 

Edited to put in link to the FAQ post

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a lot of that has to do with search really..the OP having her stuff inside of her home and not trying to draw attention from the public..in any of those ways.. then she can pretty much hang whatever she wants on her walls in her private property..she can pretty much do whatever she wants in there..

cam draw distance doesn't change the rules or rating on someone elses land because of someone camming from a general rated sim..

if she has her land to where people cannot see avatars or chat from outside her land and decided to have an orgy in the front yard..she would still be ok..because she did what she was suposed to do to keep it out of drawing attention to the public..

 

advertising and hosting and publicly promotes are the key things that make a sim in search have a rating..

private sims really don't advertise in search at all..

 

the OP is not displaying content if it is out of site..

she is not advertising conduct or hosting anything...

it's a private sim or land..

a lot of the  rating definitions were meant for commercial part of SL..not really the private users and their homes..

 

not really until you read the general section where theyjust don't want anything  moderate or above in those..