Coming to Accept "Different" people in Second Life

[Rat Luv]

1 minute ago, Love Zhaoying said:

Ahah! They were possibly "punks" by the classic definition:

INFORMAL•NORTH AMERICAN

2. a worthless person (often used as a general term of abuse).

"you think any of these punks they got fighting today could stand up to Joe Louis?"

Oh, some of them were really nice...it was just a minority that used to slag everything off and made it feel like being at school again 

[Love Zhaoying]

6 minutes ago, Rat Luv said:

Oh, some of them were really nice...it was just a minority that used to slag everything off and made it feel like being at school again 

Sorry, "worthless" seems harsh, but it's the kind of thing an old-timer may have said about a "punk" who complained / whined. (As your really nice "punk" friends were doing.)

 

[Ayashe Ninetails]

2 hours ago, Rat Luv said:

I'm not sure! Maybe they were really classical fans, RPing 

Lol, the reason I asked is they sound rather young (really, ranting about wings and vampires?) and your run-of-the-mill average punk would be like...50 or 60+ years old by now. 😂 They're chilling over on Reddit comparing their prescription meds (no, seriously!).

Okay okay, not all of them and of course there are plenty of younger members of the punk scene, but man, even back in the early 2000s, some of those guys had yearsssss on me. If the younger gen carrying the torch are finding themselves that bothered by such silly little things, the OGs are going to be rather upset! That is a difference I'm not sure they'll accept. 👀😆

[Love Zhaoying]

Just now, Ayashe Ninetails said:

Lol, the reason I asked is they sound rather young (really, ranting about wings and vampires?) and your run-of-the-mill average punk would be like...50 or 60+ years old by now. 😂 They're chilling over on Reddit comparing their prescription meds (no, seriously!).

Okay okay, not all of them and of course there are plenty of younger members of the punk scene, but man, even back in the early 2000s, some of those guys had yearsssss on me. If the younger gen carrying the torch are finding themselves that bothered by such silly little things, the OGs are going to be rather upset! That is a difference I'm not sure they'll accept. 👀😆

Maybe they sound more like Goths? Moaning over everything that's not Goth?

[Ayashe Ninetails]

2 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said:

Maybe they sound more like Goths? Moaning over everything that's not Goth?

Not at all. I can't say I've ever heard or seen goths behave that way either (especially not about vampires - that wouldn't even make any sense, lol). Also, that's another crowd that skews a bit older in general.

My guess is the SL alternative scenes are just attracting a younger audience who mayyyyybe aren't spending a whole lot of time in the actual scenes offline. Not that it matters, but it would explain why SL's industrial music scene never appealed to me much as someone who once spent 5-6 nights a week in real goth/industrial clubs. The two crowds did feel a bit different now that I think about it.

[Love Zhaoying]

1 minute ago, Ayashe Ninetails said:

I can't say I've ever heard or seen goths behave that way either (especially not about vampires - that wouldn't even make any sense, lol).

Now that I see it, Lydia just being Goth in this scene, not "complaining"!

"I am alone."

"I am utterly alone."

[Rick Nightingale]

32 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said:

"I am alone."

Wow - a Beetlejuice reference. I'm impressed!

Beetlejuice...

[Love Zhaoying]

7 minutes ago, Rick Nightingale said:

40 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said:

"I am alone."

Wow - a Beetlejuice reference. I'm impressed!

Beetlejuice...

I was going to post the Youtube video clip, but it was titled "Suicide Note".  Nobody needs to see that in their Forum feed.

[Cinnamon Mistwood]

1 hour ago, Ayashe Ninetails said:

your run-of-the-mill average punk would be like...50 or 60+ years old by now. 😂 They're chilling over on Reddit comparing their prescription meds (no, seriously!).

What?!?!  I'll have you know that I am not on any meds and any aches and pains are just a part of going to work each day and getting bit, scratched, or knocked into a wall.  (mosh pits at their best)

Also, I have no chill.

I have no idea where punks hang out in SL, so if you know somewhere with some good music, let the rest of us know.

 

[Love Zhaoying]

Just now, Cinnamon Mistwood said:

Also, I have no chill.

Is code for "currently having hot flashes"! 

[Cinnamon Mistwood]

11 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said:

Is code for "currently having hot flashes"! 

Code for:  I vibrate with energy and can't sit still for long.

 

[Ayashe Ninetails]

11 minutes ago, Cinnamon Mistwood said:

What?!?!  I'll have you know that I am not on any meds and any aches and pains are just a part of going to work each day and getting bit, scratched, or knocked into a wall.  (mosh pits at their best)

Also, I have no chill.

I have no idea where punks hang out in SL, so if you know somewhere with some good music, let the rest of us know.

Lol, no really! There's a thread from about a year ago for older punks on r/punk and it's a fun read in general. Best quote I saw:

"only 31 but i find it funny that me and many of my friends who grew up in the punk scene are now wearing new balances. punk's not dead, it just needs better arch support."

Man, that's a mood. 😂

As far as where punks are hanging out and music in SL goes, I haven't found anything good, but I'm looking in an entirely different set of categories - industrial, power noise, minimal dubstep, grime, drill, breakcore, etc. I've only managed to find some goth/industrial, and that crowd felt very different from what I'm used to (same music, different vibes), so I never got too deep into it.

[Love Zhaoying]

1 minute ago, Ayashe Ninetails said:

power noise

Ow, my ears! At least you didn't include Acid House.

 

[Rat Luv]

2 hours ago, Love Zhaoying said:

Maybe they sound more like Goths? Moaning over everything that's not Goth?

I don't think I ever met a moaning goth, to be fair! 

36 minutes ago, Ayashe Ninetails said:

grime

I think I hosted SL's only ever grime night  Three people turned up 

[Ayashe Ninetails]

6 minutes ago, Rat Luv said:

I think I hosted SL's only ever grime night  Three people turned up 

Nuuuuuuuuuuu, that's pretty much what I suspected, though, to be fair. Big scene outside of SL, crickets inside. Similar to most of the music I listen to.

Skepta would not be pleased! 

This does kind of make me wonder just how *different* people really are in SL, though. At least musically. You might be the only other person I know here who is into grime and noise... 👀 Industrial's somewhat rare-ish, industrial rock even more. Dubstep (Kryptic Minds flavor, not Skrillex) not much of a thing... not heard any Venetian Snares in any clubs in...ever... goodness knows I'll never find any Marwan Moussa but I admit that's a bit out there...

HRRMMM... 👀👀

[Arielle Popstar]

On 4/14/2024 at 9:43 AM, Rick Nightingale said:

On a serious (-ish, as always) note, being autistic perhaps gives me a slightly different take on the topic. Almost everyone I've ever encountered, RL and SL, feels very different to me. Of course, it's me who's very much the different one. Figuring out what other people are actually like is difficult. I miss out on practically all the 'social interaction' part... facial expressions (obviously RL only) are a complete mystery to me, and apparently my own are frequently misinterpreted from what I'm actually thinking, or so I'm told. Verbal/written too though; the way people 'play' with each other with words... I can rarely tell if people love or hate each other. It's why I don't get involved much in the forum. You'll rarely find me being cheeky, using sarcasm, etc, in normal conversation simply because I have no clue if or when it's appropriate and if someone uses such things on me, I'm left completely guessing the intent. I've little to no clue. The few times I have tried to use such things (in a way meant to be friendly), I've mostly got it wrong judging from the reactions so I've learned not to try. Even using a nickname or shortened name for someone baffles me, even when others are using one; I never know if it's appropriate for me to.

It might be worth noting that I wasn't diagnosed with autism as a child so I never got any help to learn about it all. Instead I was regularly punished, and caned a good few times, at school for being 'different'. I wasn't badly behaved at all, I just literally had no understanding what was even going on. It's only as a much older adult that I eventually decided there was something wrong with me, after spending a lifetime trying to 'learn' how to be 'normal' and hiding the fact that I was in total confusion all the time. I got good at that last bit, at least. Talk about wearing a mask! I've lived trying to follow a set of instructions for one thing, when I'm something else. The realisation was finally triggered by trying to get a job that I was really excited about, passed all the technical skill tests for first time (which most people, even ones from relevant backgrounds, failed) but eventually failed at during a week-long field exercise on simple, people-related stuff that everyone else just took for granted. Even my inducting officer was confused. I fought with the NHS to see a specialist who easily confirmed autism, but too late for the knowledge to really be of any help to me in life.

As to accepting that people are different then, I really have little choice but I always have accepted it, even as a child long before I knew I was mostly the different one. I recall sitting in a church at about nine years old; my parents were obsessively religious and dragged me along (sometimes literally!) until I was old enough to vote with my feet. The minister was going on about 'sexual deviants' and everyone in the 'audience' was making agreeing noises. By that, he meant anyone not 100% heterosexual and presumably only interested in the missionary position. Even as a 9yo back then, brought up in such an environment and not in any way 'sexually different' myself, I thought it was a load of rubbish and that he had no right to decide how others should or shouldn't live.

So, I don't just 'accept' that people are different, I fully expect it, and enjoy it... to an extent. I say something like that in my profile; I value variety. That doesn't mean I accept (as in, will associate with) anything or anyone though. If anything, I think there is too much acceptance and tolerance of people's differences when their beliefs and behaviours have seriously detrimental effects on others (who don't deserve it), on society, and on the world as a whole. I don't accept that, and don't want anything to do with such people. The qualifier on it all, of course, is that it is all from my opinion of what is acceptable or not, detrimental or not, or deserving or not. The more I see of people though, especially with what is happening in the world right now and how a lot of people are responding (or not!) to it all, the fewer people I find I can accept. I'll never be a hypocrite.

If you live for football (English) and I hate it (I do, for 'reasons'), fine. If you get excited by being hung upside down and pleasured with a giant elephant body part, more power to you. Each to their own. If you're highly opinionated, arrogant, and think you are always right, OK. I might not agree, but that's your character and I'll probably find it more amusing to observe than offensive. But if your way to win is to insult and degrade others rather than win on your merits, that's crossing my line. If you bully others and tell them they should toughen up to take it, screw you. I'll leave the politics out, but there are some that I won't talk to (and think they should be cast into a bottomless pit, quite frankly) because I find their politics so offensive to every decent bone in my body.

While I tend to feel the same, it's always the same type of people who end up coming out on top eventually so it wouldn't change a thing in the long run. The human race needs a few more millennia of evolution to get past the 'I'm the most important person on the planet, screw the rest of you', survival of the most psychopathic phase, if we make it that long.

Before this thread gets closed due to going off-topic, I just want to thank you and @Artorius Constantine for sharing what you have here because I found it very insightful and relatable in that I saw more then a few aspects I strongly relate to even up to and including some of your history with the forced church attendance by parents who at that time didn't understand the difference between religion and being spiritual. Combined with emigrating twice before the age of 10 and the resulting culture shock of living in a new country where I had to crash course learning the language, made me ripe for not understanding the dynamics of interactions with people on a social level. 

Like you I found out I had a high level of technical aptitude but very little on a social level as it mostly confused me. I even had to study body language books in my 30's to understand how that was a form of communicating others learned naturally but I had no clue about. My more frequent involvement on this forum is more a result of pushing myself to do so in the hopes of learning how to interact even at this later stage in life. I don't do it well and i do tend to be somewhat opinionated but I feel it is better then retiring to the corner of my room thinking of all I wish I had said. I am fortunate in the respect I have support structures because of substance abuse issues I used to have and that least gives me a little more courage in being somewhat more forward even if I am not always confident that I've said the right thing in some of the circumstances presented.

I would like to say though too that although I may come across at times as aggressive and belligerent, it is because I am not reading the room right and my attitude is not one of being intentionally abusive but that it is a defensive reaction to how I sense I am being treated. We all have varying degrees of the fight or flight response in how we interact in these places and for those of us having to do so later in life are really just learning by trial and error as prompted by these "emotions" that at least I've never really learned to label properly.

Any case just want to thank you because you've prompted me to look deeper at challenges I have with social interactions to see where I could come up higher or at the very least empathize more with people I might be interacting with as they may also be suffering from some autistic tendencies like I think maybe more then just a small percentage do, at least according to the wiki I was reading earlier today. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Autism_spectrum

 

[InnerCity Elf]

I haven't (apart from maybe very general and self-evident things like "don't take yourself too seriously", "don't take it too seriously", "people are often different than you think, if meeting RL, you might like those you thought you didn't, and vice versa", or such; if anything, I'd need advise myself, I tend to overthink things), but! happy belated birthday! 🎂 🦁 

Edited April 16 by InnerCity Elf