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Sonja Smedley

Where are all the lonely people?

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Hi there!

Well, I´m searching for friends, cause again I choose a very wrong one and got hurted!

But I stand up again and I´m ready for a new beginning.

Where are all the lonely people in SL...come and let´s be friends.

I´m lonely too and I love to meet new ones.

Everyone is welcome to contact me inworld.

I speak English and German!:-)))

Looking forward to see you.......waves to you.....

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There are quite a few people in the forums that seem to be looking for a new friend, have a quick search and you'll be socializing it up in no time :)

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Wait wait, you chose the wrong ones again? Sigh when will people learn granted there are people behind the avis but sheesh really you think the fat lonely broken down derilects of people that actually play this game are friends? Grranted there are a few exceptions to the rules and yes i know iknow im being mean for stateing my opinon here but that is my right to do so. I see blogs and question about oh how do people not leave sl and rl apart , well i tell you this the moment you voice with them,share any sort of personal info with the opposite then you have blurred that line of SL and RL beyond the point of repair. It is impossible to not invest rl emotions into this hellish realm that we venture into everyday.  Jelousy and hate are a give in and will always happen .. Emotions are intensified here.. like when we find a mate cheating you are limited to the constraints of verbal or typed words and some get frustrated that the fact they can be so easily muted. now before you get all mmmhmmm like.. yes i am also guilty of this... so I do not shake my finger at you without also shaking it at myself as well...So when you ask the Question where are all the lonely people lol i say the game is full of only lonely people. yes there are the sainted few that have no issues in rl at all but i challenge you to contact me and prove it... every one that plays this game is looking for some thing that is missing in their RL.. be it companionship,"love" do even get me started on the use of the word love here in this game lol, or  they are a 500lb human and lives vicariously through sl..what ever your pleasure is what this game is for but we all are guilty of investing way to much time and emotionaly stability in this game. Sorry if i have offended anyone with my rants... but like i say it is my right to express them here... and like it or not i know a few of you see my points as valid.....thanks for reading

 

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You're right that everyone is entitiled to their own opinions...I'm just at as loss as to how yours has anything to do with this thread. The game is full of lonely people, that and boredom are why most of us find online games to pass some time. But it bothers me more than a little that you keep mentioning broken down fat people as the bulk of the players here. I have friends in rl of all shapes and sizes, I dont see how that has anything at all to do with emotional stability. Ok, and now that I have that out of my system lol, it sounds like you've been through some drama yourself. I hope you can work through it without becoming (even more) jaded.

 

@the Op- I'm not on constantly or anything, but you're welcome to IM me anytime I am. :matte-motes-smile:

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Lol im not jaded ive actually been here in SL for going on 5 years now actually im just sure of most of my observations to my Sl if your is different then good for you and i mean that. Yes i have have my share of drama here in sl and i do not deny that in the least. But again i say in my opinion this is just what i think thanks for responding and please feel free to im me at anytime...i love to have good discussions .....Freedom of speech the best thing we can have besides the right to spell stuff wrong as well lololol

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Freedom of speech is a lot like having the Freedom to Swing my arms about... it ends at the point where your arm his my damn nose. Freedom of speech is NOT the same as "Freedom to say any ignorant thing that is generally offensive just because I have a chip on my shoulder."

@OP: Sadly, in life (notice I didn't say SL/RL. They are both part of LIFE) we all make friends who end up doing something stupid/bad/ect. You are at least shoving past the fear of it happening again, and you are putting yourself out there. Better then some who would have put their head in a hole and just hidden.

Feel free to contact me on SL or on FB (http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002505390862) if you want to talk.
(Warning: I admit I am opinionated but I try to be so in a funny way :P)

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Hi,

What i would do is be a bit selective really. Just go to places and give friendship time. The grant of entrustment is a path in all our lives. Even more in sl i would say since it is the internet.

I can't agree actually that friendship in SL isn't possible. I have met the most wonderful people with whom i kept contact rl because they live close to me. Their rl was very ok, but nothing in life is perfect. Everyone has issues here and there, and more and less.

I do agree that there are many in SL out of misery in rl. I am sorry to hear that, but that is the exact reason why i do strongly would advice you to be very selective and like rl, do build entrustment rather than just jumping in.

It is not interesting to have a 50+ friendslist just for the numbers lol. It is about the quality.

Ach für mich ist die Deutsche Sprache einer mitt historie. Super, perfekt kann ich es nicht mehr, aber ich mag die Sprache sehr gerne :)

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I honestly do not see anything wrong on people who are obviously lonely and looking for a little glimpse of fulfillment. Perhaps the reason why someone is lonely in RL is because they did not have a choice like what she/he would get in SL. What I don't get is people who claimed that they are happily fullfilled in RL and yet the things that they did in SL were clearly the opposite. 

At least the OP is being honest about it. Many of us are in denial. Many of us had become numb, weary and a little bit bitter...

 

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God knows it is easy to get bitter due to Life, both your real life and second life (Which blend).

 

I tell everyone, and I truly mean it, that so long as you give 100% and you can go to sleep that night knowing you did not hide, that you did not let fear control you, that you did not run from risks... then you can at least sleep knowing you are trying to live your life as much as possible.

 

 

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Very well stated but yet i dont think you understood my point there, i hve true friends here in sl and i said that there are the exceptions to the rule here in sl but there are far more bad people here than good, over the five years ive been here i now have my permenent SL wife it took me awhile to get her to see thas what i wanted i personally have never cheated on anyone ive been with here in sl or rl for that matter, I have played the game so to speak and realized that the game was so much more, ive have had my share of drama more than you would believe if i took the time to explain it all i have had people just for the fun of it try to break me and my girl up using alts to slander her name and i belived it for awhile then realized she is what i wanted here and to hell with the rest, the mixture of the people that view this a s a game only are the ones you have to watch out for here in SL. This game is pardond the words the ultimate Mind **bleep**, you can make anyone think and belive anything you want here and there are those here that prey on those tender souled individuals here nad i find that disturbing because some do use this forum as a sort of therapy for their RL. I have had friends become more here and become rl married couples, those are the ones that know just what SL is really about, but most swing towardsthe drama claming that they do not want any drama lol i find that laughable actually, because you have to admit drama is the bread and butter of SL in the long run. So yes Friends are truely possible here i never deny that fact.

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Hell, there are more bad people off of second life then good... so it stands to reason there are more bad people on second life then good.

 

But I am sure it has NOTHING to do with the American dream being "greed is good" or anything like that.

/innocent_whistle

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Simondavis wrote:

Very well stated but yet i dont think you understood my point there, i hve true friends here in sl and i said that there are the exceptions to the rule here in sl but there are far more bad people here than good, over the five years ive been here i now have my permenent SL wife it took me awhile to get her to see thas what i wanted i personally have never cheated on anyone ive been with here in sl or rl for that matter, I have played the game so to speak and realized that the game was so much more, ive have had my share of drama more than you would believe if i took the time to explain it all i have had people just for the fun of it try to break me and my girl up using alts to slander her name and i belived it for awhile then realized she is what i wanted here and to hell with the rest, the mixture of the people that view this a s a game only are the ones you have to watch out for here in SL. This game is pardond the words the ultimate Mind **bleep**, you can make anyone think and belive anything you want here and there are those here that prey on those tender souled individuals here nad i find that disturbing because some do use this forum as a sort of therapy for their RL. I have had friends become more here and become rl married couples, those are the ones that know just what SL is really about, but most swing towardsthe drama claming that they do not want any drama lol i find that laughable actually, because you have to admit drama is the bread and butter of SL in the long run. So yes Friends are truely possible here i never deny that fact.

Simondavis, you're making generalizations that certainly don't agree with my observations. I find most people in SL to be good. It would be hard to imagine all the wonderous creations I see if there were "far more bad people here than good". When the world around me looks wrong the first thing I do is wash my glasses (usually in Lia Abbot's gin). I want the best vision possible.. clear with no discoloration.

Throughout life, we look for patterns to explain things in the world around us. When I look closely, the most powerful pattern in my life is my own involvement in it.

 

 

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Hehe.. Bandito, I like how you think... clearly the opposite of me.

I find solitude in the confine of my own privacy. I hide and run from risks because I know it's best for me... and yet, a lot of time I'll surprised myself with my impulsiveness by jumping into a sticky situation and will be kicking my own ass for what I had done. I have hurt people and lost a good friend because of that. Live and Learn that's what I had been told...

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I am going to disagree with you.

I've met more good people than bad people. Your problem is that you expect too much from everyone and in return unwilling to give and let it be. The OP feels that she made the wrong choice. In some ways I can relate her to you. She has expectations and her expectations were not fullfilled. I see nothing wrong there and I see nothing wrong with you wanting to have a certain level of consistency in your SL life. Heck, I dig 'Consistency'... it sooths my soul.

You have seen so much and experienced a lot. Having your mind reformatted back to factory settings can sometimes be good for you too. In fact that's what we all should have that from time to time... rebooting back to the newbie days and be amazed again at what SL and it's occupants.

If only we can turn back time...

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But without risk, there is no growth. Life without risk is like a pool of water without a stream feeding into it. It stagnats, it does not grow, nor change.

 

I know the risks I run means getting hurt, but hell, I figure I could get hurt even if I don't risk anything... cause other people can still hurt you even if you huddle away from anything "chancy".

 

A wise woman once told me, and I think she stole it from someone else, :
"Your friends ARE going to hurt you. You ARE going to hurt your friends. The real question is if those involved can look past that hurt to forgive."

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You are right on this... and that is why I think Sonja has some admirable atitudes when it comes to making the best of her experience in here. She doesn't give up and she isn't bitter. She has hopes that one day she will find that she's looking for.

And that wise woman is so right too... I think the true test of a real friendships are the ones that are willing to forgive each other. If we couldn't look past that then perhaps the friendship was purely superficial if in the first place anyway...

One thing about me that probably a lot of people who knew me beyond my forum persona had noticed while I can be an interesting and fun to be as a friend, my affections & loyalty are 'interactively conditional' ... kinda like "be nice to me and i'll be nice to you" sort of way.

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Simondavis wrote:

Lol im not jaded ive actually been here in SL for going on 5 years now actually im just sure of most of my observations to my Sl if your is different then good for you and i mean that. Yes i have have my share of drama here in sl and i do not deny that in the least. But again i say in my opinion this is just what i think thanks for responding and please feel free to im me at anytime...i love to have good discussions .....Freedom of speech the best thing we can have besides the right to spell stuff wrong as well lololol

Ok, I believe you, after all, I dont know you. I was basing my opinion off of the one post, wich had a decidedly jaded ring to it lol. I havnt been on sl long enough to have observations about it realy. But I've been on other games, and my game of rl. I see and hear drama like everyone, It rarely involves me tho, so I dont involve myself. ^^

I LOVE my right to spell stuff wrong! I flaunt that one allll the time. :matte-motes-silly:

And, I have a hard time finding anyone, my slow computer kills the search for me. I love a good discussion myself, so I'm open to hearing from anyone with anything to say lol.

 

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Hey...it was not my intention to start a discussion about good and bad people in SL and I know that there are many bad ones around yes, but that is not the point for me.

I only wanted to come together with other ones, who feel lonely sometimes at SL.

And not all people who come to SL are lonely as one here said.I also have much to do in RL and I have a family to care for but I love this virtual world...I love to explore, go shopping, make pics, care for my meeroos, like to change houses and create things.Yes it has become my second home.

I only noticed that many people open a thread here, where they search for friends so I thought I do too.

Cause of course there are often days when I have nothing to do inworld and take lonely walks on the beach...would be nice to share this sometimes with others.

I still have friends here, but many of them have another time zone, so I must stay half the night inworld to meet them.

And I also know that in future I will  make bad experiences again and again, that´s SL, not much difference to real life.

But I have learned from my past mistakes and I am still optimistic when I look into the future.Cause every day you can meet another great one here and that´s makes it worth to play this game for me.

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Sonja Smedley wrote:

Hi there!

Well, I´m searching for friends, cause again I choose a very wrong one and got hurted!

But I stand up again and I´m ready for a new beginning.

Where are all the lonely people in SL...come and let´s be friends.

I´m lonely too and I love to meet new ones.

Everyone is welcome to contact me inworld.

I speak English and German!:-)))

Looking forward to see you.......waves to you.....

Ahh Sonja!  Don't be lonely!  Look me up if you wish!  That goes for the rest of you lonely people too!  Dig?

 

Peace!

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..try "Dream Isalnd"..if u have not already.  Generally great people there..  Wouldn't say they are lonely, excatly BUT local caht abounds.  And remember, Sonja..loneliness is highly under rated :) lol

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I am finding myself very lonely here in Second Life.  As I posted off in another thread everyone is coupled off everywhere I go!

I havn't played in a few years so I'm really unfamiliar with what everyone does now.  I'm a REALLY chatty person so expect me to talk a lot once I get into that comfort zone.  ^_^  I get along with all sorts of people.  

 

<3Cheyenne

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ShyBirdShy wrote:

I am finding myself very lonely here in Second Life.  As I posted off in another thread everyone is coupled off everywhere I go!

I havn't played in a few years so I'm really unfamiliar with what everyone does now.  I'm a REALLY chatty person so expect me to talk a lot once I get into that comfort zone.  
^_^
 I get along with all sorts of people.  

 

<3Cheyenne

Look me up Shybird!  I have a good ear, and I am a good listener!  Far out!

 

Peace!

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