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Scylla Rhiadra

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  1. Scylla Rhiadra
    Really interesting insights, Solar. And food for thought. Thank you very genuinely for sharing!
  2. Scylla Rhiadra
    Yes yes. Not all men. And lots of women too I'm sure. The problem is that these behaviors are frequently gendered. I'm sure there ARE women who behave as the men we've described -- but, sorry, this is a kind of approach to relationships and sex that is particularly associated with the social conditioning of men. Socialization is NOT the same for men and women. It should be. But it isn't. And it won't be until we collectively address the gendered assumptions around sex, relationships, and power. And yes, we need to address at the same time the bad behaviors of women. But those are predominantly different behaviors.
  3. Scylla Rhiadra
    Your story is utterly horrifying. I've experienced things a bit like that -- not quite so obsessive, and about L$6000 cheaper, but similar in that I too found myself dreading the log-in. I'd check the online status of my friends before logging in, to make sure the coast was clear. And within a minute of logging in, up he'd pop . . .
  4. Scylla Rhiadra
    And the irony is that it should be so much easier in SL to establish "what this person wants," because we have profiles that can spell that out. And, I think, most people, or a great many of them, do. So, why does that get ignored so often?
  5. Scylla Rhiadra
    I was talking to @Aiyumeiabout this earlier, and we were both sort of saying this. I'm enormously friendly -- but I am really wary about sending an IM to a man whom I don't know well because, in the past, it's so often been misread as a come-on. This despite the fact that my profile makes it clear that I don't do that. It is, as both you and @blissfulbreezesay, by no means "all men" who are like this, but it's common enough that I seldom initiate contacts with men now. And that's awful -- because I do like making new friends, but also because it all but forces me into the position of being the "passive woman," waiting to be approached by a man. And the result is, I'm sure, that there are men out there who would make lovely friends but whom I will never get to know.
  6. Scylla Rhiadra
    Another point worth mentioning. In addition to the fact that so much of NFT crypto-bro culture is about scamming the unwary to make a fast buck and destroying the environment in the process, it is also culturally destructive to a terrifying degree. The idiots who bought the special edition of Dune that I posted about above also plan to rip the pages out of this rare book, scan them into NFTs, and then burn the book itself. Why? Because it will supposedly increase the value of the NFTs. I don't have words for how I feel about this kind of cultural vandalism. Destroying a rare book (even one that, in this case, I don't personally care much about) in order to claim "exclusivity" over the shredded bits of images they retrieve from it first represents yet another apex of human stupidity and evil. How long, I wonder, before someone purchases a copy of a First Folio Shakespeare, a gorgeously illuminated medieval manuscript volume, or Gutenberg's 42-line Bible, and subjects it to a similar fate?
  7. Scylla Rhiadra
    /me weighs the toaster in her hands thoughtfully
  8. Scylla Rhiadra
    You should likely also be worried because there are many hard and throwable objects very close to hand in the kitchen, Paul. Like plates, pots, and pans. OOPS! WATCH OUT! 😏
  9. Scylla Rhiadra
    And that's as it should be. An important thing about SL is that you have the tools here to shape your own experience, including how you want to approach connections with other people, romance, and sex. And, it's important to note, this isn't "RP," nor just "good times" for many people here. For a great many people, the bonds that they form are very real, regardless of how intimate those might be. It's fine to approach SL as a place to just have "some good time with a person online" -- so long as the expectations of your partner match your own. In other words, you both need to know what you are, or are not, signing up for. But if your style is different, that is also totally cool. I'm actually, personally, in agreement with you: I wouldn't find "good times" with someone I didn't know well very "good." I need to know and like the person I'm with to enjoy it: intimacy for me has to be emotional as well as physical. And that, as you say, takes time.
  10. Scylla Rhiadra
    I totally told him to watch his language!
  11. Scylla Rhiadra
    There's a very nice house elf who lives, evidently, near my home sim. And about once a month, almost like clockwork, he IMs me to ask if he can serve me. I keep throwing socks off my sky platform, but I guess I'm throwing them off the wrong side?
  12. Scylla Rhiadra
    ALL of them? You're going to be busy! I'll have my PA shoot along a PR package: I want to be sure that the photo catches my good side. Be a little careful, though: I have at least 5 or 6 followers on Twitter who can get very irate. Not on my behalf, of course, as they barely know I exist. Just sort of generally irate about . . . well, pretty much everything.
  13. Scylla Rhiadra
    There used to be some fashion blogs -- not as big certainly as Seraphim, but for their time, reasonably influential, that took "political" stands. JuicyBomb was one. Oh, because why not? I used to read your blog. And a fair number of the others -- Ciaran's, for instance. Inara's is the only one I pay a lot of attention to these days. They do not seem to have the reach they once did, and I'm not sure why not. But even in their heyday, they did not penetrate much in-world. a) you may find yourself busy again soon (I hope not) b) that's horrible, but I'm glad to hear he's recovered The Herald was utter trash. Surely no one took it seriously? It was a half step up from Virtual Secrets, and only because it occasionally employed full sentences. Here again, as before, I am going to push back on this notion that there is, or ever has been (at least in my time), an FIC here. The Forum Cartel was (and still notionally is) a social group and nothing more. And while a few individuals might have been noticed -- Desmond, perhaps -- LL paid zero attention to what was said here. Remember when Rod Humble "introduced himself" to the SL community . . . by posting on SLU? And again, the penetration in-world of the forums is negligible. I get recognized in-world as a forumite maybe two or three times a year? Tops. Yeah. This I don't get. The efficacy and reach of LL's communications with the population of residents as a whole, or of specific communities (Belli, SLB, etc.) is . . . awful. I get a brief, aesthetically dull, and mostly uninformative email newsletter once a month, I think -- and most people seem to opt out of that. You'd think they would want to fix that. I generally agree -- as I've already said here, above -- that it's not a bad thing that we don't have "influencers" here, because they tend to be undemocratic, and kinda into mob rule. (Which is one the main raison d'etres of Twitter these days, it seems.) But . . . your suggestion that keeping us "atomized" as advantageous to LL is probably true. And would seem to me one reason we might want a tool for collective action. LL can be "authoritarian" too.
  14. Scylla Rhiadra
    What an interesting thought! I belong to a largish photography group -- not obviously as large as a group for a major brand, but still sizable. On the relatively rare occasions I post a link to one of my pics on Flickr -- and depending on the time of day, etc. -- it can result in a spike in "faves" and even "follows."
  15. Scylla Rhiadra
    Yes Mother.
  16. Scylla Rhiadra
    Well, in fairness, there is a lot of that. It's a shame that they are overlooking the legions of really dull people. Like me.
  17. Scylla Rhiadra
    @Tama Suki -- this is your thread, isn't it? Maybe you should be making some effort to keep it on topic, rather than skirmishing pointlessly? Why don't you address the possible problems that arise from not having easy access to people in SL who can assist and inform? There are a lot of bloggers out there who are providing information that would be enormously useful to noobs and others if they knew it existed: Skell Dagger comes to mind. Strawberry Singh's old blog was a terrific help to people. Currently, the lack of easily-accessed, well-known sources of information means that noobs aren't receiving the kinds of assistance they could. And even those who've been around a while are missing out: I have a friend who has been in SL over a decade who is looking for a new mesh head, and who was unaware that LeLutka had a freebie one available before Christmas. There are negatives to the lack of "influencers" as well as positives. Can you think of a system that we might implement that would avoid the pitfalls, but enable the positives?
  18. Scylla Rhiadra
    Can we get something like this that works for forum posters? I can name one or two I'd like to see gagged.
  19. Scylla Rhiadra
    Actually, before it got derailed with a rather odd digression on GIFs and memes, this was a potentially sort of interesting discussion. As someone above noted, SL was created before social media really took off, so it lacks tools that would be pretty much obligatory in any new social platform. Avatars United was an abortive attempt to rectify that, as was MySecondLife, both of which failed (although the latter had a brief time when it was used, and is still sort of active) because neither was properly integrated into our in-world experiences. One of the results of that is that, yes, there really aren't many "influencers" in Second Life. There are some who achieved a degree of "celebrity," such as Torley and Strawberry Linden (nee Singh). And for a time, Prok's blog had a relatively important currency. But none of these, or any others, have the really broad reach and influence that a true social media "influencer" does. There really are no platforms or affordances to achieve that. These forums attract a tiny percentage of the in-world population: however well-known one is here, it really doesn't translate well into an in-world setting. In one sense, it's a shame that we don't have tools to connect with and communicate to a really broad selection of SL's residents. On the whole, though, this seems to me a good thing, and far more democratic (and less celebrity-driven) than other social platforms.
  20. Scylla Rhiadra
    Love ya Bree. But is it really necessary to rehearse and reinforce this kind of cartoonish gender stereotype? I'm really not seeing your point.
  21. Scylla Rhiadra
    Because. They. HURT. Duh.
  22. Scylla Rhiadra
    Astonishing! @LittleMe Jewell -- you have an older flexi gown a bit like this, don't you? What was the complexity?
  23. Scylla Rhiadra
    YES! I know a fair number -- but I would: I run two feminist groups in SL. YES! THANK YOU! Which is, actually, most generally the case also in RL. Yes!
  24. Scylla Rhiadra
    Right. So you really are saying that there is no difference between a biological male choosing a female avatar in SL, and a transgender woman. And that, by extension, trans women are reinforcing sexist stereotypes. Glad we've got you on record on that subject. Yes. It is all too common in SL. And yes it is a kind of violence. But a trans woman is not a man who "dresses up as a woman." My god, Prok. Seriously. When have I ever said anything even remotely like this?
  25. Scylla Rhiadra
    You're kind of making my point for me. Broader social attitudes tend to drive not merely research interests generally, but, especially in the social sciences, tend also to load the dice one way or another in terms of expected results. And exactly the same was true of the earlier research -- and believe me, I've read a lot of it -- that did find a correlation between video games and attitudes towards violence. It was very much a part of the general moral panic that accompanied the explosion of both the internet and gaming in that era.
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