Danica Sparta Posted April 9, 2011 Share Posted April 9, 2011 I just know there has to be others in the same situation as I am. I have been wondering where to find such a group of people though. Creating my own group has crossed my mind, but then where would I advertise to reach the people that belong in the same group. Are you Married in RL but your spouse doesn't play SL and really has no interest or time to play? Do you still want that feeling of companionship? Someone to explore and enjoy the grid with? Well thats where I am. I love my RL husband, but find my Avatar is very lonely sometimes and the thought of having someone to share my time inworld just sounds really nice.Am I alone or do you find yourself in the same situation? Feel free to IM me privately if this is something you don't feel comfortable posting about openly on the forum.Thanks ~ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Storm Clarence Posted April 9, 2011 Share Posted April 9, 2011 One of the things I enjoy about SL is the people that you can meet. You mention wanting to start a group for 'like minded' people, but have *you* searched and joined any groups - of either like or unlike mind? I found groups are the best way to meet others because you to get to listen in on some chat; get to know some of the participants; say hello and initiate conversations yourself. Don't join a group with only 3 members or you will wind up talking to yourself. This forum is also a good way to get to know some people. No, you are not alone - go meet others who may not be exactly like you, but will possibly lead to friendships, anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Venus Petrov Posted April 9, 2011 Share Posted April 9, 2011 You must know that the answer to your post is 'no, you are not alone.' You have been in SL over two years. From your profile, it seems you are a busy person and hold responsible roles. You must interact with many people on a regular basis. Think of the kinds of activities you enjoy -- listening to live musicians? riding horses? flying airplanes? dancing? There are groups for all of these things and more. Seek out what you like! You could even go to a Welcome area and help new residents. Your world. Your imagination. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MoiselleErin Teardrop Posted April 10, 2011 Share Posted April 10, 2011 Even poor little avatars need companions. I may have found one if the person is serious about being interested in an Erin. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nada Epoch Posted April 10, 2011 Share Posted April 10, 2011 You're not alone, just go out to place when you have free time and chat it up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
valerie Inshan Posted April 10, 2011 Share Posted April 10, 2011 Storm, this is completely out of topic but I have to say I am absolutely delighted to see the pink icon is back in your badge! It matches perfectly with you vest and tie! (the blue one was indeed a fashion "faux-pas") :smileyhappy: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wildcat Furse Posted April 10, 2011 Share Posted April 10, 2011 NOOOOOOOOOOOOO ..... :smileyvery-happy: *meows* I… I used to think that my life… had to mean some-thing but it turned out… I had to find out the hard way create my own meaning You are not alone… inside You are not alone… tonight tonight Could you let it go, inside? Could you let it go, …?? Tonight. I I used to think That I had to know Every, Thing and Every one But it turned out that I had to start knowing, … start feeling? You are not alone, inside You are not alone, tonight Tonight Could you let it go, inside Could you let it go, … tonight You’re not alone, Inside, You’re not alone, tonight, Could you let it go.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cadillac91 Posted April 10, 2011 Share Posted April 10, 2011 I find alot of people feel this same way. Being 19 I do not however, so I can't say I know how you feel. Best of luck to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anita61 Anatine Posted April 10, 2011 Share Posted April 10, 2011 I feel the same Danica, I'm not looking for a partner but would like to have someone special..it seems that everywhere you go there are couples around. If I go to a place to dance, usualy the guys will ask for sex in the first few sentences (or words even) and that's not what I'm looking for. I have a job in SL wich takes up a lot of my time, but I do miss someone to just relax, explore, shop or dance with. For a long time I had someone like that in SL, even though we didn't spend much time in the same sims, we used to be in eachothers IM's all the time. He doesn't log in much anymore and I miss that. My husband isn't interested in SL at all, he sometimes likes the builds I show him but the interaction with people from all over the globe doesn,t interest him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mila Edelman Posted April 10, 2011 Share Posted April 10, 2011 I personally have never looked for friends in SL. Not because I'm a fabulous person (believe me, I'm not),but because I don't really need to seek companionship actively. If it comes, it comes. If not, it doesn't. I don't connect with many people RL or SL, so it doesn't bother me. (Which, to my amusement, REALLY upsets people who need everyone to follow them blindly.) Note: I do NOT mean sex or any variation. Purely friends to explore with. I tend to meet people through my work, various business contacts who have become friends. Though one will confirm that we met over 15 years ago in a D&D-like setting, and just tend to gravitate to the same things. But for the most part, I meet folks through my SL work. I keep in touch with those I like. And when we're free, we go do stuff together. If you give off the vibe that you're desperate, people WILL take advantage of the desperation. I really wouldn't go to nightclubs to meet people. Just too much promise of sex I wouldn't ever be wanting or delivering. Hang in the places where people do things you like. Even some of those can be a total Noah's Ark situation, and you're the only one without someone to talk to. But if it's that bad, move on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Randall Ahren Posted April 11, 2011 Share Posted April 11, 2011 Anita61 Anatine wrote: If I go to a place to dance, usualy the guys will ask for sex in the first few sentences (or words even) and that's not what I'm looking for. That's my problem too. All these women asking me to get naked right away. What kind of a dude do they think I am? If we crossed paths in-world, I wouldn't be one of the guys that asks you for teh secks. I would friend the bejesus out of you. I would go shopping with you, and help you choose just the right pair of shoes to match your new hair, and listen to your complaints about your RL hubby or bf or whatever and admire your fabulous skirt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Willow Danube Posted April 11, 2011 Share Posted April 11, 2011 On the subject of being alone.... I'm not sure which one is the worst... Being alone because you are alone or having someone or more and still feel alone? How do you know if you are lonely or is just a loner? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Randall Ahren Posted April 11, 2011 Share Posted April 11, 2011 Feeling lonely a lot is part of the programming. Humans are gregarious animals, like sheep, apes, elephants, dogs, and many other species. We have a deep seated need to be around others of our kind. One of the worst punishments meted out in prisons is solitary confinement. And when we are around each other we fight and bicker. As Buddha concluded, life is suffering. With respect to loneliness, you are lucky that you are a woman. There are some things a woman will never understand about a man, and one of them, is just how lonely men are. You have the luxury of girl friends and don't have to be so careful about your sexual identify. Men do not have that luxury unless they are gay, and it's not the sex for why gay men seem so comparatively happy. One of the best palliatives for loneliness is a dog. True happiness is a dog and a fine day. That is as close to heaven as we get in this world. It is no accident that dog is god spelled backwards. Yep, being a man is a tough job. That's why when I go home at night, I like to put on a pair of panties and a nice dress. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jessika Rang Posted April 11, 2011 Share Posted April 11, 2011 sl Randall Ahren wrote: That's why when I go home at night, I like to put on a pair of panties and a nice dress. Randall I agree with everything you said, but this made me laugh, as a rl woman when I come home I take off all the trappings and slip into something velvety and comfy. As to the OP - I agree but its any easy problem to solve - just go out and talk to people. Join groups that you are interested in and you will find interesting companions. Personally I enjoy flirting in sl so I do occassionally frequent some of the dance clubs and I have met many interesting people. Mostly in SL I hang out at my place and build or go out exploring and taking pictures - chatting with old friends in IM most of the time. Sometimes I can be in sl for an hour or two and no one will IM - and thats ok too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Willow Danube Posted April 11, 2011 Share Posted April 11, 2011 Randall Ahren wrote: With respect to loneliness, you are lucky that you are a woman. There are some things a woman will never understand about a man, and one of them, is just how lonely men are. You have the luxury of girl friends and don't have to be so careful about your sexual identify. Men do not have that luxury unless they are gay, and it's not the sex for why gay men seem so comparatively happy. Last year someone in RL who is dear to me was having a marital problem and my advice to him was to divorce and concentrate on being single for the moment. He said he couldn't do it because he is a man and men has needs. Being a woman, I could only guess what it was. Both you and I are living in a close-knit societies where isolation can be pushed to the extreme depending on how we look at it. Being away from family or loved ones are one thing to take, facing daily challenges for being 'different' is a different monster altogether. I am dealing with this everytime I step out from my door especially at work where 98% are male workers. I do feel the occasional yearnings for the laughter and jokes you can only share with your female colleagues. Second Life does provide a little bit of relief to isolation in RL... but it cannot be the cure of loneliness and it can certainly backfired and caused more withdrawal effects in RL if people went overboard... it can be scary. Now as for you wearing panties and dresses... I wan't to see pics. But I'm sure you looked beautiful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MoiselleErin Teardrop Posted April 11, 2011 Share Posted April 11, 2011 With making friends or finding a companion - Some people try to do this thru way of cliques. If you are the clique-type, of course find one. I am not. My friends are scattered. Some of them know each other, most do not. Sometimes NO ONE will IM me and other times I have several (I don't try to have more than 3 going cause it is just too much to keep up) Most of the time when I get too many IM's is when I am trying to do something tedious like fix my house where a single bad click can ruin the whole project. But for WHO to make steady friends with - probably better to seem women. Despite the whole "Every female avy is some guy trying to do teh sects" rumor, I think in general, the avy reflects the person RL gender.Well except for the escorts and "lesbians". DUDES! And with that - women just make better conversationalists. Most men could not carry a conversation if it had a handle on it. My take on SL - I do not "explore" much cause my computer is slow, I average 5 FPS on low graphics so exploring is more aggrivating than anything. Put me on a busy sim and that drops to just TWO FPS. So I like to chat with folks or build stuff, or do home improvements. You never know where your next friend is gonna come from. Many people get on SL once in a blue moon but there are some addicts who you can count on seeing regularly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Evangeline Twist Posted April 11, 2011 Share Posted April 11, 2011 You're not alone. My RL husband will not play, I have begged him many times to create a avatar but he refuses! We are both big gamers and play other multiplayer games together but nothing like sl. He will check out my avatar, photos or the homes I have decorated if I ask him to, but when I asked him to make an avatar so I could have a dancing partner he laughed..lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danica Sparta Posted April 11, 2011 Author Share Posted April 11, 2011 Ok, let me clerify my meaning of "Am I alone"....what I mean simply is that I'm a married woman that loves her RL husband. He has an avi, but doesn't play. I would like to have a male companion on SL but have found that alot of the men looking for women are single and most of the time looking for the SL thing to lead into RL. I don't wish to mislead anyone. I just know that there must be Married men out there in SL who's wives don't play SL and they might be looking for a female companion as well. This is what I am wondering if there are others in my situation that would be interested in joining a group of the same sorts.... PS ~ Thank you for all the responses, I have enjoyed reading them all. Please keep them coming Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Willow Danube Posted April 11, 2011 Share Posted April 11, 2011 Danica Sparta wrote: ... that alot of the men looking for women are single ...... WTH??? You and I have got to trade our friends list... :smileyvery-happy: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danica Sparta Posted April 11, 2011 Author Share Posted April 11, 2011 Gladly dear.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Randall Ahren Posted April 12, 2011 Share Posted April 12, 2011 Willow, Sorry, I didn't realize your situation was so difficult. I would be terrified to live in that part of the world and even more so if I were female. I don't know what country you live in, but I keep thinking of that 14 year old girl in Bangladesh that was whipped to death for being raped last month or the lady yesterday that was whipped in Indonesia and required hospitalization. Why should a women need corraboation from four male witnesses to prove she was not being unchaste? In 1973, the UN adopted the Apartheid Convention defining it as a crime against humanity. If apartheid based upon the color of one's skin is a crime, is apartheid based upon gender not also a crime? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Willow Danube Posted April 12, 2011 Share Posted April 12, 2011 LOL.. Randall. You make it sound really difficult. Rest assured to you and everyone else who are reading this that I am not in any danger or in dire state situation. I was just thinking about where some people are living in, and the daily challenges we are facing that most will take for granted. To be honest, I've never felt safer in any other parts of the world that I've been to than this place. But that does not mean to say that it is all milk and honey.. cultural restrictions are huge issue even among the locals. There are many horrifying stories about women being prosecuted by men dominated society who uses religion as the excuse to cert their territory. Do I agree with all this? The answer would be horribly unthinkable if I were to say Yes. But we must also learn, these are extremists with deluded sense of empowerment oiled by poverty and greed. The heart of the culture, the common people themselves are just.. well... normal. I've talked, met and worked with Bangladeshis and Indonesians ... and you know?... they are no difference than any of us. We all want the same thing in the end... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Randall Ahren Posted April 12, 2011 Share Posted April 12, 2011 We may all have the same basic desires, but many of those desires are evil unless coupled with self restraint. One of the worst is the desire to dominate. The struggle between good and evil resides in our ability to exercise self-control over our base desires. If there is a heaven, there is also a hell. Simply because we desire the same things doesn't mean all is well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Willow Danube Posted April 12, 2011 Share Posted April 12, 2011 Randall, You are so deep, it hurts! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danica Sparta Posted April 12, 2011 Author Share Posted April 12, 2011 So does this leave you yearning for a male companion inworld? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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