superpeeve Oh my Gawd! - Totally unOfficial Pet Peeve Thread.

[CaerolleClaudel]

4 hours ago, brodiac90 said:

While a lot more people seem to be aware than the initial wave, I still think there is a sizeable amount of people who are ignorant of the changes, or if they've heard anything it's just the bare minimum. A lot of people never interact with child avatars so the changes are mostly inconsequential to them - they may never bother to find out. 

I'm a little happier now that Toddleedoo / Tweeneedoo have released modesty layers. In fact that should probably go in the Pet Delight thread! 

Peeve: Threads being locked before you can even read or contribute to them.

If I had not happened to (briefly) come back into SL when I did, and come look at the Forum again when I came back, I probably would never have known about it if and when I *did* come back. Then again, I have never been in a situation that would even remotely related to the new child avatar policy (or the old one, either), so there would have been no material difference either way.

[Roxy Couturier]

1 minute ago, CaerolleClaudel said:

Maybe you could get them to come to the Forum and be a different kind of fierce than Scylla and people will have to thread the needle between the two, lol.

(This is NOT a knock on Scylla, it is just that she is highly principled and stand up for those principles and values!)

I know this is a light-hearted post Caerolle, but I'm going to give a totally serious reply.

I would never subject someone to the forums. We all know there are posters that try to be cruel as the moderators will allow. If they come here on their own, fine. I won't be the one to add churn to their lives that the toxic fumes of some posters provides.

[CaerolleClaudel]

1 minute ago, Roxy Couturier said:

I know this is a light-hearted post Caerolle, but I'm going to give a totally serious reply.

I would never subject someone to the forums. We all know there are posters that try to be cruel as the moderators will allow. If they come here on their own, fine. I won't be the one to add churn to their lives that the toxic fumes of some posters provides.

I also find several posters that I have run across here pretty obnoxious and a couple that are downright cruel, for sure. I do disagree about rec'ing the Forum to people, though, for a couple of reasons.

First, I would think that anyone who has spent time on maybe any forum, almost certainly if they have spent time on several, understands that most of them (IME all of them) have toxic people. Honestly, with all my rants, complaint, and negativity about SL and LL, I have no doubt a lot of people see *me* as toxic, though I do try to avoid getting dragged into arguments with individual people. IMO, at least; others may disagree. However, I *would* warn anyone to whom I rec'd the Forum about what it is like.

Also, during my brief time back I have had the fortune of participating in at least three threads that I enjoyed quite a lot, learned quite a lot, or both (you were a principle in one of those). Yes, in all but one of those thread, some people I found quite obnoxious and downright mean made themselves known. However, this time around I have no blocked anyone (so that I would not see their posts and get triggered, NOT so they could not communicate with me in DMs). I try to just scan their posts, and if a post is headed somewhere I know will offend or trigger me, I try to just skip over the rest. Sometimes I can tell in the first sentence if they are in a pissing contest with other people and what they say has nothing to do with the topic of the thread. So, on balance, I am glad I have participated, and I would hope someone new to the Forum would feel the same after they have given it a fair trial.

Honestly, having participated in the Forum over the years, I find the current environment far better than what I experienced in the past. Perhaps that is due to me being very selective in the threads I follow, and maybe those are less toxic than all the others I haven't. I also have the impression that censorship is not as heavy-handed as it used to be; I see a lot of discussions and individual posts this time that I feel would have been stomped out in the past. And while I have seen a couple limited pissing contests, they were limited to fewer people and did not spill over pages and pages and pages and just more-or-less become the topic of the thread itself.

Anyhow, sorry this is so long. I hope it makes some sense, and ofc I understand if you or anyone else disagree. I am fine with criticism, a great deal of the time I am full of ***** in one way or another. What I won't respond to is personal attacks and there a some people to whose posts I just won't respond because I feel the odds are high that any discussion with them is going to be at the least unproductive, and likely triggering or toxic.

 

[Scylla Rhiadra]

2 hours ago, CaerolleClaudel said:

she is highly principled

Pfft. People say I have "convictions."

Nonsense!

Sure, there were a few charges, but they were never able to make them stick in court!

 

Thank you, Caer, that's a very kind thing to say! ❤️

[Scylla Rhiadra]

2 hours ago, Roxy Couturier said:

I know a Charybdis in SL. 😃

I think I may have met them a few weeks back!

Although there's probably more than one.

[Roxy Couturier]

1 hour ago, CaerolleClaudel said:

I also find several posters that I have run across here pretty obnoxious and a couple that are downright cruel, for sure. I do disagree about rec'ing the Forum to people, though, for a couple of reasons.

First, I would think that anyone who has spent time on maybe any forum, almost certainly if they have spent time on several, understands that most of them (IME all of them) have toxic people. Honestly, with all my rants, complaint, and negativity about SL and LL, I have no doubt a lot of people see *me* as toxic, though I do try to avoid getting dragged into arguments with individual people. IMO, at least; others may disagree. However, I *would* warn anyone to whom I rec'd the Forum about what it is like.

That's part of the problem. Most people don't spend any time on these or any forums or comment threads or whatever.

I have done that (pulling people I like or even love into forae) and it rarely if ever works out, either they feel they have to defend me or they do something that gets them scorn because they simply because they've never been on one before. That toxicity ruins it for them and causes the churn I mentioned. I'm sure you've seen it. Poster comes in and craps all over the forum, doesn't learn or understand the particular forums culture; gets pushback and either implodes or flounces.

Basically, they haven't had the same experience with various forae nor do they wait to gauge the waters before jumping in head first.

Like I said, if they had the desire to find it on their own, so be it. Me recommending they come where ever? No bueno.

[Ceka Cianci]

I usually just send people to the , Your Avatar section if I send them to the forums.. Most of the time that's because  it's about avatar information.

I don't think I've ever sent anyone to  the general section before.. Not unless there was information that was helpful.. like the Nux/ Senra thread when people were curious about that..

[CaerolleClaudel]

5 minutes ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

Pfft. People say I have "convictions."

Nonsense!

Sure, there were a few charges, but they were never able to make them stick in court!

 

Thank you, Caer, that's a very kind thing to say! ❤️

This reminds me of a scene from a movie I feel pretty sure you have never seen:

Army recruiter (AR): So, have you ever been convicted of a crime?

First potential recruit (FPR): Convicted? No, No, never convicted! (looks at his buddy)

Other potential recruit (OPR): Convicted? No, no, never convicted!

My fave part came a little later, though:

AR, embarrassed: So, I have to ask...are you homosexual?

FPR: Homosexual (ponders)

OPR: No, no, but we're willing to learn, Sir!

Or something along those lines. I loved that even though this movie was (I think) made in the 1980's these guys had no negative feelings about being queer. Then again, maybe they were made to say this just to underline what degenerates they were. I will go with the first interpretation, thank you.!

And yeah, you're welcome. Just how I feel though.

[CaerolleClaudel]

12 minutes ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

I think I may have met them a few weeks back!

Although there's probably more than one.

If there is more than one Scylla, perhaps you could warn us of where these perils lie? 😉😂😂

[Roxy Couturier]

Just now, CaerolleClaudel said:

If there is more than one Scylla, perhaps you could warn us of where these perils lie? 😉😂😂

Often imitated, never duplicated..

[CaerolleClaudel]

4 minutes ago, Roxy Couturier said:

That's part of the problem. Most people don't spend any time on these or any forums or comment threads or whatever.

I have done that (pulling people I like or even love into forae) and it rarely if ever works out, either they feel they have to defend me or they do something that gets them scorn because they simply because they've never been on one before. That toxicity ruins it for them and causes the churn I mentioned. I'm sure you've seen it. Poster comes in and craps all over the forum, doesn't learn or understand the particular forums culture; gets pushback and either implodes or flounces.

Basically, they haven't had the same experience with various forae nor do they wait to gauge the waters before jumping in head first.

Like I said, if they had the desire to find it on their own, so be it. Me recommending they come where ever? No bueno.

Hmmm. I guess I am, to use part of the title of a recent book by Taylor Lorenz, 'Extremely Online.' I have used forums extensively for decades, and I guess I just assumed that everyone had gone to at least a couple of forums. But you are right, probably most people have not.

If I did rec a forum to someone who had never even seen a forum, sure, I would give them some context and encourage them to just listen in for a while. I guess I am used to reading the room in any new situation, but for sure a lot of people aren't. I feel bad that the outcomes you describe happen, and have happened to the people you have introduced to forums.

One thing I find interesting is that anyone who knows you are all would feel that you need defending lol. One of the many things I respect and admire about you is your strength and your courage of your convictions. I am kind of in awe of you, actually, lol.

Thanks for sharing your perspective, you certainly expanded mine! 🫂

[CaerolleClaudel]

11 minutes ago, Roxy Couturier said:

Often imitated, never duplicated..

😂😂😂

I would be interested in knowing who tried to imitate Scylla. I find her pretty unique, as I do you, lol.

[Roxy Couturier]

1 minute ago, CaerolleClaudel said:

😂😂😂

I would be interested in knowing who tried to imitate Scylla. I find her pretty unique, as I do you, lol.

It might have been the bad old days when she first came to the predecessor forum? Maybe I'm misremembering..

But it makes for an epic mythic origin story, dunnit? 😁

[CaerolleClaudel]

3 minutes ago, Roxy Couturier said:

It might have been the bad old days when she first came to the predecessor forum? Maybe I'm misremembering..

But it makes for an epic mythic origin story, dunnit? 😁

So, like a superhero origin story? 😂😂😂

[Roxy Couturier]

6 minutes ago, CaerolleClaudel said:

So, like a superhero origin story? 😂😂😂

Hero.. Villain.. It depends on who you ask.

After all, Scylla is a great photographer and both Peter Parker and Eddy Brock were photographers..

EDIT: Obligatory Peeve: Not having an appropriate peeve to add in.

Edited May 25 by Roxy Couturier

[Love Zhaoying]

18 minutes ago, CaerolleClaudel said:

30 minutes ago, Roxy Couturier said:

Often imitated, never duplicated..

😂😂😂

I would be interested in knowing who tried to imitate Scylla. I find her pretty unique, as I do you, lol.

Your profile picture has a strong resemblance to Scylla IMO, and that's a heartfelt compliment!

 

[Roxy Couturier]

1 minute ago, Love Zhaoying said:

Your profile picture has a strong resemblance to Scylla IMO, and that's a heartfelt compliment!

 

Or... She bears a strong resemblance to me 😉

[Love Zhaoying]

9 minutes ago, Roxy Couturier said:

Or... She bears a strong resemblance to me 😉

Peeve: Apologies for any confusion since your quote was imbedded. I was referring to @CaerolleClaudel.  The way she wears her hair, and also her facial shape (to a lesser extent) and expression remind me of @Scylla Rhiadra.

Edited May 25 by Love Zhaoying

[CaerolleClaudel]

19 minutes ago, Roxy Couturier said:

Hero.. Villain.. It depends on who you ask.

After all, Scylla is a great photographer and both Peter Parker and Eddy Brock were photographers..

EDIT: Obligatory Peeve: Not having an appropriate peeve to add in.

So, Spiderman or Venom, then? I had to look up who Eddy Brock is, I don't know much about the whole Marvel/DC stuff lol. Also, I am not clear, is Venom a hero or a villain? Or perhaps kinda of both, falling more toward one at times and the other at other times? 🤔

[CaerolleClaudel]

18 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said:

Your profile picture has a strong resemblance to Scylla IMO, and that's a heartfelt compliment!

 

Wait, what??? I am confused how pfp looks like Scylla's in any way, other than we are both women. Would you mind saying what the similarities are?

[CaerolleClaudel]

8 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said:

Peeve: Apologies for any confusion since your quote was imbedded. I was referring to @CaerolleClaudel.  The way she wears her hair, and also her facial shape (to a lesser extent) and expression remind me of @Scylla Rhiadra.

Ok, I still do not see it though. In her pfp, Scylla has a middle part and her hair tucked behind her ears; mine has a side part and is the opposite of tucked behind my ear on my right side (the point of that hair, there are 3 levels of falling forward, and I use the most extreme one).

Facial shape? We do both have sorta pointy chins I suppose.

Oh expressions? In Scylla's pfp I read her as sweet and friendly, and looking up at the viewer almost adoringly. I feel I kinda suck at reading face expressions though, and knowing Scylla, I would guess the 'adoring gaze' is likely NOT what she is going for in her pfp lol.

[Love Zhaoying]

5 minutes ago, CaerolleClaudel said:

Wait, what??? I am confused how pfp looks like Scylla's in any way, other than we are both women. Would you mind saying what the similarities are?

What is "pfp"?

I already explained here:

13 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said:

The way she wears her hair, and also her facial shape (to a lesser extent) and expression remind me of @Scylla Rhiadra.

 

[Love Zhaoying]

1 minute ago, CaerolleClaudel said:

Ok, I still do not see it though. In her pfp, Scylla has a middle part and her hair tucked behind her ears; mine has a side part and is the opposite of tucked behind my ear on my right side (the point of that hair, there are 3 levels of falling forward, and I use the most extreme one).

Facial shape? We do both have sorta pointy chins I suppose.

Oh expressions? In Scylla's pfp I read her as sweet and friendly, and looking up at the viewer almost adoringly. I feel I kinda suck at reading face expressions though, and knowing Scylla, I would guess the 'adoring gaze' is likely NOT what she is going for in her pfp lol.

If "pfp" if a "Personal Forum Picture" or something, I am not referring to that at all.  I am referring to the many, many, pictures which Scylla posts on the Forum.

[CaerolleClaudel]

4 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said:

What is "pfp"?

I already explained here:

 

Profile photo.

Yes, but I saw your explanation after I posted my reply. I use my email notices of reactions, mentions, and replies to go directly to whichever is next in order, so I saw your second post on appearances after I replied to the first, sorry.

Yes, I know Notifications in the Forum will do the same, I just use the link from the email 'cause I like doing it that way...

[Roxy Couturier]

18 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said:

Peeve: Apologies for any confusion since your quote was imbedded. I was referring to @CaerolleClaudel.  The way she wears her hair, and also her facial shape (to a lesser extent) and expression remind me of @Scylla Rhiadra.

Ah, well i don't look at the quotes if i know it's mine. Blame the blogrum software..

Apparently the forum decided I should get the compliment, so I'll take it!