Why is there a lot of disagreeable people on this board? (And by extension, other boards related to SL?)

[Luna Bliss]

8 minutes ago, BilliJo Aldrin said:

They really should have listened to their mothers... oh honey they are just teasing you because they like you.😁

Well, it's difficult to tell on a forum whether someone is dismissing someone else's feelings (disrespecting them) or just teasing for fun. When I posted the tiny violin after you expressed not liking others realizing you'd been teasing, you knew I was just teasing you...maybe because I've teased you before instead of disparaging you frequently.

Edited May 2 by Luna Bliss

[Arielle Popstar]

Just now, Luna Bliss said:

I've known people who simply got involved in something they love, went after it with a passion, and the desire for anything destructive simply floated away.

Yep we qualify those as heavy users/drinkers who though having the appearance of an addict/alcoholic can with sufficient  reason give up or quit without too much trouble. The real alcoholic however will not be able to.

[Luna Bliss]

1 minute ago, Arielle Popstar said:

4 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said:

I've known people who simply got involved in something they love, went after it with a passion, and the desire for anything destructive simply floated away.

Yep we qualify those as heavy users/drinkers who though having the appearance of an addict/alcoholic can with sufficient  reason give up or quit without too much trouble. The real alcoholic however will not be able to.

No, one was a bonafied  alcoholic and the other a heroin addict.  Your way is not the only way, but I'm glad what you did worked for you.

[Arielle Popstar]

2 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said:

No, one was a bonafied  alcoholic and the other a heroin addict.  Your way is not the only way, but I'm glad what you did worked for you.

Lot of people out there that would pay good money get access to a legit test to determine whether they were bonafied alcoholic or not!

[BilliJo Aldrin]

5 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said:

Well, it's difficult to tell on a forum whether someone is dismissing someone else's feelings (disrespecting them) or just teasing for fun. When I posted the tiny violin after you expressed not liking others realizing you'd been teasing, you knew I was just teasing you...maybe because I've teased you before instead of disparaging you frequently.

To be honest, the post i referenced wasn't teasing, it was using humor to insult the person.

In my opinion that is much nicer than calling them names, or being blatantly hurtful.

Everyone has a laugh.. no harm no foul... until someone calls a mod

[Dafadilia Wayfarer]

1 hour ago, Cinnamon Mistwood said:

Oh, fudge, the number of times I have said something really stupid here in the forums- prone to error is an understatement.  I've said mean things, too, and even tried to justify them.  

I'm sure most of us have crossed a line at some point.

I think it is easy for people to forget at the end of the day we are all human. We all have bad days where it is easy to act out a bit or react a way to something that is not in character. I've gotten what I consider aggressive at times on the bad days with topics I'm very opininated about. At least what I consider aggressive for me. So much so that after I've posted it, I cringe at myself. I also at that point make myself take time away from the forums.

I've never seen you get mean here. I have seen you get sarcastic (or at least that is how I read things), but that isn't being mean. You are always pretty level headed, kind and patient with others here from what I have seen.

[BilliJo Aldrin]

18 hours ago, ValKalAstra said:

It always felt like this forum is a place of old grudges. People that butted heads in the past, got told to stop but can't help but keep going at it. This leads to these weird discussions where the topic is something innocuous yet some folks tear into each other any way they can get away with.

Once you see those ancient battle lines, a lot of the random as hell seeming escalation and vitriol will make more sense. That and there's some folks that love provoking others into stepping over the line so they can drop a report on them.

Very true, I have taken the bait several times, and paid the price.

Someone once posted a picture in here of a stuffed bunny holding a carrot climbing into a pot on the stove. It was someone's way of saying "BJ, chill, this won't end well if you don't back down".

I really appreciated that. 😁

[Luna Bliss]

5 minutes ago, BilliJo Aldrin said:

To be honest, the post i referenced wasn't teasing, it was using humor to insult the person.

In my opinion that is much nicer than calling them names, or being blatantly hurtful.

Everyone has a laugh.. no harm no foul... until someone calls a mod

Yes, perhaps I should report all the ways people sneakily insult others here, but I don't want to bother the mods, and they're hard to prove anyway because they're disguised. So I guess the choice is to not insult, even as a joke, or if you must insult, do so sneakily.

[BilliJo Aldrin]

1 minute ago, Luna Bliss said:

Yes, perhaps I should report all the ways people sneakily insult others here, but I don't want to bother the mods, and they're hard to prove anyway because they're disguised. So I guess the choice is to not insult, even as a joke, or if you must insult, do so sneakily.

I often report posts i feel are an attack on me, it's been done to me often enough, so fair is fair

[Love Zhaoying]

2 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said:

Yes, perhaps I should report all the ways people sneakily insult others here, but I don't want to bother the mods, and they're hard to prove anyway because they're disguised. So I guess the choice is to not insult, even as a joke, or if you must insult, do so sneakily.

I'm working on a new thread about "how to be nice" to bullies, disagreeable people, etc. in Second Life! I've come up with lots of positive, creative ideas so far. One catch is that you have to be sincere!

[Luna Bliss]

2 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said:

'm working on a new thread about "how to be nice" to bullies, disagreeable people, etc. in Second Life! I've come up with lots of positive, creative ideas so far. One catch is that you have to be sincere!

That is a catch -- how do we determine if somebody is sincere?

[Persephone Emerald]

1 hour ago, Love Zhaoying said:

.

You make a good point in this post.

[Love Zhaoying]

1 hour ago, Cinnamon Mistwood said:

Sometimes my meanness is subtle, but I knew it came from an unkind place.  Still, thank you.

Mean people are just average. Terrible people are outliers. Statistically speaking, for both.

[Love Zhaoying]

1 minute ago, Persephone Emerald said:

You make a good point in this post.

Somehow I quoted a post in Pet Peeves to post there, but the quote landed here! That was a first, AFAIK.

[BilliJo Aldrin]

2 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said:

That is a catch -- how do we determine if somebody is sincere?

Well, that's one thread I'm not gonna post in. 😂

[Luna Bliss]

17 minutes ago, Arielle Popstar said:

22 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said:

No, one was a bonafied  alcoholic and the other a heroin addict.  Your way is not the only way, but I'm glad what you did worked for you.

Lot of people out there that would pay good money get access to a legit test to determine whether they were bonafied alcoholic or not!

lol well I was using it as an expression.  There is no test.

All I can say is that they were drinking themselves to death (drunk every day) and in a non-functional state most of the time.

[Love Zhaoying]

3 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said:

That is a catch -- how do we determine if somebody is sincere?

It's nobody's job to determine it; it's the responsibility of the person who is "being nice". Ultimately, if someone doesn't believe you, either 1) it's on them, or 2) perhaps you did not choose your words carefully enough. It's tricky, as true sincerity can be mistaken for sarcasm. 

[Love Zhaoying]

6 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said:

25 minutes ago, Arielle Popstar said:

30 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said:

No, one was a bonafied  alcoholic and the other a heroin addict.  Your way is not the only way, but I'm glad what you did worked for you.

Lot of people out there that would pay good money get access to a legit test to determine whether they were bonafied alcoholic or not!

lol well I was using it as an expression.  There is no test.

All I can say is that they were drinking themselves to death (drunk every day) and in a non-functional state most of the time.

I hate to ask, how did "we" get on this topic? It's caused trouble in the recent past!

[Kathlen Onyx]

44 minutes ago, Arielle Popstar said:

No semantics about it, surrender is the basic premise. Without it one doesn't even surrender to the idea they are alcoholic and that their life has become unmanageable. As long as one thinks they have a smidgeon of power to resist the first drink, they would not surrender to the need for the rest of the Steps to the degree necessary. Maybe one could find a different program that works as you envision but I haven't heard of one that was successful though that's not to say there isn't one.

THIS ^^^^^

[Persephone Emerald]

1 hour ago, Luna Bliss said:

my fellow forumites

travelers on this path of life

suspended 'twixt the real and the unreal

converging on a blended precipice of confusion

........to be continued

Maybe we should start a poetry thread?

[Arielle Popstar]

12 minutes ago, BilliJo Aldrin said:

I often report posts i feel are an attack on me, it's been done to me often enough, so fair is fair

I have only reported one person and she knows I did because I told her. We have reasonably civil conversations today though we can still disagree on things pretty hard. I defended myself against another reporter which resulted in a time out for both us. Other then I won't back down from posting but I do take care not to be personal unless if they do first. That can be dangerous but some people only can debate by being personal.

[Love Zhaoying]

3 minutes ago, Persephone Emerald said:

Maybe we should start a poetry thread?

Good idea!

[Arielle Popstar]

9 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said:

I hate to ask, how did "we" get on this topic? It's caused trouble in the recent past!

Don't ask 😄

[BilliJo Aldrin]

7 minutes ago, Persephone Emerald said:

Maybe we should start a poetry thread?

I vote for limericks, except mine will probably be insulting (in a humorous sort of way),  and I'll get reported

[Persephone Emerald]

1 minute ago, BilliJo Aldrin said:

I vote for limericks, except mine will probably be insulting (in a humorous sort of way),  and I'll get reported

If we're gonna post limericks, we might have put the thread in the Adult section.