KellyFitz10 Posted September 28, 2011 Share Posted September 28, 2011 I've only been using second life for a little while now (about a month), but I have found how easy it is to make friends on here. But is anyone else feeling like bc maybe you made your avatar a better version of you (like i did), that you cant live up to the standards you created for yourself? Like it's kind of depressing knowing I've made all these male suitors on SL, but it's never going to happen offline, IRL? If yes, can you tell me what you did to stop the problem? Like it's kinda depressing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peggy Paperdoll Posted September 28, 2011 Share Posted September 28, 2011 Don't take SL so seriously. It's a virtual world, a make believe reality..........keep it that way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stella Carver Posted September 28, 2011 Share Posted September 28, 2011 It is funny to see how differently people respond when you can control your outward appearance as easily as we can in SL. I wouldn't say it's depressing, but I do sometimes look at my av and envy her legs or her wardrobe. I don't envy her the IM's for teh sexxors from random drooling strangers though. I don't think my av's appearance matters to anyone on my friends list though, so in the longrun, it's what's behind your av that really appeals to others. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ishtara Rothschild Posted September 28, 2011 Share Posted September 28, 2011 KellyFitz10 wrote: If yes, can you tell me what you did to stop the problem? I'm afraid one can't do anything about that. Just live a happy second life. Or settle for less in RL. Many lonely and desperate people out there. ETA: What can really build self-esteem is to publish an X-rated video on a site like XTube and watch the comments rolling in. You'll be amazed how many compliments you get. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Void Singer Posted September 28, 2011 Share Posted September 28, 2011 sure, there's an easy solution to to dealing with RL not living up to SL expectations.... simply make your avatar less attractive than the RL you... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jesica Dragovar Posted September 28, 2011 Share Posted September 28, 2011 stop and think that everyone you make friends with is doing the exact same thing, then try not to worry about it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Madelaine McMasters Posted September 28, 2011 Share Posted September 28, 2011 Void Singer wrote: sure, there's an easy solution to to dealing with RL not living up to SL expectations.... simply make your avatar less attractive than the RL you... I wonder if even this is enough. What if SL's population is more desirous of meeting others than the RL general population? If you socialize SL, but not RL, I'd expect the results to be skewed even if the avatars weren't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Void Singer Posted September 28, 2011 Share Posted September 28, 2011 I was just focusing on the OP's immediate problem Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carole Franizzi Posted September 28, 2011 Share Posted September 28, 2011 KellyFitz10 wrote: I've only been using second life for a little while now (about a month), but I have found how easy it is to make friends on here. But is anyone else feeling like bc maybe you made your avatar a better version of you (like i did), that you cant live up to the standards you created for yourself? Like it's kind of depressing knowing I've made all these male suitors on SL, but it's never going to happen offline, IRL? If yes, can you tell me what you did to stop the problem? Like it's kinda depressing. Make your avatar really revolting, then when you log out and look in the mirror, you'll think, "Well, hello there, hottie!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kylie Jaxxon Posted September 28, 2011 Share Posted September 28, 2011 Carole Franizzi wrote: KellyFitz10 wrote: I've only been using second life for a little while now (about a month), but I have found how easy it is to make friends on here. But is anyone else feeling like bc maybe you made your avatar a better version of you (like i did), that you cant live up to the standards you created for yourself? Like it's kind of depressing knowing I've made all these male suitors on SL, but it's never going to happen offline, IRL? If yes, can you tell me what you did to stop the problem? Like it's kinda depressing. Make your avatar really revolting, then when you log out and look in the mirror, you'll think, "Well, hello there, hottie!" ROFL, Carole!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eloise Baily Posted September 28, 2011 Share Posted September 28, 2011 Carole....*smiley sigh*. I am a barbie in SL. A stylish, always in white one though I'll have you know! I do find the whole looks thing funny though. I have been asked not to wear wings, because...why are you wearing wings? Ermmm....why not? Who wouldn't want super-pretty working wings? DUH! Obviously, Carole fell through the fugly tree onto a bed of nails, but she is still beautiful. SL is a deceitful and hurt inducing weapon of choice as a dating site. There are too many ways not to be yourself. That's the idea. It's a SECOND life, not an extension of the first. People roleplay romance here. They lie about themselves, they have five husbands/wives and none of them know about the others....I could go on. Use plentyoffish or something to find a kindred spirit and treat SL for what it is. A creative playground and a really good laugh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jesica Dragovar Posted September 28, 2011 Share Posted September 28, 2011 I'm one of those wierdos that tries to make SL me look like RL me, a more stylized and idealized version sure but basically those who see my RL pic say "you look like your avatar" so I don't really feel the 'jealous of my avatar' thing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carole Franizzi Posted September 28, 2011 Share Posted September 28, 2011 Kylie Jaxxon wrote: Carole Franizzi wrote: KellyFitz10 wrote: I've only been using second life for a little while now (about a month), but I have found how easy it is to make friends on here. But is anyone else feeling like bc maybe you made your avatar a better version of you (like i did), that you cant live up to the standards you created for yourself? Like it's kind of depressing knowing I've made all these male suitors on SL, but it's never going to happen offline, IRL? If yes, can you tell me what you did to stop the problem? Like it's kinda depressing. Make your avatar really revolting, then when you log out and look in the mirror, you'll think, "Well, hello there, hottie!" ROFL, Carole!!! recent photo of me in RL: :matte-motes-kiss: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carole Franizzi Posted September 28, 2011 Share Posted September 28, 2011 What she said. Except the falsities about fugly trees, obviously. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eloise Baily Posted September 28, 2011 Share Posted September 28, 2011 Falsities....yer rite! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UncommonTruth Posted September 29, 2011 Share Posted September 29, 2011 Most of the perception people will have of you in RL (and to an extent internet life as well) isn't even about your looks. Its confidence, the way you carry yourself, interact with people. Your statement that it will never happen in RL is a self fulfilling prophecy. I'm no super model in real, most of us aren't, but I've never had a shortage of willing males lol. (ok, that didn't sound right, but can't think of a way that does, so oh well) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oryion Posted September 29, 2011 Share Posted September 29, 2011 Just lately I've been feeling the exact same thing. I realised it might be developing into an unhealthy issue just a week ago when I caught myself in the mirror and was mildly surprised my avatar wasn't looking back at me! I pondered this for a while and even took a step back from SL to try and figure out the psychology here. In RL, I'm not fugly but I'm certainly nothing special and I struggle to feel attractive at the best of times. However, my avatar seems to have developed into a sleek, sexy temptress over the months and when I really give it some thought, it makes sense that she looks how I want to look. She dresses how I would never dare dress in RL and she's cheeky and provocative in chat in a way that makes me squirm at the thought of being in RL. Having said all of that, she did help me to realise a few home-truths about myself. If this is the 'ideal me' then why not imitate it if I'm obviously not 100% happy with the way I am now? On that note, I've started wearing little skirts like my avatar and popping on more makeup when I go out, and I even flirt a bit more and it's actually boosted my confidence to the point where I pulled at the weekend I'm not gonna kiss and tell but I do have SL to thank for that! I think it's all in the way you look at it - you can look at your avatar and get upset that SL isn't RL, or you can swing it around and pop a little SL into your RL! Remember, men dig confidence for the best part, put a Barbie lookalike in front of them and most would turn it down Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jo Yardley Posted September 29, 2011 Share Posted September 29, 2011 My avatar also looks like RL me, so no issues there. I get annoyed when I play other games and only get to play with boring models and barbie like avatars. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eloise Baily Posted September 29, 2011 Share Posted September 29, 2011 I may be Barbie, but I try not to be boring Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Venus Petrov Posted September 29, 2011 Share Posted September 29, 2011 'Be' in SL as you wish. Enjoy your environment. Eventually you may feel like learning something: building, photography, landscaping...whatever suits your creative juices. One month is a short time. Be patient with yourself. Chances are some of those you are meeting bear little resemblance to their RL selves, and so what? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ian Undercroft Posted September 29, 2011 Share Posted September 29, 2011 If you feel "fake" you could always consider posting a RL pic in your profile and/or describing your RL self in your profile. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eloise Baily Posted September 29, 2011 Share Posted September 29, 2011 You know what Ian..I'm going to do just that. Dunno why I haven't before tbh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kylie Jaxxon Posted September 29, 2011 Share Posted September 29, 2011 UncommonTruth wrote: Most of the perception people will have of you in RL (and to an extent internet life as well) isn't even about your looks. Its confidence, the way you carry yourself, interact with people. Your statement that it will never happen in RL is a self fulfilling prophecy. I'm no super model in real, most of us aren't, but I've never had a shortage of willing males lol. (ok, that didn't sound right, but can't think of a way that does, so oh well) Lol, yes ^ this ^ :smileytongue: I've done okay for myself Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kylie Jaxxon Posted September 29, 2011 Share Posted September 29, 2011 Eloise Baily wrote: There are too many ways not to be yourself. That's the idea. It's a SECOND life, not an extension of the first. People roleplay romance here. They lie about themselves, they have five husbands/wives and none of them know about the others... Not to all of us, Eloise...I am the same here as I am in RL, in character, personality (well, except that I'm a little older than my avatar It's not a second life to me, I don't pretend to be something I'm not or roleplay. For me, it is an extension of socialization of my first life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jo Yardley Posted September 29, 2011 Share Posted September 29, 2011 Same here, my avatar is me. Same look, same behaviour, etc. Anything I do here, I also do in RL. Except for the living in 1929 bit, in RL I live in 1939. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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