Ishayu Posted October 16, 2021 Share Posted October 16, 2021 (edited) How common is the need for a chat in Second Life do you think? I am thinking of starting open house coffee mornings for people who just want to meet up and chat about their issues, a rant, or help for a mental puzzle or situation which they have been pondering for a while. It is one of the most valuable exercises to open up to a complete stranger and share the odd epiphany. Being clear, this is not an offer of counseling, but rather an open house to come discuss stuff, in "Coffee Morning" style. The idea here is to have some others come help too, and eventually turn it into a regular thing. People can just come drop in for a chat. Many of us travel the SL landscape with mental baggage. Lets here your thoughts. Edited October 16, 2021 by Ishayu 6 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alwin Alcott Posted October 16, 2021 Share Posted October 16, 2021 Hope you are qualified as mental coach/helper .. or other professional? There are already to many charlatans in SL trying this, with, not unthinkable, very bad outcomes because it's no professional at the other side of the line. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ayeleeon Posted October 16, 2021 Share Posted October 16, 2021 Why not just IM random strangers in SL and chat with them? 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BjorJlen Posted October 16, 2021 Share Posted October 16, 2021 Hmmmm... While I think your other ideas have been good (your bookclub for example), I am not sure about this one. Such issues you describe are generally fairly personal one's, and while it is alway's great to offer a helping hand (or ear in this case), isn't that what good friends are for or those who support and love you (especially in RL)? What you suggest tends to lean twords "therapy" sessions, instead of more friendly relief. Not saying it's a bad idea at all here; just that it might be best to leave that to those much closer to the person in question, then a person (or persons) he/she barely knows. Instead, why not say "If anyone needs a sholder to lean on, or a friendly non judgemental ear to vent to, feel free to IM me, because I am here for you, and always... the honor is to serve". Something like that. 🙂 But what do I know? I think most people need therapy of one sort or another lol. 😁 Peace... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karenx0 Posted October 16, 2021 Share Posted October 16, 2021 5 hours ago, Ishayu said: open up to a complete stranger We may see Second Life as a very large platform, but it's not large. When you say open up to a complete stranger, why would anyone open themselves to any stranger? As we all know most people in SL, they just like to take advantages of people when things go south. Rather be it a friend or a stranger...also when you say "therapy", it makes them sound that they have some kind of mental illness that needs to be fixed, mend. 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathlen Onyx Posted October 16, 2021 Share Posted October 16, 2021 SL would be the last place I would be discussing my "mental baggage" with complete strangers. 3 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ishayu Posted October 16, 2021 Author Share Posted October 16, 2021 59 minutes ago, BjorJlen said: Hmmmm... While I think your other ideas have been good (your bookclub for example), I am not sure about this one. Such issues you describe are generally fairly personal one's, and while it is alway's great to offer a helping hand (or ear in this case), isn't that what good friends are for or those who support and love you (especially in RL)? What you suggest tends to lean twords "therapy" sessions, instead of more friendly relief. Not saying it's a bad idea at all here; just that it might be best to leave that to those much closer to the person in question, then a person (or persons) he/she barely knows. Instead, why not say "If anyone needs a sholder to lean on, or a friendly non judgemental ear to vent to, feel free to IM me, because I am here for you, and always... the honor is to serve". Something like that. 🙂 But what do I know? I think most people need therapy of one sort or another lol. 😁 Peace... It's an interesting discussion isn't it. What I have found since the last few weeks in SL around me is people starting to feel really comfortable with each other among the regulars, to the point we start opening up. Unrelatedly, I have observed many posts on Facebook where people are having a sort of passive aggressive rant about something or other, in the hope they get comments or a like, often in a way where they don't say outright but are inviting comments. For me, this indicates they are reaching out and want somebody to recognise them. So, its definitely a thing. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BjorJlen Posted October 16, 2021 Share Posted October 16, 2021 (edited) 21 minutes ago, Sam1 Bellisserian said: SL would be the last place I would be discussing my "mental baggage" with complete strangers. Seconded... Though me thinks that would be just common sense ya know? 🙂 But you know what they say about common sense... 😉 Peace... @Ishayu, it may not be my place to say this as I have only 24 post's here, but let me try and clarify something. You said "What I have found since the last few weeks in SL around me is people starting to feel really comfortable with each other among the regulars, to the point we start opening up." That is because they HAVE been here for so long, many of them are already friends and have gotten to know each other (either in game, or on the forums, or in both). And such close people can and sometimes do "open up" and discuss things on a more personal level. It is quite another thing to do that with someone they really don't know all that well, as I get the feeling you'd understand. So while your heart may be in the right place (and I commend you on that), I would find it very unusual if anyone took you up on your offer unless they knew you better. It's just the nature of trust, ya know? Just like I would be extremely surprised if anyone approached me with such a idea; unless they had no one else to speak to of course; but that would be another matter entirely. So my advice? Just make a kind offer like I suggested, and be a real friend instead. For at the end of the day, while we all may need to vent from time to time, that is what friends are for, not relative strangers with good intentions. But in the end, you decide. 🙂 Peace (again lol)... Edited October 16, 2021 by BjorJlen To replay to @Ishayu as his reply hit just as I hit save lol... 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karenx0 Posted October 16, 2021 Share Posted October 16, 2021 22 minutes ago, BjorJlen said: So while your heart may be in the right place (and I commend you on that), I would find it very unusual if anyone took you up on your offer unless they knew you better. It's just the nature of trust, ya know? 3000% True. A mama cat will scratch a stranger's face even if the stranger just wants to pet the babies, or give them food. Unless the mama cat is your baby, she will trust you with her babies. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rowan Amore Posted October 16, 2021 Share Posted October 16, 2021 Opening up is all well and good until things go south and that "friend" you told all your problems to turns around and blabs your business all over SL or VS. 5 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nick0678 Posted October 16, 2021 Share Posted October 16, 2021 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karenx0 Posted October 16, 2021 Share Posted October 16, 2021 1 hour ago, Rowan Amore said: Opening up is all well and good until things go south and that "friend" you told all your problems to turns around and blabs your business all over SL or VS. That's what I said SL people? Most of em they want to take advantage and be jelly for no fkn reason 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karenx0 Posted October 16, 2021 Share Posted October 16, 2021 2 hours ago, Ishayu said: I have observed many posts on Facebook where people are having a sort of passive aggressive rant about something or other Those people's morning coffee means drama. When they are no dramas, they create one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BjorJlen Posted October 16, 2021 Share Posted October 16, 2021 Thank God I never use Facebook then... 😁 Oh the simple things in life... 😋 Peace... 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luna Bliss Posted October 17, 2021 Share Posted October 17, 2021 (edited) On 10/16/2021 at 5:21 AM, Ishayu said: I am thinking of starting open house coffee mornings for people who just want to meet up and chat about their issues, a rant, or help for a mental puzzle or situation which they have been pondering for a while. I'd give it a try and see how it goes. There have been numerous 'morning coffee' type groups in SL, and many found such groups to be beneficial. You'll find that over time the group will develop a life of its own where boundaries and parameters manifest within it, much as any relationship does, and according to the people who regularly attend the group the degree of safety needed for depth of disclosure will develop. Edited October 17, 2021 by Luna Bliss 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ishayu Posted October 17, 2021 Author Share Posted October 17, 2021 24 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said: I'd give it a try and see how it goes. There have been numerous 'morning coffee' type groups in SL, and many found such groups to be beneficial. You'll find that over time the group will develop a life of its own where boundaries and parameters manifest within it, much as any relationship does, and according to the people who regularly attend the group the degree of safety needed for depth of disclosure will develop. A super way of looking at it here Luna. There are a few regulars at my place who I do not know fully yet (has only been three weeks), but are already feeling comfy enough open up. We do not give specifics really, but generalise issues, in order to raise discussion. A few have found it to be a really healthy exercise, as opposed to shutting it down off the bat. Hope to see you in SL too, say hi one day 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathlen Onyx Posted October 17, 2021 Share Posted October 17, 2021 17 minutes ago, Ishayu said: A super way of looking at it here Luna. There are a few regulars at my place who I do not know fully yet (has only been three weeks), but are already feeling comfy enough open up. We do not give specifics really, but generalise issues, in order to raise discussion. A few have found it to be a really healthy exercise, as opposed to shutting it down off the bat. Hope to see you in SL too, say hi one day Good Luck! 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luna Bliss Posted October 17, 2021 Share Posted October 17, 2021 2 hours ago, Ishayu said: A super way of looking at it here Luna. There are a few regulars at my place who I do not know fully yet (has only been three weeks), but are already feeling comfy enough open up. We do not give specifics really, but generalise issues, in order to raise discussion. A few have found it to be a really healthy exercise, as opposed to shutting it down off the bat. Hope to see you in SL too, say hi one day Sure...send me an IM Sounds like you already have a good group underway. I remember the very first groups I connected with in SL...there's something special about those earliest times and I'll always feel close to the people though some of them I'll probably never see again. Even the groups that ended on a bad note...still, they were special. Nothing ventured, nothing gained... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ishayu Posted October 18, 2021 Author Share Posted October 18, 2021 On 10/17/2021 at 5:22 PM, Luna Bliss said: Sure...send me an IM Sounds like you already have a good group underway. I remember the very first groups I connected with in SL...there's something special about those earliest times and I'll always feel close to the people though some of them I'll probably never see again. Even the groups that ended on a bad note...still, they were special. Nothing ventured, nothing gained... Hiya, to be honest you are right, I try anything out once. Hey, have sent you a hello in SL too Hope to see you soon. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ted McGregor Posted October 18, 2021 Share Posted October 18, 2021 On 10/17/2021 at 3:48 PM, Sam1 Bellisserian said: Good Luck! Sshhhhh .. let it happen ... 🙄 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
June Clavenham Posted October 30, 2021 Share Posted October 30, 2021 I like the idea of “morning coffee with friends”, not necessarily to vent but just to share with other people that time when you wake up and make your coffee and log to your pc, before starting the daily routine in RL. Specially for people that live alone it is such a nice way to start the day. It is something I’ve been doing most days and really enjoying it. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ishayu Posted October 31, 2021 Author Share Posted October 31, 2021 19 hours ago, June Clavenham said: I like the idea of “morning coffee with friends”, not necessarily to vent but just to share with other people that time when you wake up and make your coffee and log to your pc, before starting the daily routine in RL. Specially for people that live alone it is such a nice way to start the day. It is something I’ve been doing most days and really enjoying it. You are a regular to Noggins Cafe and it is so nice to see how we have all opened up and chat as though we have known each other for years. A few people have said how they feel welcomed too. Totally agreeing with your comments here, thank you June. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
June Clavenham Posted October 31, 2021 Share Posted October 31, 2021 5 hours ago, Ishayu said: You are a regular to Noggins Cafe and it is so nice to see how we have all opened up and chat as though we have known each other for years. A few people have said how they feel welcomed too. Totally agreeing with your comments here, thank you June. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doris Johnsky Posted October 31, 2021 Share Posted October 31, 2021 On 10/16/2021 at 10:31 AM, karenx0 said: We may see Second Life as a very large platform, but it's not large. When you say open up to a complete stranger, why would anyone open themselves to any stranger? As we all know most people in SL, they just like to take advantages of people when things go south. Rather be it a friend or a stranger...also when you say "therapy", it makes them sound that they have some kind of mental illness that needs to be fixed, mend. Frankly I would open up to someone to a stranger who seemed sincere than someone who know in SL. I'm secretive about my life in general. Telling an Ava I'll never meet again serves me well. On the other side, I've had people I don't know tell me things. I think it made them feel better opening up. No, I'm not a pro counselor. I merely offered my opinion about their issue and made sure they understood I'm simply telling them what I think based on what they told me. I might add these are issues about things in SL, not RL. If they want to talk RL, I may listen, but offer little advice or opinions. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karenx0 Posted October 31, 2021 Share Posted October 31, 2021 46 minutes ago, Doris Johnsky said: Frankly I would open up to someone to a stranger who seemed sincere than someone who know in SL. I'm secretive about my life in general. Telling an Ava I'll never meet again serves me well. On the other side, I've had people I don't know tell me things. I think it made them feel better opening up. No, I'm not a pro counselor. I merely offered my opinion about their issue and made sure they understood I'm simply telling them what I think based on what they told me. I might add these are issues about things in SL, not RL. If they want to talk RL, I may listen, but offer little advice or opinions. Not all people are nice like you. 😆 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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