Luna Bliss
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Everything posted by Luna Bliss
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Why are you pointing this part out (that creepy people don't have insight into their own creepiness)? Are you thinking we should cut them some slack then? I might, but it depends. Everybody projects on to others to varying degrees, and of course I include myself. It would likely depend on whether they realized they were projecting and apologized, and I definitely would not cut someone any slack if they kept forcing me to adhere to their projections. -
I met a woman in 2nd life a long time ago who was an embalmer. I felt a sense of being creeped-out around her while knowing I really shouldn't feel that way around her, because after all she was just doing a necessary job for society! But I kept seeing her messing with dead bodies..lol. She said many did find her job creepy.
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It really is interesting how it differs so much. I kind of scanned the article, but I don't think they mentioned someone projecting on you to a great degree (psychologically) as being creepy to anybody...but it is to me! Likely because of childhood experiences, but yeah, it feels super creepy when people are basically hallucinating about me and trying to get me to accept their perspective about me when I know it's not true. It does matter how forcefully they attempt to do so, as to how much creepiness I feel though.
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An interesting article: https://ideas.ted.com/what-makes-a-person-creepy-and-what-purpose-do-our-creep-detectors-serve-a-psychologist-explains/
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I'll point it out the next time you do. I'm sure it won't be long. The way you are attempting to debate here is creepy for sure . I have never in my life stated or implied that all men are creepy. Again, show me where I said that.
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I've seen it implied, even by you on multiple occasions and perhaps the reason you are defending it so much? I don't believe that all men are creeps, and I've never implied it. Show me where I have.
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Well I don't approach women other then to compliment them but on the very rare occasions I felt somewhat creeped by a male, I simply stopped conversing with them and poofed elsewhere. Fright was not the reason for it it but that they took a roleplay into an area where I have a boundary. I didn't as a result blame all men for being creeps, just that one and acknowledged that my style of dress and look may have led that man to think he could go there with me. I'm sure you will find, especially on Twitter, some who think all men are creeps....but I'd bet my life on the fact that they are in the minority. I haven't seen anyone on this forum assert that. I'm wondering why you bring this up?
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I like what @Theresa Tennysonsaid in response to you: "People's success and failure are generally a combination of two sets of factors - some of them are related to their personal strengths and weakness, and others are related to factors outside of their control". I don't believe everybody can "get it right", but that shouldn't stop you from trying if you really want something.
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The only solution is to back away if you get a sense a woman you approach feels creeped-out.....I mean you wouldn't want to frighten someone would you?
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I like gravy on mashed potatoes but not so much a fan of gravy on bread. I had a friend that just loooovvved gravy on biscuits and would get it every time we went out for breakfast...sausage in the gravy.
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I SO get this LOL!!! You are a NOBODY here till you have a few people hate you!!!!!
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We do know that is true of countries like China and Japan - where rapidly falling birth rates are a result of 'social isolation' in terms of intimate relationships. I note that because if it was true elsewhere then we'd see the same end result: empty schools, empty maternity wards, etc. China's on projection right now to have from half it's current number to less people than the USA does in a few decades - depending on how severe things get. The impact of "less fooling around" on a societal level is dramatic. I don't really know much about this, but from a cursory glance it seems increased availability of birth control and economic insecurities are the main drivers of a lower birth rate currently in certain countries.
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I know. Even on the forum among us adults someone was hounded off the forum once who was dyslexic and couldn't really help how she was communicating. It is sad when I see this happen.
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I know, I'm eating some chocolate that finally arrived from Amazon as we speak. And then I'm goin shopping @ Fafa's!!
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I eject/ban griefers from sims, Arielle. Abusers. Those who don't take no for an answer. Those who have no boundaries/respect for others and whose only purpose to be on the sim is to ruin the experience for others. If you feel inadequate as a man because of that I don't know what to say.
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The skills are honed later on once one has the foundations in place, learned early on by the example of their primary caregivers. Lacking that early childhood foundation, they will be at a loss until they have gone back to learn that. It is like trying to teach someone algebra when one has not learned basic math skills first. The socialization begins even earlier and it's not so clear-cut as you're making it out to be (according to current theories in Psychology). For our purposes, however, I have the eject-ban button ready when those without their learnin' come to disrupt the sims I work/play at.
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If one has not been shown or taught boundaries growing up, they will have no clue what they are for themselves or others later in life. But the boundaries label should not be applied to any and all interactions that might make one feel uncomfortable. Quite often it is simply a type of situation that one is sensitive to from family of origin issues, where as a child one was taken advantage of as a result of being helpless. As an adult we are not helpless anymore and hopefully have the skillset to prevent it going further without having to resort to anti social behaviours in protecting ourselves. Can you provide some examples where people set boundaries with others in "anti-social" ways? I tend to think you just don't want anybody to have limits around you as it puts a damper on your freedom. I don't see these women who are finding men creepy in 2nd life and voice their annoyance as "anti-social" -- they're just sick of the behavior. Most men who successfully date learn that women prefer a relationship along with the sex, and some of them even come to enjoy relating emotionally to their partners!
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Not nearly as rare as you like to make out. There are quite a few dating coaches out there who teach men how to do serial pickups minus the killing at the end. Again, citations please...
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Pet Peeve: This is not for sale at the store I'd like to buy it:
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*citations needed These skills are learned far beyond age 3-5. Someone mentioned autistic individuals earlier -- even they have been taught how to interact with others in healthier ways that create better relationships for them.
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Ted Bundy comes to mind -- so polished. Yes these people are out there, his type and those not so extreme, but they are rare. However this is no excuse not to pay attention to people who don't seem to understand boundaries from the get-go. It's a sign that should be paid attention to, as it's likely the lack of boundaries will manifest throughout the entire relationship when it counts even more. And I'm not talking about simple awkwardness, or some shyness....I'm speaking to a lack of boundaries which indicates a deeper problem that demonstrates someone lacks empathy & respect to a great degree. This is what 'boundaries' are about -- being able to see 'the other' and respect them, respect their preferences and needs. It would be stupid to ignore blatant signs just because there are polished creeps out there.
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Your theory, a misinterpretation from the stats in the video, assumes that all men who make the first move will be seen as creepy, but that's not true -- because some women do does not mean all women do. Plenty of women like the man to make the first move, and those who consider a move on them as creepy generally feel that way because a guy is hitting on them in inappropriate places or in an insensitive manner, and so there are options in the way one pursues -- so there is no 'between a rock and a hard place'. There are men who approach in a creepy manner, and there always has been. What is primarily different now is that women are speaking up finally to assert and defend against those who are creepy. If you aren't one of those men, no need to worry. Likely more men in 2nd life are perceived as creepy because they're ONLY here for sex -- this is not appealing to many women and they find it creepy when approached for sex without any sort of relationship first. As I've said, it isn't making the first move that can make a man seem creepy -- it's a lack of boundaries and situational awareness. ~Boundaries -- the manner in which you pursue, the dance back and forth between distance/closeness to another that respects each others preferences. ~Situational awareness/Context -- where exactly you decide to achieve your goals -- some places are more suited for this activity than others. In other words, pursue a woman romantically at a bar, not a meditation group. And definitely not on the beach where I'm trying to teach people how to sing Sikh mantras. And pursue in a sensitive way that shows you understand boundaries regarding the emotional dance between people that enables closeness/distance -- don't ramrod your way in too fast, but be sensitive as to whether she's responding to your overtures and adjust accordingly. I have plenty of male friends who have no problem whatsoever with these dynamics and date successfully. They aren't fearful of being seen as creepy -- that could be because they know how to approach women. If you're having problems you could try studying 'psychological boundaries' and other texts that describe how to date successfully. Workshops, too, are a great way to learn.
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