How do you make friends in SL?

[Suspiria Finucane]

I've often wondered how each person makes friends in SL and if there is a pattern that is the most successful. I'm an A type personality and very outspoken. I make friends easily in SL. Others are shy and mayhave troubles making friends.

Perhaps this thread can help those shy people make some new friends in the community. I know I've made many friends throughout my forum days.

Do you go to certain places to make friends?

Do you speak to people first or wait to be spoken to?

Do you attent events?

Do you join groups to make friends?

Most importantly are these people truly friends or do you consider them acquaintances?

PS I'm Suspiria, nice to meet you. I am always open to new friendships. :smileyhappy:

 

[Elric Anatine]

Good question, and I look forwrd to reading responses of others.

Myself, I'm actually not in SL for the purpose of making friends plus I'm actually quite shy and find socializing terrifying sometimes.  I have no issues conversing with creators, sim owners etc., but in my old days of attending Caledon events -- I would spend the first hour just mastering breathing.

Having said that, I do have a few very good real friends in SL, and each of them "simply happened" through chance encounters.  I would say that my behaviour was the primary reason for forging the friendship (my being friendly, open, non judgmental, a little reserved at first, genuine, curious about others etc.).

My avatar's appearance and my capability for being a little more gregarious (once I find I catch my breath) has and seems to earn me more social friendships, but in the end these are likely acquaintances, although I do care for their well-being and will help them any time I can.  In fact, upon thinking of it, I'm helpful to anyone I can be.  But I don't crave socialization or "need" friendships.  So I very much feel like the "odd person out".

Oh, I have to add that participating in events and games is a very good way to meet people, as is exploring.  Shopping -- not so much.  This weekened I've been researching men's clothing shoppes in SL and I've never encountered so many "panhandlers" in my SL life as I did yesterday while "shopping".

[Thinkerer Melville]

And nice to meet you, Suspira

Here are some links to pages I made for people who want to make friends

http://virtualoutworlding.blogspot.com/2011/01/kit-people-how-do-i-find-people.html

http://virtualoutworlding.blogspot.com/2010/12/kit-how-do-i-meet-people-profiles-yours.html

http://virtualoutworlding.blogspot.com/2011/01/kit-friends-keep-in-touch.html

http://virtualoutworlding.blogspot.com/2011/02/groups-101-why-and-how.html

=======================

Do you go to certain places to make friends?

Yes -- places that fit my interest.  I figure those places will people withi similar interests

 

Do you speak to people first or wait to be spoken to?

I say "Hello" and wait for a response.  If I see a shared interest on the person's profile,  I may point that out

 

Do you attend events?

I check profiles at events I attend

 

Do you join groups to make friends?

I join groups because I am interested in what the group does, but I expect to make friends of people with similar interests.

 

Most importantly are these people truly friends or do you consider them acquaintances?

The people I interact with a lot are truly friends

Thinkerer

[Suspiria Finucane]

 

---

Thinkerer Melville wrote:

And nice to meet you, Suspira

Here are some links to pages I made for people who want to make friends

<snipped>

Most importantly are these people truly friends or do you consider them acquaintances?

The people I interact with a lot are truly friends

Thinkerer

---

WOW! Thank you for this post and the links. I'm sure it will be a great help to many people. :smileyhappy:

Maybe we can meet inworld sometime for a chat.

 

[Imnotgoing Sideways]

Friends, in a way, just happen.  Making them is the easy part.  It's like obeying the law of gravity. ()

Getting along with them so that they'll stick around... That's the hard part. (._.)

 

 

[Irene Muni]

Most of my friends in SL were born by chance. A chance meeting, a brief talk that drags on, a question for help, a veteran (or not!) participant in SL Answers ... Personally, I do not "seek" friends but, without more, I "meet" friends

[Quinn Morani]

Great topic, Suzy.

Do you go to certain places to make friends?

Not really. I just explore places that sound interesting to me. Most of my SL friendships have happened organically, not because I was specifically seeking friendship. Many are people I first got to know on this very forum.

Do you speak to people first or wait to be spoken to?

Both, but I'm more likely to let others initiate the conversation.

Do you attent events?

I sure do! In the early days I'd check the SL events listing, but these days I mostly attend events I'm made aware of either here on the forum or through inworld groups I belong to.

Do you join groups to make friends?

Not specifically to make friends, but getting to know people better in groups has been a nice bonus.

Most importantly are these people truly friends or do you consider them acquaintances?

Some of both. And the funny thing is, I communicate more with some people not on my friend list than with some people who are!

[Rikisabu Norwood]

Hanging around in dance clubs and talking to people there is my best bet. I recently joined a neko group to expand my horizons. I hope it works out in the end.

Not so sure about anything else though. In my past experiences on SL you had to pretty much be invited by others to hang out anywhere else. That's kind of hard if you don't know anybody already.

Anyway... nice to meet you Suspiria =^-^= For some reason I have much more trouble finding friends in SL than in real life.

[Ankha1488303114]

Do you go to certain places to make friends?

I personally go to the places I go because I'm somewhat shunned outside of the "normal" populous because of my gender choice in SL. Other than that sometimes I make friends, sometimes I don't. Sometimes I go the places I go to make money.

Do you speak to people first or wait to be spoken to?

I've been known to be very quiet at times and I've been known to be a area b*tch.

Do you attend events?

if I get dragged to them, yeah.

Do you join groups to make friends?

none of them have resulted of that yet. But then again I'm still new to SL.

Most importantly are these people truly friends or do you consider them acquaintances?

I have a few good friends, and I'm partnered to my best friend <3 but most still are aquatintences but I give everyone that chance to become a friend.

[DQ Darwin]

Good question Suzy. I think we first have to define "friends";

Friends as reference to a sole buddy in SL are something nurtured over a period of time as knowledge of each other grows and one becomes comfortable with the other (notice I didn't say Partner). This takes time and effort to truly establish. It's special.

Friends in the sense of an acquaintance is a different story. This type can have many reasons to offer and accept friendship and also to over time remove from friendship. It might be the simple acceptance of friendship to permit someone you are helping to find you again. This type of friendship can grow to something special or over time die out, Either way it doesn't mean that you are responsible in anyway other than what you chose.

One thing that could be improved is when you remove someone from your friend list a short message can be attached in the process explaining why. This does reduce the angst some experience at being removed off your list.

The bottom line is that every "hello" from a stranger can lead to a possible friendship, some long lasting while others are short, but if you don't answer are you closing the door on unknown possibilities?

My thought is if they can take the time to say hi I can can take the time to reply from that point my own common sense will determine what happens.

Groups, events, forums and the random "Hi" are my methods from that point on who knows. 

---

Suspiria Finucane wrote:

I've often wondered how each person makes friends in SL and if there is a pattern that is the most successful. I'm an A type personality and very outspoken. I make friends easily in SL. Others are shy and mayhave troubles making friends.

Perhaps this thread can help those shy people make some new friends in the community. I know I've made many friends throughout my forum days.

Do you go to certain places to make friends?

Do you speak to people first or wait to be spoken to?

Do you attent events?

Do you join groups to make friends?

Most importantly are these people truly friends or do you consider them acquaintances?

PS I'm Suspiria, nice to meet you. I am always open to new friendships. :smileyhappy:

 

---

[Suspiria Finucane]

Great post Dee

 

[livvylooboo]

Hi i'm livvylooboo and what i ment was do you have to go to a certain place to meet friends?

p.s i'm new to this

 

[Randall Ahren]

There's no special place you need to go. You can even make some fantastic friends just by posting here in the forum. Or by visiting infohubs inworld. There are so many wonderful people in SL, it's more like "How could you NOT make friends?" It may not happen as fast you like, but you know what they say, SL wasn't built in a day.

If you really want a lot of friends right now, try this. Everyday visit the infohubs and stay in world until you've added at least one more friend to your friends list. A lot of them, probably most, will not be that good of friends for you, but some will.

ps: Welcome to the forums.

[Cinnamon Mistwood]

Do you go to certain places to make friends? 

No, I find that friendships are completely random and by chance.  Every single person I meet is a potential friend.  How great is that?

Do you speak to people first or wait to be spoken to?

I will occasionally speak first, but usually it starts with an IM from someone.  I have been in SL for more than a year now and I have never met anyone that was truly mean.  Even the people who attempt to grief have not been treated badly.  I've made a few friends being nice to griefers.

Do you attend events? 

Yes, I recently started attending events.  This is an area I would like to improve in.  Usually my free spirit just takes me where ever the winds blow me.  I never know where I'll end up each time I log in.

Do you join groups to make friends?

Another thing I have recently done - yes, I have finally started joining a few groups.  I do better with one-on-one conversation, but I am getting use to the fast pace of group chats.  You know...  Look away for 30 seconds and the topic of conversation has changed 3 times....  I am looking forward to making some friends this way.  So far, so good.

Most importantly are these people truly friends or do you consider them acquaintances?

Mostly my friends list is filled with acquaintances, but there are a select few that I have become very close to.  The ones I hope are on when I log in.  The ones I really look forward to seeing.  The ones whose friendship follow me into real life when I log off and who, when I I think about them, have me breaking out in giggles that make people around me wonder if I am sane.  The ones who have the power to move me to tears, laugh hysterically or see the world in a new way all in a magical, virtual world.