Cassandra Melnik Posted April 16, 2013 Share Posted April 16, 2013 I just returned to Second Life after being away for nearly three years and I'm looking to make friends but every where I go, it seems, the people are stuck up. This is one of the reason I left before and I thinking about leaving again...only for good this time Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amethyst Jetaime Posted April 16, 2013 Share Posted April 16, 2013 Some people may be stuck up but not everyone. You can't expect people to fall all over themselves wanting to be your friend. You have to do half the work. You need to initiate conversations with people you find interesting. If you IM someone they may not answer right away if they are busy doing something give people more of the benefit of a doubt. Secondly I looked at your profile and it isn't very welcoming. Its kind of insulting right off the bat by saying to "I've been hurt too many times in SL anf RL by "friends" and I don't really want to go down that path again so leave me alone if you don't know the meaning of true friendship....and very few people do." If I ran into you in world and thought about chatting, I'd look at your profile and just move on. It doesn't tell me anything about you that I might have in common with you or even anything I could use to start a conversation with you nor does it tell me what you think the "true meaning of friendship" is in SL. You may be the nicest person on the grid, but how could anyone tell that? I think you need to change your attitude a bit about people as well as work on your profile. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MuffinUnsane1488303563 Posted April 16, 2013 Share Posted April 16, 2013 I hope you don't mind me asking but, Are you sure its other people being stuck up? Sometimes it can seem that way but you have to remember that friendship isn't something that just appears the instant you start talking to someone. Sometimes you have to start up a convo yourself! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucretia Brandenburg Posted April 16, 2013 Share Posted April 16, 2013 I was going to write a longer reply but Amethyst put it perfectly. I will add that "true friendship" means very different things to different people, so were I you, I would emphasize explaining that more when fleshing out your profile. There is nothing at all in your profile to indicate that you have any interest in making friends, actually. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cassandra Melnik Posted April 17, 2013 Author Share Posted April 17, 2013 It's obvious none of you are interested either. So **bleep** it and **bleep** all of you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cassandra Melnik Posted April 17, 2013 Author Share Posted April 17, 2013 To think someone would ignore me just because I may have been alittle unhappy in the past just pisses me off.....Am I suppossed to be happy, or pretend to be happy, just to have friends? **bleep** that. I was right, you all are stuck up. Even when I'm nice, which definitely isn't today, I can't make friends...unless I allow some pervert to screw me...They have been the only ones who would talk to me lately. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Madeline Blackbart Posted April 17, 2013 Share Posted April 17, 2013 It's not stuck up to be scared off by someonewhos says in there profile that you have to know the meangin of true friendship to talk. It's not the being hurt in the past it's the implication that so few people (indicating probably the reader included) know what friendship is. It comes off a bit...pushy. Also your quick reaction to start cursing and carrying on when some one points out what might be improved in a imo gentle way might be an indication WHY your not making friends in sl. Just saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amethyst Jetaime Posted April 17, 2013 Share Posted April 17, 2013 You never requested friendship in your OP. You just stated that you had trouble making friends. No one said you had to be deliriously happy. It was just pointed out that you have a profile that doesn't give people any information about you to use to start a friendship and it really is off putting. Maybe that is why the only people that will talk to you are people that want sex from you. People do read profiles and do it a lot when they consider talking to you. You sound more than a little unhappy. You sound bitter and your profile reflects that. Your reply to people trying to help you is a prime example of the attitude I am talking about. I sincerely hope you find someone that doesn't mind your drama and attitude and will be your friend. Enjoy your SL. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucretia Brandenburg Posted April 17, 2013 Share Posted April 17, 2013 Wow, we actually responded to you in a helpful fashion by pointing out that you present yourself as very standoffish. No one is suggesting you pretend to be happy just to have friends; we were suggesting you might want to make yourself more approachable and less belligerent so that people would want to be friends with you, and put more information about yourself in your profile so that anyone reading it might find something to relate to. Offering advice in an effort to help you out is stuck up? What would not be stuck up? “Hi, I know nothing about you except that you have a chip on your shoulder and seem to feel you’ve been betrayed in the past, and you don’t really seem to want friends because you ask people to leave you alone unless they know the meaning of a very subjective phrase which you don’t define. But sure, let’s be friends. If I don’t live up to your standards (which you never did define) go ahead and verbally abuse me and treat me like garbage, that always makes me want to hang out with someone.” Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marigold Devin Posted April 17, 2013 Share Posted April 17, 2013 Welcome back, Birdie! There are plenty of people in SL, I like doing random searches on topics that interest me, I've met some very nice people that way, hopping but purposeful hopping :matte-motes-big-grin-squint: You might consider paying a visit to the nonprofit commons and looking for people who share interests there, it's very informative. or see about joining a RFL team, it's cool to have a sense of purpose in SL and do something for others at the same time. Just some thoughts. if I were inworld now I'd IM you in pixel person and we could chat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ren Toxx Posted April 17, 2013 Share Posted April 17, 2013 Cassandra Melnik wrote: “...unless I allow some pervert to screw me...They have been the only ones who would talk to me lately” Oh, there's also the perverts that'd like you just because they'd find your temper so funny. I myself am this [ ] close to offering you friendship right now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marigold Devin Posted April 17, 2013 Share Posted April 17, 2013 Ren Toxx wrote: Cassandra Melnik wrote: “...unless I allow some pervert to screw me...They have been the only ones who would talk to me lately” Oh, there's also the perverts that'd like you just because they'd find your temper so funny. I myself am this [ ] close to offering you friendship right now. Ohhhh I am [] close to offering to be Cassandra's personal bodyguard, because she sure can bark, but sometimes silence and action is much more effect. As I long ago reached saturation point as far as perverts are concerned (no A-rated pun intended) I am currently disposing of perverts at the rate of 10 per hour. Give 'em what they want and leave the b4ggers hanging, I say. Watch out ! :matte-motes-evil-invert: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perrie Juran Posted April 17, 2013 Share Posted April 17, 2013 Thanks for leaving me hanging...................... It's not my fault I have a green willy. That's just how we are built. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marigold Devin Posted April 17, 2013 Share Posted April 17, 2013 LOL - you are such a good sport, Perrie. Now (rolls up sleeves) any more for an more? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perrie Juran Posted April 17, 2013 Share Posted April 17, 2013 Marigold Devin wrote: LOL - you are such a good sport, Perrie. No w (rolls up sleeves) any more for an more? If I could only reach my ray gun............................... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nadia Chatterbox Posted April 24, 2013 Share Posted April 24, 2013 LOL @ Marigold & Perrie's pics. Too cute! Answering the OP.. from what I have seen in this thread, it's not your friends that are the stuck up ones. I'm sure I'm getting this saying wrong, but if all the people around your are idiots,, it's probably not them. After feeling bad for you in your first post, I'd go running after seeing your replies. And if your profile sounds hurt & crabby because that's how you feel, others are correct. Most people won't go out of their way to befriend you. They'll give you a lot of space. True friendship doesn't get made upon meeting. It's after talking to someone and finding out you have stuff in common, learning about each other and STILL liking each other after you get to know them. I have people I'm friendly with, but they are acquaintances. Very few are what I call "true friends." The true friends I have in SL, came from outside of SL. We barely talk in SL, but when we do we can talk/hang for hours. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marigold Devin Posted April 24, 2013 Share Posted April 24, 2013 Glad you liked the pics, Nadia. I wish LL would bring back last names. Yours is superb. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alicia Sautereau Posted April 24, 2013 Share Posted April 24, 2013 Cassandra Melnik wrote: To think someone would ignore me just because I may have been alittle unhappy in the past just pisses me off.....Am I suppossed to be happy, or pretend to be happy, just to have friends? **bleep** that. I was right, you all are stuck up. Even when I'm nice, which definitely isn't today, I can't make friends...unless I allow some pervert to screw me...They have been the only ones who would talk to me lately. Meh, **bleep** you too Maybe delete your picks and groups to stop wondering why only the pervs IM you (tho i wouldn`t mind a naked women around, but saying that makes me the perv now instead of keeping my mouth shut ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cassandra Melnik Posted April 24, 2013 Author Share Posted April 24, 2013 Maybe I should just commit suicide...then I wouldn't need friends or have to deal with people being mean to me..like all of you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amethyst Jetaime Posted April 24, 2013 Share Posted April 24, 2013 Cassandra Melnik wrote: Maybe I should just commit suicide...then I wouldn't need friends or have to deal with people being mean to me..like all of you. Isuggest instead that you seek RL professional help and find out why you have to abuse people like you do. You posted, we tried to help but only got cussed at and dismissed, and now you call us mean? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alicia Sautereau Posted April 24, 2013 Share Posted April 24, 2013 ...and people get angry when i make stupid jokes about yet another stupid virtual threat of suicide Send me a friend invite when you hit rock bottom when jumping out of a skyscraper window... at ground level Uhm, wait, better not send it, for your own sake... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maryanne Solo Posted April 25, 2013 Share Posted April 25, 2013 Dont worry so much about it. Get a hobby or business in SL Friends will come, like minded souls etc. I know some people who are extremely fickle and self concious about >everything< They are still my friends though. Friendships built up over quite a period of time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpiritSparrow Skydancer Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 Cassandra Melnik wrote: To think someone would ignore me just because I may have been alittle unhappy in the past just pisses me off.....Am I suppossed to be happy, or pretend to be happy, just to have friends? **bleep** that. I was right, you all are stuck up. Even when I'm nice, which definitely isn't today, I can't make friends...unless I allow some pervert to screw me...They have been the only ones who would talk to me lately. I think the more arrogant, smug and concetied you are in your profile the more friends you will make because people will want to be near you....to get some of your awesomeness. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MoiselleErin Teardrop Posted May 14, 2013 Share Posted May 14, 2013 When seeking friends, a date, a job, or whatever, one must at least pretend to be positive. Yes there are going to be pricks in the world but don't make new acquaintances pay for your bad experiences. Having a childish tantrum is not going to attract anyone. I myself sometimes had trouble making friends. It wasn't cause of my attitude though cause I give everyone the benefit of the doubt, even if they seemed stand-off'ish or weird. My problem was that my avatar was so pretty that everyone was jealous. I mean look at her! My avatar and I are both narcissists but we invite people into our lives. RL and SL Erin both love hearing about how pretty we are. And who better than new friends? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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