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Scylla Rhiadra

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Everything posted by Scylla Rhiadra

  1. Scylla Rhiadra
    Sure. I think both of these things can be true.
  2. Scylla Rhiadra
    I think in practice gaslighting tends to be done by men to women, in large measure because it involves the assumption of a kind of "authority" upon which men can more "naturally" call in our still-gendered culture. Women, on the other hand, still tend to be characterized as more "emotional" and "fickle," and so seem more likely to misread on the basis of their emotional responses to things. But I don't think there is anything necessarily gendered about gaslighting per se. I can't see any reason why a very self-confident women couldn't do it to an insecure man. But one thing that hasn't been discussed here extensively is the relationship of griefing or trolling to power and control more generally.
  3. Scylla Rhiadra
    You might recall that when I was doing this project I did something like this, and posted about in My Avatar: I wanted to use a male teen or late prepubescent to represent Viola from Twelfth Night, as would have been the case on Shakespeare's stage. It was complicated by the fact that Viola spends most of the play disguised as . . . a young boy.
  4. Scylla Rhiadra
    I gave some thought to this possibility, but as I really only needed the silhouette or shadow of a child, it didn't seem either worthwhile, nor indeed courteous to any potential models to ask them. It's also a rather dark image (it's about loss), and might have been upsetting. https://flic.kr/p/2pTT6RM Should I do a shot in the future that involves a more detailed and focused role for a child, I'll certainly consider that idea again, though.
  5. Scylla Rhiadra
    Oh, interesting! In my text for my interpretation of Ophelia for my Shakespeare's Women exhibition last year, I said this about her (the image was entitled "The More Deceived"): I'd call that "gaslighting." Personally, I've always thought Hamlet was a major POS.
  6. Scylla Rhiadra
    Lovely avi, lovely picture!
  7. Scylla Rhiadra
    I'm buying a child avatar. For a pic -- it's got nothing to do with the current kerfuffle. My peeve is that if I wanted to do this "properly" and in a way that will allow me to conform to the new rules that come in effect in a month, I'd have to spend waaaay more time and money than I want to, especially just for what will likely only be a single photo. So instead I'm buying a cheap throw-away all-in-one that will, along with pretty much all of the others I saw on the MP, become unusable by the end of next month.
  8. Scylla Rhiadra
    Ugh. I'm so sorry to hear that. 😔 I've been lucky, I guess. I've met scores of forumites in-world over the years -- many, but by no means all of them through the old Forum Cartel group here. I've bumped into many by accident, but most of the meet-ups were purposeful and deliberate, so I guess I got to "pick and choose" the ones I wanted to meet for the most part. A lot of them are good friends now. In fact, I met my best friend in SL here about 15 years ago. I hope you have better luck in the future!
  9. Scylla Rhiadra
    Congrats on redefining virtually any disagreement between two people as "gaslighting," thereby rendering what is actually a fairly useful term utterly meaningless.
  10. Scylla Rhiadra
    This assumes though that the definition of griefing is determined by the ToS. I'm not sure I'd agree.
  11. Scylla Rhiadra
    I think you sometimes are a troll here, but not in this particular instance. I'm sure that will happen one day. I promise I'll be gentle. 😏
  12. Scylla Rhiadra
    The key to that definition, which is fairly close to how I'd define it, is this part: In other words, not merely disagreeing, but trying to convince the other person that their actual understanding is irrational and dysfunctional. A classic example would be someone asking a woman with whom he disagreed whether she was PMS. Another might be insisting that an opponent was simply imagining something that they can remember happening. I'm not sure how this applies.
  13. Scylla Rhiadra
    Scylla has been asking you a simple question. If I take you out for a beer afterwards, will it be ok?
  14. Scylla Rhiadra
    Like defining it as "gaslighting," for instance?
  15. Scylla Rhiadra
    I'm perfectly chill, BJ. I didn't suggest you were out traumatizing people -- the words I used were "annoying" and "discomforting." That said, how "harmless" this "fun" is, is likely a bit subjective. You've decided, sort of unilaterally and without consulting the feelings of your targets, that it's "harmless." I'm assuming your aren't polling them first ("How, would it be ok if I cage you for a bit?") -- so you can't really know whether they will enjoy it or not until after you've done it, correct? You really don't get to decide how they "should feel" about it. My initial post, however, was really quite genuine, and I'd love to hear a response. Why do you find actions that are quite likely, and maybe even intended, to cause annoyance, irritation, or upset "fun"? What is it about targeting others in ways that they might not choose to be targeted that appeals to you?
  16. Scylla Rhiadra
    The former knows what the word "gaslighting" actually means. Which apparently you don't.
  17. Scylla Rhiadra
    Of course! I'm eagerly emulating BJ in every way possible! Except I'm going to use a battery of surface-to-surface missiles instead of bees to have fun with visitors to my public park. A little showy, maybe, but it'll make for better pictures!
  18. Scylla Rhiadra
    Huh. I have my suspicions about where that one would have gone, had you allowed him access . . . but maybe I just possess a lurid and suspicious mind, and he really just needed to pee?
  19. Scylla Rhiadra
    I made no "allegations." I described your own behaviour as you yourself laid it out in a thread you yourself started, and in which you yourself asserted that "The only reason I have wasps to chase away visitors is because I thought it would be amusing to have wasps chase away visitors." And I asked a question which you appear to be unwilling to answer. That is of course your right. ta ta!
  20. Scylla Rhiadra
    Oh, undoubtedly. I had no idea I was so transparent. Sooo . . . no answer then? Ok. That's sort of an answer actually. 🙂
  21. Scylla Rhiadra
    Don't be disingenuous. That was not the case initially, as you very well know. And at that time, the parcel with the bees in it was described in the land profile as a "Natural Area for everyone to enjoy." Indeed, you started an entire (and deliberately provocative) thread to ask if it should be considered griefing -- which given that you were explicitly telling people they could visit, and then attacking them, without warning, with a swarm of bees when they did, I'd have to say was the case. In any case, you're not answering my question. Whether you wander around victimizing noobs on a 24/7 basis or not, you clearly find it a hoot to annoy or discomfort people. You also enjoy creating deliberately stirring up drama here. Why?
  22. Scylla Rhiadra
    Just out of curiosity, and for the insight it might provide into the mindset of a troll or griefers . . . how is it that so much of your idea of "fun" seems to rely upon being annoying or disruptive to other people? I'm remembering too the bees with which you used to (and maybe still do?) ambush visitors whom you'd explicitly invited to visit with your parcel description. I'm not getting the appeal myself.
  23. Scylla Rhiadra
    No, possibly not, although I'd say that possibly half of those with whom I've spoken have been in character when they spoke to me. ETA: I don't know, with the exception of a child avatar whom I knew quite well in my early days in SL, that I've ever been IMed by a kid in SL. My communications have always been in open, I think. (My friend from my early days was in and out of character very quickly and easily -- and her RP was often very ironic, funny, and deliberately winking, so it never felt weird to me.) I remember one instance while shopping, I ran across two young girls -- representing, I'd guess, something in the 8 to 10 years old range. Their avis were wonderful, and they were clearly having a lot of fun with each other in character. I complimented them in local on how really adorable they looked (their RP was also, I thought, pretty good although I didn't say so), and they responded in character. Which was fine and totally understandable -- I was the one who had initiated the contact, and I knew they were RPing when I did so, so the onus was on me. But I really couldn't continue the conversation because, honestly, I just don't know how to respond to that. Anyway, it's just awkward for me -- and the more so because I don't want them thinking that I am being rude.
  24. Scylla Rhiadra
    I'm sorry, I should have been somewhat clearer about how I DO respond to child avatars who RP when talking to me. The answer, in addition to "awkwardly," is that I tend to talk to them "normally," without RPing back. In-world (as opposed to these forums), I don't "ignore" people ever, except in cases of extreme and repeated obnoxious behaviour. I'd never simply ignore a child avatar speaking to me, even if it were in RP. Yes. I hope that this is always how I respond to people. I guess this may be the crux of my question; I'd generally tend not to actually say something like "I'm sorry, I'm not comfortable engaging in roleplay, but will respond as I would OOC." In other words, I wouldn't acknowledge that they'd spoken in character. Instead, I'll just . . . answer them normally. But maybe it might be better if I explained why? It is, and thank you.
  25. Scylla Rhiadra
    This in some ways is just an extension of what Love asked on the previous page about role play, but I'll ask anyway. I will admit to often feeling a little uncomfortable around child avatars -- not because I'm "creeped out" or anything like that, but because I really don't enjoy, and am cringingly bad at, role play. I can generally adjust quickly and easily to a child avi who is clearly not role playing as a child, but speaks to me as an adult, but I have problems responding to one who is representing anything younger than about 16 or so, because I simply don't know how to communicate to them, and really can't bring myself to addressing them as though they were a child. So, what's the accepted protocol on this, or is there one? I'm sure that everyone representing as a child avi has their own particular take, but is there a sort of generally agreed-upon response to someone like myself who, despite having good intentions, would rather draw out her fingernails than address a child avi as though she were 8 years old? Is there a simple or understand response that communicates that, while I respect their right to role play, I won't be drawn into it myself?
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