Avatars are anti social

[SpiritSparrow Skydancer]

 

My original post was this. "Mostly local chat is dominated by gestures or a few people and when someone might try to interact they are ignored. So why bother?  "

 Is this not true?

Gestures tend to disrupt chat and any attempt at communications is ignored because likely it is never seen. So, people do not bother.

 

 

 

 

 

[SpiritSparrow Skydancer]

15 hours ago, Gwin LeShelle said:

True. But we in the Japanese community use local quite wild and often x3 because IM sessions with 12+ people is just not fun I guess haha

but yeah local is mostly dead when I think back to my first years where it was buzzing and people had conversations everywhere it’s like dead land now 😕
 

and it’s not avatars that’s antisocial at the beginning everyone was free to talk all open behind their avatars in SL…the internet thing was still shiny and new to many and now people in general are more jaded, some got burned badly and many are just very cautious nowadays since we all are much more aware that it’s not safe to share too much with random strangers online

I do remember when it was a much more friendly environment for sure.  The problem with multi IMing are you forget which one you are typing in lol.   And don't get me started in local voice chat lol...

[Gabriele Graves]

37 minutes ago, SpiritSparrow Skydancer said:

Everyone here knows I was Tarina Sewell and have been since I first signed on 16 years ago. I have been Little sparrow for near on 8 years now as vanity name.  I spent 15.99 to change my name because I adore the last name skydancer and I am not a free account moocher..   I changed it to little sparrow after my husband passed away.. As well as you can CLEARLY SEE IT ON MY FEED.   What is your problem?

I didn't know this.  I suspect there are others too.  Thanks for letting us know.

[Scylla Rhiadra]

9 minutes ago, SpiritSparrow Skydancer said:

Gestures tend to disrupt chat and any attempt at communications is ignored because likely it is never seen. So, people do not bother.

Yes, agreed.

10 minutes ago, SpiritSparrow Skydancer said:

"Mostly local chat is dominated by gestures or a few people and when someone might try to interact they are ignored. So why bother?  "

This depends on where you go. I don't go to clubs where people typically use gesture spam; there are lots of them, actually. I don't go because chatter in local is one of the appeals of clubbing for me: it's a social situation.

A DJ I like and whose gigs I try to attend plays every Tuesday night at a club that invariably attracts huge crowds. In my experience, places that typically attract 30+ or so people for sets tend to be the ones that also feature the gesture spam (not to mention the annoying and repetitive butt slapping -- yeesh, how old are you, 14?), and this event is no exception, so I attend her shows at small, more intimate spaces where there is no gesture chat, and lots of real talk in IM.

It's a choice.

[SpiritSparrow Skydancer]

Just now, Gabriele Graves said:

I didn't know this.  I suspect there are others too.  Thanks for letting us know.

 It is not a big deal.  When my husband died I felt lost and really alone.. I was fighting PTSD and depression and all sorts of nasty things.. I felt like a little bird in a strong wind. So, I was llittlesparrowinthewind for a long time. 8 years later I am feeling better about life and living. So when I saw skydancer... you know I am still a spirit sparrow but now I dance.  I have never hid it and if people I know IM me I tell them right away who I was.  It is no secret and if anyone wanted to research it's all there. I do not hide anything.

I honestly do not know what on earth that person decided that they wanted to try to cause me trouble by "outing me" I could care less.

 

 

 

[Love Zhaoying]

22 minutes ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

It's a choice.

For some, open chatting with gestures in a group is a choice. 

For others, I think they are compelled by darker forces.

[SpiritSparrow Skydancer]

1 minute ago, Love Zhaoying said:

For some, open chatting with gestures in a group is a choice. 

For others, I think they are compelled by darker forces.

It is awful when someone gesture spams and my auto-ignore kicks in, you do not know how many times I've had to unblock a host or venue owner!!

 

[SpiritSparrow Skydancer]

My apologies to using moocher, I understand people have their reasons for having free accounts and it not my right to label them or judge them. I am not a snob I was caught in the heat of the moment and did not think how that would come off.

[Scylla Rhiadra]

16 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said:

For some, open chatting with gestures in a group is a choice. 

For others, I think they are compelled by darker forces.

LOL @ "darker forces." Possibly, it's a plot to use certain key phrases to implant particular ideas in our heads, that will one day be "activated" by the Dark Lord.

And on that terrible day . . .

 

I have no idea why people use these, honestly. They can't think of anything even vaguely interesting to say, but want to be "noticed"?

In some ways, it reminds me a bit of one of the things that most annoys me about Facebook: "automated engagement." Like, when Facebook prompts you to comment on someone's post, or asks if you want to leave a Happy Birthday message for them. It takes all of the effort, and hence thought and genuine meaning, out of connecting with someone else. It seriously is just a matter of time before FB starts writing people's responses and comments for them.

Want to engage with the crowd, but don't know what to say? Well, WE DO! Just hit this convenient key combo to "engage" with others!

And of course, it really does render actual communication in local much more difficult, so it's not even doing what it is, I imagine, "supposed to do."

Edited August 1, 2023 by Scylla Rhiadra
Clarity

[Love Zhaoying]

Gesture spam is one way people say, "Whooo! Party!" Whereas, they may in RL be an introvert, or have no reason to party, or just need to blow off steam; run around like a kid a yelling happily. 

[Sammy Huntsman]

Just now, Love Zhaoying said:

Gesture spam is one way people say, "Whooo! Party!" Whereas, they may in RL be an introvert, or have no reason to party, or just need to blow off steam; run around like a kid a yelling happily. 

But I mean, you have people getting all offended at people who come to SL clubs to just listen to the music escape and dance. And they don't talk at all. Not everyone is coming to clubs to interact and make new friends, some just go there because they want to enjoy the music and escape. 

[Love Zhaoying]

1 minute ago, Sammy Huntsman said:

But I mean, you have people getting all offended at people who come to SL clubs to just listen to the music escape and dance. And they don't talk at all. Not everyone is coming to clubs to interact and make new friends, some just go there because they want to enjoy the music and escape. 

Yep!

[Sammy Huntsman]

1 minute ago, Love Zhaoying said:

Yep!

It would be like people getting mad at people going to an RL Bar with a group of friends and interacting with them. And someone gets mad that this group of people is not interacting with everyone else. 

[Scylla Rhiadra]

Just now, Sammy Huntsman said:

It would be like people getting mad at people going to an RL Bar with a group of friends and interacting with them. And someone gets mad that this group of people is not interacting with everyone else. 

Are people getting mad at others for not chit-chatting in local?

[Love Zhaoying]

Just now, Sammy Huntsman said:

It would be like people getting mad at people going to an RL Bar with a group of friends and interacting with them. And someone gets mad that this group of people is not interacting with everyone else. 

Or, like trying to have a loud conversation with your friends during a live performance, while everyone else is watching and listening to the performance..!

[Sammy Huntsman]

3 minutes ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

Are people getting mad at others for not chit-chatting in local?

Yep. Specifically in clubs. They put these standards onto everyone, like if you go to an SL club. You must chat and interact in local. And get mad at people for not doing that and just chatting with their friends in private or even coming by themselves and dancing and enjoying the music. But don't realize if they want people to chat in local, maybe they should just initiate it. 

Edited August 1, 2023 by Sammy Huntsman

[Sammy Huntsman]

1 minute ago, Love Zhaoying said:

Or, like trying to have a loud conversation with your friends during a live performance, while everyone else is watching and listening to the performance..!

That too!! 

[Scylla Rhiadra]

2 minutes ago, Sammy Huntsman said:

Yep. Specifically in clubs. They put these standards onto everyone, like if you go to an SL club. You must chat and interact in local. And get mad at people for not doing that and just chatting with their friends in private or even coming by themselves and dancing and enjoying the music. 

I really haven't seen that here? Can you show me someone getting angry that people don't socialize in open chat?

The OP suggests that it's the natural tendency of using avatars NOT to socialize, but that's not the same thing as suggesting that people SHOULD.

[Sammy Huntsman]

14 minutes ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

I really haven't seen that here? Can you show me someone getting angry that people don't socialize in open chat?

The OP suggests that it's the natural tendency of using avatars NOT to socialize, but that's not the same thing as suggesting that people SHOULD.

I have seen a few posts in forums bringing that up, I honestly don't remember where. But there are a few suspects that constantly bring it up. And since it's against TOS to name them. 

[Rowan Amore]

It's usually just a couple asshats who TP in, no one is chatting in local so.they make comments about everyone being a bot.  They were doing it back in 09 when I started so nothing has changed.

Haven't been to any clubs that even hint at people using local as opposed to IM.

I've said it before, local chat, to me, is like talking really loud in a restaurant so everyone can hear you.  Who does that?

[Scylla Rhiadra]

1 minute ago, Rowan Amore said:

I've said it before, local chat, to me, is like talking really loud in a restaurant so everyone can hear you.  Who does that?

/me jumps up excitedly, waves her hand in the air, then looks around and hurriedly sits down with an embarrassed look on her face.

[Sammy Huntsman]

2 minutes ago, Rowan Amore said:

It's usually just a couple asshats who TP in, no one is chatting in local so.they make comments about everyone being a bot.  They were doing it back in 09 when I started so nothing has changed.

Haven't been to any clubs that even hint at people using local as opposed to IM.

I've said it before, local chat, to me, is like talking really loud in a restaurant so everyone can hear you.  Who does that?

I mean most sane people don't do that, but then you have people that expect you to talk to them. Without realizing that if they want people to talk to, they maybe need to take the initiative and message the person. But without being all flirty and stuff, I mean hey how are you goes a long way. 

[Ayashe Ninetails]

1 minute ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

/me jumps up excitedly, waves her hand in the air, then looks around and hurriedly sits down with an embarrassed look on her face.

[Scylla Rhiadra]

2 minutes ago, Rowan Amore said:

Haven't been to any clubs that even hint at people using local as opposed to IM.

More seriously though . . .

I think there must be a cultural divide here. The clubs I go to (The Velvet, Tango at Nottoo's, the Mercury Room, Sucker Punch Sally's, to name but the most common ones) all not only feature a lot of local chatter (and real chatter, not gestures), but tend to employ DJs who encourage it. Most of the DJs I know actually get concerned if there isn't any local, and will work to spark some themselves (as they don't usually have hosts or hostesses).

[Rowan Amore]

Just now, Sammy Huntsman said:

I mean most sane people don't do that, but then you have people that expect you to talk to them. Without realizing that if they want people to talk to, they maybe need to take the initiative and message the person. But without being all flirty and stuff, I mean hey how are you goes a long way. 

A lot of people actually do prefer local for whatever reason.  They mention "if it's not something you can say in public, don't say it in IM" as their reason and they're entitled to that opinion.  In a room full of 30 avatars, I really don't care to introduce myself out loud to the whole room just to mention I liked something in someone's profile.