Not sure how he finds me every time

[Rowan Amore]

As I mentioned, there are systems that can track IF you allow it.  SIN tracker has been around for years as had VGS .   if some game also uses this type of tracking, it's still something you opt into.  They both also have privacy modes you can turn on to hide.

[Hymn Celestia]

1 hour ago, Liaa Nova said:

Would be interesting to know if the ex plays that game, as only they have it

for sure it would be interesting to know if he plays that game.  Now I really want to know what that game is!!

[Dafadilia Wayfarer]

I'm sorry that you're being harassed in sl with someone who obviously has too much time on their hands. Or so it seems.

Please understand from the outset I'm going to try and be as tactful as possible with what I'm about to say.

I had a stalker in sl for over five years. He was my ex. When we separated I blocked all of his accounts that I knew of and my sl sister blocked him from where we lived. I lived a very active sl since part of my time was helping my rl bestfriend and sl sister run her residential sim as well as volunteering some of my time helping new comers in the spiritual community I'm part of. I'm also an avid roleplayer. My ex knew all of these places that meant everything to my sl and he made sure to cause as much discomfort as possible. He started by creating new accounts and moving them into one of my sister's rentals. He would show up at the new comer area I volunteered at on different new alts and would even try to start roleplaying with me on those alts. Sometimes he would even attempt to flirt and start up a relationship with me only to get frustrated because I wouldn't respond in kind.

After awhile he would let the facade slip and bring up things that only him and I would know about our past together. So the alt would get reported to LL and he would get blocked. LL could only do so much and I knew that so for the longest time I simply tried to deal with the harassment by ignoring him the best I could. I stopped using my two oldest accounts from 2009 and started using a new account. He found out and started harassing me. By this time I had met my current sl and rl hubby. I was getting weary of the harassment so I knew I had to make some hard choices. I started over yet again. First I made Daffy here that I use to post on the forums. A year later I made my regular account I use inworld now. I moved away from my sister's sims. I stopped my volunteer work and roleplay. I was devasted because the experience pretty much alienated me from everything I loved in sl, but it had to be done. For three years I didn't set foot on my sister's sims, I didn't take part in my spiritual community and I didn't roleplay. The harassment stopped.

I've slowly integrated back into the places I loved and missed. Just not on such a large scale as before. I took away his source of fun. Myself. I think he got bored after that and went on his merry way.

The one thing I will say that really concerned me in your post is how you gave this person access to rl. That is not good. Please be careful of the trust you give out to others in both worlds. What you tell them about yourself and your real life as well. Don't give bad people tools to harm you. Whether that is in the physical or psychological. I really hope you find out how this guy is continuously finding and harassing you.

 

 

[Arielle Popstar]

20 hours ago, Myrthe Mysterious said:

Sorry I did not responded on your suggestion before, but I used other virtual games before. And I like SL alot, so it is not that I dont want an anwser to my problem.

If I really would want to stay in the victimhood legacy as you think, why would I post it here then?

It is not easy to write these things here, when I finally decided to do this. I really was so tired for trying everything I could think of.

And I hope he finds something new to obsess on, I really do.

It is not fun when you cant go anywhere afraid for getting him in my IM's again.

And I am glad for the people who anwsered and gave options, and yes the most I have tried. and of course I am thinking about the anwsers If I maybe not did it good enough or maybe I forgot something.

So I really am looking for an anwser

Ok well thank you for responding and my apologies for coming on a bit strong about your intent here. I do think though that taking a SL sabbatical might be helpful especially Opensim as it is very much the same in many ways up to and including the viewer. 

For situations like yours and some others who have mentioned having stalkers, it would almost be nice to have a Stalker Vigilante group where you could drop the name of the stalker so that others could maybe give them a taste of their own medicine. Just the threat of it might make some think twice about stalking.

[Paul Hexem]

18 hours ago, Luna Bliss said:

The stalker wins when we don't take the victims claims seriously and even blame them for the abuse.

Yeah, and the rain wins if we use an umbrella!

[Love Zhaoying]

8 minutes ago, Paul Hexem said:

Yeah, and the rain wins if we use an umbrella!

Best to always wear rubbers, though.

[Myrthe Mysterious]

On 4/13/2024 at 9:34 PM, Neremyn said:

IoT - internet of things. Basically smart devices that connect to the Internet. Can be a smart microwave, oven, doorbell, locks, cameras. Usually the cheap chinese devices never get security updates and very often they end up with vulnerabilities which allows to be hacked. It's really a stretch. Resetting the router or getting it replaced is good enough.

Change your passwords and don't use your "main" email as a recovery for the new email.

Ok, thank you I understand it. I will do that, and I will call today with my provider.

I changed my passwords and mu main I don't use for recovery anymore

[Myrthe Mysterious]

On 4/13/2024 at 10:14 PM, UnilWay SpiritWeaver said:

When you got a new machine, did you copy over your applications, settings and data? If so you likely copied over tracking / keylogging / etc software as well.

And that would be how someone would keep tracking you through new machines.

If you know anything about this person in RL, take it to the police. The part I quoted above seems to suggest you two have talked in RL so yes - get police involved.

Computer security wise, if you know anyone in RL who is tech savvy have them look over your machine and your setup. Some of the likely things you will need to do:

1. Change all passwords using something different from your previous style of making passwords - got to do this while logged out of everything. Might even suggest doing it on a totally different computer at something like a family member's house.
2. Put your 'data' somewhere like google drive.
3. reformat your computer.
4. Install apps all base brand new. Don't copy things over from a backup.
5. This is where you get a little extreme: grab the data down from google drive on a different KIND of computer. If your computer is a Mac, use a PC, and vice versa. Virus scan it all. Put it on a flash drive, put it back on your machine. Alternatively in future only access that old data through google drive and never download it - but I am not sure how secure this is.
6. If you have a Mac savvy friend, deleting viruses, malware, etc from Macs is super easy. Cleaning PCs is harder but modern Windows is harder to get infected than modern Mac (it's very easy to put a virus on a Mac machine, and just as easy to remove it. Its very hard to infect Windows now, and just as hard to clean it).

Outside of that... your other thoughts on VPNs etc.

 

If this person is near you in RL, then you might need to look into some added measures, as far as making sure you don't have airtags or cameras hidden in your home. If any of that is the case - get police involved.

 

Lastly. my post above: language was not an issue in your post. The words themselves were easy to understand.

But having the entire post on a single line made it visually very hard to read. Looks like your posts after that have formatting though. Maybe that was a forum submit error that removed all the new-lines in the first post.

 

Thank you for your anwser, I had a mac before and I use a windows laptop now.

As fas as I know I did not copy anything from my mac to my new laptop. Only thing I can think of is my I cloud was the same. could that be it?

And I will ask my neighbour if he will take a look at my laptop, he knows alot about those things you mentioned.

We talked in RL and I know some about him, but he does not live near me. Glad he doesn't

Oo well I did not knew I typed it all on one line, I will watch that if I write a long text again.

[Myrthe Mysterious]

On 4/13/2024 at 10:42 PM, Kathlen Onyx said:

The only sure way to never talk to him again is make a new avatar. Turn off IM's for anyone not a friend or group and leave your profile empty with no payment info on it. You can always transfers $L to your new avatar from your old one.

You are probably thinking that it isn't fair you have to do all this but if you really have been stalked for 3 years and he keeps finding you then this is the best way to go.

If anyone has experienced or heard of someone going this far to stalk someone in SL I'd love to hear of the experience.  

Well I dont mind anymore if it is fair, like it is now it is also not even fun to be in SL either, so it is better to have all that put off.

I jut like to explore and shop and do my own things.

I did read a few stories from others who have experienced this, and even talked with a few about who sadly experienced this

I understand it sounds weird and you cant believe it, and thats fine. I am just glad for you that you never have had this before, and you can enjoy your SL like you wish.

Thank you for your anwser 

[Myrthe Mysterious]

On 4/13/2024 at 10:54 PM, Qie Niangao said:

It may be more practical to stop trying to fight this with escalating technical responses unless this crosses the line into real life stalking. Instead, to repeat my earlier suggestion, let him think he won in the least satisfying way: bore him past the point of interest. This does not mean to abandon whichever account(s) he's already stalking. You need that stalked account more than ever, because you'll use it to make him go away. Keep using it, but make it less and less interesting to stalk. Just mute him or pretend to mute him and do stupider and stupider things with that avatar, make them tedious and incoherent, as if the avatar is being operated by a defective Artificial Intelligence, but a really boring one.

Of course if that were your only account, it would make SL boring for you, too, so make a completely different new account. Don't worry about using the same machine because this new account will be completely different. It's not going to share anything about your previous Second Life experience, nothing your stalker would encounter and nothing they'd be interested in if they did. 

There are many different ways to experience Second Life. Your goal is to start this new account doing stuff you'd never consider doing before, with an avatar completely different from any you've used before. Think about what attracted you to your previous avatar: did you like its hair? If so, your new account should have no hair at all. Was your skin a good feature? Fine, switch to scales, or mech hardware. Did it move well with good animations? Nope, the new one should have whatever you can scavenge from old Library avatars. In fact, some weird old Library robot avatar might be a good place to start.

Not the SL you want? Yeah, of course not, but it's a way to investigate parts of SL you'd never experience otherwise, broaden your SL horizons and make some discoveries you can use later, after you've lost this creep. And anyway, meanwhile, you'll need to spend some of your time actively boring him with the stalked account. 

(Incidentally, Myrthe, I knew you'd be back because you sound like a grown up, after all this, not easily intimidated by a little Forums skepticism. In fact, you might be especially situated to accept those who are so worried they might be getting tricked, as if that were the worst thing in the world.)

well thats not a bad idea to do. Now im stuck at my home and do not much anymore.

So it doesn't matter how my avatar looks at this point, If I can go out and not only stay in one place.

Atleast I would have some fun again, so I will give it a try for sure and we will see what happens.

And for the boring part, he called me a boring person, I asked him if it makes him happy to get rejected so many times ( this is a while ago, I dont interact with him now)

Im normally not easily intimidated or a scared person at all, if it is RL you can see and know who you are up against. For me it is the person behind a screen you dont really know, and you never really know whit which avatar he is coming this time.I cant fight against someone who knows more about the online possibillities then I do, who is trying to play mindgames and those have effect. 

Some time ago I really was messed up about this all, I thought I was going crazy. The things said with different accounts really made me act weird, and confused. Now Im getting at a point I dont really care anymore what others think or say.

Also he showed me he is not the person I met at first, the person I really liked as a person, respected and cared for.

He is a coward behind a screen, who is trying to make others feel just as miserable as he is.

 

[Myrthe Mysterious]

22 hours ago, Rowan Amore said:

As I mentioned, there are systems that can track IF you allow it.  SIN tracker has been around for years as had VGS .   if some game also uses this type of tracking, it's still something you opt into.  They both also have privacy modes you can turn on to hide.

I dont know any of these 2 trackers, I once tried bloodlines, as cct combat, they dont use those I believe?

[Myrthe Mysterious]

20 hours ago, Dafadilia Wayfarer said:

I'm sorry that you're being harassed in sl with someone who obviously has too much time on their hands. Or so it seems.

Please understand from the outset I'm going to try and be as tactful as possible with what I'm about to say.

I had a stalker in sl for over five years. He was my ex. When we separated I blocked all of his accounts that I knew of and my sl sister blocked him from where we lived. I lived a very active sl since part of my time was helping my rl bestfriend and sl sister run her residential sim as well as volunteering some of my time helping new comers in the spiritual community I'm part of. I'm also an avid roleplayer. My ex knew all of these places that meant everything to my sl and he made sure to cause as much discomfort as possible. He started by creating new accounts and moving them into one of my sister's rentals. He would show up at the new comer area I volunteered at on different new alts and would even try to start roleplaying with me on those alts. Sometimes he would even attempt to flirt and start up a relationship with me only to get frustrated because I wouldn't respond in kind.

After awhile he would let the facade slip and bring up things that only him and I would know about our past together. So the alt would get reported to LL and he would get blocked. LL could only do so much and I knew that so for the longest time I simply tried to deal with the harassment by ignoring him the best I could. I stopped using my two oldest accounts from 2009 and started using a new account. He found out and started harassing me. By this time I had met my current sl and rl hubby. I was getting weary of the harassment so I knew I had to make some hard choices. I started over yet again. First I made Daffy here that I use to post on the forums. A year later I made my regular account I use inworld now. I moved away from my sister's sims. I stopped my volunteer work and roleplay. I was devasted because the experience pretty much alienated me from everything I loved in sl, but it had to be done. For three years I didn't set foot on my sister's sims, I didn't take part in my spiritual community and I didn't roleplay. The harassment stopped.

I've slowly integrated back into the places I loved and missed. Just not on such a large scale as before. I took away his source of fun. Myself. I think he got bored after that and went on his merry way.

The one thing I will say that really concerned me in your post is how you gave this person access to rl. That is not good. Please be careful of the trust you give out to others in both worlds. What you tell them about yourself and your real life as well. Don't give bad people tools to harm you. Whether that is in the physical or psychological. I really hope you find out how this guy is continuously finding and harassing you.

 

 

Sorry to hear that you had to endure that. And that one person can destroy the joy for others.

Glad to read that you are enjoying your SL again and I hope there is a time you can enjoy again like you did before.

I know what you mean, I changed maybe 10 times with my account, but I was torn between keep changing and felt like a chicken for hiding away, or If I would confront everything and just keep my main. Then it feels like I see it coming, the thrill is for him to find me over and over. So with my main there is no thrill for him, if it makes sence 

That was really a dumb move I made, I really did trusted him. Now I don't even talk about my RL anymore, I learned my lesson the hard way.

Thank you for your anwser

[Myrthe Mysterious]

19 hours ago, Arielle Popstar said:

Ok well thank you for responding and my apologies for coming on a bit strong about your intent here. I do think though that taking a SL sabbatical might be helpful especially Opensim as it is very much the same in many ways up to and including the viewer. 

For situations like yours and some others who have mentioned having stalkers, it would almost be nice to have a Stalker Vigilante group where you could drop the name of the stalker so that others could maybe give them a taste of their own medicine. Just the threat of it might make some think twice about stalking.

It is ok, I understand how my story looks like, so I cant blame if there are people out there who cant believe it.

It is not something I would ever had believed if it did not happend to me.

Well, I did looked if there where some groups for stalkers, but not found really one, and I was to shy or scared to even tell my story

And I think you are right about taking an SL sabbatical, because it is not much fun now either.

Thanx

[Kathlen Onyx]

Just as a warning to people about discussing RL on SL. Even the most innocent of things could have dire consequences.

I once met someone who told me what city and state they were from.  Innocent chat as we were talking about the weather.

About 3 months later he told me he'd won a Christmas decorating contest from the city and they gave him a prize and were going to post pictures on their website. Out of curiosity, because I wanted to see the pictures, I went to the site and lo and behold his real name AND address was posted.  It also showed his RL picture.  If I was the sort that was out to harm people I very easily could have done it.  I made sure he knew to not share that kind of info with anyone. 

So giving access to your real PC wasn't smart but just assume everyone here "could be" out to harm you in RL and act accordingly.

Edited April 15 by Kathlen Onyx